A Strange Side of Fear

Kai POV

I stared out the window as stood on the 3rd floor of this building with my arms crossed my chest and my feet resting on a desk. I waited around impatiently as my fingers started fiddling with each other; I’ve been waiting for 35 minutes for my band mates to finish recording the last and final song for our new album. Finally, my head shifted slowly towards the door as the door creaked opened. My band mates had finally came back after recording and lazily slides their bodies onto any available furniture that was visible.

“Man I’m beat…” Aoi murmured, grabbing a small pillow from the couch and rested his head onto it. All agreed nodding their heads.

“Tell me about it. My lungs are about to burst.” Ruki huffed. Quickly, I started to get up and head for the door,

“Um, I’ll be back.” I said opening the wooden door.

“Where are you going?” Uruha asked, “When will you be back?” Reita added

“Just around, you know, get some fresh air. And I don’t know, but soon I hope.” I smiled closing the door gently behind me and continued my way down the building and outside. Okay, maybe I lied, no I wasn’t going to go out for some fresh air and no I don’t hope I’ll be back soon from where I’m going to now.

I recently saw a young lady that came by down the meadow every Friday at 4:00 o’clock sharp. She had the most beautiful porcelain face with raven hair that came down to her shoulders and had eyes that were dark shade of grey. I don’t know what my feelings towards her but, there just something about her that intrigues me. Finally as I reached my destination, I found her with her high tech camera taking pictures of random things in this very green open meadow like always.

I stood next to a big old willow tree to prevent her from seeing me as I quietly watched her, not wanting to disturb her. She looked around with a smile plastered onto her lip as if she was have the time of her life taking pictures of nature. For some reason, it made me happy to see her like this every Friday, I don’t know why.

Suddenly, as she turned her head her gaze fell on me almost immediately. I tried hiding away but she seemed to manage to tilt her head and move her way slowly towards me. She bowed her head slightly. Slowly, just a bit, moved away from the tree as my head was tilted down a bit nervous what she might think of me. No use… she caught me.

“Hello…” I said. I as I came close to her, she quickly moved away without hesitation.

“H-h-hello…” she stuttered and put her head down, “How long have you been there sir?” she asked shyly.

“Oh, um, well, to tell you the truth, I just got here actually.” I said, and walked a bit closer. “I’m Uke Yutaka, but everyone calls me Kai” I introduced myself. She took a few steps back again with one hand out informing me to stop.

“L-Leanne.” She said her name stuttering. I was confused, why she looked so scared of me? SCARED OF ME?! I’m like one of the nicest guys out there! Everybody knows that! I let my hand stretch out towards her letting her know I don’t bite.

“Um is everything okay? You seem frighten by something…” I said, she looked down at her camera then resumed her eyes at me. I waited for an answer,

“I… I… please d-don’t come any closer.” She said quietly. At first it really saddened me what she said, but if she feels comfortable at the distance we are at now, then that’s fine by me. I just wanted to get to know her. I smiled and nodded my head.

“Of course Leanne, just as long I can still be able to talk to you from here. Then I’ll do whatever you say.” I said sitting down on the green grass viewing the city scenery; I felt her eyes on me as they started to relax a bit yet it seems she was really surprise about my comment.

“No man has ever listened to me before…and made kind exchanges…”

“Huh?” I said, she shook her hands with a crooked smile as well as shaking her head.

“N-N-Nothing! It’s nothing at a- all. Just talking to myself” she said. “So, m-may I ask why you were there hiding behind the t-tree?” she asked while adjusting her camera. I took in a small gulp before answering.

“Um well...I just wanted to look at the scenery that’s all.” I lied itching the back of my scalp. Silent fell into the atmosphere. “Uh…Sooo, you like taking pictures?”

She smiled and nodded. “Y-yeah, I like to take pictures just about anything actually.” She started. She took her camera and kneeled down to the ground, focusing her lenses then taking a picture of a daisy.

“Just capturing scenery and able to look at it, I can remember what happened that day and how happy I was. It’s really peaceful id say.” She said raising herself up, looking at the scenery and I stood back up. “Until someone ruins the peace that is.” She turned her head to me with an annoyed expression.

“Oh! Um, I’m sorry! I didn’t m--” I was cut off.

“OH NO! I was just kidding! I’m sorry! …That was a bad joke…” she interrupted me with a small chuckle as well as her cheeks turning pink. “S-so what brings you here?” she asked when we started walking away together. That is, in a far distance.

“Hmm, I don’t know, wanting some fresh air and go explore I guess…” I answered. “But what about you?”I asked her. “I don’t see you here very often…” I lied. She twirled her camera strap around her neck and held it close and tilted her head in thought.

“Well, I’m visiting some family members and friends. I live on the other side of this town so, yeah…it’s really fun though” she answered fiddling with her fingers.

“I guess that could be why I haven’t seen you around here…” I chuckled as she nodded in agreement. Another awkward silent hit in.

“um, so… do you take pictures of yourself and all too? Or…” I asked sheepishly.

“Hmmm, pretty much, I can take picture of anyone. That is, if I’m lucky enough not to get caught” She laughed, I could help but nod and smile, not knowing what else to say to her. She tilted her head at me smiling as if she realized something new, I stared back confused.

“What? Is anything the matter?” I asked. She nodded her head and stopped walking for a minute and gently took of hold of her camera looking down.

“N-Nothing! It’s just…You’re not what I imagined for a man to be like… all the other ones I’ve met have only made me hate them…. But you… You’re a really nice guy….” she said sheepishly. We stopped for a moment; she stared at me confused, as I gave the same expression. What does she mean by that? I took a step closer as she took a step back immediately almost as if I was someone dangerous.

“Why is that you keep doing that?” I asked.

“Do what?”

“You take a step back each time I take a step forward towards you?” I answered. She widened her eyes a bit, and then seconds later they lowered.

“It’s because you’re a man.” She said. “I’m androphobic.”

[Fast Forward]

1 month later…

After the day I found out she was androphobic, I’d say we definitely made a close relationship, each Friday; she began walking a bit closer to me and talked without stuttering. That made me happiest man on earth. I just wanted to help her in any way possible to possibly cure her phobia, and as for me, well, to just be able to stay close her.

Another day out in the meadow on a Friday, she took pictures as always, she even offered me if I wanted to take some pictures, of course they didn’t come out as well as she takes them but despite all that, we made a fairly good connection and talked about ourselves and laughed at the littlest things.

“Leanne…”

“Hmm?”

“Just curious, what’s your dream?” I asked, she tilted her head thinking.

“You sure you want to know?”

“Hai very much.” I replied. She jumped onto a long thick flat handle bar and started walking, balancing herself.

“My dream is to find love, and to live happily with the man I love.” She sighed, “But who am I kidding? Talking about such dreams like that for someone who is scared of men…” she said jumping off the bars and perfectly landing on her two feet.

“It’s never going to happen…”

“Don’t say that. I’m pretty sure it’ll come true!” I assured her.

“I hope so… I hope so…” She raised her hand to catch a glimpse of her watch. “It’s getting late, its 7:00…” she said, “I gotta get going Kai.” I looked to the ground with a frown on my lips.

“Really? And we were having such a good time.” I said making her chuckle as she nodded her head.

“Yeah” she grinned then came out a sigh. We came to two separate road way and stood awkwardly. “Well, I go this way; my bus is just about 2 blocks away from here.” She said. I looked over to see a long road ahead of her into the dark road.

“Do you want me to walk you there? It’s dangerous out here at night.” I offered.

“Well since you put it that way, then yes, I would like you to walk Me.” she said.

[Fast Forward]

“Well here we are…” she said stopping to a bus stop.

“Well Kai, Thank you for today.” She said.

“Yeah no problem! Just call me every Friday and we’ll hang out like always.”

“Friday… yeah…always…” she said quietly, I saw her eyes lower down with a frown visible to her lips. “Good thing I got to meet you before I leave this town.” She whispered. My eyes dilated and my mouth dropped.

“You’re leaving?!” I asked, popping my head up shocked. She nodded looking down to the ground.

“Today is my last day here…” she answered. The bus lights flashed before us as it came closer, and closer. Finally it stopped perfectly at the stop; the doors opened.

“Good bye Kai. Thank you for everything and… for being the first man to be so kind to me” she bowed to me and turned around towards the bus. My hands tensed up, I felt the urge to stop her from going in. I didn’t want her to go. Not yet.

“Leanne! Wait!” Before she took one single step onto the bus, I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back gently away from the bus. She gave a confused look with traveling her eyes where I held her hand; soon, she started to panic.

“K-K-Kai what are y-y--”

“Wait. I need to know… will I see you again? Will you come back?” I asked. She stared at me for a moment, all scared. I released our hands and broke the eye contact and took a step back, I started to blush really bad, my heart started to race that my heart could literally pop out of my chest anytime soon. I started to look down at her and stared into your grey, glittery eyes.

“The thing is Leanne… I’ve fallen in love with you.” I confessed. She widened her eyes just a bit. “Ever since I’ve found out you were Androphobic… I’ve become you like you more and more… As Fridays pass by, the only thing I wanted was to be to you as much as possible and to help you!” It seemed she couldn’t stop that shock expression of hers, “If I am the first man to be this close to you by relationship… then… ”

“Can I at least come closer to you?” I took a step forward towards her.

“Can I hold your soft, warm hands?” my hand reached down one of her hand, holding it gently. With the other, I caressed her cheeks. My eyes kindly staring into hers, her eyes so innocent looking; I always want it to be that way: So angelic and beautiful.

“Can I … kiss you?” I leaned down, hovering my lips over hers and very, very lightly kissed the corner of and then the other corner, breathing against her lips. Finally I gently pressed my lips onto hers. “I love you.” my words caught her attention; her head lowered and soon enough she was crying.

“Oh no, did I…? I’m sorry Leanne! I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have don-” I was interrupted by a small chuckle by her; I stared down at her confused. A smile drew from her lip when she lifted her head as small crystal tears slid down.

“I love you too…” she said, my shock was soon turned a smile. My arms automatically wrapped around her waist and pulled her close to me forming a hug. Her arms stretched and wrapped them around my neck. The bus closed up its doors and slowly started driving away into the next street.

“Leanne! Your bus! Its--”

“It’s okay… it’s okay… and you did help me Kai.” she hugged a bit tighter. “This feeling… it’s so much different than any other hug” she quietly whispered. “Of course it is, I’m a man after all” I replied chuckling resting my head onto hers.

“Can I be the man you want to love and live the rest of your life with?”

“Hai… hai!” she said giggling as well. “So is that’s how it feels to be kissed.” She blushed, her fingers touched her lips. “Do you think you could do th--”

Before she knew it, I already knew her question, and my answer was yes. I crashed my lips against hers giving her the most passionate kiss of her life.

“Kai… I’m not afraid anymore… I love you.” she smiled. I slightly pulled away and kissed her forehead. “I love you too.” I whispered into her ear.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” 
- Dale Carnegie

A/N: I admit, this story was kinda cheesy. But hey, I have Anthropophobia: Fear of humans and human company (social). A lot of people had mistaken me as shy/timid or really quiet but really… I’m superbly scared of other people around me and it scares me to talk to them face to face. So I guess this was somewhat a personal story… except I don’t have androphobia… but it kinda relates somewhat. Reading this quote really changed me how I want to cure my own phobia. Thanks Dale.