Of all the places Jessica could possibly choose for a meet up, the one place she has to choose is her car. And not just any car, but her own car. It’s as if she wants to rub further salt into the fresh wound.

“Meeting up in a car, especially my car, isn’t a good idea,” Taeyeon says as Jessica slides into the passenger seat.

“That’s because it was tactless of you to get caught.”

“ you,” Taeyeon says as Jessica closes the door and smirks as she crosses her arms in front of her chest. “Seriously, you.”

“I appreciate the sentiment and the cussing. The feeling’s mutual by the way; I’d like to you back.”

“Stop twisting my words!” Taeyeon says, running a frustrated hand through her hair. Jessica clicks her tongue and raises her eyebrows, her eyes shining with amusement and pleasure.

“Not my fault you say things that can have multiple meanings,” Jessica answers, moving a cold hand up Taeyeon’s thigh to ridicule her further. Taeyeon swats her hand away before she can reach her intended destination, ignoring the look of surprise on Jessica’s face that disappears just as quickly as it shows.

“You’re insufferable.”

“And you’re incorrigible.”

Taeyeon pinches her nose bridge and closes her eyes to stop herself from saying any further insults, even though all she wants to do is shake Jessica’s shoulders and scream in her face. When she reopens her eyes, she averts her gaze from Jessica’s piercing stare and fixates her view on the empty parking lot around them.

“Hurry up so we can get this over and done with.”

“My my, you’re in a hurry to end the conversation.”

“Is that all you’re going to say?”

“No. That’s too short of a conversation to have with you, but you’re an impatient little brat so I might as well get on with it. I’m sure you know why I’m here,” Jessica says, checking her fingernails and sighing when she inspects the chipped paint. She’ll have to pay a visit to the nail salon soon.

“I got that from your texts,” Taeyeon says, still refusing to look in her direction. Jessica chuckles to herself and leans over the center console.

“I know. I just need to tell you face to face that we can’t see each other like this anymore.”

“Point taken. Was there anything else you wanted to say?”

“Why are you acting like you don’t care?

Taeyeon finally looks at Jessica and laughs. Unlike Taeyeon’s signature laughs, the sound coming from is so foreign and unrecognisable that Jessica recoils and stares at her wide-eyed as she looks at Jessica with a cold expression on her face.

“If I remember correctly, you told me that you weren’t seeing anyone else. I believed you until I discovered it was a lie. It doesn’t matter if it’s for your reputation or your brand; it still counts as seeing someone else. You also told me that we’d work things out together. You’re the one who sent those texts wanting to end it all and here we are, ending our relationship or whatever you would call us. You can’t even tell me one truth. So tell me, why should I care now?”

Jessica falls silent at Taeyeon’s outburst, knowing every stinging word of hers rings true. She watches as Taeyeon reaches for her seatbelt and grasps onto the first thought of hers that pops into her mind.

“I still care about you. In another life, you’d be mine and I’d be yours.”

She observes Taeyeon chuckle sadly to herself and put on her seatbelt. Taeyeon reaches for her keys and turns on the ignition to start the car.

“I wish you well,” Taeyeon whispers defeatedly, her eyes closing as she tightly grips onto her steering wheel.

Jessica lets that statement hang in the air, ducking her head out of the door and leaving Taeyeon inside the car alone.

It doesn’t surprise Taeyeon when she’s playing games on her phone and she receives an incoming call from the one person she swore she’d delete from her contact list.

(She never ended up removing her from her contacts.)

Taeyeon’s thumb hovers over the answer icon but she waits, breathing deeply when the phone turns silent and she receives a notification informing her that the incoming call is now a missed call. She only has a couple of seconds to gather her thoughts when her phone flashes again and Jessica’s name appears on the screen, taunting her and tempting her to answer the call.

“What do you want?” Taeyeon says, sighing and rubbing her eyes. “Why are you calling me?”

“That’s a great way to pick up the phone,” Jessica replies sardonically, her voice low and sarcastic.

“Just get to the point.”

“Gladly. I was wondering if there was a day and time that I could come in to get my belongings.”

Right. Jessica’s items are still in her apartment, a mocking reminder that she was never hers to begin with.

Taeyeon smacks her forehead at the revelation and groans, eliciting a bubbly laugh on the other side of the line.

“Sunday afternoon around two.”

“Great. I’ll see you then.”

Jessica hangs up on Taeyeon, who removes the phone from her ear and stares at her phone screen.

“Drat,” Taeyeon says, throwing her phone to the other side of the bed when she realises her character has lost another life in her game.

Taeyeon’s in the middle of eating her jajangmyeon when she hears the buzz of the doorbell. She spins around in her stool and glances up at the monitor of the intercom. She sighs when she registers the person standing outside her door and decides to take her sweet time to rise from her comfortable seat.

Taeyeon shuffles to the door and unlocks it, rolling her eyes when Jessica raises her eyebrows and scans her up and down with a smirk.

“Just get your things and leave,” Taeyeon says, closing the door and brushing past Jessica to head off into the living room. A hand encircles her wrist and pulls her back, causing her to stumble and fall into Jessica’s arms.

“You have new tattoos,” Jessica muses, a finger reaching out to trace the rose tattoo on Taeyeon’s collarbone.

“This is fake.”

“Damn. You should make them permanent. You’re already hot but this makes you even more y.”

“Can you stop with the ually explicit jokes?”

Jessica’s mouth curves into a derisive smirk and she regards Taeyeon for a couple of seconds, her eyes flittering up and down her frame.

Taeyeon is thisclose to pushing her out of her house.

“I would but you and I both know the effects it has on the both of us,” Jessica says teasingly. She bites her lips and winks, stepping back and releasing her grip on Taeyeon’s wrist. “I’ll go pack my things now.”

Screw that, Taeyeon’s going to kick her the next chance she gets.

Taeyeon dries her hands after washing up her plates. She gasps when a pair of arms wrap around her waist and light kisses begin to trail up her exposed neck.

“Don’t,” Taeyeon says, her hands clenching into tight fists. She feels Jessica’s laugh tickle her neck as her teeth graze the sensitive spot on her neck.

“You’re not stopping me,” Jessica replies, her hands already reaching down to untie the knot on Taeyeon’s pants.

A part of Taeyeon knows what they’re doing is wrong on all levels.

It doesn’t stop her from caving in to the pleasure and pain that is Jessica.

Taeyeon wakes up some time later, taking a couple of seconds to adjust to her surroundings. She widens her eyes when she realises that she’s lying in her bedroom.

.

Taeyeon’s head turns to the side, a hand flying up to pull the blanket over her body when she recognises the woman standing in her room.

“Oh please, I’ve already seen your entire body Taeyeon. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“What did we do?”

“You and I know exactly what we did,” Jessica says, squealing in shock when Taeyeon rises from the bed and reaches forward to tightly grip onto her shoulders.

“What did we do?” Taeyeon repeats, this time a little stronger than before.

“Taeyeon.”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen!” Taeyeon says, letting go of Jessica and dropping to her knees with her head hung low. Jessica extends a hand to reach for Taeyeon but stops when she hears a soft whimper escape Taeyeon’s lips.

She’s crying.

“Taeyeon,” Jessica starts to say, flinching when Taeyeon shakes her head from side to side and moves away from her. A dull ache appears in her chest, knowing that she’s the cause of Taeyeon being this broken and repulsed by her.

“Please leave. I beg you,” Taeyeon says, her voice cracking at the end of the sentence.

Jessica nods even though Taeyeon can’t see her, and quietly leaves her alone in her bedroom.

Taeyeon hears the front door gently shut. She tugs on her hair in frustration and collapses at the end of her bed.

Damn her for believing in love.

Damn her for being a hopeless fool in love.

Damn her for still being in love with Jessica.

It shouldn’t surprise Taeyeon that they’re in the same space and it definitely shouldn’t surprise her when Jessica keeps staring over in her direction. She keeps her head low throughout the entire meeting, stealing glances every now and then and turning her head away when Jessica turns to look at her again. Taeyeon feels Jessica’s lingering gaze all over her body and tightly grips onto her pen to stop herself from staring back into her eyes.

Taeyeon stands up from her chair when the meeting is adjourned and quickly makes her way to the doors. She makes it halfway down the corridor when a hand reaches out and encircles her wrist. Taeyeon gasps when she’s pulled into a dark storeroom and she’s pressed up against the door.

She just manages to make out the person’s features when she feels a pair of arms on either side of her face, trapping her between their body and the door.

“Jessica,” Taeyeon says, softly when Jessica brushes her lips on hers.

“Taeyeon,” Jessica whispers, her hot kisses trailing along Taeyeon’s jawline and up to her ears. Taeyeon raises her arms to Jessica’s shoulders to push her away, breathing heavily when Jessica reaches the sensitive spot behind her ear near her Pisces tattoo.

“Stop,” Taeyeon says, finding her willpower fade away when Jessica’s teeth graze against her earlobe.

Decisions and regrets. Regrets and decisions.

Taeyeon was never good at stopping herself when it came to Jessica.

“My keys,” Taeyeon says, plopping down into the chair opposite Jessica and crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“What about them?” Jessica says flippantly, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she stirs her mug of coffee with the spoon in her free hand.

“Give them back to me.”

“I lost them.”

“I can’t believe you,” Taeyeon says, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration. Jessica smirks and places both her hands down on the table as she leans over and ghosts over Taeyeon’s.

“You better believe me, Taeyeon,” She says, lightly pecking Taeyeon’s lips and settling back down into her chair.

“You need to stop kissing me.”

“And you need to stop being so damn adorable and driving me wild.”

“I mean it Jessica,” Taeyeon says, her hands clenching into tight fists underneath the table. “We need to stop this.”

Jessica just looks at her with a sad smile.

“I wish I could Taeyeon. But I don’t want to.”

Taeyeon thinks she must be going insane when Jessica stands in front of her doorstep, again, with a broad grin on her face.

“I’m surprised you’re not swearing at the sight of me,” Jessica remarks as Taeyeon leans on the door and blocks her entry into her apartment.

“I would but I’m just tired of caring at this point.”

“Oh? So you do care about me,” Jessica says, leaning her face forward to tease Taeyeon.

“Is there anything else I can help you with?” Taeyeon says, raising a hand to push Jessica away from her. Jessica smirks and catches her hand, bringing her digits to her lips to nibble on Taeyeon’s index finger. The smug grin on her face widens when Taeyeon’s pupils dilate and she tries to tug her finger away from Jessica’s dangerous, seductive tongue.

“You know exactly why I’m here Taeyeon,” Jessica says, leaning forward again and stopping herself when her lips are an inch away from Taeyeon’s.

She hears Taeyeon’s breath hitch as her eyes close instinctively and she smirks in victory when Taeyeon succumbs to her feelings, again.

Taeyeon’s had enough.

One day it will stop, she thinks as she stirs her mug of coffee and scrolls through her phone. She’s interrupted by the sound of her doorbell and sighs, rising from her chair and making her way over to the door.

It really shouldn’t surprise her when Jessica stands in front of her, again.

“What are you doing here?” She says exasperatedly, crossing her arms in front of her chest to prevent Jessica from entering her home.

“You always ask me that question but I think you already know the answer,” Jessica says, tilting her head to the side with a tiny smirk on her face.

“No,” Taeyeon says, knowing that she’s lying to herself when Jessica pulls her into her arms and kisses her again, kisses her like nothing else matters in the world, kisses her like the first time.

One day it will stop, she thinks.

But not today.

The familiar question of “What are you doing here?” forms on Taeyeon’s lips but just when she starts to open , a pair of arms tug her forward. Her gasp of surprise is quietened by Jessica’s soft lips pressing up against her own as Jessica’s fingers card into her hair and lightly scratch her scalp. Taeyeon succumbs to the warm feeling in her chest as they kiss, but it quickly disappears and is replaced with one of horrible dread.

She pulls away, wiping her lips with the back of her hand.

“We can’t,” Taeyeon says, taking a couple of steps backwards to distance herself from Jessica. “You can’t keep coming back here.”

“Why not?”

“Because –”

“Taeyeon?” A soft voice calls out. They turn their heads to the sound of the voice and Taeyeon’s heart plummets when she notices the troubled expression on the woman’s face.

“Da-hye,” Taeyeon says, stepping forward and reaching for her hand.

“Was I interrupting something?” Jessica says, her tone not sorry at all. Taeyeon feels Da-hye’s fingers tighten into a fist so she lightly rubs the back of her hand to soothe her. She feels Da-hye’s fingers intertwine with hers and pull her closer to her body, as if protecting her from Jessica and claiming her at the same time.

“We are on our third date,” Taeyeon replies, noticing the brief second of shock on Jessica’s face before it’s quickly masked by one of coolness.

“A date?”

“Our third one,” Taeyeon reiterates, turning her head to the side to look up at Da-hye who keeps her eyes on Jessica.

“I see,” Jessica says. “I need to talk to Taeyeon for a few minutes.”

Da-hye and Jessica continue to stare at each other until the former sighs and turns to Taeyeon.

“I'll be waiting for you,” Da-hye says, bending down to tenderly press her lips on Taeyeon's forehead. She straightens and smirks when Jessica’s eyes narrow at the action. She squeezes Taeyeon’s hand affectionately and retreats to the dining room, leaving the two alone in the hallway.

Taeyeon stares at her form until Jessica clears and catches her attention again.

“When did you start dating again?” She says, her voice strangely sounding hurt and offended, as if she was the one who was completely innocent in this situation.

“Two weeks ago, which is also after the last time you came over.”

“You’re moving on from me,” Jessica states matter-of-factly, stepping closer to Taeyeon.

“I am. I’m trying to.”

“You can’t.”

“Jessica.”

“You can’t move on from me. You – we said we had it all,” Jessica says, her hands gripping either side of Taeyeon’s arms. Taeyeon knows there are unspoken words that Jessica wants to say that she’s holding back but she can’t allow her to make her weak again.

She can’t fall for the same tricks and lies again.

Taeyeon shakes her head and pushes Jessica’s arms away, stepping back to create some distance between them.

“You said it before. In another life, you’d be mine and I’d be yours. It’s just not this one.”

Taeyeon watches as Jessica swallows and looks at her one last time before turning on her heels and leaving her apartment.

It shouldn’t hurt, knowing that it’s the right thing to end it all.

But why is it so painful?

“She asks about you sometimes,” Sooyoung says casually one day when they’re eating dinner together. Taeyeon freezes at her words but quickly regains her composure as she reaches over to pluck a piece of beef from the grill. "She wonders if you're living well."

“She shouldn't,” Taeyeon replies, quickly downing a shot of soju and pouring herself another glass. “I’m trying to move on with my life. She should too.”

“If you’re trying to move on, then why did you and Da-hye break up?”

Taeyeon chooses not to answer, opting to slowly chew on her food. Sooyoung reaches over the table and holds her free hand, a sympathetic smile on her face.

“There’s someone that I want you to meet. I think it would be good for you to try dating again. It’s been years since you last dated.”

Taeyeon laughs and pulls her hands away, running her fingers through her hair.

“I don't know how to date anymore,” She says, her voice sounding so broken that she doesn’t recognise herself anymore.

Sooyoung drops the subject and they discuss other topics as they continue their dinner.

Taeyeon glances over at her phone when Sooyoung goes to the bathroom, her fingers hovering over Jessica’s name in her contacts.

She turns her phone upside down to stop herself from calling her.

Taeyeon sits up wide awake and alert when she hears the front door being unlocked from the outside. She grabs her umbrella lying by the side and tiptoes to her bedroom door, pulling it open and quietly hiding around the corner to strike the stranger.

She blinks and winces when the living room lights are switched on. It takes her a couple of seconds to adjust to the bright lighting but she drops her umbrella when she immediately recognises the person standing in the middle of her living room.

“Jessica.”

Jessica turns to her, a small smile on her face as she shrugs off her coat and places it on the sofa.

“Before you ask me what I’m doing here, I need to tell you something.”

“It’s late. And you have my keys.”

“I lied about losing your keys. Also, it can’t wait.”

“What could possibly not wait until daytime? What do you want to say now?” Taeyeon asks tiredly, refusing to step into the living room.

Jessica smiles at her and takes a step forward.

“In the past, I said that in another life you’d be mine and I’d be yours. You said it’s not this one.”

“What are you trying to get at?”

“Why can’t it be this one?”

“You and I both know why. You’re in a relationship with someone else. I don’t want to be that other person in your phone.”

Taeyeon blinks when Jessica releases a silvery laugh and shakes her head.

“I ended that relationship a few years ago when I found out you were seeing Da-hye. I’ve been single for a while.”

“Jessica,” Taeyeon starts to say, stopping when Jessica raises a hand in the air.

“I know I made lots of mistakes but you. You were never a mistake to me,” She says, stepping closer to Taeyeon but with enough space for Taeyeon to pull away if she wanted to. “I’d give it all up a million times just to have you in my arms again.”

Taeyeon drops her arms and leans her side against the wall. Jessica beams and reaches forward to tuck Taeyeon’s hair behind her ear, her eyes glistening with tears of happiness.

“How do I know I have all of you? How do I know you’re not lying to me again?” Taeyeon says, leaning her face into Jessica’s palm.

Jessica giggles and steps closer, her lips brushing up against Taeyeon’s.

“You always have all of me. You’re the one thing I can never lie about. I can never lie about what I feel for you.”

“So then why are you here?”

“Because I’m making things right for you, for me and for us. It just took us years to finally be together without anything holding us back and I’m not going to ruin my chances with you again.”

“Jessica,” Taeyeon says, furrowing her eyebrows when Jessica visibly shudders and cups her cheeks.

“I’m. Deeply. In. Love. With. You.” Jessica punctuates each word with a kiss, each kiss reminding Taeyeon of their first time. “I love you.”

Taeyeon smiles, raising her hands to thumb away the tears on Jessica’s cheeks.

What she used to feel was pain, knowing Jessica was never hers in the first place.

Now, she feels like she has the entire world in her arms.

“I love you too.”

A/N: I don't know what this is but I wrote this ficlet and decided to continue said ficlet. This story is inspired by Taylor Swift’s illicit affairs, but make it Taengsic angsty 😂 illicit affairs is the first song I fell in love with on Taylor’s album (and is also the only song saved on my Spotify oopsssss)

For reference, the Da-hye in this story is Heize.

You can find me on Twitter for drabbles/ficlets when I'm not writing a story or you can ask me anything on Curiouscat.