“Please come home tonight, hyung. Seonghwa hyung looks like someone kicked over his plant.”

Seonghwa glanced up from his tray at San, who was giving their leader his best pleading voice, teetering closely on full out aegyo. 

“What’s it matter to you?” Hongjoong asked, wincing at how his reply sounded. San easily brushed it off. 

“Hyung isn’t eating and it’s weird. I think he’s lonely at night.”

Seonghwa looked back down at his lunch, which had gotten cold as he pushed it around on his plate. He hadn’t thought anyone would notice. “I’m fine,” he interjected. “Just not that hungry. I had a late breakfast.”

Hongjoong hummed, already halfway out of the room, heading back to his studio. San was left pouting at the eldest. “But you always eat a lot.”

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow.

“Fine,” San scoffed. “I’ll go find Young-ah. What is with everyone today...”

Seonghwa took a bite of rice as San left their break room too, his stomach immediately rolling uncomfortably. 

Truth be told, he hadn’t had breakfast either; he had woken up today feeling somewhat off and the thought of food first thing in the morning had made him just want to go back to bed. He’d hoped after morning practice that he’d get his appetite back but he found himself just moving his food around on his plate as the other members ate and left around him. 

He ended up wrapping his plate back up and putting it in the fridge before downing a glass of milk instead, at least it was something to get him through the afternoon. Sometimes that’s all they had time for anyway when their schedules were packed. 

Another comeback was just around the corner and Seonghwa was preparing with the rest of the members, putting in long days at the company filled with practices of every kind. But nothing beat the hours Hongjoong was putting in. San did have a point, Seonghwa couldn’t remember the last time Hongjoong had actually been at the dorms longer than the time it took for a quick shower and to repack his bag. And Seonghwa did miss hearing the soft clicking of keys at night, Hongjoong’s creative process lulling him to sleep. Now there was just silence and an empty bed. 

Seonghwa’s stomach churned again, and he pressed a hand to it. Just comeback nerves, right? And lack of sleep. Maybe a little bit of longing for his roommate too. At least that’s what he told himself as he headed out to the dance studio. 

 

 

The members were all sitting around in the dance room, their practice just having ended, breathing heavily and wiping the sweat from their faces. Yeosang got up and passed around some water bottles which they took gratefully. 

“I think it’s going well,” Yunho said after a minute of catching their breaths. “Another day or two and I think we’ll have it down. Then we can tackle the last song.”

Everyone nodded in agreement. 

San, ever full of energy, stood up and began doing some of the moves again as he watched himself in the mirror, and slowly everyone else rose too, gathering their things. 

However, Seonghwa was still on the floor, elbows on his knees and heading hanging down. He was focusing on the droplets of sweat that kept dropping down from his nose. 

“You okay?” Wooyoung asked quietly, a hand patting his back as he passed behind the elder. 

“Mmm..”

Wooyoung brought his hand down, holding it out to help Seonghwa stand. “Come on, let’s go.”

Seonghwa took it and pulled himself up, but what he didn’t expect was the feeling of the room tilting as his knees buckled. 

“Woah!” Wooyoung exclaimed, grabbing on to him to keep him upright. “What the...”

Seonghwa blinked to try and clear the fuzz in his vision, Wooyoung’s voice having gone tinny for a moment. The gnawing feeling was back in his stomach too. 

“Sorry, just got lightheaded for a sec.”

By now San had taken notice, the only other member left in the room with them. He scurried over, face full of concern. 

“Hyung, I knew you didn’t eat enough! Here.” San dug around in his bag and pulled out one of his protein bars, tearing off the wrapper. “Take this.” 

Seonghwa took a bite, chewing it slowly. It tasted like chalk. 

“Ew, why do you eat these, Sannie?”

“I know it’s not the best, but at least it’s something.”

By now Wooyoung slowly let go as Seonghwa’s steadiness returned. He kept a hand on his arm though, just in case. 

“You sure you’re alright, hyung?” Wooyoung asked again. “You feel kind of warm.”

Seonghwa pulled away. “I’m fine now, just hot from practice.” He went over to the desk to grab his own bag and jacket. “And thanks for the bar, San. Now let’s go home.”

The two younger boys stared after him as he left, San’s voice trailing through the door. “Seriously, why is everyone so strange today...”

Seonghwa kept to himself in the van, earphones in and scrolling through his playlists. The protein bar was not sitting well in his stomach, and although he wasn’t prone to motion sickness, he felt waves of nausea creeping up his throat. He closed his eyes, breathing through his nose against the cold sweat gathering at the back of his neck. 

With only twenty more minutes until they were home, Seonghwa planned out the rest of the evening in his head; go have a shower, take some medicine and go to bed and be fine by morning. There was no way he was getting sick, not this close to the comeback and with so much work left to do. Memories of their summer promotions passed through his mind, the struggle of constantly trying to keep the pain off his face for months on end. He didn’t think he could go through that again. 

“Hyung, we’re here.”

Seonghwa jolted, eyes slipping open as Mingi shook his shoulder, not realizing that he must have dozed off on the drive. 

He followed the others inside, leaving his shoes uncharacteristically askew in the entryway before heading straight for his room. Hongjoong wouldn’t be home until late, if at all, so he took his time in the bathroom, running a cool shower and letting it wash away the sticky sweat from his skin. The nausea ebbed and flowed, persistent but not unrelenting, although his side was starting to hurt. A pulled muscle or cramp. 

When he finally got out of the shower and finished up, he dug around and found something to take for indigestion. A last minute thought had him pulling out a heating pad, used many a time before when their practices were gruelling and they came home with all manner of aches and pains. 

Seonghwa slid into bed, the heating pad propped against his right side as he scrolled through his phone. He was part way through a drama episode when his door burst open, three bodies all screeching and pulling at each other. 

“Hyunnnnnng!! Yunho won’t give my controller back!!”

San was desperately trying to reach for the object held aloft by Yunho, who had it just a few inches out of reach. Wooyoung was hurrying around them, laughing his head off as he reached for it too. Jongho stood in the doorway with a disapproving look. 

“I told them to arm wrestle me for it, but they said no,” the youngest scoffed. 

“How is that fair? No one would win!” Wooyoung shot back. Jongho shrugged and continued on down the hallway. 

Seonghwa sighed, dropping his phone into his lap and shoving the blankets aside. A sharp pain flared in his abdomen when he stood causing him to wince, his hand flying to the spot above his hip. “Ah!”

Three heads turned to him, the bickering going quiet for a moment. 

“I’m-,” Seonghwa exhaled, carefully straightening back up as the pain receded. “I’m fine. Must have pulled a muscle...”

Yunho lowered the controller, but San was no longer jumping for it. Wooyoung had turned to face him too. 

“Can you guys keep it down, it’s late and the neighbours will.....ugh-” Seonghwa gripped his side again, gulping down the sick feeling. 

“Seonghwa hyung, you’re really pale...” Yunho said, his usually cheerful face falling into a frown. 

“Seriously. I’m fine, it’s just a-“

He was going to vomit. His other hand came to his mouth as he rushed forward to the bathroom, the other boys staring at him in disbelief. Seonghwa fell to his knees at the toilet and a moment later San entered behind him. 

“It must be something I ate, Sannie,” Seonghwa said between heaves, trying to find an excuse. Nothing came up but the feeling was overwhelming as his side throbbed angrily. 

“I’m not stupid Hyung, I’ve watched you all day and you’ve barely had anything at all. What’s wrong? You can tell me.”

Seonghwa squeezed his eyes shut as he fended off another wave of sickness, his limbs starting to tremble as he held onto the toilet bowl. 

“I just....wasn’t hungry, and-“

Another wave. Another twisting stab in his abdomen. 

“Shhh, it’s alright. You can tell me, hyung,” San cooed, his hand softly rubbing Seonghwa’s back now. “I want to help you.”

“My side hurts. I thought it was a cramp at first but it’s not going away.”

San sighed sympathetically. “Is it your ribs again?”

“No, other side. Near my hip.”

“Hmm.”

The two sat there a little while longer until Seonghwa no longer felt like he was going to throw up bile. His side was still aching but had calmed down a bit again. 

“Here, I’ll help you get in bed.”

The elder nodded and San helped him up and back into his room. Seonghwa settled under the covers as San went to heat up the pad again. When he returned he also had a glass of water, a bag of ice cubes and a towel. 

Seonghwa to his good side and hugged the heating pad to his belly, watching as San folded the ice bag into the towel. 

“What’s that for?” 

“Did you know you have a fever, hyung? I could feel it through your shirt on your back,” San replied sullenly. 

Huh, no wonder he had been sweating so much. Wooyoung had said he felt warm too. 

San placed the wrapped ice at the back of his neck and Seonghwa sighed, the coolness feeling amazing against his skin. The younger then brushed Seonghwa’s bangs aside and held his palm against his forehead. A pout formed on his lips. 

“I’m going to go call Hongjoong hyung and manager-nim, I’ll be right back-“

“No!” Seonghwa cried, grabbing at San’s wrist as he moved to leave. “No, I don’t want to worry them, Hongjoong is stressed enough as it is.”

“But, hyung...”

“I’ll be fine, Sannie. I just need a good night’s sleep. You guys all do too, we’ve been so busy, and the comeback is in a couple weeks. This is nothing, really. I must have just over did it but I’ll rest here, okay?”

San looked conflicted but didn’t argue. “Do you want me to stay in here tonight then?”

“No, go sleep in your own bed. And tell the others to go to bed soon too. I’ll be okay in the morning, I promise. Thank you for all this though.”

“It’s no problem, Seonghwa hyung. Stay off your phone and rest, okay? I’ll even make sure we let you sleep in in the morning.”

San smiled softly and leaned over to kiss Seonghwa’s head. “Uwuwuwuwu our cute hyungie, feel better.”

“Your aegyo is going to make me even more sick,” Seonghwa said, gagging playfully. 

“Okay okay, good night hyung. Text me if you need anything.”

“Night, Sannie.”

The younger turned out the light and left the door cracked open a bit. Seonghwa squeezed the heating pad tighter, his side still throbbing painfully. He shut his eyes and focused on the mumbled voices of s out in the living room. 

“Is he okay?”

“I’m not sure. He says he is but...”

“After you guys left the practice room earlier, he almost collapsed. Something is up.”

“What!? Does Hongjoong hyung know?”

“No, he doesn’t want him to worry.”

“You know how hard he tries to hide his pain from us. Hyung is such a pabo, I swear...”

“I guess we’ll see in the morning then. That’s all we can do right now.”

 

 

Someone was stabbing Seonghwa repeatedly in the abdomen, and no matter how much he thrashed and screamed, the dull knife kept digging deeper and deeper. He was soaked in sweat, tears streaming down his face as he tried to curl in on himself, but the pain just kept increasing. He briefly wondered if this is what it felt like to die. 

“Seonghwa-yah! Wake up! Hey!”

His room was dark save for the warm glow from the bathroom door. Hongjoong’s small face was peering down at him. 

“Are you awake?” Their leader whispered. “You’re crying in your sleep.”

“Hongjoong-...Ahhhh.”

A sharp, piercing pain traveled through Seonghwa like lightning, it’s epicenter coming from that area near his hip. He choked on a sob. 

“Hyung, what’s going on?” Came a startled voice. Behind Hongjoong, San walked sleepily into their room, rubbing his eyes. 

“Go call manager-nim, something’s wrong with Seonghwa.”

“It got worse?” San asked, suddenly much more awake. 

“What do you mean worse? What’s going on?”

“I’ll explain later,” San whispered as he dashed off for his phone. 

Seonghwa grabbed one of his stuffed bears and wrapped his arms around it, pressing it hard into his stomach to try and alleviate the pain. It only helped a little. “Hongjoong-ah, what are you doing home?” He managed to eke out between the throbbing. 

“I felt bad after what Sannie said earlier, about you feeling lonely. So I decided to sleep here tonight but I walked in and you were crying and thrashing around. Are you alright?”

“I don’t think so,” Seonghwa finally admitted, the feverish sweat making him shiver. “My stomach really hurts. More than….oww….more than my ribs.”

“And San knows?”

“Kind of….”

Hongjoong let out a long sigh. “I’ll get him to tell me later. He’s calling manager-nim back to take you to the hospital. Just hang tight for now.”

Seonghwa nodded, clamping his eyes shut and squeezing his bear tighter each time the pain got worse.

San returned a few minutes later, still in pajama pants but now with his hoodie thrown on over top. “He’ll be five minutes, said to meet him at the door.”

“Alright, come help me with Seonghwa.” 

They helped Seonghwa sit up and got one of his own hoodies to put on before carefully walking him out of the dorm and down to the front door. The entire way, Seonghwa was hunched over, too in pain to fully stand and he tried to keep from crying out with each step. San kept whispering encouraging words while Hongjoong held him tightly, making sure he didn’t trip. It was quite a sight at three in the morning. 

Their manager opened the van door and the two boys helped the eldest inside. 

“We’re coming too,” San said before their manager could protest, already sliding in beside Seonghwa. “Our hyung needs us.”

“Alright, but you can’t stay if they keep him tonight.”

San once again pouted but it was a fair compromise. 

Hongjoong sat in the front seat but kept looking back at the other two. San had let Seonghwa lie in his lap, smoothing his hand through his hair and hushing him quietly as he cried with each bump in the road. 

“It’s okay hyung, you’ll be okay.”

“Sannie, he said you knew what’s going on…” Hongjoong prompted. 

“Right. Well, he wasn’t eating anything yesterday and then after our dance practice he got dizzy when you guys left. Then later in the evening he was in the bathroom feeling like he’d be sick. And he said his right side was hurting a lot.”

“Might be appendicitis,” their manager said as they to the freeway. “One of my army buddies had it during training.”

“But that means….” Hongjoong trailed off. San’s eyes got wide as he looked down at Seonghwa, trembling in his lap. 

“We won’t know for sure until he gets checked out, so no sense panicking now.”

“Easy for you to say,” Seonghwa mumbled bleakley. He’d watched enough dramas in his lifetime to know it meant a surgery. 

San shook his head and went back to petting Seonghwa’s hair. “Shhh, hyung. It’ll be fine.”

 

“I can’t believe it’s actually appendicitis,” San said, looking between Seonghwa and Hongjoong. Seonghwa was currently hooked up to an IV and oxygen cannula in the emergency room, finally getting some pain relief, while Hongjoong paced back and forth as their manager was filling out paperwork. “Like, wow, this is so dramatic! Are you scared?”

“A little..” He would have been more scared if the drugs he’d been given hadn’t made him feel so loopy already. Sometimes he was seeing two Sans sitting on the end of his bed. He wasn’t sure if he liked that. 

“When it’s all done, you can eat all the ice cream you want, hyung.”

“That’s when you get your tonsils out, San-ah,” Hongjoong corrected. 

“So? It’s still an operation, I say eat all the ice cream you can get.”

“Nooo, don’t make me laugh,” Seonghwa muttered, holding his abdomen and trying to keep still. “It hurts.”

San sidled up beside him and whispered. “What flavour do you want, I’ll buy you a whole tub.”

“Sherbert,” the eldest giggled. San gave him a thumbs up and a wink.

A nurse arrived shortly after, announcing it was time to go and started wheeling Seonghwa’s bed out of the room. 

“Wait!” San called out, furiously trying to pull something out of his bag. The familiar brown plushie made itself known as San handed it to the eldest. “For good luck.”

Seonghwa held Shiber and hugged it gently. “Thanks, Sannie. See you guys in a little while?”

San nodded and then turned away, pressing his face into Hongjoong’s shoulder. Their leader patted his back and gave his roommate a wave. 

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me,” Seonghwa said as he was rolled away. 

“We’ll try,” Hongjoong whispered. San let out a small sob near his neck.

Seonghwa didn’t dream. One minute his eyes were closing against his will, the sights and sounds around him barely remembered, and the next they were opening again, in a different room, bright with sunlight. He was sleepy, but comfortably so, the pain in his stomach gone with just an echo of an ache left in its place. Glancing around, he was surprised to see not only two recognizable heads, but seven. 

“Oh!” 

It was Yeosang who noticed he was awake first, as he was sitting the nearest with a book in his lap. He stood up, coming over to Seonghwa’s side. A moment later there were several voices all at once as the rest of s scrambled to get a spot around his bed. 

“Hyung! You’re awake!”

“How are you feeling?”

“What was it like? Can I see your scar?”

“Your nurse is really pretty, hyung!”

“Shhhhh.” It was Hongjoong coming to his rescue. “Everyone calm down. Give him a minute.”

Seonghwa sighed gratefully, but smiled back at them. “I feel good now. Tired, but good. How did you guys all get here? Is that even allowed?”

“Well technically, you’re only allowed three visitors, but this is a private room so they made an exception,” Yunho explained. 

“Mmm, and you actually already woke up a couple times, but you probably don’t remember it. Your parents were here earlier.”

“Ahhh,” Seonghwa nodded. 

“Wait, does that mean he might not remember this?” Wooyoung asked quietly, leaning towards San. 

“I don’t know….. Hey hyung, Wooyoung said he was going to take one of your action figures for his little brother!”

“Yah!” Seonghwa exclaimed, rising slightly from his pillows despite the soreness in his belly. “It’s a Gundam and you best believe I will remember that!”

Hongjoong glared at them in warning as the others all snickered. “Stop provoking him, he needs rest.”

Seonghwa huffed while gingerly lowering himself back down. Hongjoong placed a steadying on his back to help. “Thank you.”

“I think it’s time to leave anyway, we’ve actually been here for a while but you’ve been sleeping. The kids need to go let out their energy.”

Seonghwa nodded sadly, wishing they could stay longer now that he was feeling better. But they promised to come visit until he was allowed back home. 

And they did, usually coming in twos. Mingi and Yunho visited the next morning and played some games with him on their phones while he ate breakfast, then Jongho and Yeosang stopped by in the afternoon. Seonghwa found himself sleeping a lot but they didn’t mind. Jongho sang quietly as he sat beside Seonghwa while Yeosang read some of his manga, just their presence alone cheering Seonghwa up. Wooyoung and San came in the evening at dinner time, and within ten minutes were being hushed by the nurses for being too loud. The eldest enjoyed it though, even if they did make him laugh enough that he worried about ripping his stitches. 

Hongjoong didn’t visit until the day after, along with San again. The members had been too busy that morning after having a day off from practice for Seonghwa’s sake. They arrived after lunch time, when Seonghwa had just returned from walking a few (very slow) laps around the halls. He was definitely improving but it still hurt to stand for long periods of time, and thinking about when he would get back to dancing just made him sad. 

“Don’t worry about it, Seonghwa, we’ll all wait. The company will push back the comeback date, everyone knows and understands,” Hongjoong explained after Seonghwa finally voiced his fears of holding them back. 

San was cuddled up next to Seonghwa, Shiber still stuffed between them. “Exactly hyung, this isn’t your fault at all. Who knew your stupid appendix was going to explode?”

Seonghwa cringed. It was still surreal to him, even when he got changed and looked down, seeing the bandages and bruising on his normally smooth skin. He hadn’t actually looked at the incision itself yet when the nurses cleaned and checked it, despite the members all asking about what it looked like. 

“It’s only six more weeks and the doctors said you can go home tomorrow!”

“Yeah…” Seonghwa fiddled with his blankets. 

“It’ll be okay hyung, trust me.”

“Do the fans know?” He hated that they would be worrying over him again. 

“Mm, they made a statement but updated to say you were doing well.”

San grabbed his phone, scrolling a bit, and passed it to the elder. 

“See? They’re sending you lots of messages.”

Seonghwa took the phone and read a few, tears welling in his eyes. 

“Gosh, you’re so sensitive. Our baby hyung oh goo~” San cooed. Hongjoong rolled his eyes. “Hey, don’t look at me that way, hyung, I saw you crying on our way home when Seonghwa was in surgery. You’re both so sappy.”

“Did you really?” Seonghwa asked curiously, wiping at his damp eyes. “It’s not like I was dying.”

“That’s what I said!”

“Hey, you cried too, San-ah,” Hongjoong fired back. 

“Yeah yeah, not going to lie, we all did hyung. We were worried about you.”

Seonghwa frowned and held his arms out and the two members leaned in for hugs. 

“Sorry for scaring you.”

“It’s fine now. At least we’ll have some stories for interviews when we come back.”

Seonghwa glared. “If I wasn’t at risk of post-op complications I would be jumping out of this bed right now, San-ah.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to take a rain check...hey, OW!!”

Hongjoong snickered as Seonghwa flicked the younger’s forehead. 

“Not fair, you’re sick.”

“Which is why you can’t retaliate,” Seonghwa said and stuck out his tongue. 

The following day, Seonghwa was discharged. His manager said the members were all at the company today and busy with lessons, so he’d be going home to an empty dorm to rest. Seonghwa understood but deep down, he missed them, their normal routine, even if it was tiring and they sometimes got on each other’s nerves. Being home alone was going to make him feel even more useless. He sighed, watching his breath fog up on the van window. 

Seonghwa’s manager helped carry his things up to the dorm and when he stepped in it was dark, despite being midday. He slid his shoes off, lining them up neatly at the edge of the wall, and flipped on the lights. 

“SURPRISE!!!!” 

Seonghwa nearly jumped out of his skin as the members sprung out of their hiding spots, with streamers and balloons hung everywhere and a giant ‘Welcome Home’ sign slung unevenly across the window. 

The boys surged forward, enveloping the eldest in gentle hugs and pats on the back. 

“We’re glad you’re home!” 

“Love you, Seonghwa hyung!”

“Congrats on successful organ removal! What? It’s true.”

They guided him into the living room and onto the couch where they had his favourite blanket prepared and snacks laid out on the coffee table. 

“We’re at your complete disposal, your Highness,” Yunho explained with a bow. 

“Yeah! And we did all the laundry and chores, you don’t have to worry about anything.” Wooyoung beamed with pride. 

“I-.....thank you,” Seonghwa said, utterly shocked. “I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Well, we realized how much you do for us, and not having you home was weird,” San said. “So we prepared this. Hongjoong bought everything. And he said he’d stay home all night tonight too.”

Seonghwa turned to look at his friend who was looking at the floor bashfully. “Joong, thank you.”

Hongjoong looked up and smiled softly. “I’m just glad you’re better.”

“Okay, let’s eat! What do you want to watch, hyung? You choose,” Mingi said, getting the DVD player ready. 

Seonghwa was being settled on the couch, getting tucked in by San and Yeosang. “Anything really, as long as it’s with you guys.”

“Avengers it is.”

Eventually the boys settled around him, snacking on chicken and all kinds of chips and candy. Seonghwa only nibbled, still not having a full appetite back yet. 

“I kept my promise, hyung,” San said conspiratorially. “There’s a whole tub of sherbet in the freezer with your name on it. Want some?”

“Yeah sure, thanks Sannie.”

He got up and went to the kitchen, returning shortly with a bowl and spoon and a giant container of ice cream. A piece of paper was taped to the side. 

'Seonghwa hyungs surgery sherbet, DO NOT TOUCH.'

Seonghwa snorted. “Really, San?”

“You think it would have lasted until now if I hadn’t?”

“Hm, you have a point.”

San scooped a heaping portion into the bowl and passed it to the elder. 

“Eat until your heart's content, hyung.”

“But my heart is filled with you~”

San blinked. “Did they remove your brain too?” He deadpanned. 

Seonghwa smeared sherbet onto San’s nose but San just at it (well, tried to) playfully. 

They settled themselves back down as everyone fell into happily snacking and watching the movie. Seonghwa dozed off lightly but every time he awoke, Hongjoong was gazing over at him, a warm smile on his face. 

“Better?” He whispered, trying not to disturb the rest. 

Seonghwa’s heart felt warm. “Mm, better.”