You were applying your skincare routine and just getting started with your coral blush when someone rang the bell. You found it odd, because you never had a guest on weekends, let alone in the morning. Or at least before lunch time. The bell rang twice, making you rush to open the door.

"Coming," you shouted at the door.

You lost all words when Johnny appeared behind your door, looking as fine as you could remember although he simply wore a sweater and a pair of jeans. "Johnny, what are you..."

"May I come in?" he calmly asked. He was so quiet you almost can't recognize him. The Johnny you used to know was the bubbly, giggly, cheerful and talkative Johnny whenever and wherever.

"Yeah, sure." You opened the door wider for him. Without words, you watched him take off his shoes, waited for him to follow you entering your studio apartment, and gestured him to sit down on the couch. "Coffee? Tea?" you offered.

He smiled. He knew you knew he loved coffee more than anything, yet he also knew caffeine was never on your grocery shopping list. This kind of simple little thing sometimes made him unexpectedly miss you even more. "Anything is fine," he answered.

"Then yujacha it is," you concluded, smiling back at him. You excused yourself to make his drink. "So, why are you here?" you casually asked from the pantry, not even bothered to look at his direction.

"I want to see you." He took a pause, unsure to blurt it out or not. He approached you to the pantry, and managed to get in your way, standing before you. "Because, uh.. I miss you." There. He said it. Not very loud. But it was quite clear.

You made an 'oh' sound with your expression getting puzzled. Not quite the reaction he was expecting, which he had to accept. He had to swallow his disappointment, yet he couldn't complain since he was the one to end your relationship.

"I miss you too, Johnny," you responded. But the smile on your lips was not as genuine as before. As when you learned how sweet Johnny was with his words and actions.

You passed him through his side without saying anything. You silently put two cups of yujacha on the table in front of the couch.

Behind you, Johnny followed your steps back to the living room, feeling uneasy. His eyes were tracing all over your outfit; a summer dress he recognized that Sooyoung bought you for your birthday but he himself never saw you wearing that—which he had to admit you looked stunning and it went great with your name, as well with your rosy cheeks. He also noticed your neglected make up kit on the small table beside the TV. "Are you going somewhere?" he asked.

"Yeah, I was actually getting ready to go out, but then you came. So, yeah.."

He automatically looked apologetic, but the feelings were mixed. He felt bad to disturb you. But he couldn't help to worry about who you were going with. Could it be... Jung Jaehyun?

"Don't worry," you quickly said as you tied your hair into a messy bun before a word slipped out of his mouth. "It's not like I have important meeting." You quickly tidied up your small table, put it in your bed room, then grabbed an outerwear to cover the revealing skin of your shoulders, arms, and upper chest. Soon, you joined him on the couch. "So, is there anything I can do for you?"

Still, he can't feel relieved. Especially when you made it sound like he only visited for his interest only. Can't he just casually come visit you like a friend?

"Is it okay if we hang out today?" Johnny encouraged himself to make himself clear, at least for the time being. "No need to go outside. Just chillin' here. Just you and me. Just like you wanted to do." He ended his words in hesitation. He might realize it was not wise to bring up the things you wanted to do back in the days.

It just made you ask yourself. 'Like what I wanted to do'? Do I still want to do that?

But the soft side in you gave in. You said yes to Johnny, even if it meant that you had to cancel your plan for the rest of the day. You already made a messy bun anyways, and you hadn't gone all the way for your daily makeup. These excuses were enough to stay at home.

Except Johnny was with you.

Johnny offered to use his Netflix account, and in return you let him decide what to watch. You didn't have much interest in movies and TV shows anyway. So you just sat there, with a distance of two pillows away from Johnny, your eyes on either the TV screen or your phone. Mainly your phone actually. Sometimes Johnny would start small talks about whatever scene displayed. However, since you weren't very responsive, he gave up on talking with you. He let his mind wander around where and how it went wrong between him and you, while still trying to watch the TV series Doyoung recommended to him. Being the multi-tasking person he was, he would also caught you drown in your own world as your hands were stuck with your phone, your thumbs busy typing although you could still face him and talk to him.

Eventually, the only sound heard in the room was from the TV. You and Johnny were in the same room, sitting on the same couch, yet Johnny felt like he was alone. As the TV series went on, the more Johnny lost his focus on his sight. He no longer watched the TV. He was staring blankly at nothing. The dialogue from the TV started to sound like murmurs in his ears. His mind was rather going back to recall the moment he spilled everything on you. The moment he shouldn't have said whatever he said.

Now he had better understanding of what mere physically exist means. This was it. Only your body was sitting there. Probably his presence there didn't matter at all to you. Or maybe worse, you didn’t even want him there.

This had never happened before.

Just because you were being a bit more quiet than usual when you went out with him and his friends, the audacity he had to say that you were just ‘existing’. He didn't even bother to ask why. Maybe he did, once or twice, but because you said you were fine so he just bought it. Johnny wanted to mock and laugh at himself. Taeyong would love to do it for his dear best friend.

"Johnny?" you called. Loud enough to snap him back to reality from being in a daze.

"Sorry, I almost dozed off." He faked his blinking and yawning. "Oh, it's evening already," he mumbled as he diverted his eyes to your window.

"Yeah," you shortly uttered. You silently untied your bun and let your hair fall freely, then you tucked some strands behind your left ear. Your expression was difficult for him to read. You were neither smiling, nor frowning. You just sat there, still holding your phone. Johnny had never seen you occupied with a gadget to this extent.

"We should have done this more often," he quietly spoke, looking at your direction to find your eyes. He could see you were still not used to him being a homebody like this. It was very understandable as you always accompanied him almost wherever he went out. You barely had dates at home, or just nice brunch dates without having to meet many people. You can even count how many times Johnny visited your home. This time was probably the fourth or fifth time. "Instead of going out to clubs, or to some parties," he continued, mumbling. There were some regret heard from his intonation.

You finally put your phone away. You had been texting non-stop during the whole episodes, and Johnny noticed that, causing him to lose concentration.

"Hey, it's fine. I had fun too meeting your friends." You tried to boost his mood. It was very odd to see him down.

"I'm sorry. For everything."

"It's already in the past. Don't think about it anymore."

Johnny didn't respond. If there was one thing he just realized, it would be the idea of you being relieved that everything about you and himself now was already in the past. And how much you emphasized that, as if you didn't want him in the present time. This was another wake up call for Johnny, that he messed up real bad in his relationship with you.

The silence between you and him was another thing that was uncommon. The first and the last time you experienced this kind of mood was the break up day. It was uncomfortable when you were reminded of it. You got up and pretend to search for something edible on your fridge beside banchan and the raw foods. It never slipped on your mind to ask him stay for dinner although it was past 7 PM. Even you skipped lunch because you didn't bother to offer him a meal, and he didn't say anything about it either, so you ended up snacking your last fruit stock. Now you only had some leftover of kimbab from yesterday in the fridge. You closed the refrigerator door hopelessly and got back to the living room to find Johnny already get up on his feet.

"I should go home," he calmly said.

"Oh, okay." Then you walked him to the front door without any small talk or whatsoever.

Johnny wished you would ask him to stay, or ask him why leaves so soon instead of saying okay right away. It felt like you had been waiting for him to go.

I want to hug her, he screamed inside as he had to control his body from jumping towards you and making you sink in his embrace. He stood before you wordlessly, with his mind contemplating between asking your permission for a hug, suppressing his desire to take you in his arms, or not giving a damn and just pull you into a bear hug.

"Johnny? Is there something wrong?" you asked, tilting your head to one side.

"Can I... can I hug you?" he shyly confessed, while his eyes unusually looking at the floor. Three seconds had passed without any response from you and it already tortured him. "Anyway, never mind. Don't listen to me." He waved his hand to the air before putting them in his pocket.

Your feet shifted closer to his. To his surprise, you placed your hands on the both sides of his waist, your side head resting on his chest as if you were listening to his heartbeat. Just when he was about to tighten the embrace, you abruptly let go of him due to your phone ringing loudly, leaving Johnny frozen in his spot with the remaining fruity scent from your shampoo.

"Oh, hi, Taeyong." He heard you speaking over the phone.

Taeyong again? Johnny pursed his lips. He was so in a big trouble.

"Yes, Johnny's here with me. We're in my house. It's fine. Okay, I'll see you around."

You hung up the call then folded your arms. "Taeyong is looking for you."

"I know. I should really go now."

You nodded.

"Thank you for today," he said as he put on his shoes. Just before he headed out, he turned back to you. "Can I come over again?"

You wore your pokerface, unconsciously making Johnny feel uneasy. "It would be better if you ring me up first."

Johnny nodded lightly. "Okay, I will."