In my eyes, she was perfect.

You’d think perfection was impossible, but in her I saw no flaws or falters.

From her light sway in her step, to her gentle and smooth voice.  

I stared at her from afar. It was a one-sided affair of affection. I knew in my mind that I’d never have her. However, something deep in my heart held hope. A foolish hope, but what could I do when my heart was taken over by such bliss.

“Will you go out with me?”

I managed to face her. She just stared up at me blankly.

“Uh… forget I even asked.” I turned my back.

I was a fool to think I stood any chance.

Before I could walk down the path of humiliation, to my surprise I felt a warm hand wrap itself around my wrist.

I glanced down at her.

She had such a pleasant grin on her lips. “I thought you’d never ask.”

I thought that I was dreaming. Maybe I was, who knows.

I tested fate and grasped her hand.

Months after things were great. Others even praised our compatibility. Many flaunted their jealousy and gawked at our radiant aura.

 I never wanted this feeling to end.

~~~~~

“I’m coming over.” She told me bluntly over the phone.

I nodded without hesitation to no one in particular. “Sure!”

Some time later, there was a knock on the door, and I answered it.

The house was empty, so we were alone. One could only imagine the possibilities.

She didn’t greet me, only walked past me.

She looked at me with that warm smile she always gave me.

She grabbed my hand.

Our hands intertwined with one another. They seemed like the perfect fit. The warmth they gave off, her smile… nothing could ruin this. At least… that’s what I always thought. Perhaps I raised my hopes up for nothing.

“We need to talk.”

The four words enough to make time stop.

“Let’s break up.”

The three words enough to shatter my heart into a million pieces.

“I’m sorry.”

The two words enough to throw me over the edge.

“Goodbye.”

One word was enough to make me fall into eternal darkness.

She let go of my hand and walked by me. The door shut. I could only stand, dazed. Hoping—no, wishing this was just a dream.

In the spur of the moment, I punched the wall as hard as I could. I continued to pound away at it, creating a bloody dent as my knuckles bled. This wasn’t happening. The physical pain I was feeling wasn’t enough to override the emotional pain in my heart and mind.

The tears in my eyes flooded down like rivers. My knees buckled, and I fell to the ground, wallowing in my own sorrow.

Why? What had I done wrong? Was it too late to change?

I was living on cloud nine. I knew it was too good to be true. It was over as quickly as it began. My shirt was soaked in my tears. I shriveled up into a ball on my carpet wanting to just melt away. 

~~~~~

She was the girl that no one really paid much attention to. She blended in with the rest of the student body. However, I noticed her.

How? I didn’t know myself.  She was average, nothing really stood out about her. Yet somehow she managed to grab my attention.  

“Will you go out with me?”

I paused for a moment trying to process her words.

I was giddy and warmth spread throughout my chest. I enjoyed the overwhelming sensation. Was it happiness?

“Uh… forget I even asked.” She was about to walk away, but an impulse caused me to stop her.

My heart thumped. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Since that day, we had been perfect. She was kind, beautiful, funny… but something didn’t feel right. It lost its spark.

It didn’t take too long for me to realize that I no longer felt it. My hand felt cold in hers, her smile no longer made my heart skip. Nothing felt right. That warm sensation that once sent my heart skyrocketing, now was frozen and uncomfortable… almost unbearable in fact.

After months, I finally decided to do something.  

“I’m coming over.” I hung up the phone.

Each step to her front door felt like a death sentence. Guilt and regret filled my conscious but I wouldn’t let it show. It had to end quickly.

She answered the door, greeting me with her usual, perky self.

I brushed past her, not wanting to look at those alluring eyes.

I couldn’t back out like I did many times before.

I grabbed her hand. I had to make sure.

Nothing. This was it.

“We need to talk.”

Each word came out cold as stone in the dead of winter.

“Let’s break up.”

The bluntness seeped through my tone.

“I’m sorry.”

I couldn’t look at her face.

“Goodbye.”

I walked away. No more words were exchanged. No pain. No tears.

It was over.

~~~~~

I still lay shriveled on the floor. The tears dried, morning light seeping through the dreary curtains.

The pain still lingered. I couldn’t bare it. I felt hatred, sadness and depression, all at the same time.

I was a wreck, a complete mess. Nothing made sense. It all happened too fast.

Contemplating the possibilities with the aching question, itching in the back of my mind.

What now?

My lively personality became zombie-fied and I found myself repeating the same daily routines to try and forget it all but the memory was burned in my mind. 

I let time take its toll. I simply resumed with everyday tasks, just like anyone else. I was back to the same average person I was back then… then again, had I ever been anything more?

In the midst of the aftermath, my mind became clearer. I let my mind move on, but my heart remained the same.

Yearning for that warmth it once felt. Yearning for that light, fluttery feeling…

Perhaps if I hadn’t set my hopes so high, I wouldn’t have fallen so hard. I wish I could take it back.

Unfortunately, time was something beyond control of man.

It was one fateful day, later that we met again.

“I made a mistake… I’m sorry.” She said with a tone of remorse.

I knew she was lying. Not just to me, but herself. There was no mistake.

This time, it was my turn to speak.

“You know,” I took in a deep breath. “The hardest thing about realizing that you didn’t love me… is that you spent so much time pretending that you did.”

She looked stunned. As if stuck by a sudden epiphany.

I brushed past her just as she did. No pain. No tears.

It was over.

================

I decided to repost this.... I added a little more detail to it and fixed some stuff. 

Anways... Until next time..

~Rainey