Jungeun looked out of the front window as the car slowly skidded into a stop. The clear blue windows that dominated the structure of the towering building, reflected the sunlight like mirrors. Despite her mother working at this hospital, Jungeun had rarely visited here. Nor she needed to come, which is good.

The only time she remembered coming here was when Jiwoo sprained her ankle from trying to execute various advanced forms of taekwondo kicks, when she had a really bad fever, and when she missed her mom so bad she wanted to see her. Her mother didn’t encourage her to visit because of how busy she is, and Jungeun knew that, so she was glad that at least that day her mother appreciated her visit. Jungeun didn’t make a habit of it though.

“Come follow me, ladies,” Mr. Kim said after they’d got out of the car and locked it.

Jungeun followed the father and daughter inside the hospital. She planned to excuse herself to look for her mother when they pass by the nurse counter. “I actually have to look for my mother first, Ajeossi. I’ll see–”

“I have a feeling she’s in my wife’s room,” Mr. Kim sent Jungeun a smile that hides amusement.

“What do you mean?” She asked. They passed the counter but Jungeun continued following them. If she’s being honest, she wanted to be with Jiwoo when she sees her mother. It’s obvious that her friend’s at distraught so she wanted to be there to give her at least some kind of comfort. If her mother is with Jiwoo’s mom then it’s possible for her to do that.

“Your mother kept visiting Jiwoo’s eomma, like—I’m not exaggerating—every hour.” They stepped inside an elevator, nodding greetings to the occupants. Jiwoo’s father punched in the floor number. Jungeun thought about his words. She rarely sees her mother and Jiwoo’s mother interact. Partly because her mother is rarely home herself and when she is, it’s on an unusual time. They may call each other friends, but not to the extent that she expected her mother to be so worried about Jiwoo’s mother. Visiting so often even with a job that requires so much of her time.

There will always be a part of her mother that she will never understand. She hoped that would change.

“But Ahjuma needs to rest though, right? Mother used to be a good nurse,” Jungeun shook her head, knowing Jiwoo’s father understood her sarcasm by his hearty chuckle.

“My wife… She’d be sleeping for a minute then suddenly awake in a second. I think you have some scolding to do, Jiwooming.”

Jiwoo pursed her lips. “Yes. Yes, I do.” Then she turned to her father. “But what about you, Abeoji?”

“Quite frankly, my dear. I’m scared of your mother.”

Soon, they’re standing in front of a patient-room door. They could see Jiwoo’s mother through the vertical white glass on the door. Jungeun saw a woman standing by the bed and she immediately knew it was her mother.

Jiwoo’s father knocked and opened the door. Before they could step inside, Jiwoo held Jungeun’s hand and Jungeun is glad she’s there for her. Jiwoo gave her a smile that says she’s glad Jungeun is there for her too.

The women who seemed to be in a deep conversation snapped their attention towards them. “Ah. Kim Jiwoo! And Jungie too?“ Mrs. Kim visibly brightened even at a surprisingly lively bright room. Jungeun expected it to be dull like what she saw in the hallway. Sunshine brought warmth to the air-conditioned room through the window. The bed colored powder blue and soft looking as Jiwoo’s mother lied down on it, reclined a little.

Immediately Jiwoo ran to hug her mother, “Eomma!”

Jungeun moved closer to her mother and gave her a hug herself. It was less vivacious and big as Jiwoo and her mother. But it is how they’ve always hugged, and it is Jungeun’s favorite hug in the world, well in exception of Jiwoo’s. They’re both at the top, not equal nor less favorable than each other.

“Jungeun. In Cheongju. Wow, you do keep your promises huh? Jiwoo?”

Jiwoo pulled away from her mother and beamed at Jungeun’s mother. “Of course, anything for you Mrs. Kim.” It’s weird to hear Jiwoo call her mother by her surname for one obvious reason that they have the same surname. Though, Jungeun is used to it by now.

“How about your mother, Jiwoo. It’s not anything for me?” Jiwoo’s mother said, a faux sad expression on her face.

Jiwoo’s stood beside her mother, planting her hands on her hips. Jungeun knew what’s about to come next, so she decided to remind Jiwoo of what she should be asking of her mother first before she gets to her nagging. If Jiwoo had become good at nagging it is because of none other than Jungeun. Jiwoo had to endure a lot of nagging from her. “Hello, Ajhuma. How are you feeling?”

“Nice of you to ask, dear. Despite the fear I’ve caused, I’m doing rather well. Ready to go home. Want to go home, actually.”

“Let’s leave that up to the doctor,” Jungeun’s mother patted Mrs. Kim’s leg. “Which reminded me, I have a job to do. I’ll come back later for your dose.” She walked to the small wooden table below the television just at the foot of the bed. She picked up the clipboard that was the only thing laid down on the table.

“I see. Then, we shall continue our conversation on another date.”

“We shall.” Jungeun’s mother gave Jungeun a kiss on the forehead. “The key is under the same pot,” she whispered to Jungeun before leaving the room. Jungeun smiled to herself, she should have known that her mother still hid the house key under one of the flower pots in their little garden.

“So…”

Jungeun waited for Jiwoo’s words. Watching emotions flashing her face. She’s worried, a little mad, sad, but what stood out of all is she’s scared.

“Eomma. This won’t happen again, right?” Jiwoo asked. Jungeun wanted to give her friend a hug at her little broken voice. But she couldn’t disrupt what’s happening between them. She stood closer to Jiwoo, hoping her presence is enough for comfort.

Mrs. Kim reached for her daughter’s hand. “I’m sorry, I’ve made you worry, sweetie. I should have been more watchful of my health.”

“I’ll make sure Dad is too. Watching for your wellbeing and his.”

“Ah yes,” Mr. Kim placed a comforting hand on Jiwoo’s shoulder. “I apologized too, my daughter. I shouldn't have introduced the wonders of flavorful roasted pig fat to your mother.”

“Roasted pig fat?” Jiwoo asked. Jungeun had her suspicion at the mention of the tasty delicacy, someone’s parents had liked it too much. Then, as if wanting to voice its opinion, Jungeun’s stomach growled. Lunch. She and Jiwoo haven’t had their lunch yet.

“Apparently, someone’s been eating them every day,” Mr. Kim muttered but he was close enough to Jiwoo for her daughter to understand him.

“Eomeoni…”

“I know. I had to sacrifice them,” she sighed heavily as if she’d lost something precious in her life.

“That’s not only it,” Mr. Kim said, wavering a little at the glare that her wife sent him. “Lately, she’s been sleeping late a lot. Many times, I’ve come home from my midnight patrol and she’s still awake.”

“Aish. You,” Mrs. Kim’s glare more pointed now. Then, she sighed. “Work has been demanding after word got out my daughter is a rising star—” Jungeun saw Jiwoo blushed at the word, smiling to herself at her friend’s adorable modesty. “—lots have been enrolling on my opera class. But you’re right, I shall rest when my body demands to.”

Jiwoo puffed out an air that blew her bangs. She fixed it as she spoke to her mom, “For now, I’ll let it go. But promise me, you’ll take care of yourself more, Eomma.”

“Wah! It’s like you’re the mother in here,” Mrs. Kim, the smile on her face removed negative conception from her words. “I promise, Jiwooming. Now, it’s my turn to do the nagging.”

Jungeun knew from experience that Mrs. Kim’s nagging doesn’t only extend towards her daughter but also included her daughter’s best friend and husband. “I must excuse myself, I need to go to the restroom,” she said. She smiled apologetically to Jiwoo even though she truly needed to take a wee.

“Coffee,” Mr. Kim said, already on his way out of the door. “I’m gonna get coffee. You girls want some?”

“I saw a vending machine, maybe a can of iced coffee?” Jiwoo recommended. She sent Jungeun a questioning look.

“Ah, yes. Iced mocha. Thank you very much.” Jungeun bowed to Mrs. Kim as she follows Mr. Kim out of the room. “Ajeossi, do you know where the restroom is?”

“Continue walking that way and then turn right, you’ll soon find signage. Ask around if you get lost on your way back, these corridors tend to look the same.”

She bowed and thanked him then they went opposite ways.

Jungeun followed Mr. Kim’s direction, taking notice of the repeating corridors, soon she found the restroom. Stepping inside, the smell of cleaning products greeted her. The large industrial lightbulb provided bright light to the windowless room. She avoided the wide glossy mirror as she stepped inside one of the cubicles. She knows her sleep-deprived state is noticeable. As she went out of the cubicle after doing her business, it was no longer possible to ignore how she looked. She washed her hands on the sink with sensor-faucet. The minimal makeup she had put on this morning did little to nothing to hide the tired lines under her eyes. She yawned then sniffed. Damn, she’s tired as heck.

She’s fine though. It’s not the first time she had to disobey her body clock. If that’s what it takes to accompany Jiwoo and make sure her friend is going to be okay, that’s fine by her. Plus, it’s past due for her to visit her hometown. She had thought about it, all those years in Seoul. Visit her home, her mother, and Jiwoo. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t ready.

Now though? She’s still not ready, but she’s getting there. She’d done the first steps—well Jiwoo made the first step, visiting Jungeun—but that was the headstart Jungeun didn’t know she needed. And now, she’s back home. She hoped everything follows through easily, even though she knew nothing is ever easy.

She almost got lost on her way back. She entered the room quietly, not wanting to interrupt the on-going conversation between the mother and daughter. She noticed the blush on Jiwoo’s cheeks and the timid way she glances down.

“That’s not true,” Jiwoo said under her breath.

“You’ve always been attached hip by hip—oh Jungeun. I was just telling my daughter here to go home and rest. It’s obvious you’re both tired—”

“Jungeun can go home,” Jiwoo turned towards Jungeun. “I’ll—I’ll be fine, Jungeun-ah. You can go if you want.”

Jungeun saw Mrs. Kim roll her eyes. “As I’ve said, Jungeun wouldn't want to leave you here,” she caught Jungeun’s eyes and Jungeun still feels the same anxiousness that crawls up her spine every time Jiwoo’s mother addresses her younger self. “Am I right, Jungeun?”

Jungeun glanced at Jiwoo, biting her lip when she refused to lock eyes with her. Jungeun decided an honest answer is the best answer in this scenario. She can’t lie to Mrs. Kim, that woman would be able to see through her. “I would like to stay here with Jiwoo.”

Mrs. Kim smiled smugly at her daughter. “See? Let’s wait for your father, then you ladies can go home and rest.”

Jiwoo sighed with her eyes closed. When she opened them, her eyes finally locked with Jungeun. A soft smile appeared in her face and Jungeun can’t help but return it.

“So… there’s still one question I haven’t asked you,” Mrs. Kim said, fixing her position on the bed. She sat taller and her gaze became sharper. “Have you met someone, Jiwoo? Is there a man you’re seeing there in Seoul?”

Jiwoo blinked at her mom. “Are you… are you serious?”

“Of course, I am. The last time you’ve dated a man was three years ago.”

Jungeun knew exactly what and who Mrs. Kim is talking about. It was the peak of how much angst she heart could take. If she was hurting at not being able to confess her love for best friend, she was dying when Jiwoo was accepting another man’s love. She was lucky she hadn’t seen them in an intimate moment, it would completely break her. Jungeun believed it was Jiwoo being considerate of her. She didn’t express much interest in that matter. She couldn’t see herself in a romantic relationship when all she thinks about is how amazing it would be to feel Jiwoo’s lips on hers. But her heart still ached every day at the thought of them together until Jungeun couldn’t take the pain anymore and left. Having focused on her own pain, Jungeun didn’t realize how much her disappearing act has caused pain to Jiwoo.

Lost in thought and the remainder of her past, she missed a few words from Mrs. Kim as she continued. Jiwoo remained silent. “—a lot of opportunities for you to meet someone there. And my daughter, you’re beautiful.”

“You know, I’ve signed a contract for the company, Eomma. I’m not allowed to date for a year at least.”

“But there must be someone you fancy?”

Jiwoo sighed, looking agitated more than ever. She wanted to reach out to Jiwoo even though she didn’t want any part of this conversation. “There’s no one, Eomeoni.”

“There must be a lot lining up for you, still. How about you, Jungie? You’re dating someone?”

Jungeun looked at Mrs. Kim, her eyes wide at being caught off guard. “Ah, no–no I’m not dating anyone, Mrs. Kim.”

“Geez. Time really has changed, huh? When I was at your age, we were set on looking for a husband to settle with. Oh well, I’m just confused why both gorgeous ladies like you two don’t have someone special in their life.”

“You and Appa are special to me,” Jiwoo said. Jungeun can see her jaw tightening. She’s starting to despise this conversation as much as Jungeun since the beginning. She wanted to yell, “I don’t want a man in my life, ‘cause I’m gay as that I puke rainbow every day—oh, by the way, I’m in love with your daughter.”

Mrs. Kim shook her head side to side, an amused smile on her face. “You are special to me, too. But that’s not what I mean, Jiwoo and you know it.”

“Jungeu—”

“Not that too, I’m sure Jungie would be there until you both have gray hairs. But you’ll meet some—”

Mr. Kim stepped inside the room bearing two cans of iced coffee and his own hot coffee, but Jungeun couldn’t care less, her mind stuck at Jiwoo’s words. She said my name, what do you mean Jiwoo? She didn’t know how to comprehend that. Maybe Jiwoo didn’t actually understand what her mother was trying to say and Jungeun knows she’s special in Jiwoo’s life but she didn’t know to what extent. Jungeun averted her eyes away from Jiwoo who’s glaring outside of the window. The sunshine upon her brown eyes lit up the fire in them. Jungeun shuddered.

“Here’s your mocha iced coffee, Jungie.” Jungeun choked out her thanks. Opening the can and gulping down the freezing drink. She regretted that immediately when brain-freeze attacked her.

Mrs. Kim relayed the plan of Jiwoo and Jungeun going home for a rest to Mr. Kim.

“I could drive you home?” Mr. Kim said.

Jiwoo kissed her father’s cheek. Her drink remained unopened in her hand. “No, we’re okay. I think we should eat lunch somewhere first anyways. I’m hungry.” Jiwoo reached for Jungeun’s hand, feeling the coldness of Jiwoo’s palm and fingers as it slides and intertwines with hers. “You agree?”

“Yeah–yeah, sure.” She nodded more than once then took a sip from her coffee.

“I see. Well, take care of yourself. I’ll see you home, Jiwoo.” Mr. Kim said.

Jiwoo pulled Jungeun closer to her when she moved back to Mrs. Kim's side. She planted a kiss on her mother’s cheek. “We’ll see you later tonight, Eomeoni.”

"No, I'll be fine tonight. Visit me tomorrow morning instead."

Jiwoo looked like she wanted to protest but nodded when Mrs. Kim gave her a pointed look.

“Goodbye, Mr. and Mrs. Kim.” Jungeun bowed and she and Jiwoo left the room.

“So, where should we eat?” Jungeun asked as they walk towards the elevator.

Jiwoo hummed for a second then grinned at Jungeun. “Do you remember Gochu Dumpling Soup House?”

Jungeun smiled at the mention of one of their favorite restaurants to eat at. “Do I?! Of course, I do. Let’s go there.”

 

OOO

 

“Are you sure, Jungeun?” Jiwoo asked as they sat on the dining table near the window. Unfortunately, the usual spot was taken. Jungeun ordered one of her favorite menus at this restaurant, which is a spicy dish. “You think you can eat it still?”

“Of course. There might not be a similar spicy dish like this in Seoul but I still eat spicy dishes from time to time. Jinsoul often orders spicy food when we eat at work.”

“I’m two hundred percent sure, Jinsoul knows how adorable you look flushed red from chest to ears.”

Jungeun cursed herself when she felt the familiar heat on her cheeks. Why do I have to blush so easily? She tried to hide using the menu on her hands but Jiwoo’s laugh could only mean she had seen it already. She laid the menu down on mahogany table, proudly wearing her blush.

“Why are you already starting to flush red?” Jiwoo asked.

Jungeun ignored the question. “We all know, Jinsoul just likes to laugh at me embodying a beetroot, just like you’re doing right now.” Jungeun glared at her which only earned a giggle from Jiwoo.

“That’s not true, I truly find you adorable. I’m laughing because you’re being too cute.”

Jungeun glanced out through the window as she takes a sip of water from her glass. Needing to take a moment to calm herself. It’s effortless for Jiwoo to make her heart flutter. Jungeun thinks it’s not fair. “That doesn’t make sense,” she said to Jiwoo when her heart decided to stop trying to leap towards Jiwoo’s hand.

“You’re telling me you haven’t once giggled or let out a little laugh when you’ve seen something adorable?”

Jungeun had. Plenty of times and that’s because of the woman who’s sitting in front of her. Jiwoo didn’t need to know that though. She sighed, accepting defeat. “I have.”

Winning their pointless arguments is a big thing for two of them, but Jiwoo’s gleeful grin was worth admitting her loss. “Softie,” Jiwoo whispered then giggled to herself.

“You said you meet Jinsoul unnie in college? How exactly did you meet?”

Jungeun can’t tell Jiwoo the one hundred percent truth of how she met Jungeun. How could she say to Jiwoo that Jinsoul made a mission to flirt with all of the pretty women in their class, on the first day, and Jinsoul thought she’s one of them?

“Uh, let’s just say she was shameless and stubborn. Kind of like you, actually.”

“Yah, what do you mean?”

“Well, I would have never met you two if you didn’t approach me first.”

Young Jiwoo introduced herself after she’d made Young Jungeun feel better about her scraped knee. Jinsoul introduced herself and admitted her mission to Jungeun... which made Jungeun wanted to be away from her as far as possible. She only decided Jinsoul was cool as a friend later on. Their first intention might be different from each other, yet both of them still approached Jungeun who everyone hesitated to approach.

“What can I get you, girls?” The store owner, an African-American named, Coretta King, walked up to their table. A stout woman extending limitless kindness towards them they should just call her their auntie. It feels like that when they were growing up. It’s still the same, the woman looked the same, just with more prominent laugh lines on her warm expression. “Let me rephrase that. What can I get you, ladies?” She sighed as she put a hand on her chest. “You two have really grown into beautiful women.”

“Are you saying we weren’t beautiful before, sajang-nim?” Jiwoo flashed a cheeky smile.

Mrs. King patted Jiwoo’s head. “Aigoo, still cute as ever, Jiwoo-ah. I bought your album, by the way.”

“Thank you,” Jiwoo said, extending the last syllable.

“And Jungeun here, gorgeous, gorgeous… still scaring off men?”

Jiwoo burst out laughing.

Jungeun sent them both a glare.

“It was an honest question. Remember, Park Min-jun? The jock kid who taught he can woo Ms. Kim Jungeun.”

Jungeun remembered the guy. He who believes spouting out poorly-timed sweet words and flexing his muscles could get him any girl he liked. One time, Jungeun made an effort to have a real conversation with him, Min-jun strikes with his sweet words again followed by a crooked smirk. Jungeun discovered the limit of her patience that day. Asked him if he had ever listened to a word she said and when he said yes, he only embarrassed himself as Jungeun asked him to repeat one thing she’d said to him.

“Throwing lines just like that don’t make it sweet, boy, it feels like I’ve just consumed expired chocolate. Ugh, please don’t talk to me again.” Jiwoo mock-imitated Jungeun, bursting out laughing again.

Jungeun leaned over the table to pinch Jiwoo’s arm, “I don’t talk like that.”

“He deserves it though, especially after those colorful words he spat in retaliation.”

Jungeun smirked. “Not the first time I was called the b-word.”

“But, you know,” Mrs. King tapped her notepad on the table. “Jungeun might have helped him. He’s one of the most eligible single men here now. I’ve heard women talk about him. Apparently, he’s one fine gentleman.”

“Good for him.” Jungeun ran a hand over her hair, wanting to change the topic already.

“Not going to give him a second ch—”

“Jungeun shouldn’t,” Jiwoo said. Their eyes locked for a second before Jiwoo averted her gaze around the room, seemingly cannot stay in one spot. Her pupils shaking. “I mean, Jungeun wouldn’t, knowing her, well, she—uhm…”

“Jiwoo’s right.” Jungeun decided to help Jiwoo deciding to think about her friend’s sudden weird behavior later. “Just because he has changed doesn’t mean I’m throwing myself at him.” Jungeun shivered in disgust at the thought. If she was to throw herself to someone, it would be someone who has plump pillowy boo—

Jungeun took a deep breath. Calm thy hormones, calm thy hormones.

Mrs. King placed her hand on Jungeun’s shoulder. Her smile held secrets that made Jungeun curious to know as well as fear having to know them. “I was just kidding, he and you wouldn’t look good together anyways. It’s just not right… Now, why am I here in the first place? Your orders, ladies.”