Yena tapped her finger on her desk. It was Christmas morning, one of her favourite times of the year and yet she felt like something was missing. 

Yes, it may have been the fact that she wasn’t with her other members but it’s been like that for almost 2 months now. This feeling of emptiness was different to the one she’d been having from being away from her other Iz*one members. 

Speaking of her members, her phone started to light up from someone calling to facetime her. Yena smiled brightly when she saw who it was. 

‘Chaeyeon ah! You missed me that much?’ 

Chaeyeon rolled her eyes. She was sitting in bed while cuddling her dog, having just finished cooking up a breakfast feast for her family with Chaeryeong and Chaemin. 

‘I just wanted to say Merry Christmas, duck.’ Chaeyeon said. ‘Did you get a present from your Secret Santa yet?’ 

‘Nope.’ Yena said. ‘What about you?’ 

Chaeyeon held up a knife which got Yena jumping away from her screen a little bit. The sight of her with such a dangerous weapon scared Yena. ‘Yup. It was Chaewon.’ 

‘A knife?’ Yena laughed. ‘That’s kind of scary.’ 

‘It’s a personalised cooking knife.’ Chaeyeon brought the knife closer to the screen. ‘See? It has Izone Chaeyeon written on it.’ 

‘Oh!’ Yena said. ‘That’s actually really nice. Now you can keep cooking for me! I mean… us.’ 

Chaeyeon laughed. ‘Sure, I will cook for you. Because, surprise! I’m your Secret Santa.’ 

Yena sat up straighter, brightening up. ‘Really?’ 

‘Mhmm.’ Chaeyeon said, nodding her head. ‘Merry Christmas! This is your present!’

Yena stared at Chaeyeon inquisitively. ‘Huh?’ 

‘The chance to talk to me, of course. I know you missed me so here’s some Chaeyeon time.’ 

Yena couldn’t help but blink at the screen. ‘O-oh. I… uh… thank you?’ 

Yena was glad that someone else got a joke present. After seeing the presents some of her other members got, Yena felt a little bad that she got Yujin something that she couldn’t use. 

The expensive foreign eyeshadow set Hitomi got for Wonyoung and the Bread Top giftcard plus dress Yuri bought for Hitomi made Yena’s pacifier she bought for Yujin look kind of mean. Especially since she knew what Hyewon’s present for her person was. 

Ah well. At least Yena also gave Yujin chocolate…. and she may or may not have bought baby food to accompany the pacifier. This was Yena’s very strange way of telling Yujin that she’s her baby. 

Chaeyeon let out a laugh. ‘I’m kidding.’ 

Just then, Yena’s doorbell rang and Chaeyeon smiled brightly. 

‘I think that’s my actual Christmas present.’ Chaeyeon said. ‘You should open the door. Bye, unnie! See you soon.’ 

Then she hung up and Yena was left staring at her reflection on the blank screen. 

Yena shrugged and made her way to her front door, yelling to her parents that she’ll get it. 

She didn’t know what she expected as her present, but when she opened the door her entire world stopped and she broke out into the largest grin, her cheeks starting to wrinkle. There was no way this could have been Chaeyeon’s present. But then again, it was Chaeyeon, anything was possible with that girl. 

‘Oppa!’ 

Yeah, she definitely had to get Yujin a better present.

…………

At Minjoo’s house, she sat in front of her present from her secret Santa. Sakura was by her side, as she couldn’t make it home to Japan for Christmas. Minjoo volunteered, seeing as she was Sakura’s secret Santa, anyways. Nako and Hitomi were also staying with their respective Secret Santas. 

In the Izone group chat, she saw that Yena had sent a picture of her and her parents with her older brother who was clad in his military uniform. All four of them never looked happier. Yena’s accompanying text message was ‘Thank you Santa Chaeyeon!’ 

There was also a picture from Yuri of her present, which was a customised ukulele in all of their colors, similar to the design of their official lightstick. Her Secret Santa was Nako.

Nako, on the other hand, had received a pretty necklace from Yujin. Nako also claimed that there was a wonderful and mushy heartfelt card from Yujin, earning a series of complaints from Yujin who insisted that Nako was only making that part up. 

‘Who were you Secret Santa for, unnie?’ Minjoo said. 

‘Chaewon.’ Sakura replied. ‘It was really hard to buy for her, I don’t really know what she likes.’ 

‘Chaewon enjoys presents whatever they are. I’m sure she’ll love whatever you get her.’ Minjoo assured Sakura. ‘What did you get?’ 

Sakura took out her phone and showed Minjoo a picture. It was a white Adidas hoodie with an accompanying stain remover. 

‘I remembered that time when Yuri stained Chaewon’s hoodie that actually belonged to Eunbi unnie.’ Sakura said. ‘So, I got her her own white hoodie so she doesn’t have to borrow others.’

(But if Sakura were to be completely honest, she got the hoodie for Chaewon because she thought Chaewon looked really good in a hoodie. Chaewon was her oshi of the month, anyways). 

‘That’s a really nice gift for Chaewon, unnie.’ Minjoo said. 

Sakura had been feeling a little worried that Chaewon wouldn’t like her gift, but hearing Minjoo the angel assuring her, Sakura’s worries melted away. 

‘Open yours!’ Sakura pushed Minjoo’s gift into her hand. 

‘Okay, okay.’ Minjoo giggled. 

She opened the card first as she was interested to know who it was from. 

Dear Minjoo, 

Merry Christmas! 

I am so happy that you are in a group with me. Everyone is blessed by your angel-like looks. 

But, I hope you know that you’re more than just Izone’s pretty face. You have a special gift that I think you should keep working on, it’s a great talent. 

This is why I got you what I got, I hope you use it a lot. 

Here’s to another year together! 

Love from your Secret Santa,

Eunbi unnie

Eunbi‘s card brought a tear Minjoo’s eye. Leave it to their leader to make her emotional on Christmas. Now she was incredibly curious about her present. What special gift and talent did Eunbi think Minjoo had? 

When she ripped open the present more tears started to fall. 

It was a notebook. More specifically, a songwriting notebook. 

On the first page Eunbi had written: ‘Happy writing, our songwriter Minjoo!’ 

Minjoo laid a head on Sakura’s shoulder who pat her back and handed her a tissue. 

‘I’m sorry for crying on Christmas morning.’ Minjoo laughed through her tears. ‘I’m just really touched, Eunbi gets me.’ 

‘We have the best leader ever.’ Sakura said.

………..

It was afternoon and Eunbi was sitting alone in her bedroom. She was recovering from the huge brunch she had with her parents. Here comes all the weight that she had been trying to lose.

She really wondered where her Secret Santa was. From the group chat she had seen that everyone had received their gift and they all looked really nice and thoughtful. Eunbi had to admit that she wasn’t too impressed with Yena’s choice of gift for Yujin, but her mushy and heartfelt (and embarrassing) video message dedicated to Yujin made up for it. There was nothing that made Yujin happier than having Yena clowned, and Yena had set the group chat alight with that video message. She probably will never live it down. 

From what she gathered, her Secret Santa could be Wonyoung, Minjoo or Hyewon. They were the only ones who haven’t given their present yet. 

Eunbi‘s phone lit up again, there was a new text on the Izone group chat. 

Nevermind, she could scratch Minjoo off the list. She was Sakura’s Secret Santa. The girl had bought her ‘The Revefestival’ finale and a strange looking photocard. 

‘Is that… Slenderman?’ Eunbi zoomed in on the photocard. Apparently, everyone else in the group chat had the same thoughts as her as there were a chorus of ‘Slenderman?’ throughout the whole chat. There was even a ‘Slenderman sunbaenim?’ from Hitomi that had everyone in stitches. 

Sakura then wrote back with a bunch of angry emojis, ‘That’s Irene you uncultured swines!!!’

Eunbi nodded in understanding. ‘Makes sense.’ 

Eunbi traced a crack on her wall. She was thankful for the Christmas season, she really was. The presents she had received from her parents and friends were incredibly nice and she was grateful for them all, but Eunbi couldn’t get rid of the nagging feeling in the back of her head that’s been weighing her down for awhile.

Truthfully, the whole Produce controversy had been affecting her more than she’d been letting on. She’d been pushing back these feelings for the sake of her group members, trying to be a good foundation for them to lean on. 

Eunbi couldn’t help that feeling that she wasn’t meant to be in the group. Not releasing the real results to the public and them was a good decision, but it kept Eunbi wondering. 

What if she wasn’t meant to be in Izone? What if she actually placed outside of that Top 12? What if she was only put into Izone because they felt sorry for her, that she was so old and had a failed debut? Eunbi couldn’t help these feelings. 

She felt like a hypocrite, when the other members would come to her bearing these same thoughts about themselves and she would assure them that yes, they are meant to be in izone, that they’re irreplaceable. She felt like a hypocrite because she believed wholeheartedly for her other members, but not for herself. 

Eunbi shook her head to rid herself of such thoughts.

‘It’s Christmas, Eunbi. Stop thinking like that.’ 

But, of course, just because you said it out loud never meant that you would do it. 

Eunbi was thankful that her doorbell rang right at that moment. Anything to distract her from her thoughts. 

She was even more thankful when she opened the door to reveal Hyewon shivering in her puffer jacket. 

‘Merry Christmas, unnie.’ Hyewon said. 

Eunbi laughed. ‘So, you’re my Secret Santa! That means Wonyoung was your Secret Santa?’ 

Hyewon nodded. ‘She got me a huge teddy bear to cuddle when none of you guys want to.’ 

Eunbi laughed again knowing full well that there was never a time when another member of Izone didn’t want cuddles. 

‘So, what took you so long?’ Eunbi said. 

Hyewon smiled. ‘Well… my gift sort of had a longer… shipping?’ 

Eunbi raised an eyebrow. 

‘Just close your eyes.’ Hyewon said. 

Eunbi happily obliged. She was really interested as to what Hyewon got for her. Hyewon was quite unpredictable at times. 

She had counted up to eleven when Hyewon spoke again. 

‘Okay, you can open your eyes now.’ 

When Eunbi opened her eyes, her heart swelled. 

‘Hana, dul, set!’ Hyewon said. 

‘Eyes on me!’ 

‘Watch when we get together and we become one!’ 

Standing behind Hyewon were none other than the rest of Izone. They were all shivering in their puffer jackets but the bright smiles weren’t disappearing from their faces. 

Eunbi was right, Hyewon was completely unpredictable. All Eunbi knew was that she had a huge heart that loved each of the members as much as Eunbi did. 

‘Merry Christmas, Eunbi unnie!’ 

And as she was engulfed by the eleven people she treasured the most, Eunbi knew that this was where she belonged. This was definitely where she was meant to be.