The bed was cold when you rolled over in the morning.

Had it been a dream? You were certain Jinyoung had held you close all night long, breathing words of longing into your ear. And yet, as you sat up, he was nowhere to be seen, his belongings simply waiting for their master to return.

Were you also waiting now?

Your mind was conflicted. It felt too warm, too comfortable to be back within his arms. As Jinyoung held you within the forest, you were unable to get enough of him. But as soon as he wasn’t against you, rational uncertainties crept up on you.

The Jinyoung you knew wouldn’t kill anyone.

What had led him down such a dark and twisted path? The fact that you wanted to comprehend why he was here bothered you more than you wanted to accept. It shouldn’t be something you needed to understand. You were morally against the Rebellion. You saw no need for the power-hungry force taking what didn’t belong to them. You believed of its warriors as nothing more than monsters, spewing out curse words whenever they were mentioned in conversation.

You felt the emotions spill down your cheeks as you grappled with this situation. You would never have those conversations again. Further, you were now inside the Rebellion. The need to survive made humans wicked, you thought.

As the door opened, you initially glared at the intrusion to your inner turmoil, Jinyoung pressing his lips together in a firm line. Why did he just accept your response? Was his guilt that overwhelming that whatever you did, he would deal with it without any complaint?

You remembered how infuriating he could be when he didn’t possess an opinion when you could hold many.

“You are entitled to be how you please,” he said as if he had read your mind. “And you’re welcome to decline breakfast as well. However, given you didn’t eat yesterday, and you’re recovering from your fever, I suggest you do.”

You looked towards the wooden tray he had carried in with a single serving of porridge upon it. You glanced up at him and he smiled weakly. “I ate with the men.”

“Would they dislike it if you ate with me instead?”

“Word travels,” he replied as he scratched at the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Is my stay here causing problems for you?”

“No,” he answered too quickly and inhaled a deep breath. “No, it won’t.”

“So then can I eat with everyone else later?”

Jinyoung watched you cautiously. “Why?”

“Do you think keeping me cooped up in here is good for my mind? I spend far too long contemplating who you are and being angered at myself for considering to accept all this. I have too many questions, like how I ended up in these clothes and-”

“I didn’t look, I went by feel. And I was very quick,” Jinyoung responded, his ears turning red in the process. You stumbled to a stop over your rant and began to giggle. Jinyoung merely stared at you, mouth agape. “You find me humorous?”

“I find you puzzling. How, as a grown man are you so frightened of touching a woman’s body? Don’t you take all you can whilst on the road?”

“Where is your husband then? Why aren’t you married? I see no ring to state that you belong to someone else.”

“If I did, would I have died back there too?” you asked without thinking and watched as the hardness reappeared in his eyes. You sighed. “I could have had one.”

“I still would have taken you. I’m cold-hearted man, isn’t that right? Husband or not, I would have taken you as my own.”

“Isn’t it a good thing I’ve always been yours,” you muttered and then swallowed as you felt his sharp focus snap back to your face. Spooning a mouthful of the food into your mouth, you then choked from trying to eat too quickly.

Jinyoung handed you a glass of water and crouched before you. “Slowly, eat more slowly. It’s not going to be your only meal. I make sure my people are fed here.”

“It’s a different camp than the one you were found within,” you said and Jinyoung’s hand on your thigh gripped it momentarily.

“We need to stop talking about the past.”

“It’s all we have that links us. I’m not meant to be in this world with you otherwise and you’re meant to be dead like I was told. Dead beside my parents who hid you and-”

“What?” Jinyoung cut in, his eyes rounding. “What did you just say?”

Your expression softened as you put down your spoon, not realising he was actually clueless to the proceedings that happened after his departure.

 

“Y/N,” your father said in a hushed voice, his eyes imploring you to look up at him. You had spent the past week in bed, falling ill after the army troops dragged Jinyoung away from you, the same man before you having held you back from chasing after him any further than you had. You hadn’t wanted to see your father ever again and yet with the way he looked at you now, you grew aware of the urgency in his expression. “Take this.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a medicine that will help you sleep for two days without stirring. When I leave this room, you must take it, do you understand?”

“Whatever for?!”

“I just need you to do this without question, my child,” he pleaded, pushing the potion bottle into your hand. “Take it and hide the b