“Hyung?”

Yoon’s careful tap brings Jinwoo back to his reality. They’re in the recording studio, Yoon has agreed to help him practice for recording. It’s 8PM and both Jinwoo and Yoon are not satisfied yet with the result.

“Hyung, what’s up? Is something bothering you?” Yoon looks at Jinwoo with genuine concern in his eyes. This hyung hasn’t been able to concentrate lately it’s kinda worrying him. He knows how sensitive Jinwoo is and how Jinwoo usually keeps things inside - Yoon knows how to be with Jinwoo. After all they both were together the longest together in WINNER, Yoon has seen Jinwoo in lowest low and highest high.

“Nothing, Seungyoona - I’m sorry.” Jinwoo shakes his head, cursing himself inside. What the is going on with me?! 

Yoon sighs, but he knows he can’t push Jinwoo to tell him things, when the time comes Jinwoo will come. He flips his note and start checking the lists he made there.

“Hyung, I think it’s good so far, your solo. Just need a bit refinement. We can do that another day, we have time.” He runs his slender fingers down the page. “For our B-side... Hyung. I was thinking of having more trainees in our song, just like what we did with AH YEAH. We could use some of the female trainees voice in this song, put in layers with your voice...I’ll make the harmony sounds pretty. What do you think?”

“Trainees?” Jinwoo lifts his brows, that word somehow hits him differently now.

“Yeah. I was thinking just couple of girls... probably Tami...” Yoon once again runs his fingers through a small list of names. “That girl with nice high notes... who... I think Yura?”

Jinwoo nods as he gulps his water. Tami... the tall girl from Taiwan - strong hip hop vibes. Yura, a sweet Seoul girl - coming from a wealthy family. 

“What about Daeun?” It comes out just like that, even Jinwoo surprises himself with that question. Yoon stops and think for awhile.

“Daeun will do too. Her high notes is good I heard, and her voice is so unique too. But I will need to hear it first, her tone mixed with your tone might be too much...” Yoon writes down Daeun’s name in the bottom of the list. 

“We have so many trainees these days.” Yoon closes his notebook and push it away. “It’s never easy being trainee.... especially here.”

Jinwoo smiles, looking at his youngest brother endearingly. This kid is one of the reason why he is here today. His fiery spirit, cheerful, kind, and cuteness always helps him to find joy in their everyday hardship, then and now. Yoon was always the top kid - he’s naturally talented - sing, dance, speaking, acting, brain, everything - ever since trainee day, where he came in after blowing up in Korea during Superstar K days. He really really can make it big alone without WINNER - hell, Jinwoo was there when management asking Yoon if he’s sure he wants to participate in WIN. Yoon already has his solo secured back then - and YG is open of keeping him as soloist. He remember how firm Yoon is - how he wants to be with his brothers - all 10 - despite knowing he could lose everything if he lost. He remember Yoon said that he lost enough people in his life and he doesn’t want to be alone anymore. Jinwoo remember thinking how foolish this kid is - but over time he can really see how invested Yoon is in their group relationship. 

“You tell me Seungyoona.” He stands up and plays around with Yoon’s hair. “We were once trainees too.”

“Sometimes I miss it Hyung.” Yoon looks up to him. “ I mean I love that we’re now sunbaes and we have certain freedom compared to back then. But back then, we were always together. We even slept together.” He giggled.

“Of course I remember that. It’s so hard to get you to wake up.” Yoon laughs at the memory of their early days. It’s always heartwarming.

“I’m hungry, Hyung.” He pouts cutely. Jinwoo laughs.

“Come on, I owe you dinner tonight.” Jinwoo takes his cap and wear it, as Yoon excitedly shrieks and starts shutting down all the equipment.

“Should we order take outs and eat with Hoony Hyung and Mino?” Yoon asks excitedly. Jinwoo shrugs, anything for him. “Are they even home though?”

“Let me check let me check...” Yoon immediately ping in their group chat. In a minute he got replies - Hoony saying yes he’s at home and hasn’t eaten yet - and Mino sending a cute stickers of a hungry bear. Yoon’s face lit up as they walk out the recording studio. Jinwoo watches as his youngest brother walk in light steps - he’s happy for such a simple thing - when once again it crossed his mind.... I can’t afford to ruin this. I can’t afford to lose this life.

 

Later that night...

Ding! The elevator rings when it arrived at Yoon & Hoon’s floor. Mino walks in, his head wrapped in hoodie. Jinwoo follows close behind, still in the same tracksuit he wore to recording earlier with Yoon. 

They just had dinner together in Yoon & Hoon’s unit, a couple floor above theirs. They had their regular take-outs - chicken, tteokbokki, noodles - cold beer for Mino and Yoon, and soju for Jinwoo. As usual, water only it is for Hoony. They had a great time sharing stories and all - especially Yoon, he clearly missed his hyungs. Hoony has been going out a lot lately with his old dance crews, Mino has always been the busiest bee amongst them all, and Jinwoo doesn’t really care if he has to spend time alone - he enjoys it anyway. Yoon doesn’t exactly have many friends - a bitter fact from his teenage years - and sometimes he gets lonely and feels down. After Thor he becomes a lot better, now he’s focused on his photography hobby and composing in his down time, but he really is the one who needs the hyungs the most. 

Mino presses their button to their floor, and a quiet air fills the space. Mino leans his head to the elevators wall as they slowly descended.

“Everything’s okay, Mino-ya?”

Jinwoo takes notice on how Mino looks a bit tired today, while he knows that Mino only stayed home today. Mino is usually life of the party especially combined with Yoon - they both are enough to make Jinwoo & Hoony laugh until their stomach hurts. Mino usually gain energy from their time together, yet it doesn’t seem like it tonight.

“Yes, Hyung.” Mino answered quietly. Jinwoo looks again at Mino - the way Mino lowers his head and leans against the elevator wall tells him that he is definitely not okay.

“What is it.”

Mino doesn’t answer. He fiddles with his fingers before taking a long sighs.

“Yena is angry with me.”

Jinwoo sighs. 

“How come.”

“She wants to date next week.. but you know Hyung. We have that shooting. I will also have my hair bleached soon, I can’t go out freely. I told her and she brings up everything again...” Mino’s voice gets lower and lower. Jinwoo knows how Mino adores Yena so much - but that girl can really induce stress for Mino. Most of the times Yena is content staying in a hidden relationship, but from time to time she will try her chance and ask for them to go public... which Mino is not ready for. None of WINNER boys are ready for it. While they know that they’re an older group now - about time they need to date - the fans reaction can’t be predicted sometimes. And they don’t want to risk losing fans... not again.

“Give her time, Mino-ya.” Jinwoo wraps his arms around Mino. He’s not one to give relationship advice but he knows that Mino needs comfort right now - to ease his anxiety.

“Don’t worry.” He pats Mino softly. Mino nods as he takes a deep breathe. The elevator rings open and they both step out and walk into their unit. Jinwoo punches the pin and they walk in - Jinwoo goes to grab a glass of water while Mino goes to the couch - and curls himself there. Jinwoo sighs - he really hopes Mino is okay - but he can’t really do anything. Jinwoo gulps his water and walks into his room - then walk back to the couch where Mino curls.

“She’s lonely, sleep with her.” Jinwoo softly lays Jhonny next to Mino, who automatically opens his arms to receive the feline. The warm and soft purr of Jhonny suddenly offers comfort to Mino, as the cat lays there, as if she understands Mino only needs her tonight. Mino hugs Jhonny as Jinwoo walks back into his room and locking it from inside.

Love, dating, relationship.... it’s not meant for us. Not for idols. It’s the price we have to pay for fame.