The loud music and shouting of the people have filled the bar. Cigarette smoke was lingering in every nook and cranny of the walls. Couples are hidden in an ill-lit hallway and lowkey pleasuring themselves not caring if some people are watching them. The dance floor is filled with craziness as the DJ of the night spin his tunes. Every people at the bar are enjoying themselves, except for the one guy who is seating alone on the stool in front of the bartender's table.

Hyukjae gulped down the last drip of his vodka. He’s been drinking nonstop since he came earlier. Trying to drown himself into oblivion. Trying to wash away the pain that had been lingering in his heart for years now.

“Kyungsoo. Fill me another one.” He said groggily to the bartender in front of him.

Kyungsoo, the bartender, looks at his regular customer with a concerned look. It was his 10th glass now, and he’s sure that he’s already drunk. 

“Hyung. I think you have enough.” He said while getting the empty glass and putting it down on the counter.

Hyukjae chuckled. He knows that he had enough drink because he was getting dizzy already and his body is becoming numb. But he didn’t plan to stop not until all the pain in his heart will go away completely. Not until he can feel even a tiny bit of pang in his shattered heart.

“Nah! I am not drunk yet. Just give me a new drink. I will pay double.” He said while slamming the table loudly.

Kyungsoo shook his head. His customer is drunk and he can’t risk giving him more alcohol as he knew what will happen next. But he still gives him a glass of new vodka, to calm him a bit. He took out his phone and started typing a message.

“Jungsoo-Hyung. Hyukjae-hyung is here again. Please pick him up before a bar fight can happen.”

After sending the message, he put it back inside his pocket and started wiping the wet clean wine glass stacked on the counter. He glanced at Hyukjae who is drinking his new glass of vodka and he sighed heavily. 

“Kyungsoo another glass please,” Hyukjae said as he shoved off the empty glass to the bartender’s direction causing it to fall on the floor and shattered.

“Enough Hyung! I won’t give you anything. You have enough.” Kyungsoo said and he crouched down to clean the shattered glass pieces on the floor.

“I want more!” Hyukjae whined. But he stopped when he felt a hand gripping his shoulder. He snapped on his right side and a grin had formed on his lips. His two brothers are there.

“Heechul-Hyung!!” Hyukjae said and he hugged the man who is gripping his shoulder “It’s good you’re here. Are you going to join me drinking?”

Heechul didn’t answer he just give Hyukjae a hardened gaze. Hyukjae noticing his other brother who’s standing beside Heechul beckoned him to come closer. His brother proceeds closer and he gives him a tight hug.

“Jungsoo-Hyung! Are you here to drink too? Join me in drinking.” Hyukjae said as he chuckled.

Jungsoo backed away but he is still holding Hyukjae’s hand.

“No. We’re here to get you. Let’s go home.” Jungsoo said while trying to pull him out of the seat.

“No!” Hyukjae said and he let go of Jungsoo’s hands. “I am not drunk yet. I need to be drunk first before I go home.”

“No! We’re going home!” He said firmly and he glanced at Kyungsoo to settle his brother’s bill.

“No! I won’t go home.” Hyukjae protested again and he looked at Kyungsoo to order again.

But Heechul grabbed his wrist without a warning. He furiously dragged him out of the bar, while Jungsoo is trailing behind them. He throws him on the street causing him to lose balance and fall on the sidewalk.

Jungsoo, seeing him falls, immediately comes to his aid and helped him to stand up.

“What’s the matter with you?!” Heechul said while narrowing his eyes at his brother. “Stop doing this Hyukjae!”

Hyukjae ear’s twitched in annoyance. He angrily charged towards Heechul and he punched his face hard giving the latter a bruise on his lips.

“Hyukjae!” Jungsoo shouted. Shocked by the sudden action of his younger brother.

“Stop!” Hyukjae growled. He angrily grabbed his brother’s collar “Don’t tell me what to do!”

“Enough!” Jungsoo said while trying to come in between his two younger brothers. “Hyukjae just stop it!”

Heechul grabbed the hands of Hyukjae in his collar and removed it harshly. He punched him on the face not caring if his face is already bruised because of the bar fight that had happened a few nights ago.

Hyukjae stumbled and lost his balance again.

Heechul looked at Hyukjae with pure detest. He understands why his brother is acting like this. Going to a bar every night, drinking until he passed out. Until he didn’t remember anything. But he had enough dealing with his drunk brother. He had enough to see his brother torturing himself every night because of the guilt. Because he refused to accept the truth, the harsh truth.

“Stop torturing yourself Hyukjae!” He shouted, “What had happened two years ago is not your damn fault!”

“Shut up!” Hyukjae shouted back. And he stood up planning to give him another blow but Jungsoo stopped him.

“Jieun is not coming back!” Heechul retorted “She’s dead! And it’s not your fault why she’s dead!”

Hyukjae froze when he heard the name he’s been trying to forget all this time. He’s trying to forget about Jieun, his supposed soon-to-be wife 2 years ago. But now she’s gone, she died, and she’s not coming back.

“So please Hyuk! Stop torturing yourself! Stop being like this! Fix your mess! Because we know that Jieun doesn’t want you to act like this!”

“I… I can’t…” Hyukjae uttered. His voice is shaky and a lump on his throat is forming. “She’s… gone… and… it’s my fault…”

And with that Hyukjae cries. The tears from his eyes are rolling down on his cheeks nonstop. He kneeled in the street while angrily punching his chest. Shouting Jieun’s name.

Jungsoo crouched down and he hugged his hurting brother. Trying to give comfort. “Hyuk, it’s not your fault. It was an accident. Stop blaming yourself.”

Hyukjae clings to his brother as his life depended on him. Trying to feel the comfort his brother is giving him, but it was not enough to heal his aching heart. It was not enough to wipe away the guilt of being a failure. It was not enough to help him to accept the truth. It was not enough to stop him from blaming himself.