One week had passed, and Johnny was still able to calm himself. She needs time and I will give as much as she needs, he told himself on repeat. In no time, one week had changed into one month. His patience hadn’t betrayed him, yet he was getting more anxious. Isn’t a month too long? Anything can happen within the past 30 days. By anything he meant the possibility of Jaehyun and you. What stressed him even more was none of his friends now told him about any recent updates about you. The universe worked its magic by never putting you and Johnny in a same project anymore. If anything, your schedule and his never matched that these days he couldn’t even see you in the office. Lately Ten and Doyoung was getting closer with Jaehyun as well, but they won’t spill anything whenever he tried to seek information about you and Jaehyun.

Johnny started to lose his sanity when it was almost three months without you making any contact with him. He tried to ask you out twice, which successfully getting turned down because you always said to have other stuff to do. Everyday his thumbs had to resist not to text you although all he wanted just to ask casually how you’re doing. He already expected you to come up with short answers and wrap up the conversation immediately. But it would be still better than being like this.

One day he happened to see you working overtime. The best idea he had was to wait for you and take you home. Except, Jaehyun seemed to think exactly the same thing and he had made his moves. There he was, sitting beside you, unboxing some food and drinks from a paper bag. Johnny was contemplating whether he would join the two of you or not. With an endless train of thoughts messing with his head and his feelings, approaching you did not seem to be a good idea.

They’re friends, John. They are friends. Jung Jaehyun is not more than a friend, just like Jungkook. Jung Jaehyun must be only friends. Johnny won’t get tired saying this to himself.

Jung Jaehyun has to be friends.

But it wasn’t Johnny if he didn’t find himself eventually losing it. So one day, without thinking much further, he decided to confront Jaehyun. When he arrived in front of the broadcasting room where Jaehyun was still on air, that was when his brain started to work.

A sigh escaped Johnny’s lips. He felt exhausted even before he did anything. What am I doing here?

As he was about to leave, Jaehyun roughly opened the door, making Johnny startled.

“John?”

“Jaehyun.” The taller managed to be as firm and stand tall. He cannot lose like this.

“What are you doing here?”

Although with puzzled face, Johnny maintained his intense eye contact towards Jaehyun. Usually Jaehyun would feel intimidated, but not today. He managed to be calm and asked Johnny to talk in a cafe nearby. He already knew where this conversation would go, and the last thing he wanted was to be watched by the other staff.

Jaehyun spent the first 10 minutes being silent. His hot americano on the table remained full and now it was warm. “I’m gonna be straightforward. I hope you’d understand.”

“If it’s about Yeoreum—”

“It is.” Johnny quickly cut him out. “I’m trying to work things out between us. But with you in the picture…” he shook his head slowly, his eyes looking for sympathy as he continued, “Please, don’t take her away from me.”

“Wait, I’m in the picture?” Jaehyun repeated his words in disbelief, before screaming internally, ‘You are in the picture when she and I are trying to get somewhere to figure things out. Now I am in the picture?’

Johmmy was surprised to see how Jaehyun got worked up a little bit. “Jaehyun, please..”

“Nobody is taking her away from you. If she’s thinking what you’re thinking, wouldn’t she find her way to go back to be by your side?”

“I know I did wrong..”

“I don’t want to say this, but admit it, Johnny. She’s not going back,” Jaehyun almost raised his voice. On a daily basis, he was never one to speak with high tone, nor with intense emotion.

Johnny can’t go on with his words. He was devastated and there was nothing Jaehyun could do to console him. Suddenly Jaehyun got up to pick up a phone call.

“Oh, Yeoreum?” Eyeing Johnny, he talked quite loudly, making sure that Johnny was aware of how things got more seriously between you and him. “Okay, I’ll go there. Wait for me.”

“Jaehyun, please, I’m begging you,” Johnny continued as the younger hung up his call. “Yeoreum just needs more time. I know we can go through this. We can work this out..”

“Johnny, you need help. You’re drunk too, I can smell alcohol from your breath.”

Johnny wouldn’t admit it that he did had a few glasses of liquor although it was not even 9 PM. He spent a little bit too much of time crying over his own acts at a bar. There were a lot of things going on his mind. You, Jaehyun, you and Jaehyun, and the relationship between you and him. Piles of work were not even included yet.

Jaehyun sighed. “I’ll tell Doyoung to send somebody to pick you up.”

“Please don’t.” Scolds and nags from either Doyoung or Taeyong was the last thing he would want to hear these days.

“Johnny, you can’t drive under influence like this.”

“Why would you care?”

“I don’t, but Yeoreum? Maybe she still do care about you, Johnny. I just thought, if anything happens—please don’t get me wrong, I just don’t want Yeoreum to worry too much about you.”

—

Driving without destination had been Johnny’s new routine for the past week. He left work earlier, making Doyoung wonder what he did after work. He rarely attended party, making Taeyong amused that he could survive without parties. He barely hung out with Mark, so the younger boy had to play with Lee Donghyuck and his same-age friends instead. He drove mindlessly and the next place he parked was your apartment. Then he found himself standing in front of your door, drowning in his own thoughts. The next second, the door was swung open, you being surprised with Johnny’s presence.

“I love you,” was the first thing he said. Not even a ‘hello’, or a ‘how are you?’.

You looked unfazed. “Johnny, you’re drunk.”

“I’m not. Why would I drunk confess to you?” He let out a breathy laugh, not because something is funny. “I did drink, but only a little. You know I could handle alcohol pretty well.”

“Johnny, I’ll call a taxi for you, okay?”

“Why can’t you let me talk?”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Us.” Johnny bent down, resting his forehead against your shoulder. His arms slowly approached your waist, asking for a hug. But your hands stopped them, tightly gripping his wrists on your sides. He lifted his upper body, his eyes finding yours with confusion.

“Johnny, I told you, don’t wait for me.”

“What if I am?”

“What if I’m not coming back to you?”

“That’s just a ’what if’,” he denied.

“Things are not the same between us anymore, Johnny. You have to let go.”

‘Things are not the same between us anymore.’ Isn’t that my words when we broke up? Does it hurt this much when I said that?

“Are you with Jaehyun now?”

Squinting your eyes, you almost answer him with a raised tone, “Wha—”

Two guys loudly making a fake cough distracted you and Johnny who immediately turned to see who they were. Standing a few steps away from you and him were Jungkook and Jaehyun with their judging expression.

“Yeoreum, I’ve bought the soy sauce and sesame oil. Can you please assist Jaehyun cooking? He insists and he won’t let me order take-out and I’m starving to death,” Jungkook calmly said, once a while glancing and making eye contact to Johnny.

You were hesitating to move from your standing spot. If it wasn’t for Jungkook pushing you back in to your apartment, you would have been frozen there and probably still engaged in that never-ending talk with your ex.

Johnny silently watched your back walking away with Jaehyun by your side, disappointment was evident in his face.

“Hyung, please, if you truly love her, let her go,” Jungkook said before smoothly signaling gestures to go away to the older guy.

Sure, you did like Johnny. Who wouldn’t? He was a good company, he laughed a lot—basically a happy virus, he took a good care of you and other people. But that’s it. You never fought? Obviously, since you tended to keep it all to yourself. But this doesn’t mean Johnny is a bad guy. He is always kind-hearted and gentle. But again, that’s it. You simply accepted him because of that.

At the end of the day, it finally came to your senses. After the break up, it took you months later to realize that you did not like Johnny that way. You felt lighter without him. Still, probably due to all those parties. After all, it was the Johnny Suh. Being his girlfriend was definitely something. While with Jaehyun, everything went in a relatively slow pace. No rushing. And you were just being you, no need to try hard to be as 'superior’ as the other. This just made you guilty and regret that you accepted him in the first place.

author's note

OKAY first of all, it's been a while!!!!!! and thank you for reading and subscribing! was pretty amazed by the number of subscribers of this fic. but I'M REALLY SORRY because i had to make this abrupt ending :') it had been months i didn't really have inspiration to go on with the plot. i've had jaehyun endgame since i started this but i cant express it very well :') this final chapter is not the best i can write, but i dont like it even more to leave it hanging. so once again thank you to those who read and left comments, it means a lot to me!!

recently i'm much more active on tumblr, and i've been very into social media au. the format in aff doesn't really support for picture-based au, so yeah.... feel free to lurk on my tumblr page or say hi : https://unmanageable-day.tumblr.com/