Tap, tap

A smooth sound chimed in one room. A person sat on the bed with phone in hands scrolled through social media. Some clothes, old pictures, letters, a box and a luggage scattered on the bed around the person.

          Several double tap heard from the phone means the person liked some pictures, then the sound stop. A long sighed sound comes out from the person.

“Guess you were not only mesmerized…” muttered under breath as the person looked at the picture displayed on the screen.

A black and white picture of him kissed her cheek as she smiles at the camera holding her cake. Her smile is always genuine no matter what. She has radiant smile that could brighten a dark room.The captioned wrote as “Happy Birthday Sweetheart. To more years birthday celebrations with you. My heart is yours. Forever.”And end with lots of love emoticon.

          A panged of jealousy felt inside the person heart. Not letting the feeling consumed, the person took a deep breath and blow out a defeated breath when the person eyes caught a pair of worn out black purple sweater with ‘Pink Floyd’ written on it.

         The person took the sweater and grazed a finger on the picture as old memories flashed back.

3 years ago

3rd December

I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater,

You said it looked better on me than it did you,

Only if you knew how much I liked you,

A big smile plastered on my face as I walk my path to the school wearing his favorite sweater. I played with the hoodie laces that fell on my chest.

“I can’t wait to see his reaction.”

        I can’t feel my feet step on the ground. Am I flying? Or my steps feel light because it knows how eager I am to see him? What will he do this time? Will he kiss me too knowing I wear his favorite sweater? Like the last time? Urghhhh my heart! Damn you Kwon Jiyong.

        Yeah, Kwon Jiyong. That was his name. I have been pinning crush on him for years now. 3 years exactly, since I met him at the ground fields doing his routine push up before starting his soccer game.

        He didn’t know back then. Still don’t know now. Maybe he will know. We’ll see. Damn I can feel my cheeks blush. Kwon Jiyong has that impact on me. Actually it’s not just me but everyone.

        I can feel him before I see him. His presence is like some kind of big wave or storm that ready to sweep me off until I fly out to somewhere where there was no ground and sky meet.

“Hey!” Jiyong greet several steps ahead after his eyes locked on me. His eyes glinted when he smiles. I like his smile. He has beautiful smile.

“Hey back.” Damn, why he's such a handsome creature.

“Oh your wear it. It looks good on you. That’s my favorite though. Take better care of it, it’s precious.”

        Then he winked. My heart melted. My body tingled from head to toe. I can feel my legs turned jelly. If only he knew how much I like him.

        I really like him. Maybe he likes me too. If he doesn’t why would he kiss me last time? Maybe we both like each other but afraid to make a move. Is he waiting for me to make the move? Maybe the kiss was his move?

       Only one way to find out. Get a grip! Now!

“Hey Jiyong. You free tonight? Wanna go somewhere?”

He narrowed his eyes at me, “Where do you want to take me this time?”

“It was nothing like last time. I promise. Swear. You won’t regret it!”

       My heart thumps faster waiting for his answer. Please say yes, please say yes. I cross my fingers behind me as my eyes take a full look at his face that never failed to captivate me.

        He tilted his head to the side as if he thinking of his schedule. He has soccer practice every day after school, but today he hasn’t. How would I know? Because I overheard yesterday after they finished their practice. His coach has something emergency at home. I came to his practice every day. Only he doesn’t know.

        Then I watch as his eyes wandering behind me. He has that look that I have never seen before. Not even when he was with his ex-girlfriend. Look that I don’t know how to describe.

But I watch your eyes as she

Walks by

What a sight for sore eyes,

Brighter than the blue sky,

She’s got you mesmerized,

        I looked behind me to see what he was looking at. Some students gathered around each other try taking a look too. I wonder what it is.

       Then all students part away to the side as to give a way to something or rather to someone. A girl walks in the middle of the commotion. She walked through the commotion with effortless grace. As if she is the queen or an angel. Like a beautiful angel and we all just her mere peasant.

      She smiles at students around her. Her smile is so bright, brighter than the blue sky. It’s like she hang a moon or sun above her.

       As she walks by in front of us, I watch Jiyong eyes. Anyone who looked at him would know he is mesmerized by her. Now I know what to describe the looks on his face.

While I die…

        It’s the look I’d had before. The look I wear whenever he was in front of me, a look I wear every time I watched he talked. A look I have after wearing his favorite sweater. After he said it look good on me than him.

         A ‘love at a first sight’ looks.

         My heart plummeted inside my chest. I could feel it cracked. I could feel it died.

A week has passed after I asked him if he want to go somewhere. A week after I wore his favorite sweater. A week after I watched his face and eyes that mesmerized. Mesmerize by the new girl. The new girl that I have come slowly to hate her.

         My plan does not succeed apparently. Because Jiyong didn’t answered my question. In fact, as soon as the new girl past us, he followed her. He tried to engage a conversation with her, told her he could show her around. And gladly the new girl took his offer. Offered that made me fisted my hand.

Urghhhhh! I hate her!

         Her presence in this school fouled my mood. She ruined my plan. My confession.

“Hey buddy, what’s with the face?” Bom asked me as she sat beside me on a bench around our cafeteria. Chaerin and Minzy came too.

“Nothing.” I grumbled under my breath hoping she get the hint I want to dismiss the topic.

“Hey now, don’t be like that. Tell us babe.” Bom give me her stern looks.

“Yeah, what’s wrong? I saw you look moody today in Mr. Hwang class. Your face looks like as if you eat whole bag of sour candy.” Minzy give her concerned look.

“Later, after school. I don’t want to talk about it now.” I quickly dismissed it with my hand, not wanting to let the topic make my mood swing.

“Hey, you all heard about the new girl?” Chaerin the gossip girl in this school interrupted.

“Yeah. She moved here a week ago I think. Heard she’s a top student in her previous school. She looks nice by the way.” Bom praises was so not the words I want to hear right now.

“We have two same classes. You know how hard the questions can be when Mrs. Bok did it in her ‘raging hormones’ time. Last week was that time and she aced the quiz I tell you guys.” Minzy told us the story with her eyes bulging.

“Really?!” Bom and Chearin squeaked.

“Huhh. Bet she’s a bookworm. Nerdy girl.” I muttered to no one.

“Guys dig nerdy girl you know. She has all males in my class full attention. All guys be like ‘awwww’ ‘ooohhhh’ when she answer some questions. Even Mr. Hwang smitten by her. That old geezer. Geez.” Minzy added.

“Guess it just not your class, Minzy.” Chaerin said as she tipped her head to the right to show us something.

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