The flickering light emitting from the night stand manipulated by the tall man was the only source of light that filled the dark room and in his heart. As soon as his thumb pressured on the 'off' button, the room returned to its darken state, just like his heart. 

Though his head felt heavy due to the nonstop crying, it still couldn't compare to how painful his heart felt. His eyes were swollen and his eye bags dark due to the lack of sleep. He was tired - mentally and physically but sleep was not an option. 

Papers scribbled with lyrics, empty beer bottles as well as crushed beer cans were strewn all over the floor of mew's condo. He had remained in the same position for days, remained by the side of his bed, hand clutching onto their couple photo. As memories of their happy days replayed in his mind, tears filled his eyes once more and he returned to being a sobbing mess.

Ever since the break up, Mew hadn't seen anyone. God knows how long he has been in this position. Close friends that knew of the break up tried contacting him only to reach a full voicemail. Family members were not spared from the agony of not being able to reach mew either. He wouldn't see anyone, not even his beloved mother. 

Seeing her would just remind him of the pain as the couple shared many memories together with their mothers, often bringing the elderlies out for meals. And mew could not bear letting his own mother seeing him in this vulnerable state. He knew she would be heartbroken and worried but for once, he wanted to be selfish and care only about his own heartache.

Losing gulf was too much for him to bear. Gulf meant everything to him and he believed that they would be together until their last breaths hand in hand as promised. Snot mixed with tears dripped onto the cold floor. He was a terrible sobbing mess. 

His fingers gripped onto the head of the empty glass bottle that was laying still by his side as he recalled of the broken promises and smashed it across the room, crashing against a painting gifted by fans  - a couple portrait of them. The loud crash quadrupled in the quiet room but it wasn't long before mew burst out crying again, screaming at the top of his lungs, punching against the wall with his already bruised fist caused by the previous punches thrown towards the same spot of the wall. 

He wasn't angry at gulf for choosing to walk away but rather at himself for not being able to keep gulf by his side. For not giving gulf the confidence that mew wouldn't change, for falling short on expectations. 

Weeks had passed since that dreadful day but the wound in his heart still remains fresh, as if the break up had just happened yesterday. Mew had solely been surviving on alcohol in hopes to numb his pain. In this torturous state, he found himself being thankful for the convenience store that was located just below his condo. Buying and constantly indulging alcohol was easy. 

If fans were to see mew then, they wouldn't be able to recognize the once confident, smiley and cheerful actor. His face was unshaven, hair unkempt and his scalp and turned oily. The clean freak had gone by weeks without bathing. No showering, no brushing of teeth, no nothing. It was just him sitting by the pile of trash in his condo. The trash had become one with him; sleep and alcohol had become his best friends. 

Months had passed and he gradually pulled himself up with the help of his close friends and family. They have never stopped trying to contact him and helping him back up. The pain never left mew's heart but at least, he stopped keeping to himself. 

During his absence, fans had speculated online, spread groundless rumours and the observant ones who were strong believer of mewgulf knew that they were no longer a thing. While mew stayed away from the media, gulf was busy working in traditional and series Y. He was still the same adorable, lovely and kind gulf that the public and mew fell in love with.

While mew became reclusive, he was different, no longer the smiley, cheerful and confident person the public once knew. Despite that, he was still receiving various offers by advertisers and directors but none reached him since he had gone missing. 

Though mew stayed out of the media, fans were consoled to at least see mew occasionally posting selfies and song covers.