Jungeun felt like a bomb dropped into her. She never expected that Haseul would have such condition.

She looks perfectly fine, right? Then, how can she have that?

“You’re not supposed to be lying, kid.” Jungeun frowned at the kid, “You shouldn’t be lying about someone.”

Yerim pouted at the woman in front of her, “I’m not! Haseul unnie told me it’s bad!”

Jungeun felt her chest tightening; she wanted to shout her frustrations. She wanted to talk to Haseul and clear everything up.

But she broke up with her.

Jungeun broke up with her.

So, why would it matter?

“Yerim!”

“Sooyoung unnie!”

Jungeun turned to her side and saw a tall running woman.

Sooyoung.

“Is Haseul already here?” Sooyoung asked not noticing the blonde beside the young girl.

Yerim nodded, a wide smile on her face, “She’s already with Dr. Park.”

Sooyoung returned the same smile on the kid before facing the watching Jungeun, “What are you doing here?”

Jungeun swear she could feel the hostility lacing the voice of the taller woman, “I’m visiting my cousin.” She answered.

Sooyoung nodded before turning her back against Jungeun, “Yerim, you should go back to your room and rest, alright? I’ll come and pick you up later after Seul’s session.”

The child nodded and started walking away after giving Sooyoung a bone crushing hug. The two older women watched the kid skipped away in the hallway until the kid disappears in the corner.

Sooyoung glanced at the blonde beside her, clenching her jaw. God knows how much she wanted to hurt this woman but Haseul wouldn’t like that. Haseul was never one who likes violence, so Sooyoung pulled herself together before deciding to walk away.

She was about to take a step when Jungeun stopped her, “Is it true?”

The taller sighed, “I don’t know if Haseul would want you to know,” She faced the girl, “But I think you deserve it. Follow me.”

As the two started walking, Sooyoung immediately message Haseul that she would be a few minutes late as not to worry her best friend. She decided to bring Jungeun to the hospital’s garden, far from the curious gazes and ears.

The two of them kept quiet as they sat down on the nearest bench, a fair space between them. Sooyoung doesn’t know how to start telling her best friend’s secret, while Jungeun doesn’t know how to accept if what that kid, Yerim, told her is true. Sooyoung would be the only one who can confirm if Haseul is really sick.

“Few months ago,” Sooyoung started, her gaze distant, “Haseul collapsed during one of our org meetings. She told us she was just tired and was just feeling under the weather that day, so we believed her. But it happened a few more times and much more often. So, we got worried.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“She doesn’t want to worry you as cliché as it may sound. You know her, Jungeun. She hates worrying anyone.”

“But I’m her girlfriend.” Jungeun mumbled softly.

Sooyoung hummed, “Yeah, you were that’s why I’m going to tell you this,” the taller glanced at the quiet blonde, “Haseul would surely kill me for telling you this but I think you have to know. You were once her friend before her girlfriend.”

Jungeun nodded, “So, it’s true?”

She would lie if she said that she’s not scared of hearing the possibilities that it’s real. That Haseul is really sick.

“Yeah, we found out just a couple of months ago.” Sooyoung smiled at her, a sad one, “I forced her to visit the hospital after collapsing again, then there. The result showed that she has brain cancer.”

“Are there any treatment?”

Sooyoung nodded, “Yeah, the only treatment. Surgery.”

“Then why didn’t she—”

“Because it means forgetting everyone. You, us, just everything that happened to her the past 24 years of her life.” Sooyoung cut her off, “Haseul doesn’t want that. She would rather die with all her memories with her loved ones than live without them.”

Haseul.

Haseul doesn’t want to forget her even after every painful thing she caused.

Haseul still cherish those memories with her.

And yet, she hurt her.

“I know you still love her, Jungeun. You were just upset and frustrated.” Sooyoung let out a small smile, “She needs you now more than ever.”

The two of them stared at nothingness with Jungeun letting everything sink in. It’s hard, really really hard especially if the one involved is the one she would gladly sacrifice her life for. She couldn’t accept the fact that the person who showed nothing but goodness to people would experience such pain.

Haseul doesn’t deserve that.

If anything, she deserves it more.

Haseul deserves better, if not, the best.

Not some kind of sickness that would hurt her.

“Sooyoung unnie!”

The said woman immediately turned around after hearing the high pitched voice and frown after seeing the tear stained face of Yerim.

“Yerim, what’s wrong?”

The kid immediately run towards them, lunging herself on Sooyoung, “I was looking for you everywhere! Dr. Park is looking for you! Haseul unnie is crying!” Yerim sobbed hard, “Everyone is saving her!”

Jungeun felt everything stopped.

For a kid, Yerim isn’t new with the procedures in the hospital because after all, she grew up within these white walls. So, she definitely knows what’s happening.

Without waiting for anyone and anything, Jungeun rushed back inside the hospital. Running through the white hallways never felt suffocating until now. All she could think of was Haseul.

Haseul still looks good earlier, so why are they suddenly saving her?

Jungeun stopped a nurse she bumped into immediately asking where that certain Dr. Park is. After hearing the nurse’s answer, she quickly sprints towards the private room.

“No…”

Jungeun looked at the almost lifeless body of Haseul who was being revived by the doctors. She hates seeing the woman she loves fighting for her own life.

“Jungeun!”

Sooyoung arrived shortly, realizing where the blonde is looking she turned her head and felt her breathing stops seeing her best friend.

Jungeun slowly walk towards the bed, forcing herself between the nurses who tried stopping her for coming closer, “Just let me see her. I want to see her! Damn it!” Jungeun felt her eyes burning, chest constricting, “I still have a lot to say to her! Haseul! Come on! You’ve got to wake up, baby! Jungie’s here! I’m here!” She shouted against the hold of the nurse on her.

She can’t just lose her like that.

She still has to apologize for hurting her.

For making her cry.

She still wants to hug her tight.

Say her regrets.

Kiss her goodnight.

She needs Haseul to know how much she loves her.

“Seul, please…”

“We were having her usual therapy then she suddenly started having seizures.”

Jungeun stared at the sleeping figure of Haseul hearing the doctor’s brief explanation of what happened again. She can see it now— the paleness, the dark circles in which Haseul tried covering up by using make up. She should’ve seen it sooner though. Haseul doesn’t like wearing cosmetics and then she started using it a few months back in which she hide the truth by telling Jungeun that she just wanted to try to be more feminine.

She sighed before holding the soft hand of the sleeping lass, “Why didn’t you tell me, Seul? I could’ve been there for you. I could’ve been a lot more patient to you.” She mumbled, watching the slow breathing of Haseul, “Why pretend that you’re okay?”

She knows she wouldn’t get any response from her questions but she just wanted to let out everything. Her frustration. Her worry. Her anxiousness. Just everything.

“You don’t have to hide anything from me now, alright? I’ll be here for you. I won’t leave again, okay?” Jungeun softly kissed the back of Haseul’s hand.

She closed her eyes and prayed to keep her Haseul safe. She was never religious, she was never one of those kids who would go to church every Sunday to attend mass and pray for things they wanted.

But right now. The One above is the only one she could turn to. 

And so she did.

She prayed to just keep Haseul okay.

She would exchange her lifetime happiness for the love of her life.

For Haseul.

“I still hate you but Haseul wouldn’t want you to skip a meal.” She looked up and saw Sooyoung reaching out a sandwich, “I don’t want to make my best friend sad.”

Jungeun smiled before nodding, grabbing the sandwich with a soft mumble of thanks. She started eating without removing