How to make a Whale Dance

 

One craved to find love, others aimed to become rich. Some wished to travel the world while some hoped for permanence. No matter where we look, the people we see have dreams. Be it small or intimidating, everyone has that child-like innocence where we still hold on to our fantasies of a wonderful life.

 

My dream was simple. I just wanted to reach my home. I called it home because that’s what my master told me, that I have a home in a faraway island and that I was free to go. I spent 7 years of my life in slavery and I was finally freed, and knowing that someone might be waiting for me made me want to live.

 

Packing with what little I have, I boarded the ship with anticipation. There were only a few passengers – understandable since that Island wasn’t exactly the vacation spot everyone would want to go. They said it was more like a highly populated place where people didn’t sleep. I was frightened after hearing that but deprivation of sleep wasn’t going to stop me from having a chance of seeing someone with the same blood as me.

 

I handed my ticket to the watcher who didn’t seem enthusiastic about letting me in. Maybe because my ticket was supplementary, meaning I had to work as a lower deck crew because my money wasn’t enough for the full price. Before letting me in, he inspected me for anything unwanted on a months of a secluded journey.

 

“You better work well, boy. You got lucky one of the captain’s people vouched for you.” said the man and all I could do was nod. I really did intend to. Hard work was the only thing that didn’t betray me since I wasn’t born with any extraordinary skills.

 

Upon laying my baggage to the side, a strong arm circled around my shoulder which made me jump. “There you are. I was beginning to wonder if my new recruit chickened out.” said the familiar person. He was the man who introduced me to the captain, the man who let me in the ship.

 

“Thank you so much for letting me in, Sir. I owe you a lot.” I said as I bowed to him as a sign of my gratitude.

 

“What was your name again? J-Jinobi? Jingoo?” he asked and I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. 

 

“It’s actually Jinwoo. Kim Jinwoo.” I formally introduced myself.

 

“Ah yes. Young boys these days have such unique names that I could no longer keep up. Anyways, you’ll be staying in that cabin along with other new recruits. Be nice, all of you will keep this ship running and I don’t want internal problems. The Captain is prickly about those things. Got it?” he asked with the sternest expression.

 

“Yes, Sir. I will do my best.” 

 

That day, I spent the whole time learning all the basics. Everything was new and I had a hard time adjusting. The bobbing and swaying of the ship made things harder that even my lunch forcefully left my stomach. I met a few people along the way but I wasn’t able to ask if they were the ones sharing a cabin with me. 

 

After a much needed dinner, I retired to my designated cabin. I was the first person to arrive. I sat down on my chosen bed and took my change of clothes out of my bag. I was sleepy after a hard day’s work but I waited for my cabin-mates to arrive but none came that night so I just slept.

 

A week has passed and I was still alone in that cabin. It was fine since I liked the privacy but it was also kind of lonely. I couldn’t really talk much during the day because I had to focus on my work so I had a lot of feelings bottled up inside, like I was isolated. 

One day, while I was scrubbing the dirty floors, the ship came to a halt and the upper deck watchers let a rope down to let a small number of people aboard. One of them was a very tall man with eyes that looks as though they were half-closed. He also seemed to be my age and seeing him wandering around like a lost greyhound made me want to help so I approached him. 

 

“Hi! I’m Kim Jinwoo from Imjado. Welcome aboard.” I said while reaching my hand for a handshake. He was a bit hesitant to reach it but he did after a brief while.

 

“I’m Lee Seunghoon from Busan.” After saying his introductions, he immediately let go of my hand and took off. He looked kind of disgusted and then I realized that I was sweaty and completely filthy from all the scrubbing I did. I immediately ran to the showers after that. 

 

I heard that the tall man was actually recruited from a really known House in Korea. He wasn’t a slave like me, so it made more sense why he reacted that way. I certainly made an ‘impression’ on him.

 

Later that night, he was introduced as one of my cabin-mates. He chose a bed opposite to mine. I wanted to open small talks but I was still so embarrassed about what happened this morning. The man was also really quiet and his expression didn’t make him look any friendlier. He was actually kind of scary that I just lied down on my bed without uttering a word. 

 

“We wake up at 5am tomorrow, right?” to my surprise, he asked and I immediately sat right up.

 

“Uh. Yes. The First Mate gathers all the crews for briefing and there are a lot of things to do in the morning.” I answered and he seemed satisfied with it.

 

“Okay. Since you are my 1 week senior, I’ll look forward for your guidance.” He said and then walked to where the lamp was placed. “I’ll be putting the light off now.”

 

“Okay. Good Night.” I said with a light-hearted feeling. Somebody actually hoped to rely on me. It was a new feeling but I liked it. I closed my eyes while looking forward to tomorrow.

 

So I did teach him everything I knew and he had no trouble with the chores. He was actually a fast learner to the point where he learned the other advance things quicker than me. He’s been here only for a few days and he has already surpassed me. Where is this Busan? Are all Busan people this skilful?  I asked myself. 

 

I felt sort of jealous but I developed an admiration for him. Maybe because the man wasn’t arrogant - he knew I was sort of slow in some aspects so he offered me help a lot of times.

 

I guided him but in the end, I relied on him. He was like a stable pillar.

 

Little by little, we got to know each other. Seunghoon appeared austere at first but he was actually a really warm person.

 

A month has passed after a new cabin-mate was introduced to us. He was younger than Seunghoon and I so he was kind of aloof towards us both. His name was Nam Taehyun. He was a skilful younger kid. So he didn’t need much of help from us.

 

A few days after the young one’s arrival, our ship was in an uproar. The three of us were confused as to what was happening. We were assigned on the lower deck, fixing the breakages and making sure no major cracks were found so we were lost with what was happening or what was coming. 

 

Seunghoon, Taehyun and I talked with the other crews in the upper deck and we found out that a really well-known new recruit was coming. It was said that he could easily pass as a higher up on the captain’s deck since he already have the skills and reputation but for some reason, he had to undergo more training. The three of us couldn’t understand why, so the well-known man’s identity made us more curious. Call it a small ship people’s inquisitiveness.

 

A really loud honk from another ship rang in the deck. We, the humble crews from the lower deck could only watch from afar as the exchange of passengers happened. Our eyes were focused at the entrance, looking for a dissatisfied-looking man. 

 

All of the new passengers had already boarded but no man fit the criteria. Rather, there was only one man on the new exchange. It was a skinny young noy with an air of confidence. The three of us looked at each other and agreed that maybe it was him. He didn’t look that special, he was just a boy like the rest of us. 

 

That day, I took extra lessons and finished later than the rest of the recruits. I kept messing up a certain knotting and I didn’t want to trouble the others so I decided to practice more. I ended up returning to the cabin later than everyone.

 

Upon opening our creaky door, a certain man that wasn’t supposed to be in our dark cabin was standing right in front me. It was the well-known one. 

 

I thought I got too tired and entered the wrong room but beside him was Seunghoon and Taehyun, and those grey robes on the bed, those were definitely mine.

 

“Brother Jinwoo, this is Kang Seungyoon. He’ll be staying in our cabin starting tonight.” Said Seunghoon as if introducing someone he has already known for a while. “We came from the same hometown.” He added. That explained why they were already acting like acquaintances. 

 

“Nice to meet you. I am Kang Seungyoon from Busan. I hope we can get along.” And to my surprise, he bowed. HE BOWED to me. 

 

“No. No please. Don’t bow to me. I am just a slave.” I said trying to get him to stand straight.

 

“But you are older than me, and you are in this ship, so you cannot possibly be a slave.” He said like he was stating a fact, and he was right. I was no longer a slave because I was freed by my master. I am a man of free will, but seeing someone so reputable humbling himself to me was a very odd feeling. “Please don’t treat me like I’m someone special. I purposefully chose to train again so I can learn more. I need all the help I can gather so I’ll be able to grow.” With the most sincere expression, he bowed again to me and when he lifted his head, he smiled. I didn’t know why but it made my heart flutter. It’s the same feeling you get when a really adorable child smiled at you after you gave them some sweets.

 

“O-Okay. I understand.” I said, mentally slapping myself not to stutter in front of him.

 

The four of us talked for a while about our pasts before succumbing to the night. This journey made me realize that we really shouldn’t judge people based on what we hear from others. Seungyoon was a really humble kid and his mindset made me root for him. I know he’ll be a really great person in the future.

 

When we got to work in the morning, as expected of someone from Busan, he was already a pro at everything. There must be something in Busan’s air. I made an agreement with myself to visit it someday. Maybe I’ll gain some skills or even just a bit of confidence. 

 

We spent a few more weeks in the middle of the sea with nothing but horizon on sight. The cabin was getting cramped but I didn’t mind. It made me the journey fun. Having three other dreamers around you will constantly remind you to keep going – that everyone has their own timeframes and that dreams should not be like a finish line where people must compete. 

 

On a quiet night, the four of us were just casually talked about our plans once we get to the Island when the First Mate loudly knocked on our cabin door as if a storm came. I scurried and opened it as fast as I could. The First Mate’s nerve-racking presence came to view that I felt my knees shake.

 

Since it was already cramped, the First Mate didn’t enter and just pushed the young man beside him inside. “You have a new cabin-mate. Play nice, he has more experience than any of you. Lights out in two hours.” After giving us a warning, he left as quickly as he arrived. 

 

The four of us were confused but the unfamiliar face in front of us was even more so. I realized that he might have been scared by our ogling eyes so I invited him to sit with us on the floor. After laying his bag to the side, Taehyun and I scooted over to give him some space.

 

“I’m sorry for troubling all of you in the middle of the night. Unfortunate things happened to my previous ship so I arrived at an inconvenient time. I’m Song Minho. My hometown is Yong-in but I haven’t been home for a while.” He said. His voice was unstable and he kept wiping his nose. He must have been sick.

 

“You look unwell. Here, wrap yourself in blanket.” offered Seungyoon and Minho accepted. The new man smiled at the four us but it didn’t reach his eyes. He was tired, not physically but something else far more concerning. After introducing ourselves to the new man, we’ve decided to call it a night and rest.

 

 

“Mino, it’s almost 5am. You need to wake up.” I said while tapping his shoulder. We just knew each other last night and I really didn’t want to be the one who cuts his rest but I also didn’t want him to get in trouble in his first day.

 

“You better hurry. The Captain is really strict.” warned Seunghoon and got out of the cabin.  Mino lazily got up and prepared himself for the morning. 

 

“I’ll get going now. Everything you need is in that table over there.” I said while pointing his stuff and proceeded outside for the morning call. Maybe the man was just in need of some rest that’s why he overslept, I thought to myself. Mino came almost late but he managed to sneak in at the back and not get reprimanded. Maybe that’s what the First Mate meant when he said ‘experienced’. 

 

Mino was already good at everything. In fact, all of my cabin-mates were all excellent. They often got compliments from the Upper Deck crews. I’m happy for them but it made me feel sorry for myself. I have never once received a compliment for my skills and it made me feel smaller than a tiny fish in a middle of a vast ocean. 

 

I often stayed later than everyone else. I wanted to practice more and do more. Maybe that way, I’ll finally get recognized.

 

I was in the middle of tidying up the ropes when I felt a really menacing aura behind me. It was 10 folds than what Seunghoon used to give in his first day. I turned around and saw the Captain himself looking down at me. I immediately bowed to him.

 

“It’s late. Why are you still working?” the Captain asked.

 

“I’m trying to learn more so I extended a few hours, Captain.” I answered briefly and straight to the point. 

 

“Hmm. Working really hard, eh? But that doesn’t really matter. Even if you work the whole day and night and still won’t get good results, it’s really just a waste of energy and time. Results are everything. Retire to your cabin now.” He said and brushed me off like that.

 

My head was still facing the ground when I heard his door closed and I was glad I didn’t lift it up. I let my tears fall to the floor and sobbed silently. I stayed in that position longer than needed.

 

When I returned to my cabin, all of the younger kids were already sleeping soundly. I quietly walked to bed while carrying my small lamp, making sure not to disturb their well-deserved rests. I took out a knife from my bag, made sure it was sharp enough before I started carving the captain’s name on a piece of wood. 

 

“Screw you and your standards. You have gotten far with your life but I assure that’s the farthest you can get. Your personality stinks.” I muttered to myself while carving that wretched name. I called it my Death wood. “You’ll get eaten by sharks soon.” Satisfied by my ‘masterpiece’, I hid the wood under my bed. 

 

I plumped to my bed, still crying like I wasn’t a full grown man. What that ugly man said really hurt me. I know results are a very important thing but the journey to it is not a waste. There’s always something to learn. Mistakes make you grow and growth will make you a better person. Everybody wants to succeed, but not everyone tries their best. I may not be the most skilful lower deck crew but I know my lapses and I worked really hard on improving it.

 

Someday, I’ll succeed and I’ll lift people up instead of belittling their struggles. I will never ever be like that ugly man.  

 

Morning came and the younger ones asked why my eyes were swollen. I just said that a handful of termite dust fell to my face. I didn’t want them to know about my insecurities. I was the eldest, and I didn’t want to appear weak in front of them. All of them believed the story except for Mino. I wasn’t sure if he knew what happened but I caught him looking at me with worried eyes a couple times. When I asked what’s been bothering him, he just smiled and complimented me out of nowhere, saying that I’m really handsome and whatnot. I was really shocked that it made me laugh for a good of 5 minutes.

 

After that, whenever I approach him or the group to make small talks, he would always find a way to insert a compliment that I eventually got used to it. I guess he was the type who likes to give random compliments, and I have to admit that I liked it. It made me feel good.

A few months have passed and our destination was nearing. I honestly lost track of the days and just waited until an Island is finally on site. Whenever I was told to deliver something to the Upper Deck, I would let my eyes roam around but all I could see were waters and horizons. Maybe tomorrow.

 

Today was the Captain’s birthday and there was a big feast on the upper deck. Music resonated the thin walls of the ship and everyone even the ship rats partied along. The jovial event ended late at night so captain declared tomorrow as a rest day. Of course lower deck crews like us would still work but the First Mate won’t be around to keep beating us with insults. We also didn’t have to do the morning call. We just needed to check for repairs and maintain the stability of the ship so the five of us slept with a lighter feeling. 

 

 

  Before the sun was peeked thru our cabin window, Seunghoon and I were already awake. I guessed our bodies were already used to waking up really early. 

 

“It’s a nice feeling, waking up with no pressure.” He uttered and I agreed with a small chuckle.

 

“The weather’s really nice today.” I said while looking at the window. The swaying of the boat was as gentle as a mother’s lullaby.

 

“Is it morning already?” asked Taehyun who immediately got up and drank some water.

 

“Hey, Taehyun-ah. Why are you up?” Seungyoon who heard the water pouring from Taehyun’s glass also got up and rubbed his eyes.

 

“You bunch really have to talk so loud, huh?” said Mino who was still half asleep and curled up in his bed.

 

“Sorry. We were just talking about how nice the weather was.” I said. 

 

“Now that you mentioned it, it is. It feels kind of strange. The time I arrived, we spent almost every day fixing wholes from frequent storms.” said Seungyoon. He was right. Our journey wasn’t a smooth one, so this gentle dawn was like a reward - an unusual reward.

 

“Why don’t we have our breakfast outside? I’m sure everyone is still asleep, no one would notice.” suggested Seunghoon, and just like that, the four of us sneaked out while half dragging Mino.

Seunghoon was brewing our coffee while I was slicing the bread. The younger ones were just gawking at the growing sunrise. I couldn’t blame them; everything that’s happening right now is really strange.

 

“Get your coffee while it’s hot.” Seunghoon said while handing everyone their mugs full of the freshly brewed coffee. The aroma filled the air and I couldn’t help but smile at how refreshing it was mixed together with the morning breeze.

 

The Sky was now a beautiful gradient of blue, green and orange. It was picturesque. The soft swaying of the boat in which I normally wasn’t fond of made the new experience more unreal.

 

This was the first restful morning we had together and I’ll be sure to remember it forever. 

 

“I think it’s time you guys should hear my story.” said Mino in the middle of the silence. All of us turned to look at him. “I was actually a Second Mate before. Yes, at such a young age, I managed to get that position. But our ship faced a really hideous storm. It got wrecked.” His confession made us hold our breaths. “We lost a lot of people and it really broke me.”

 

All of us couldn’t utter anything. I couldn’t imagine what it must have been like. I have been a slave for many years but I wasn’t forced to do anything painful. I just ran around errands and deliveries. Yes, he achieved something so big at a young age but he also felt so much anguish. No wonder he looked exhausted when he arrived

 

“I lost everything after that incident so I am now nothing.” just when Mino was about to look down, Seungyoon put his hand on his shoulder as a sign of comfort. 

“I’m sorry you had to experience all of that, Mino but you are not nothing. You did great things and an unfortunate event will never change it.” the well-known man really knew what to say. 

 

“Exactly. You are still that great second mate.” Taehyun added.

 

“You just need to get back up from the fall, and though the four of us aren’t much, we are here to help you walk again.” I gathered up my courage and talked. I wasn’t really good with words but I hope it made him feel a bit better.

 

“What do you mean you guys aren’t much? You bunch are like the comfiest shoes I have ever worn.” He replied while pointing to his feet.

 

“Eh. What sort of comparison is that?” Seunghoon jokingly asked. 

 

“But seriously, thank you. Let’s not lose each other, okay?” Mino said with the softest look in his eyes but suddenly cringed “That was the cheesiest thing I’ve ever said. Don’t go telling people I said that.” All of us laughed when we realized that it was certainly very cheesy. 

 

Some people might think that men shouldn’t have these kinds of conversations since it’s not masculine but I think everyone should openly share their feelings to people, be it men or women. Talking to people you find comfortable with always helps, and I am thankful that I’m one of the people whom Mino trusted.

 

Just when our laughter died down, we saw a big blow of white water which made us run to the nearest end of the deck.

 

“A whale!” all of us shouted at the same time. It was close to our ship so all of us could see its tail when it surfaced. 

 

“It’s so beautiful!” I exclaimed and the whale jumped which shocked all of us. 

 

All five of us cheered and the whale kept jumping and blowing water as if it was performing for us. The louder we shouted for it, the more it was encouraged to dance - truly, a spectacle to behold. 

“You know, Big Brother Jinwoo. You remind me of a whale.” said Mino out of nowhere.

 

“Why?” I asked, confused. He didn’t answer me, but instead, he shouted so loud which made the whale jump higher than ever before. It was such an unexpected moment that all of us were stunned for a while with our mouths open. It was the last stunt before the whale swam further as if following the sun and we gave it one last round of applause before it disappeared from our sights.

 

“Holy dung. This day couldn’t get any better than this.” Taehyun said out of astonishment.

 

“Look ahead and say that again.” Said Seunghoon with a cheeky tone and extended his arm to point at somewhere. All of us looked and when I saw what he meant, my heart started racing. There it was - the destination of five completely different people with different histories.

 

It was the Island. It was my home.

 

I heard the young ones gasped in awe so I turned to look at them and the sight of them smiling made me realize that I have been home all along.

 

 

 

- END -