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This was absurd. Who would actually consider doing a holiday cleaning over the holidays? Jinyoung grumbles to himself, meanwhile, briefly scanning the paper he picks up off his desk before tossing it into the trash. He would rather spend today’s free day off work lazing in bed until the afternoon. In reality, he got woken up at nine in the morning by his aunt with a pillow to his face. Organizing his desk did not take a whole lot of time. He usually kept his desk and room pretty neat and clean, therefore, he didn’t see the reason why he had to join in on the crazy ritual of holiday cleaning.

“Jinyoung hyung, remember those DVDs I borrowed from you?” A voice came from his bedroom door. Looking up from his desk Jinyoung narrows his eyes to his cousin, Kim Yugyeom.

“No, I do not recollect ever lending you anything.”

“Well,” Yugyeom draws out pulling out a small stack of DVDs he hid behind him. “It’s right here. I’m just going to set them on your desk.” The younger male says sheepishly as he made his way in.

Jinyoung rolls his eyes moving to work at sorting out his clothes in his closet, “I don’t understand why you guys have this holiday cleaning. There’s spring cleaning you know? When it is done during the spring.”

“Well, you’re living under our household and if you don’t like it you can always leave hyung.” Yugyeom teases sticking out his tongue.

“Real mature for a sophomore in college.” Jinyoung retorts back shaking his head. “You know I can’t afford an apartment yet, and besides where you guys live is pretty close to where I work. It’s convenient.”

“Well then stop complaining.”

“Yah!”

Before Jinyoung can chuck the hanger in his hand at his younger cousin, the tall male already dashed out of his door. Cackling down the hallway back to his room. Jinyoung mutters ‘twerp’ under his breath as he goes back to sorting out the clothes he wants and doesn’t anymore. Working his way through the closet Jinyoung moves to take down the items he stored up on the shelf. Pulling out empty shoe boxes he encounters a familiar small plain brown box he had forgotten about. Life kept him busy so there wasn’t much chance for it to be used again. Perhaps it was a good thing? Taking the box in his hands he puts it on top of his desk.

Jinyoung lets out an uneasy breath unsure if he should even look at the contents of this box or just burn it. This was a special box filled with letters of words left unsaid to the ones Jinyoung had ever loved. When he wants to put a crush or a relationship behind him he writes them a letter, signed, dated, addressed, but never sent. It is for the best anyways. Some things were best left hidden in the dark.

“Jinyoung hyung!” Yugyeom’s voice booms from the hallway startling Jinyoung from his thoughts. His cousin’s face pops out once more from the doorway, “Mom says she’s ordering pizza for lunch.”

“Okay, tell auntie that’s fine with me.” Giving a brief reply he notices his young cousin staying rooted in his spot unmoving. “Why aren’t you going?”

“Mom wants you to go buy it.”

Putting his hands on his hips Jinyoung asks, “Why can’t you go? You know how to drive.”

“Mom ordered you to do it, duh.”

Heaving a sigh Jinyoung goes to grab his keys and pick up a jacket on his coat rack. He mutters death threats about his cousin as he walks past him to go down the stairs. Yugyeom can only smile as he bids his older cousin goodbye. Just as he was about to leave he spotted the box his hyung was staring off into space with. Arching an eyebrow up as the box pique his interest he steps into the room to take a look. 

It was two days after the holiday cleaning when his nightmare began. Jinyoung was at work, working on his latest journal article he had to revise before submitting it to be published when he received a call. Glancing at the caller ID he didn’t think much of it since it was from his best friend. Sending his best friend straight to voicemail he quickly sends a text message that he can’t talk right now. Seconds later he receives a reply back telling him to call him when he gets the time.

When his lunch break came around Jinyoung stood up from his cubicle to stretch his body. He grabs his phone before leaving for lunch. Making his way out of the office building Jinyoung dials his best friend’s phone number remembering to call him. The line picked up on the second ring right when Jinyoung got inside his car.

“Hey, why did you call earlier?” Jinyoung asks buckling himself in his seat before starting his car. There was an awkward silence on the other line, “Jaebeom, are you there?”

His best friend clears his throat on the other line, “I-I appreciate your love Jinyoung, I mean you’re like a brother to me. But...you do understand why it’s never going to happen, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Jaebeom. Is this some sort of prank you’re trying to pull on me?” Jinyoung asks with a smile as he puts his best friend on the speaker of his car.

“The letter Jinyoung,” Jaebeom replies back, his tone indicating he was a bit on edge.

“What letter?” He asks as he looks through his rearview mirror to back out of the parking lot.

“The letter you wrote to me seven years ago.”

Jinyoung slams on his break jolting him in his seat. His heart was pounding. Did he hear right? “Wh-what did you say?” He asks feeling himself going weak.

“The letter you wrote to me seven years ago.”

Jinyoung thinks he’s about to faint, his knuckles turn white as he squeezes the car wheel in his grasp. “I-I got to go.” Before his best friend could say anything more he ends the call. He had just lost his appetite as he races out of the parking lot to go home. 

‘Please don’t let this be true. Please don’t let this be true.’ Jinyoung chants this under his breath over and over again as he races back home. Pulling up into the driveway he quickly parks and dashes to the front door and then up the stairs to his bedroom. Opening his closet door he grabs the small brown box containing his letters inside and threw the lid off. To his horror, the three letters he had written were gone.

This can’t be happening.

Jinyoung has a unique way of moving on with his feelings. He likes to write a letter to the boy he's ever loved. These letters were signed, dated, and addressed, but were never to be sent. That is until someone sent them out for him.

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