Naeun wasn’t surprised when someone knocked on her door just as she was getting into bed, and she certainly wasn’t surprised to open her door and see Eunji standing outside with a cup of ice cream in her hands.

“Hey, Princess,” Eunji greeted and let herself in. “I came to see you before your big mission tomorrow.”

“It’s not just my mission,” Naeun said. She plucked the cup of ice cream from Eunji’s hand. Eunji had been coming over so often that their movements felt natural.

“I guess you’re right, but this is your first ever mission. Are you scared?”

Naeun eyed Eunji up and down, taking in her heightened tone and inability to stand still. Not as scared as you, Naeun wanted to say, but she just said, “I’m nervous, but I’m not going to back out. How are you feeling?”

“I’ll be honest with you, I always get nervous before missions, but I just tell myself that I have trained for every possible situation and that everything will work out, even if it doesn’t the first time.”

“Good, I’m glad.” Naeun sat on her bed and patted the spot next to her, beckoning Eunji to sit. “But I wasn’t asking about that.”

Eunji’s lips made a perfect “o” as she said, “Oh. That.”

“Yes, that.”

Eunji sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Her hair had grown longer since she had first started working with Naeun, and now it fell halfway to her chest. She sat down next to Naeun on her bed. “I meant what I said last time. I’m going to move on.”

“You seemed pretty upset when you stormed out of the infirmary the other day. You seem to have gotten over it pretty quickly.”

“Well, I was pretty lucky to have someone run after me and talk me down,” Eunji grinned. “That person had a way with words.”

“I’m sure that person was the most attractive person you’ve ever met too,” Naeun joked back, but her mind was somewhere else. Back when Naeun had run after Eunji from the infirmary, Naeun had caught Eunji and spoke with her. Her flushed cheeks, her slightly disheveled hair, the slight tremor in her voice… They had stuck with Naeun and had been following her around like a shadow of the past.

“She definitely was,” Eunji agreed so smoothly that Naeun didn’t even raise a glance until a few seconds later.

“So how are you really feeling?”

“Good. A lot more solidified about my decision, actually. I talked to Bomi the other day and she helped me too.” Eunji stole the spoon from Naeun’s hand. “She actually told me the same thing that you did.”

“I said a lot of things.”

“What you told me to do,” Eunji said. “Or be.”

“Ah,” Naeun said. She knew exactly what Eunji was referring to. “I see. Great minds think alike, I suppose.”

“Bomi helped me realize that Chorong-unnie isn’t the one for me. Although it still hurts a bit, it feels better knowing that my heart isn’t lost anymore. I know now that Chorong-unnie and I are better off as we are now. Friends.”

Not for the first time, Naeun’s heart flared with hope, and, as it usually did, it was followed by a twinge of guilt. It felt morally wrong to be feeling hopeful in this situation, especially when Eunji was in pain. This was no time to be advancing Naeun’s romantic interest. So, biting back on her tongue, Naeun asked, “And you’re certain about this?”

“Yeah,” Eunji answered, then paused and considered. “In all our years together, I don’t think Chorong-unnie has ever considered me once in a romantic way. She’s always looking after me, but in the way that a friend or a sister would. I would try to look after her as well, but she’s so independent and strong-willed that it makes it difficult. She doesn’t need my protection.” Eunji shrugged and shook her head. “I don’t know...I guess I just like having someone I can protect.”

Naeun froze, and it wasn’t because of the cup of ice cream in her hands. Did Eunji just…?

This wasn’t the first time Eunji had referenced protecting someone. It wasn’t a very uncommon thing to say, but Naeun couldn’t help but feel like there was some extra meaning to Eunji’s words. Could Eunji possibly be her childhood love? Naeun tried not to think about how much she wished that beautiful twist of fate was true.

Naeun cleared in an attempt to clear her mind of false hopes. “I’m glad Bomi and I helped you realize that.”

“No. You and Bomi made me realize different things.” Eunji shifted on Naeun’s bed so that she was sitting facing Naeun. She looked directly at Naeun, and for the first time in a while, her gaze was clear. Her mind wasn’t elsewhere, trapped in its melancholy and wondering of lost chances, as it had been for the past few days. She was looking at and seeing only Naeun.

“Bomi made me realize that I wasn’t the one for Chorong-unnie,” Eunji said. “You made me realize that Chorong-unnie wasn’t the one for me.”

“Eunji!” Naeun shouted. “Eunji, stop!”

Naeun sprinted down the hall in Eunji’s wake. For someone who was pretty short, Eunji’s legs could take her pretty far. When she finally caught up to Eunji, they were close to Eunji’s room, which was on the opposite side of the palace from the infirmary. Naeun surged forward and grabbed Eunji’s hand, effectively bringing the both of them to a halt. The princess was panting heavily, but Eunji barely looked winded.

Still, Eunji didn’t look completely at her best. Her hair was slightly entangled, her cheeks were a rosy pink, and her jaw was locked in a tight clench. This was the first time Naeun had seen Eunji so obviously upset, and her first instinct was to pull Eunji into her arms and embrace her. But she didn’t. She just released Eunji’s hand and took a moment to gather her breath. 

“Why did you run after me?” Eunji asked.

Naeun drew in a deep breath and straightened her back. “You just stormed out of the infirmary. You couldn’t have possibly expected me not to follow you.”

“I’m fine, Princess.”

“No, you’re not.”

Eunji said nothing. She just looked down at her feet.

Naeun inhaled another deep breath, then grasped Eunji’s hand again. “Come with me.”

“To where?”

“Just come.”

Eunji didn’t need further persuading; she spared one glance down the hall, where her room was, then sighed and nodded. The moment Eunji gave in, Naeun’s feet set off to travel the path that they had traveled for years. By the time they were halfway to their destination, Naeun was fairly certain that Eunji had figured out where they were headed. Eunji didn’t say anything, but by the way her hand relaxed in Naeun’s and her steps fell into a smooth synchronization with Naeun’s, Naeun could tell that Eunji knew where they were going. 

In fact, when they reached the top of the palace’s dome, Eunji automatically walked over to the window and pushed it open. She stepped over the window sill, secured her footing, then held her hand out towards Naeun.

When they had both settled on top of the dome, they sat in silence and gazed out at the bustling city that lay before them. Unlike during the night, the city was buzzing with life. Cars moved through the streets, pausing at stoplights and yielding for pedestrians, and birds fluttered from tree to tree, chirping their happy songs. People, appearing just as small dark dots, populated the streets and sidewalks, floating along with the flow of traffic. Naeun closed her eyes and tried to imagine herself among that traffic.

After a while, Naeun finally broke the silence, “I can never decide which is prettier: the view during the day or during the night.”

“I can see why you’d have difficulty,” Eunji replied, staring off into the distance. “Why did you bring me here?”

“You seemed like you needed to clear your mind,” Naeun said. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Eunji sighed and ducked her head. Naeun half expected Eunji to just say that she’d be “fine” and that she didn’t need to talk. So when Eunji actually explained to Naeun her situation, Naeun was mildly surprised.

Naeun sat still as Eunji admitted to her feelings for Chorong. Naeun hated how she felt a small stab of disappointment and sorrow when Eunji described her four-year long unrequited love for Chorong. She hated even more how she felt a small light of hope when Eunji described what had happened with Bomi and Chorong. What Eunji needed now was a friend, not a romantic interest.

“I’ve known for a while what was going on between those two,” Eunji said in the end. “It just hurt seeing it in action, I guess.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“I’m going to give up,” Eunji said definitively. “That sounds a bit blunt and negative, but what else can I do? I can’t keep pursuing something that obviously has no future.”

“You don’t know that it has no future,” Naeun said, despite her own hopes.

“I do. I know when Bomi is in love, and she is very clearly in love with Chorong-unnie. I have never seen Chorong-unnie in love, but I can only imagine that it’s like how she’s acting now.”

“I’m sorry, Eunji. I wish I could do something to help.”

Eunji smiled softly and rubbed Naeun’s hand. “What you’re doing is more than enough. I’m just going to need a little time.”

“I’ll be here if you ever need anything.”

“Thank you, Naeun-ah.”

“But can I ask you to do one thing?”

Eunji frowned slightly, but she still said, “Sure. What is it?”

“Be more selfish.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Be more selfish,” Naeun repeated. “Do things for the sake of your own happiness. You’re always so selfless and I love that about you, but you can’t keep doing things at the risk of your own wellbeing. Your happiness is as important as the people around you, Eunji, and I swear to you that the world will not end if you do one single thing for yourself.”

“It’s difficult,” Eunji said. She looked almost ashamed.

“I know it’s difficult for you, and again, I love that about you. Your selflessness is as much your weakness as it is your strength. I want you to smile, Eunji, but I don’t want you to smile because the people you love are happy. I want you to smile because you are happy. Can you do that?”

Eunji just stared at Naeun. Her eyes were teary, and Naeun realized with a jolt that this was probably the first time that she had seen Eunji crying. She grasped both of Eunji’s hands in her own and held them tightly. 

“Can you be selfish, Eunji?” Naeun asked again.

Eunji blinked, and a single tear fell from her eyes. She made no move to wipe it away; she just continued to gaze into Naeun’s eyes. Eunji’s expression was unreadable. Although Naeun knew that Eunji must have been thinking about her failed love with Chorong, there was something more in Eunji’s eyes.

After about a minute, Eunji squeezed Naeun’s hands back. She managed a small nod.

“I can,” she said. “I can be selfish.”