Jinki wanted to leap from joy the moment he felt those plump lips moving against his own - he didn't even know whether it was real, or if it was all just part of his imagination. Maybe a dream? He wanted to pinch himself just to ensure his brain wasn't making this up.

But when he felt Taemin's arms slithering around his neck, he knew it was all 100% real. His own arms found their way around the younger one's waist to pull him closer gently and deepen the kiss just a little bit more; he had imagined this moment countless times, and he wanted to make sure it was perfect for Taemin.
The junior felt a series of emotions rushing through his veins; his head was empty of any thoughts ye could've had in this moment, but he didn't mind it. When last had he felt this way? He couldn't even remember. Kisses with Kibum were good, but not this exciting and definitely not enough to make the blonde forget everything around him.

He kept the kiss going until his lungs began to cry out for air, and he pulled away to look at the senior in front of him. Even Jinki seemed to be in a daze, and that only made Taemin's insides turn into more jelly - had Kibum ever been like that? The younger one didn't think so. He had never seen that little twinkle in the diva's eye like he did with Jinki right now, and he started to wonder what it would be like to be with Jinki. He knew Taemin just as well as Jongin did, which was pretty well, and he had never given the junior any reason to feel insecure or bad about what he was feeling like Kibum did from time to time.
Jinki cupped his face, leaned in, and left another little kiss on the blonde's lips before smiling at him.
“You kissed back,” He spoke up eventually to break the comfortable silence, and Taemin laughed.
“I know, captain obvious,” He stated and the older one laughed as well, leaving them in silence once more. He wanted to ask what they were now, but he didn't know if that would cause Taemin to back away. He didn't want to scare the younger one off now that there was a chance for them to be together - it was so close, he could almost see the opportunity right in front of him!

“What are we now?” Jinki eventually asked, simply because the excitement and nervousness was just too much for him to bear.
“I don't know,” Taemin sighed, and pulled away from the senior's embrace, “I like you, but...I don't know if those feelings are strong enough yet,”
The older one wasn't exactly sure how to respond to that. Of course, it was a good thing that the junior felt something for him like he did for Taemin, but wasn't he indirectly telling Jinki he didn't want a relationship with the senior? The thought made the black haired male's stomach churn.
“What are you trying to say? Just come outright. Don't you want to be with me?” Even though it hurt, he had to get those words out. He had to know where Taemin's head was at in this - he didn't want to get his hopes up only to be disappointed in the end. He liked the junior a lot, but he wouldn't stick around for that.
“No! It's not that at all,” Taemin exclaimed, almost annoyed, and then brushed a hand through his hair frustrated.
“I'm just not sure. I don't want to jump into this with you and hurt you later because I don't feel the same way anymore. We both know you deserve better than that,” He explained, and looked at the older one for a few seconds before folding his arms.
“You get it, right?” Did Jinki really? No.
“Yeah,” What was so hard about just letting someone know what they were feeling? If they were doubting it now, then what would make a good relationship? It was frustrating, upsetting, and most of all, disappointing.

They went inside to have some ice cream, though Jinki didn't know what he was supposed to do or think or feel. Should he be happy Taemin had kissed him? Sad that the younger one didn't know what he wanted? Upset that he felt he was being toyed with? How could they continue being friends from now on?
Easy. Just pretend this never happened. But it was easier said than done.

“Jonghyun told me you're upset that I might be going to Japan,” Jinki brought up the main thing that brought him here while grabbing a spoonful of chocolate mint ice cream from his bowl.
“Yes,” Taemin said, mulled over the fact for a little, and then ate some of his own ice cream.
“I don't really want you to leave,” He said.
“Yeah?” Jinki asked, “why is that?”
“You're one of my closest friends. Life wouldn't be the same if you're all the way in another country. Sure, Japan isn't as far as America, but it still is some time away. I get that you'd want to attend a college there - who wouldn't? - but I'll still miss you so much,” The blonde said with a slightly pouted lip as he played with his spoon and glanced at the older one.
“Like I said, I haven't decided yet. It's a great opportunity, of course,” The senior shrugged - maybe running away to another country was cowardly, but it seemed like a great idea at the time.
“Of course it is. But...would you come back to Korea eventually?” Taemin questioned softly. He could handle a few years of Jinki being away, but forever? He didn't think so.
“Well, sure. Depends where I get offered a better job,” Jinki said - he was going for a mechanical engineer, which meant it would be pretty easy to get offered at least something in both Japan and Korea. But where he would get better pay and benefits, he didn't know.
“So...if you...if you would get a better job there, then you wouldn't come back at all?” Taemin swallowed thickly. The ice cream wasn't that appetizing as it was before, and he put his spoon in his bowl.
“Probably,” The older one said matter-of-factly, and it sounded crude even to himself.
Taemin's heart sank. He expected it, but he still felt bad about it.
“I see...”

They chatted for only half hour more before they said their goodbyes. Both of them weren't in such great moods - Taemin kissed Jinki, but it made the older one sad that the younger one didn't know what he wanted, and Jinki seemed to have everything planned out...and that meant leaving Taemin behind, though he knew thinking like that was being selfish. They were both hurt, even if they hadn't intended to hurt one another.

Over the next two weeks, Taemin grew even more attached to Jinki. He didn't even really care about the fact that the older one would probably leave for Japan - he wanted to spend as much time with the senior as he could, and that wasn't because he wanted to slot in some time for them before Jinki left, but simply because he just liked being around the senior and his bubbly personality.
They hung out often after school, Jinki helped Taemin with his homework as much as he could without completely doing everything for the junior, and they even began going out on the weekends. Though neither of them saw it as dates, it was there in the back of their minds. They became more and more attached to one another, so much so, that Jinki almost wavered in his decision to go to Japan. But having an opportunity like that and throwing it away for love was foolish, even he knew that much.

It was vacation time. School was out for the year, which meant it was summer vacation, and everyone had ideas of what they wanted to do - travel to another country, stay home, or just travel around Korea - but Taemin already knew what he would be doing. He had just about a week left with Jinki, and he tried not to let the thought get him down. As much as he could, he went about things as normal with the senior, like he wasn't going to leave at all. But they both knew each other well, and they knew they were sad about the same thing even if they tried their best to hide it.

It was a warm day, and both of them relaxed in Taemin's bedroom with the window wide open to let the cooling breeze float in. Taemin reclined on his bed as Jinki leaned against the window lazily, relaxing on the sill, and they were silent for some time. It almost felt too warm for words.
The air was heavy with things they wanted but couldn't say, and they often glanced at one another when the other wasn't looking. They knew they had to speak about the thing eventually, but neither of them really knew how to approach the subject. They exchanged some small talk - the weather, some school stuff, results - until Taemin decided he couldn't hold it back anymore.

“Are you really going to leave? Have you decided?” He still had some hope in his heart that Jinki would stay, maybe not for him, but that he would at least stay.
“Yes. My father got his post changed, so we're going to Tokyo in about four or five days,” Was the answer, and Taemin stifled a gasp. Four or five days?! That was two less than he thought. Maybe it didn't seem like a lot, but to him, it was two precious days lost. He had spent so much time with his best friend for how long now, but it didn't seem like it was nearly enough. Two weeks of hours and hours together couldn't compare to not hanging out with the older one for a few years.

He gulped. Took a breath. Spoke.
“Really? Do you know when you'll be coming back?” He questioned softly and looked at his best friend who lounged lazily on the sill, the slight breeze ruffling his black hair. He opened his one eye and looked at the younger one who was now sitting up with crossed legs, watching his every move.
“Maybe in five years. That's if I can't find a steady job there. But I'll come back to see everyone here - my family - at least once a year,” Jinki answered as he looked back at the swaying leaves on the branches in Taemin's backyard. He had come to accept the fact that he would move away from his friends, family, and Taemin...but for a good cause. It made him more sad than anything, and he even questioned if it was the right choice more than once, but what could he do? He had already told his parents he wanted to move. They were already setting up their lives there. He couldn't back out now.
“I'm going to miss you a lot,” He uttered after a while of tense silence, and he turned his head to glance at his friend. Almost like he was trying to memorize the scene in front of him for the last time.
“I'm going to miss you a lot more,” Taemin said softly and fiddled with his blanket. It felt so bitter to think of this as the end, but what more could he think? Only seeing the senior once a year? How was he supposed to handle that? He didn't know, and he didn't want to think of it either.

“Jinki...” What could he say? What was he supposed to say? He felt so sad, so low, how was he supposed to paste a smile on his face like he usually did and this up like it was nothing? He couldn't. He thought the fact that Kibum cheating on him had been bad, but this was much worse. And he didn't even see Jinki that way...or did he?
He was so confused, he didn't even know what he felt anymore. He didn't want to see Jinki in that light only because he was leaving, but because he really liked the older one that way. So why did it feel like both to him?

“Yes?” The older one asked, and glanced at the blonde. His black roots were growing out, and he wondered what color the younger one would go for next.
“Could I have a hug?” Taemin sounded pathetic to even his own ears, but Jinki simply stood up and embraced his best friend in his arms. He was trying not to let it get to him too much, but the longer he held on and felt Taemin's warm body against his own, the more he felt the sadness seeping in. He just couldn't help it, and before he could even control himself, his lips found Taemin's once the younger one had turned his head to glance up at the black haired male.

It didn't take the junior even a few seconds to react, and he started moving his lips against Jinki's eagerly through his sadness. His desperation to keep the older one here with him, the anxiety of Jinki leaving for so long, and his confusion with his feelings got fused into this one kiss, making it a bit rougher than he intended it to be.
His hands curled into fists once he felt the fabric of Jinki's shirt on his fingertips, and he pulled the senior a little closer to him which caused Jinki to stumble a little as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. He could almost taste the desperation in the kiss, but he didn't mind it too much. He felt just as desperate to feel the junior's touch.

They moved backwards until Taemin felt the back of his knees hit the edge of his bed, and they toppled over onto the sheets without breaking the kiss. Neither of them had gone so far before, but they didn't even know if it would end up there. All they wanted was to feel this moment, to make it last forever, and to hopefully make up for the years of separation that would come; sure, once a year was something, but it wasn't enough for the both of them.
Taemin's plump lips moved against Jinki's with much fervor and neediness while his hands knotted themselves in the older one's hair. Jinki's hands settled on Taemin's slim waist and gave it affectionate squeezes now and then while his lips began to burn from the heated kiss.
“J-Jinki hyung...” Taemin whispered out as he felt those lips moved down to his neck and a shudder rolled through his body from the excitement building in his veins.
He was about to push the senior away - they were too young and they didn't know each other 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 well to be doing something this extreme and permanent. Not even a tattoo was this permanent these days; anyone could get that easily removed, but not losing one's ity. That was something that just couldn't be replaced.

Before Taemin could get to it, however, there was a knock at his door and a second later it opened. That second was just enough for Jinki to spring up before he could get caught - he didn't even know what had possessed him in the first place. He didn't think he would go even that far with Taemin. Just kissing his neck seemed so extreme and illegal!

Taemin's mom stepped in, and smiled at the boys.
“Lunch is ready. I thought you two might be playing video games, so I didn't want to scream if you couldn't hear me,” She explained with a smile, and both of them rattled their heads as a nodding motion. They tried to act as normal as possible until Taemin managed to let out a squeak, “we'll be down in just a minute,”
She glanced at them a bit oddly for a second or two longer, and then left while shutting the door.

Both Jinki and Taemin let out breaths they were both simultaneously holding.
“I don't want you to go,” The younger one said after rubbing his face, and Jinki brushed a hand through his hair.
“I know. And I don't either, but I can't go back on it now. I'm sorry,” He said with a sigh.
“Does that...mean we couldn't be together?” The blonde wondered out loud; the more he thought of it, the more he realized the feelings for Jinki weren't there only because he was leaving, but because Taemin had really fallen for him. And he would even go long distance with Jinki if that meant they could be together.
“I don't know...would you want to date me?” Jinki asked unsurely, and Taemin felt himself grow shy as he forced a small nod. His cheeks turned red; what if the older one was judging him somehow? He couldn't help but think that, even though Jinki wasn't one to judge.

“Maybe it would be a little hard considering the distance, but...I want to try and make it work with you nonetheless,” Jinki answered softly, his eyes sparkling at the thought of getting to finally be with Taemin after so long.
“Okay,” The younger one whispered and nodded a bit more firmly this time, and then got up to leave another loving kiss on his now boyfriend's lips.

Jinki moved to Japan, but he kept in contact with Taemin as much as his schedule would allow. Luckily for them, the timezones were the same, so they had time to talk often. They told each other everything - how Jinki's first year was going, and even how Taemin's first day of being a senior went. All in all, they missed that they couldn't hang out, but they were satisfied with being in contact in some way. Taemin felt much more appreciated and listened to than when he was with Kibum, even though he did wonder from time to time how his ex was doing.
It was almost time for Jinki to get back for his vacation - him and Taemin had been dating for just over six months at that point in time - and the younger one clutched his pillow tightly the night before Jinki was about to arrive.
𝐼'𝑚 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦, Taemin thought, 𝐼'𝑚 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑚.