*knock knock*

“Come in”, Wheein called out lazily while lounging on the sofa, her head rested on Hyejin’s lap. The two young girls were enjoying a short break in silence when Yongsun checked their last recording. The seriousness when the oldest girl concentrated on something could easily scare anyone nearby that the girls all decided not to disturb whenever the leader was working.

“Oh Byulie-unnie, what brings you here?” Wheein sat up as soon as the door opened, her voice sounded both surprised and excited.

The familiar name never failed to make Yongsun’s heart flutter. She immediately stopped her current work and turned her head to the door, to see the one she adored stand there, smiling brightly. She unconsciously smiled too.

Yongsun always loved the way Byulyi smiled, the way her nose muscles crinkled, the way her Indian dimple popped out.

Byulyi’s smile was like a sedative, which could help Yongsun dispel every sorrow. Byulyi’s smile was what Yongsun cherished the most, and what Yongsun would protect at all costs.

A frown appeared on Yongsun’s face when her eyes fell on the big bags Byulyi was carrying. She immediately stood up from her seat but the two young girls, who were closer to the door than her, had already dashed to Byulyi’s side.

“Give me those bags unnie. They look heavy.” Hyejin took all the bags from Byulyi in a hurry.

“Hurry and take a sit unnie.” Wheein urged and led the older girl to the sofa. Byulyi looked a bit confused, she was still not used to those special treats.

“Why did you buy so many things unnie?” Hyejin gasped when she peeked into the bags which were filled with several kinds of snacks, fruits and drinks.

“I want to give some to Dohoon-samchon and the staff too. It’s been a while since I last saw them.” Byulyi replied and got up, leaving the two young girls who were fighting over a bag of honey butter snack behind.

Yongsun’s body tensed when she saw the younger girl slowly approaching her. Her heart beat faster and faster as Byulyi’s scent became stronger and stronger. Byulyi stopped right beside her and started to touch some random buttons. Yongsun breathed deeply, trying her best not to wrap her arms around the younger girl. She felt thankful that the maknaes were making so much noise that Byulyi was unable to hear her pounding heartbeat.

I’m weird

“I miss those things”, Byulyi mumbled with a smile. However, Yongsun noticed there was a ray of sadness at the corner of her eyes.

It’s more than a year

The last time Byulyi came in this room was also the last time they recorded a song together.

Their seven-year contract had ended last spring and they decided to sign another four-year contract. All of them did, except Byulyi. It was not something shocking or surprising to them, everyone who was close to Byulyi had expected it.

Being an idol was Byulyi’s dream when she was a teenager, but the younger girl had a bigger dream which she carried for her whole life. Byulyi was a typical family-oriented girl. The trips, the gifts, the tattoo for her family said it all. Byulyi loved her family more than everything, and she always dreamed of having a family like the one she was raised in. Byulyi always wanted to get married early, have at least three children like her mother. They all knew it, and they respected her dream, her choice.  

“Is it okay for you to go out? Did Junghoon-oppa know about it?” Wheein asked while sharing the snack with Hyejin. All three of them looked at Byulyi worriedly.  

“Oh no, not you too. He complained the whole evening yesterday. Why does everyone treat me like a kid?” Byulyi suddenly whined and stomped her feet in a childish manner, which surprised the others. “It’s not like I will die if I step out of the house tho. I’m gonna die from boredom first.” Her lower lip protruded in a sulky pout.

The three tried to hold back their laughter as they knew it only made the situation worse. They were still not used to this side of Byulyi.

“We’re just worried about you Byul-ah”, Yongsun said sincerely. The maknaes nodded their heads at the same time. But it seemed like Byulyi was not satisfied with the answer as the pout was still on her lips. The two young girls noticed it and got up from their seats, trying to help Yongsun coax their sulky unnie.

“Of course we’re soooo happy to see you Byulie-unnie”, Wheein hugged Byulyi’s arm and rubbed her head on the older girl’s shoulder cutely, imitating the cat she raised at home.

“We just don’t want you to get tired unnie”, Hyejin continued. “And my godchild here”, she added before touching Byulyi’s belly. Their attention all went to where the youngest girl’s hand was resting.

Under Byulyi’s thick coat, they could see something slightly protruding.

Byulyi’s child

“Yah Bokkie is not your godchild. Bokkie is my godchild!!” Wheein also put her hand there and glared at Hyejin, protesting what the youngest girl just claimed.

“Didn’t we all agree that I would be Bokkie’s godmother and you would be godmother for Byulie-unnie’s second kid??” Hyejin frowned, glaring back at her friend.   

“No. It was I would be godmother this time and next time would be your turn.” Wheein said firmly.

“I’m Bokkie’s godmother!!”

“You’re not!!! I am!”     

Their hands on Byulyi’s belly were taken back at the same time and landed on each other’s shoulders instead. The two young girls continued their argument with their foreheads bumping into each other. Yongsun and Byulyi shared a helpless smile while watching their maknaes arguing like two elementary kids. They were used to this scene already. The two close friends had been fighting over this stuff every single day for about two months, since the day Byulyi sent a photo of a positive pregnancy test strip to their group chat on Kakao.

Knowing that the fight would take a while, Yongsun took Byulyi’s hand and led her to the sofa as she was worried the younger girl might feel tired from standing for a long time. Byulyi then intertwined their fingers, which startled Yongsun a bit. It was an old habit of them, and Yongsun had used to feel nothing when they did it.

I’m so weird

They had done more intimate actions, but now just a simple action like this made her heart flutter.

And somehow… happy

Yongsun wished this moment could last forever.

Unfortunately, the sofa was only five steps away from them and once they reached there, Byulyi let go of her hand to take off the coat. Yongsun looked down at her hand, the one just holding Byulyi’s hand, she felt something missing. She then clenched that hand tightly, as if she was trying to keep something.

The warmth

The softness

The scent of Byulyi’s hand

She wanted to keep them forever.

“Oh your belly has become more obvious”, Wheein said all of a sudden, amused by her discovery. Their attention once again went to Byulyi. As the thick coat was taken off and there was only a thin sweater, they could have a better view of Byulyi’s small round baby bump. It looked like she had stuffed a small pillow under her sweater. Wheein and Hyejin immediately stopped fighting and ran to caress it affectionately.

Meanwhile, Yongsun just stared blankly. She wanted to touch it but at the same time, she was scared to touch it. She had never tried touching Byulyi’s belly.

Yongsun was scared to feel it,

To realize it was real,

To know something was growing inside Byulyi’s body.  

Byulyi’s child… But not my child

“I’ve gained 2kg in just one week”, Byulyi grumbled while leaning back. Yongsun could notice Byulyi’s cheeks were fuller than the last time they met. “I spend all day sleeping and eating. It’s so boring.”

“But isn’t it a good thing? You look much better than when we came to your housewarming party”, Hyejin commented and they all agreed.