Yoona POV :

I have a crush who grew up with me, his name is Cho Kyuhyun. I always thought of him as a friend until last year when we went to a trip from school, I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers. However, we love each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side there were so many other girls around him. For me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl.

“Kyu, do you want to go watch a movie with me?” I asked.

“I can’t” He said.

“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointent.

“Nope, but I am going to meet a friend later.” He said while have his head down.

Kyu was always like that. He met girls in front of me like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘LOVE’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I LOVE YOU’ before. There weren’t any anniversaries for us at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued still the 100th day.. 200th day.. until a year. Everyday before we say goodbye to each other, he would just hand me my favourite doll "Rilakkuma", everyday without fail. I don’t understand why.

Then one day when we on the way walking back  to my house. 

"Um.. Kyu, I.." I said it slowly while we holding hand.

"Yes Yoong. Anything?" Kyu raised his eyebrow.

"I LOVE YOU." I said while making eye contact with him.

"( Silent.. ) You.. erm.. Just take this doll and  faster go home." He let go of my hand and pass me the doll when we reach infront of my house.

That was how Kyu ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday filled my room, one by one. There were so many.

Then one day my 21th year old birthday arrived. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him. Hence I stayed at home in my room and waited for his call. Lunch passed.. Dinner passed.. And soon the sky was dark.. He still didn’t call. I was already tired from looking at the phone for the whole day. Then around 2 A.M. in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.

"Kyu! I miss you!" I hug him when i see him.

"Take this." He broke the hug and pass me the doll.

"What’s this for?" I wanted to know whether he remember my birthday.

"I forget give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye." After he say he start turning back.

"Wait, wait! Do you know what day is today?" I faster grab his arm before he run off again.

"Today? Anything special?" He ask me back.

I felt devastated, I thought he would at least remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing happen.

“Wait! Kyu!” I shout.

"You still have something to say?" He raised his eyebrow.

"Tell me, tell me you love me!" I said to him.

"What!" He feel stun with my sudden action.

"Just tell me! We been together for a year already. Can't you just say the "three words" to me!" I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. 

“I don’t want to say that I love someone so easily. If you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.” He simply said

That was what he said, after that he ran off. My legs felt numb, I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily. How could he! At that moment, I felt that.. maybe he is not the right guy for me.

After that day, I found myself stranded at home crying everyday. He didn’t call me even though I waited for his call. He continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room. Everyday.

After a month, I pull myself together and went to school. But the pain resurfaced when I saw him on a street with another girl. He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me. I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room. Tears fell. Why did he give these to me, I think those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls. In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly my phone rang, it was Kyu. He told me to meet at the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him and this is going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.

"Yoong, I thought you were pissed, so you really came?" He joke.

I couldn’t help hating him for acting like nothing had happened and making a joke out of it. Soon, he held out the big doll as usual to hand it over to me.

"I don’t need it." I feel pissed when i see the doll. 

"What? Why?" He ask worried.

I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.

"I don’t need this doll, this doll is nothing compare with your heart to me. I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again! Get lost!" I feel tear rolled down on my cheek. I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, he never run away, he was shaking.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized in a tiny voice. He walked over to the road to pick up the doll.

"You are so stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!" I shout at him.

But he ignored me and went to pick the doll. Then suddenly.

Honk~ Honk~

With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards his direction.

“Kyu! Move! Move away!” I  getting worry and i shouted. But he didn’t hear me as he squatted down and picked up the doll.

“Kyu, please MOVE!” HONK~

“Bang!” A terrifying sound rang through the whole neighbourhood.

That’s how Kyu left me. That’s how he went away to another world without even opening his eyes to say one word to me. Since that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and sadness of losing him, I feel like I need him, I can't survive without him.

After spending two months in despair, I took out the dolls. Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the number days when we were in love…

“One.. Two.. Three.. ” That was how I started to count the dolls..

“Five hundred and eighty two.. Five hundred and eighty three..” It ended with 583 dolls, we been spending 583 days together. I started to cry again with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly and then suddenly.

“I LOVE YOU~ I LOVE YOU~” I dropped the doll in shock.

“I.. LO.. VE.. YOU??” I picked up the doll and pressed it's stomach.

“I LOVE~ I LOVE YOU~” It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls on their stomachs.

“I LOVE YOU~”

“I LOVE YOU~”

“I LOVE YOU~”

Those words came out non-stop. I.. LOVE YOU.. Why didn’t I realize that? His heart was always by my side protecting me! Why didn’t I realize that he loved me this much? I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach. That was the last doll. The one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. I recognized the voice that I was missing so much.

“Yoong! Do you know what day is today? We’ve been loving each other for 584 days. I couldn’t say I LOVE YOU.. Erm.. Since I was too shy, if you will forgive me and take this doll, I will say I LOVE YOU everyday still the day I die! Yoong, I Love You!” The tears came flowing out of my eyes after i heard his confession. 

"Why? Why?" I asked god. Why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side anymore but he loved me until his last minute.

"I LOVE YOU too! Kyu!" I whisper while kissing the doll.