“I came as fast as I could,” Mino chimes in.

He comes in without knocking. It’s fine, only because it’s Mino.

It’s a bit of work for him to untie his boots and leave them by the door, but soon he joins Jinwoo on the couch.

“No more moping around, okay? Let’s see what we can do to change things.” Despite the firm statement, Mino’s voice is gentle. Despite the teasing, Mino paps Jinwoo’s head sympathetically.

“So she called,” Mino starts.

“She called,” Jinwoo confirms.

Mino nudges him. “And?”

“And…” Jinwoo buries his face in his hands. “She wants to meet up.”

“A date!?” Mino claps his hands in celebration, smiling widely. “Hyung that’s great! It took a while, but I told you things would be well--”

“It’s not great news!” Jinwoo snaps, to Mino’s surprise.

Jinwoo hugs his knees and puts his forehead on top of them. “I shouldn’t have done this, any of this.”

Mino twists in his spot, lifts his thigh onto the couch in order to be able to face Jinwoo. “What’s going on? Isn’t this what we wanted? You get the number, get the call, go on a date… Just like we planned.”

Jinwoo shakes his head. “I shouldn’t have listened to you, I—I’m doomed. I haven’t been on a date for so long—” He takes a deep breath. “Besides, I only got this far because you told me what to do. What if she hates me, what if she hates me for who I am? I’ll embarrass myself no doubt, I’ll—I don’t know how to talk to girls, I don’t know how to talk to anyone—”

“Hey, hey, you’re rambling,” Mino cuts him off, voice still gentle. “You’re fortune telling. You don’t know how things will turn out. Take a deep breath.”

Jinwoo is a tiny bundle of misery. He curls up more, his fists clench tighter as he grips his own sleeves. Mino wraps his arm around the little ball that is Jinwoo and rests his head on top of his.

Paradoxical as may be, but being pressed like this helps Jinwoo breathe. It helps, only because it’s Mino.

“Dating isn’t an extreme sport, anyone can do it.” Jinwoo lifts his head the tiniest bit, just enough for it to be easier for Mino to his hair while still holding him. “I just helped you get started. She fell for your charm! That’s why she agreed to go out with you. It was all you, hyung. I just gave you a bit of advice.”

Jinwoo sniffles. When he closes his eyes a tear that was caught in his lashes falls onto his cheek and Mino is quick to wipe it away with a gentle hand.

“It’s a cliché but it’s true, you need to be yourself. But the catch is that you need to try to be the best version of yourself.”

Jinwoo pulls away to be able to look up at Mino. “I don’t know how to do that.” His voice cracks and he averts his gaze.

Mino smiles. “It takes time I’m afraid.”

Jinwoo’s bottom lip immediately begins to curl into a pout and more sparkling drops get caught in his eyelashes. “Well then how am I supposed to—”

“Hyung, breathe,” Mino reminds. He cups Jinwoo’s cheeks to create and keep eye contact and make Jinwoo stay focused. “There are still things you can do. You won’t stop being shy overnight but you can do lots to help yourself.”

Looking at Mino wide-eyed, Jinwoo just keeps sniffling. Mino squeezes his cheeks in hopes of cheering him up. “Let’s start simple,” he says. “Let’s find you something to wear.”

Jinwoo lets Mino take his hand and lead him to the bedroom. He makes sure to stay behind as they walk, so that Mino can’t see the tears welling up in his eyes, so that he has some time to wipe them away.

Jinwoo sits on the bed, legs crossed at the ankles, hands clasped together in his lap. Mino gets to work. He stands in front of Jinwoo’s open closet, pouting in concentration, tapping his chin with his index finger.

Jinwoo exhales through the nose, uncrosses his legs and begins to swing his feet while Mino digs through his clothes.

“Got it!” Mino exclaims and Jinwoo’s head snaps up.

What Mino’s holding are a black button-up, a pair of red pants and a matching red blazer.

Jinwoo presses his palms to his cheeks. “Won’t I be a bit overdressed?”

“Absolutely not,” Mino says. “Have you seen girls recently? They put so much effort into their appearance, why shouldn’t you? When you’re dressed well, you feel well.” As he hands Jinwoo the clothes to try on the spot Mino adds, “Besides, I know how to make it look more casual.” He smiles.

Jinwoo, however, is still pouting. “Did you just imply I don’t take care of my appearance?”

Mino laughs, shaking his head. He rests his hands on Jinwoo’s shoulders. “Of course not! You know I love your style. I’m just here to give it a boost.” He paps Jinwoo’s head. “Now try the fit on!”

Mino plops onto the bed, props his head up on his elbow so that he’s facing away from Jinwoo. This is as much privacy as he needs, but only because it’s Mino.

Once he’s dressed, Jinwoo stands in the middle of the room awkwardly and clears his throat. Mino jumps up from the bed, much more excited about this whole thing than Jinwoo.

Laying his eyes on his hyung, Mino smiles brightly. “Almost perfect. If I may,” he steps closer and s the one red button on Jinwoo’s blazer, then he begins to undo the buttons of his shirt too.

Blood rushes to Jinwoo’s face and he grabs Mino’s wrist.

He only smiles. “Trust me.”

Blushing madly, Jinwoo lets go of Mino’s hand and lets him open his shirt nearly halfway. Mino then takes Jinwoo by the shoulders and stirs him towards the mirror.

“See? You look perfect.”

Faced with the mirror, Jinwoo can’t stop fidgeting with the edge of his sleeve. He blinks, looks closer, straightens up a little. He has to admit, his collarbone looks nice exposed like this. He never should’ve doubted Mino.

Mino doesn’t take his eyes off of Jinwoo, following his reaction closely.

“The only thing we could add now are a few accessories and…” Mino gently pulls Jinwoo’s bangs back. “If you parted your hair down the middle, it would really complete the look.”

Mino removes his hand and when Jinwoo nods, his bangs flop back over his forehead.

“So we have the fit,” Mino says, stepping away from Jinwoo to have one more look at him.

“Mino…” Jinwoo whines. “I’m still—”

“I know, I know.” He nods wisely. “We have the fit, do you know where you’re going?”

Jinwoo nods. Coffee shop date. He doesn’t say it, he doesn’t find it necessary. Besides, he doesn’t want to speak only to hear his voice come out weak and pathetic.

“Great!” Mino says. “You know where you’re going so you know what you’ll be doing. What else can we go over?”

“I still—can’t talk to girls,” Jinwoo sighs.

Mino’s gaze is sympathetic. He steps closer again, takes Jinwoo’s face in his hands. “I’m sorry, hyung, but you need more than a week to work on your self-esteem. That won’t make this date go badly though! All you need to do is not sabotage yourself and try to relax a little. Do your best on those two points—it’s a start!”

Jinwoo nods, still uncertain. He pulls away from Mino’s hold, and instead rests his forehead on Mino’s shoulder.

“What if she expects me to kiss her?” He whispers. “What if she tries to kiss me?”

Mino laughs, deep, from his chest. Jinwoo can feel the little vibrations in his own body. Mino pets Jinwoo’s head sympathetically. “Well… Truth be told… I don’t think I can help by telling you what to do. I mean—you already know how to kiss right? From movies, books…” He clears his throat. “You really just need to practice.”

“How am I supposed to practice?” Jinwoo asks irritably. “With her? It’s going to be our first kiss! I can’t practice on our first kiss!” He shakes his head, still pressed against Mino’s shoulder. “She’ll hate it—she’ll hate me.”

“Hey, hey, chill out,” Mino says softly. “It’s just kissing, man. Do you want to practice with me?”

Jinwoo freezes. He straightens up, slowly, and lifts his head to look at Mino. “Would you? Would that be okay?”

Mino only smiles brightly. “Of course! Anything to help you feel more at ease.”

“Okay…” Jinwoo mumbles. He doesn’t move. His skin is tingling, and it’s suddenly difficult to keep his arms from trembling. Shivers run down Jinwoo’s spine, and again, and again. Be it the trembling, be it the shivers, Jinwoo still can’t move.

The way Mino holds Jinwoo’s waist is way too casual, it’s way too easy for him to pull Jinwoo in. He nearly pushes back on instinct.

Mino is so close, Jinwoo can smell his cherry chapstick.

“You okay?” He asks.

Jinwoo nods. “..a little nervous.”

“You’re still up for this?”

Jinwoo nods again, this time looking up at Mino.

“It’ll be fine. You just gotta… do it. It’s the best way to learn.”

Yet again, Jinwoo only nods. He swallows. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands so he just clings to Mino’s sleeves.

Mino cups Jinwoo’s cheek. He holds Jinwoo’s waist tightly.

“Don’t be nervous,” he says with a smile. “It’s just me.”

“Just you,” Jinwoo whispers.

Mino is the one to lean in, because Jinwoo still can’t move.

The first thing Jinwoo notices is the press of his lip ring. The second thing he notices is how soft his lips are. But beyond that, Jinwoo is lost. The entire time he is hardly aware of anything, except for the very small, very prominent details, like Mino’s hand that has moved to the small of Jinwoo’s back.

However when Mino’s lips part Jinwoo’s, once Jinwoo can feel his tongue, he becomes aware of everything all at once.

It doesn’t last long. They both pull away at the same time, abruptly letting go of each other.

“You’re much better at it than you think,” Mino says breathlessly. Why is he breathless? This is nothing like the Mino Jinwoo knows so well.

“You’re just—” He ducks his head and wipes his mouth. Only then does he meet eyes with Jinwoo. “You’re too passive. You should try to do what I was doing just now, you know? Be a little bit more assertive.”

Jinwoo blinks. He wonders if Mino means on the other person’s bottom lip, or being the one to push his tongue into the other person’s mouth, or maybe being the one to hold the other person, pulling them closer the entire time? Probably all.

“I can try,” Jinwoo says, despite still being a little perplexed.

“Here…” Mino steps back, puts his hands behind his back and leans against the wall. “I won’t move. I won’t do anything this time.”

“Okay.” Jinwoo steps forward shakily. With this new position, with how much he’s trembling, he doesn’t think he can hold Mino the way he held him. Prioritizing keeping himself upright, Jinwoo rests his forearm against the wall, next to Mino’s head. This is how they sometimes do it in movies…

Then he leans in, slowly.

For a second he forgets that he’s supposed to be the one taking the lead, so after an awkward moment of inertia, Jinwoo goes all in as if to compensate.

Mino’s little wince makes Jinwoo think that he did something wrong. Maybe he took Mino’s lip ring between his lips a bit too suddenly, maybe he pulled too hard. Afraid that that is the case, he begins to lean away.

Immediately, Mino pulls him back in.

And something goes off in Jinwoo’s brain. Something feels off. The air in the room has changed, grew more stuffy and hot. But even though his throat is closing up, Jinwoo doesn’t want to pull away. He loves the way Mino opens his mouth for him, he loves Mino’s hot breaths and the way he clings to Jinwoo’s sleeve.

They pull away only when they both need to stop to breathe.

Once again ducking his head to wipe his mouth, Mino says, “I think you’re doing great.” His voice is a bit deeper than usual, it nearly startles Jinwoo.

“Thank you,” he stutters.

Mino straightens up, although still leaning against the wall. “You’re still a bit stiff.” He clears his throat and when he speaks again, his voice is mostly back to normal. “You should… try holding her waist.”

Mino takes Jinwoo’s wrist and guides his hand to his own waist. “Like this,” he says. “You could also touch her hair or hold her face…” He now takes Jinwoo’s other hand, guides it to his face. Jinwoo swallows. He cups Mino’s cheek, with Mino’s own hand still holding his.

“Like this,” he whispers. “Girls like that.”

Jinwoo nods. “Thank you… For showing me—for being here.”

“Anytime.” Mino is breathless again, why? Jinwoo has never seen him this… out of it.

“Are you okay?” Jinwoo asks. Subconsciously, he squeezes Mino’s waist.

He suddenly straightens up and steps back, ripping himself from Jinwoo’s hold. “Mhm—yeah! I was just… Is there anything else you need help with?”

Jinwoo stops to think about it. “No, I don’t think so…”

“Great, then! We can watch a movie or something?”

Jinwoo agrees to this.

* * *

Mino has always been there for Jinwoo when he needed him most and now was no exception. He came over, helped Jinwoo fix up his outfit, did his hair for him.

He was behind Jinwoo as they both stood in front of the mirror, with his chin rested on Jinwoo’s shoulder.

“You look lovely,” Mino whispered.

In that moment what Jinwoo felt wasn’t only anxiety gripping his chest. It was something else, something he couldn’t quite identity. All he knew was that his heart was pounding and warmth lingered everywhere Mino happened to have touched him.

But ultimately Mino had to leave. He had a thing with his friends. Jinwoo didn’t mind. He was grateful for all he’d done already.

That was hours ago. Jinwoo is now walking back home, letting his thoughts settle after his date.

It was… odd, to say the least. Nothing like he’d imagined, nothing like what Mino had made him think it might be.

There was no final kiss.

There was no kiss, because, by the end of the date, Jinwoo felt like he had hung out with a friend. A very good one, the kind of friend you feel might be your platonic soulmate, but a friend nonetheless.

He didn’t want to kiss her, not because there was anything wrong, but because he simply didn’t feel the need to. There was no… chemistry.

It appeared that this feeling was mutual.

When they were parting ways, she said, “I can see that your mind is elsewhere. I really enjoyed our date… but let’s keep seeing each other as friends.”

This about sums it up.

Jinwoo is anxious to talk to Mino about this. The anticipation builds, knowing that they won’t be able to talk for a while as Mino is out with friends. He will probably be unavailable the next morning as well.

“Jinwoo!”

He whips around, eyes wide. There is Mino, right there, jogging to catch up with him from the direction of a bar he passed.

Jinwoo… he passed someone tying their shoelaces on the street, barely noticed them. Was that Mino?

The younger stumbles into Jinwoo and clumsily wraps his arms around him. He smells of nicotine and alcohol, not unusual for outings with his friends.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Mino greets with a big smile. Jinwoo says it back. Mino continues, “Going home already? Is the date over?”

Jinwoo nods, a little lost.

Mino’s eyes are bright, his smile widens. “And? How’d it go?”

Jinwoo blanks. His throat closes up, but Mino doesn’t notice. He’s quick to speak again, “You know what, why don’t you join us for a drink and you’ll tell me everything.”

Usually Jinwoo would refuse immediately. He isn’t all that comfortable sitting with Mino’s friends whom he doesn’t know well at all, nor are bars and clubs really his kind of place. But now… Maybe it’s the outfit. Jinwoo noticed it back during the date, that Mino was right when he said that clothes can elevate one’s confidence.

But maybe he just wants to talk to Mino so badly that he is willing to overlook his own anxiousness.

He lets Mino lead him inside.

The air is stuffy, filled with smoke that clouds the vision. The space is dimly lit with colourful lights and neon signs along the walls. Jinwoo appreciates the darkness, it makes it easier to open up. He also appreciates the music not being too loud, making it possible to talk.

Mino doesn’t reintroduce Jinwoo to his friends. They met once or twice before, but Jinwoo couldn’t have hoped to remember all those names then, especially as he doesn’t have that much contact with them. They all seem to know him though, which makes Jinwoo feel a little bad that he only recognizes Jihoon, the only one of Mino’s friends Jinwoo exchanged instagram handles with.

After greeting everyone, Mino pulls Jinwoo to the side, takes him to the bar, much to Jinwoo’s surprise, but also gratitude. He’ll be much more comfortable with just the two of them.

Perhaps Mino knows this. Perhaps that’s why he’s done it.

“Tell me all about it,” Mino says excitedly, once they’ve sat down on bar stools opposite of each other and ordered their drinks.

Something’s off about his enthusiasm. He was much happier when they were getting ready for the date. Now he seems lost, a little distant, his smile is faint. Is it the alcohol? Jinwoo doubts it. Mino gets more energetic when drunk, not less.

Jinwoo begins to tell him about his odd experience with his, as it turned out, new friend. Mino can’t hide his disappointment when Jinwoo tells him that there was no kiss, and only continues to frown as Jinwoo gets into explaining.

The dim lights adorn Mino’s features in a purple haze. They’re sharper, his skin is smoother, his gaze more intense. Jinwoo lays eyes on Mino’s lips and his lip ring that he flicks while he listens.

Jinwoo is suddenly reminded of the night Mino visited, when they practiced kissing. For a second, Jinwoo feels all the sensations from that moment; Mino’s lips are moving his own, trying to get him to open up, his hand is on the small of Jinwoo’s back, trying to ease him into the closeness.

I can see that your mind is elsewhere, she told Jinwoo.

His mind was… with Mino, the entire time.

Jinwoo is no longer talking. He hasn’t noticed.

“And?” Mino prompts him.

He doesn’t remember where he left off. He looks at Mino, bewildered. “I think I’m in love with you,” is the only thing he says.

The music still plays. People still chatter and laugh. But time has stopped around Mino and Jinwoo.

The silence is excruciating. It’s terrifying. It creeps under Jinwoo’s skin, making him aware of what he’s just uttered.

Jinwoo’s eyes widen, his lips part, his hand shoots up to cover his mouth. He is too out of it to even attempt reading Mino’s expression, he jumps into apologizing immediately.

Mino cuts him off with a hasty, “It’s okay!” He tries to move his chair forward, but as the chair is actually a stool, a fact Mino seems to have forgotten, it begins to sway. Mino grabs onto the bar to prevent himself from falling and decides to stand instead.

He stands close to Jinwoo, in-between his slightly parted knees.

“I love you too,” is the first thing Mino says.

Jinwoo is still processing this as the younger continues to ramble, “It was the kiss, I think. I’ve been—I couldn’t stop thinking about this for days, I couldn’t stop thinking about you and—how all of this made me feel—I was so jealous because of that date but I didn’t want to stand in your way…”

He wouldn’t be rambling this much if he wasn’t tipsy. Even so, this isn’t Mino’s usual drunken talkativeness. He’s flustered. Jinwoo only ever saw him flustered was… Back when they kissed.

Jinwoo catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror behind the bar, where lined up glasses obscure his reflection. He’s only seen Mino flustered when he was with Jinwoo… Is.. is Jinwoo making him flustered? The idea seems crazy.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner,” Mino says and Jinwoo’s gaze snaps back to him.

Mino’s head is bowed, he’s fidgeting with his glass that he hasn’t drank from. “I’m sorry it took me until that kiss—but by then it was too late…” He shifts, looks up and smiles. “Or so I thought! It’s not—it’s not too late, right?”

Jinwoo grins. “Of course it’s not!”

Mino grins wide. “Can I kiss you…?”

Jinwoo’s ears burn. He nods quickly, the blush spreading down his face.

Mino rests his shaky hands on Jinwoo’s thighs and leans in. There it is, the press of Mino’s piercing against Jinwoo’s lips.

This time, he is aware of everything from the start. Mino’s hands gripping Jinwoo’s thighs, Mino’s tongue sliding along Jinwoo’s bottom lip, Mino’s slow exhales that tickle Jinwoo’s cheek. All of it is as real as ever.

 

And the next time Jinwoo is getting ready for a date, it is to see Mino.