Seulgi didn't mean it.

It was a thought that came out, a product of too much thinking (or lack thereof). A slip of the tongue, and she definitely didn't plan on saying it nor expected Joy to take it seriously... so now she had to face the consequences.

Not that she's complaining, being kissed before going to school was probably the only thing that makes her want to get up in the morning. Don't get her wrong though, she loves school. As an art student, she appreciates every lesson (as she should, because they certainly are expensive), it's just that sometimes her professors can be a bit... uptight. And working under pressure isn't her strongest suit.

“Unnie...”

“Oh?” Seulgi absent-mindedly scratched her head, left hand buried deep in her coat pocket. Loud cracking noises emanated from the fabric and Joy had to pull her hand out.

“Stop cracking your knuckles,” Joy pointed out as she intertwines their fingers together. If it was her Joohyun unnie, Seulgi would've stopped instantly, her senior's reprimanding stares were enough to burn a whole city or frost it. But just like what old people say, everyone has a soft spot.

Joohyun’s weakness just happened to be somewan charmingly short and who sings really well.

Seulgi chuckled to herself, mentally tapping her shoulder for such a quick and witty pun.

Ah, those two.

“Unnie, are you laughing at me?” Joy let her hand go and stopped walking. Seulgi stopped too, her eyes opened comically under her unkempt bangs.

“No, I was laughing at someone else,” she explained, giggling.

Joy raised her eyebrow, hands situated on her hips. A dangerous stance as Seulgi witnessed the last few years they've known each other, “Oh, so you're thinking about someone else when I'm here?”

“Uhm... yes?”

“You're unbelievable.”

Seulgi could see how much the taller girl refuses to stomp her foot, because the last time she did it, Seulgi had call her childish and Joy didn't take it too well. It was three days without talking (a childish act, indeed).

“Hey, where are you going?” Seulgi sighs as Joy walks away.

Joy put her hand up, waved it nonchalantly without turning back, “School.”

“Sooyoung, you're going the wrong way,” Seulgi pointed out and Joy stopped, she glared at Seulgi and marched back towards her. Seulgi fought the urge to smile as Joy made her serious face, blatantly ignoring Seulgi’s eyesmile.

Joy’s pout was growing prominent and Seulgi couldn’t help herself with the words that come out.

“Where's my kiss?”

She felt her cheeks heat up saying it loud, it's been a week since Joy had been sneaking in kisses when Seulgi wasn't looking. It's also been a week since her camera got broken because she lent it to Joy. It's also been a week since that time they were sitting on Seulgi's living room that Joy went over the dramatics of Unnie, I'm a high school student or Unnie, I don't have any money, even going as far as What if I get a job?

To which Seulgi replied with, it's not really big deal, I could just replace it, you know, (a straight-up lie, she's been struggling with money and her tuition fees aren't helping).

“What should I pay you?”

“There's no need.”

Joy stood up from being sprawled on Seulgi's floor and walks around the apartment, hands picking up discarded clothes, because as you can see, Seulgi isn't much of a cleaner.

“I could clean your apartment?”

Seulgi reached for the cold pizza on the table and munch on it without much of a regard of the hot sauce spilling all over, Joy saw this and grimaced.

“My apartment's clean,” Seulgi stated as if saying an obvious fact.

Joy rolled her eyes, “Tell that to your loaded sink.”

Seulgi her thumbs and smacked her lips, eyes staring onto space, a dumb gesture if you asked Joy, but also heart-fluttering, though she would never admit that.

“You could give me kisses,” Seulgi murmured, eyes trained on the television. It's like she didn't really paid attention to her words and before she could process the weight of it all, Joy already had a comeback.

“Really?”

A flush crept on Seulgi's neck, “Sooyoung, it was a joke—”

“Five thousand,” Joy grinned.

If there's math involved, Seulgi's mind would short-circuit. So she turned to the taller girl with a confused look, “Huh?”

“Five thousand kisses for your broken camera,” Joy said proudly, “Dock two kisses when it's a cheek kiss, five when it's on your forehead, neck kisses is twenty, though I doubt we'll go that far—” the last sentence was more of Joy talking to herself but it made Seulgi choke on air nonetheless.

Joy went on with her ramble while Seulgi tries to calm herself. Sure, she likes Joy. From the two years she had known the younger girl, all she does was annoy Seulgi, push her to do things she never thought she could do—one of them was going to art college and oh, singing and dancing— and she's grateful for that, really, she is.

Joy's excessive talking and borderline insulting remarks had grown on Seulgi. Sometimes she wonders when all of that began being soft and endearing other than burdensome and offensive. The gradual change was startling, because one day Seulgi just came up with the realization that Joy's no longer that girl.

The one who cried at a playground after a particularly messy break up with a guy named Sungjae (Seulgi happened to be drawing at that time when the auburn-haired girl's sobs caught her ear). The one who insulted Seulgi's fashion sense as she was wearing an oddly coordinated outfit of brown, saying she looks like a bread (only later Seulgi will then realize that she did look like a bread), they became friends after that.

But Seulgi's not so sure about that anymore.

It's like one day everything just popped right in her face and when it did, she finally noticed Joy. How her smiles would inevitably warm her stomach when she visits. How her eyes—the in-between of light and deep shade of brown—would flutter in Seulgi's night light during one of their sleep overs. Don't even get her started with Joy's laugh, head thrown back, eyes crinkling, it was... it was breathtaking.

And Seulgi would look away.

Because she knows.

She knows she's not allowed to look at her like that.

“...real kisses are worth one hundred, hand kisses should be free and oh, I could kiss you whenever,” Joy continued her monologue. The idea almost warping with her, as if it was some kind of achievement creating such absurd currency.

Seulgi wanted to explain that that's not how it works, that Joy doesn't get to make demands when she's the one at fault in the first place. That her camera won't be fixed with kisses... but it's Joy.

And when did she ever say no to Joy?

Seulgi spied her camera sitting sadly on the corner and looked at Joy who's currently smiling brightly at her.

“Come on, Unnie...” Joy slumped on the couch with her, “it's not like you have someone anyways.”

Seulgi flinched at the sudden attack on her love life, it was because of you, babo, she wanted to say. She has been contemplating inside her head, mouth slightly hanging as if lost in thought when she felt something soft on her cheek.

“How about that?” Joy asks, feigning innocence. Her whisper almost sends Seulgi in an epileptic episode, “Now, it's four thousand, nine-hundred, and ninety-eight.” Then Joy walks off, bid her goodbye as if nothing happened.

Leaving a stunned Seulgi, cheeks burning due to hot sauce and absolutely not because of Joy's chaste kiss.

No, absolutely not.

So now, here they are.

Joy looked at her incredulously. For a week it has been Joy who always insists for kisses and well, Seulgi would normally complain about it, pretend to ward off Joy when in fact, she loves it. She really does.

And now, she has been so used to it that she doesn't think she could go and face the art community and her obnoxiously rich snobs of a classmate without being energized by Joy's soft kisses.

That didn't make any sense.

But the point is, she wants to kiss Joy.

“Huh?” Joys asks.

“I said, where's my kiss...” Seulgi mumbled. Unconsciously, she began cracking her knuckles again.

“Unnie,” Joy smiled and Seulgi felt relieved that the previous argument has been resolved, “you weren't really listening earlier, were you?”

Seulgi shook her head. Her hands found a new hobby and are now playing with the lose strands on her coat pocket. Joy stepped closer that Seulgi could smell the younger girl's perfume, it’s very Sooyoung. Not so subtle that you'd overlook it, but also not very strong that you'd detest smelling it. Just the right amount of fragrance, the mellow familiarity never fails to bring Seulgi in daze.

“I got a job,” Joy beamed, her eyes practically glistening of excitement, “it doesn't pay much, but you know, it's a start. I thought I could save up finally repay you. Real money, of course.”

Oh.

Oh.

“Cool,” Seulgi smiled, eyes curling again into nothingness, “but you know, you don't have to.” She whispered.

“Stop saying nonsense, unnie. It's your camera,” Joy pouts, “besides this whole no-dangling-camera-on-my-neck aesthetic of yours is no longer cute. I'm starting to think you're going back to being a bread again.”

Seulgi didn't really mind not bringing her camera. There's a reason why she invested on the latest smartphone—even though it costs her a fortune and probably her usual fancy meal once a month, but it's worth it— so she could take pictures whenever, plus it's easier to carry.

“Well, are you just going to stand there or are you going to walk me to school?” Joy asks her when she didn't move on her spot.

“Right, sorry,” Seulgi murmured, walking in large steps to catch up with Joy. They go to different school. Joy's still in high school and Seulgi, well, she's in college. Both schools are in close proximity, and Seulgi's university comes first and her classes are much, much later than Joy's.

Once, Joy asked Seulgi why she'd bother waking up early, shrugging she said, it makes me feel productive. If productive meant spending hours on the library sleeping with mouth open (because her class starts at 11) then yes, Seulgi's been very productive.

All kidding aside, Seulgi loves sleeping, but Joy's classes starts at 7 AM... and Seulgi likes Joy. You do the math.

“Oppa!” Joy yelled and Seulgi's bubble bursted. She watches Joy run towards a skinny, too-pretty-for-his-age-boy. Seulgi didn't bother saying good bye, what’s the point? Joy’s already half way to the gate of their school, plus, her attention’s already on someone else.

She gripped her portfolio and was almost knocked off when a familiar cheshire grin nudged her, “So, confessed yet?”

“Huh?”

Yeri rolled her eyes, “When are you going to treat me to dinner?”

“What?”

“Seulgi unnie, you're cute but you're really, really dumb.”

Seulgi stared wide-eyed, “I am?”

“Yes, but don't get used to it,” Yerim yawned, “now, when are you going to treat me to dinner?”

“Why would I treat you to dinner?”

“Because I said you're cute?” Yeri laughs, she's one of Joy's friends that constantly pops up in Seulgi's life. Literally unannounced. When Joy introduced her to the younger girl, Yeri's first words were, “Joy unnie, she really does look like a bread.”

Yeri puffs some air, blowing her bangs in the process, “You're really going to let that sniveling idiot work his ways on Joy unnie?”

“Uh, I don't think it's working,” Seulgi innocently glances at Joy's direction.

“Well, duh,” Seulgi's worried that Yeri's eyes would pop off of too much rolling, “because she's into you?”

Seulgi's heartbeat caught up on that, she almost dropped her portfolio on the wet cement. Thankfully, Yeri caught it, “Careful, you don't want your sketches to go down the drain just because you gay panicked.”

“Hold on,” Seulgi raised her right hand, “she's into me?”

“Yes.”

“And you're telling me because...?”

“So you could treat me to dinner? Come on, I'd even be happy with pork's belly, though beef would be very polite,” Yerim sighed happily at the thought of food. Had the circumstances been different, Seulgi would be too.

“Are you sure or are you saying that because you just want free dinner?”

“You know what? Forget it,” Yeri walks away, groaning, dumb unnies.

Seulgi shrugged, what's up with people today that they kept walking away from her?

-----

Seulgi missed their early morning school walk today... and the other day, and the other day, and also, the other day. She’d make excuses for her deliberate attempts to avoid the Joy. She would say she's busy with her sketches, that her paintings are still half-done or she got caught up with her professor.

She had no idea why she's so scared of facing Joy. It's Yeri's fault for giving her false hopes.

“Kang Seulgi, are you listening?”

Seulgi snapped out of her thoughts and smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, unnie… what were you saying?”

“The portrait,” Joohyun sighed, “I need it in three weeks. I’m sorry if I’m rushing you, these past few days had been stressful and I just want to make it up to her.”

“You know your presence is enough, right?”

“I know that,” Joohyun chewed on the inside of her cheek, eyes twitching, “but Seungwan… Seungwan’s special okay? It’s different with her, how do I explain it, uhm—“

But Seulgi gets it. She knows how it feels.

She knows exactly how it feels because when she walked her unnie to the door and bid their goodbyes—mostly Joohyun asking her to clean her apartment—Joy was there. She’s just eighteen, yet she looks years ahead of her age. Her white top contrasts her black, a-little–too-fitting-jeans. Seulgi rarely sees Joy out of her school uniform (skirts don’t do her justice), and she’s glad it was that way because how can she focus on walking when Joy’s legs are distracting the hell out of her?

It was so unfair. She looks so good while Seulgi was just there, older and you’d assume she’d be more put together, yet she looks like a potato.

She might have been ogling for a few seconds that Joohyun leaned over and whispered, “Close your mouth, you don’t want flies in there, trust me.” Smiling at Joy before going away.

“Sooyoung…”

“Unnie!” Joy tackles her and pushes her back inside her apartment.

“Wait, hold on, Sooyoung—ow!”

“Why are you ignoring me? I text you every day! You’re ignoring my calls and I thought you like walking to school with me? And Yerim said you might be mad but then I thought, why and—“

Seulgi slumped on her couch, “No, I’m just… thinking.”

“Oh,” Joy’s voice dropped down a few decibels, “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Sooyoung!”

“What?” Joy laughs, “It’s true. We all know you can dance and sing and you’re probably the next Picasso, on top of that, you’re also cute and like really, really pretty… but you’re not very smart.”

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or insulted,” Seulgi grins her eyes doing its usual disappearance.

“…and I like you.”

“What?”

“Don’t make me repeat it,” Joy upped her chin in defiance but there’s no hiding the slight hint of red on her cheeks. Seulgi stares at her, mouth gaped open.

“You like me? As in like, like? Or just like?”

Joy rolled her eyes and chewed her lip. A nervous tick.

“Am I not allowed to say anything about that?” She asks Joy.

“Well, if you’re gonna reject me then you better just stay quiet,” Joy crossed her arms, “Oh, my God, stop smiling!”

Seulgi chuckles, “What makes you think I’m gonna reject you?”

Joy straightened up, eyes devoid of any emotion but Seulgi can see her trembling, and she knows it’s all just a front. Joy clears , “Well, for starters, I broke your camera and I’m annoying. I tend to eat all your food and I bully you every chance I get, and you’ve been ignoring me so I thought you’ve had enough. I know I’m pretty,” Seulgi scoffs at the self-absorbed statement and Joy glares at her, “but I can be too much… and you hated it when I kiss you, I mean, your loss. A lot of people would die for my kiss, but you’re just a rock. So, I got a job, you began ignoring me, and I got scared, but don’t get it all inside your head, I could replace you easily.”

“Are you done?” Seulgi smiled.

Joy exhaled, “Yes.”

“I like you too,” Seulgi mumbled shyly.

“You do?”

“Yes.”

Joy stared at the ceiling, “Huh. So, Yerim’s right.”

“We should probably treat her to dinner, no?” Seulgi smiled sheepishly while Joy scoots closer to her, and Seulgi would be lying if she said she didn’t miss that smell because she did.

“How about I pay for your broken camera now?”

Joy rummages on her small bag.

“Oh, no. I told you, there’s no need—“

Okay, maybe there is.

Joy inched forward for a kiss and Seulgi was more than happy to receive it.

Her camera might be broken but her heart surely isn’t.

Being kissed by Joy was probably one of the greatest highlights of Seulgi’s boring life. Joy tastes like marshmallow, a flavor fitting for her soft lips and God, Seulgi would gladly let her break all her essentials if it meant kissing her over and over again.

Seulgi pulled her closer, Joy pressed flushed against her and it was such a beautiful way to spend her boring Saturday afternoon.

Joy pulled away, eyes almost gleaming over Seulgi, “How was that? How much was it worth?”

Seulgi, still stuck on cloud nine nodded, eyes never leaving Joy’s mouth, “Huh?”

“Unnie, focus!”

“You kissed me! How am I supposed to focus?”

Joy laughed, “Then I guess, I’m already paid?”

“You wish,” Seulgi went in to plant a soft kiss on Joy’s cheek, “because as far as I can remember, you’re indebted to me now… forever.”

Joy pretended to be scared, clutching her chest in a slightly dramatic way, the back of her right hand strategically placed on her forehead, “Oh no, how could I ever repay you?”

“Five thousand kisses… and more,” Seulgi chuckled, hands reaching towards Joy’s.

“Sounds doable,” Joy hums, “I never really like working anyways. This face isn’t cut for wiping tables and taking orders.”

“So, when do you plan on paying again?” Seulgi asks innocently and Joy laughs, leaning for another kiss.