13. I LOVE HIM EVEN SO.

"I...have a question." I hear myself saying, my eyes flashing over with a placid sort of anger, one that thrums through my body. My fingers shake a little as I lean to the side, placing my weight on the edge of the marble countertop beside me. "We haven't gotten to know each other well, but despite this, do you think...that I'm a good person?"

The restaurant lighting is dim, and it sets everything in an orange glow. My voice wasn't as assertive as I had wanted it to be—the music playing from the speakers drowns it out a little.

Soojin looks at me then, with a sort of forlorn pity that stirs the irritation underneath my unassuming expression. Years of working business had taught me much, but my faltering self-control was beyond questioning right now.

"Of course I do—" she starts, eyes wide as I shake my head.

"Soojin, you're wrong. I'm not a good person." I interject, exhaling lightly. "A good person would have left Jungkook the moment it was clear there was someone else."

"But—"

"Jeon Jungkook." I state Jungkook's name rigidly. "Who is he?"

"He's someone I admire." Soojin counters bravely. "He's the son of the Jeon family—the man I grew up with and who cares for me."

That's when I rise from the slant in my stance, facing her with blood rushing through my ears. "Understand this, Soojin..." I breathe in quietly. "He's not only someone you admire. He's not just the son of the Jeon family, the man you grew up with and who cares for you. He's also Jeon Jungkook, the man who is my future husband, and you need to remember that."

I leave her with this, because there isn't much else I can say. I'm okay with being the selfish one, as long as Jungkook can forgive me.

He is Jeon Jungkook, and I love him.

—

When I finally drive to the airport at the end of the week, it's not for Seulgi. As it turns out, Jimin had taken her hostage the moment her plane had docked at the gate, and consequently, for the first time in my life—I'd missed the party. The rest of my week was spent slaving at the office all day, as my calls to Seulgi were always cut short by Jimin's tempered impatience, and I had found it awkward to speak with Ms. Seo after my encounter with her daughter, so much that I inclined not to return home at all until Jungkook was back. After work, I spent a great deal of my free time trying to dissolve the perplexity that plagued me by the absence of my two best friends, though at the end of it all I knew nothing except the fact that Seulgi was surprisingly okay with it.

"I'm fine, Yerim." she'd insisted to me through various phone calls, seeming unusually chipper. "Jimin and I are simply engaging in friendly competition."

As to what that competition was, I was given no explicit details. The most I'd gotten through pestering either of the two was a few lines about "writer's block" and "inspiration through experience"—what that meant for two pining exes in enclosed spaces with each other, I had little idea.

"At least let me see her once this week, will you?" I demand when Jimin picks up his twenty-second phone call from me in the span of five days.

I glare at my phone screen as Jimin's grunt of dissent echoes in my ear.

"I told you Yerim, we're busy." he spits out ungraciously, "And God, I can barely even hear you right now. It's so noisy—are you at a bar or something?"

"I'm at the airport to pick up Jungkook." I tell him, adding scathingly: "Mind you, if you also happen to kidnap my fiancé, I'm calling the police."

It should be noted, perhaps with amusement, that my choice to greet Jungkook at the airport was actually not of my own compulsion. Just yesterday, I received a call from Secretary Yoon, who, after noting to me that Jungkook was well and elaborating on some of his recent activities—I came to find that Secretary Yoon was very good at giving detailed reports on Jungkook's every move and whereabouts—asked me if I had recently contacted Jungkook at all.

"Miss Kim, is it possible that in the past few days, you have not reached out to Mr. Jeon at all?"

It was then that I had checked my messages and my call history, replying honestly that I had been so preoccupied with my own work among other things, and that Jungkook usually did not like it when others bothered him during work, so I had elected to avoid doing so.

Secretary Yoon responded with a perplexed laugh. "But Miss Kim, it seems that your lack of bothering has had the opposite effect." he coughed lightly, "Just yesterday, after a meeting, Mr. Jeon asked me if you were busy recently. I responded that likely, with the wedding approaching soon and the preparations to be made, you were quite invested in planning matters with your family and your in-laws, thereby you were extremely busy. Mr. Jeon simply shook his head, saying that it's possible you have forgotten him and the wedding altogether..."

I choked out an awkward laugh of my own. "Secretary Yoon, I promise I haven't forgotten the matter at all. I truly just didn't want to bother him at work."

After a short pause, Secretary Yoon lowered his voice to a near whisper. "Mr. Jeon is heading this way. Miss Kim, our plane lands tomorrow at seven."

I had immediately understood the use of such information. Thus, I had arrived at the airport's VIP arrival lounge about five minutes ago, awaiting Jungkook's presence.

Seulgi doesn't like airports much. As a writer, she often says that leaving someone, something behind has its own beauty, and an airport's fashion of sending people off and leaving with such apathy and blank faces makes it an unromantic place. I was thinking of this when I finally heard footsteps outside, Secretary Yoon's voice reaching my ear.

"There have been some questionable circumstances in the last few patients of the trial. They're working now to pinpoint the reason—they know they should not send a finished report until protocol has been completed regarding this matter." Secretary Yoon says.

When I hear Jungkook's voice reply, my heart thuds solidly in my chest. "They're too slow." he comments, in his usual brisk tone.

Secretary Yoon sighs. "They're doing the best they can..."

The conversation ends when I stand from my seat. Jungkook's gaze meets mine, surprise spread over his handsome features.

I realize, then, that when you miss someone, your heart becomes smaller and smaller until you can only fit the shadow of the person you wish to see. How could Seulgi say that airports weren't romantic? Yesterday, Jungkook and I were separated by the sea. Today, he's standing in front of me, and I can finally see him with my own two eyes, touch him with my own two hands—there's nothing more romantic than this.

I walk forward, and my hands reach out with the intent of wrapping around his waist.

I stop myself in the last second, remembering that Jungkook didn't like to be shown affection in public. Instead, I pat his shoulder lightly, albeit a bit awkwardly, dusting off the edge before smiling up at him politely. "Shocked to see me?" I ask, "I came to take you home. I'm a good wife-to-be, aren't I?"

Jungkook looks down at me strangely before nodding to Secretary Yoon, allowing him to leave. I barely have time to register when Jungkook takes my hand lightly from my side and threads his fingers through mine. "Let's go home, then." he says, walking forward before I can even protest.

I scamper to keep up with him, feeling a jolting sensation in my arm from our hands swaying at our sides.

"Are you busy these days?" Jungkook asks me questions as we walk. "Jimin tells me that your roommate hasn't found the time to visit you yet. Seo yimo says you're barely home."

I nod. "A-ah, yes, I've been working a lot." I stammer a bit, thankful that Jungkook's gaze was focused ahead and not at me. I didn't quite want to mention my encounter with Soojin and my avoidance of Ms. Seo to him, mostly because I didn't want to worry him or annoy him with these things.

"Then, how come you have time to come pick me up today?" Jungkook inquires, stifling a laugh as my face falls blank.

I pull out my car keys as we walk into the parking garage. "Because I watched a drama once, where the female lead went to pick up her boyfriend from the airport after not seeing him for two months. It turned out that her boyfriend had gotten amnesia while overseas, and brought home a new American girlfriend with him on his flight." I reason, unlocking the car so Jungkook can place his suitcase in the trunk. "Although the chances of you losing your memory isn't high, what if stepping out of the house for some time has shown you a new way about life, so much that you've found a better woman to marry while in Japan, and even brought her back? And then what would I do? I might as well show up in my best outfit and makeup, that way you might reconsider me."

I've missed you, Jeon Jungkook. That's what you want to hear, right?

Jungkook sits into the passenger seat beside me before I pull out of the parking space. "Outer beauty isn't enough to make me change my mind, Kim Yerim." he chuckles quietly, "You'll have to think of other ways to turn me around."

"Then I'm screwed." I snort as I rap my fingers on the wheel, "Other than my beauty, I can't say there's much else about me that is better than others. My temper is also subpar."

Jungkook grins. "It's no rush. Think about it slowly."

"Think about my good traits slowly?" I ask.

"No, think about how to win me over slowly." he replies haughtily, clearly entertained.

"Dr. Jeon, do you believe me when I say I'll throw you to the curb right now?" I threaten, none too mercifully.

"You look pretty today." Jungkook wheezes in a valiant effort of self-preservation.

I struggle to maintain a straight face as I drive. "Flattery isn't going to work on me." I lie, successfully keeping a serious expression despite my innards making somersaults.

He leans back his head and closes his eyes, lips curving upwards as he shakes his head slowly. "Yerim, today in the waiting lounge, you seemed a bit distant with me."

I think of the embrace that I'd rescinded at the last second, stubbornly feigning innocence. "Was I?"

"Right now you seem normal." he notes to me, eyes still closed. He rests as I weave through traffic with utmost focus, and it isn't until I pull into the driveway before he speaks again. "Yerim, you're allowed to do what you want with me. You're the most important person in my life right now, you know that right?"

I park the car, turning to stare him in the eye. Outside the car window, the nightscape of Seoul's chilly autumn continues, but my chest fills with warmth.

Seulgi thinks that agreeing to marry Jungkook is easily the greatest loss I've achieved in a business deal to date, but I don't think the same, at least not now.

"I can do what I want with you?" I bat my eyelashes deceivingly, "Including throwing you to the curb?"

Jungkook leans forward and weaves his fingers through the hair near my neck, guiding my face towards his. "Everything except that." he murmurs, before his lips claim his stake.

He isn't gentle this time as his teeth nip at my lower lip, his tongue assertive as it slips through my parted lips and renders my mind blank. I feel a feverishness run chills down my body as my fingers grip the seatbelt still lingering in my hands.

"Yah..." I moan weakly as my lungs heave and my legs shake, "You're lucky my windows are tinted..."

Jungkook laughs, kissing my brow softly in response. "I'm also lucky to have you."

—

It's probably true that every relationship goes through a multitude of hardships regardless of premise. Before marriage, there are usually less hardships, because there's less to argue about. Seulgi says it's to make up for the fact that the worst of it usually comes after, and I suppose she's right in some ways, but maybe she isn't completely correct.

Jungkook—that night, when you explained to me your views on marriage, you said that marriage was a contract. At the time, I may have acted like I agreed, because I didn't really care if it was a contract or if it wasn't a contract. You said that you can't give me love, but everything else, the responsibilities of a marriage, you could fulfill. You couldn't have known that the most important responsibility in a marriage is giving me yourself.

A few years later, maybe, when you truly understand love, you might tell me you regret that I wasn't happy like other women are when you proposed, because it was under that contract.

But I will tell you that because you were giving yourself to me, I couldn't have been happier.