The sky grew darker and your heart grew heavier every second that passed with the door tightly closed. With gritted teeth and hands clenched into fists on either of your side, you looked down as you took deep breaths in the hopes of calming down. But tears started to flood your eyes and you ended up curling on the sofa, asleep with a heavy feeling.

It was around midnight when you were awakened by the sound of the door being slammed. You stayed in the position that you were in, just following the figure that made his way to the room. It was more than five minutes when you heard him walking towards the couch. There was silence until you heard him say your name. 

You did not move, thinking that maybe he would think that you were asleep and he would just head to the room. 

But you just heard him say your name again, firmer that time as if he spoke through gritted teeth. 

There was no other choice left but to admit that you were indeed awake. You slowly sat up, avoiding his gaze. The silence was deafening, terrifying even. It was rare for the space between the two of you to be quiet as both of you enjoy talking about a lot of things. 

You heard Namjoon sigh. “Are you seriously still ignoring me for canceling the other day?” He brushed his fingers through his dark hair as he bit on the inside of his cheek. 

You slightly shook your head, not wanting to say anything about the matter anymore. It was starting to feel like it was your fault for feeling bad. And maybe you were just overreacting. 

“Why can’t you look at me? Why won’t you talk to me? (Your name)...” He sighed. “You know how hectic our schedule can be and that I can’t always leave even if I want to.” He almost sounded like he was pleading for you to understand him. 

But you do. 

As your silence continued, it only frustrated Namjoon. “Why can’t you understand me? You knew what I do for a living before we started dating.” He sighed as he leaned on the wall, his back feeling the cold concrete. 

The silence that followed was deafening but neither of you spoke. Namjoon’s habit of biting on the inside of his cheek was something he often does out of stress and it seemed worse at the moment. You, on the other hand, looked down in the hopes that he would not see tears budding at the corner of your eyes. 

Your hands were clenched into fists, lips pressed into a straight line, and eyes squeezed shut. You were tempted to open your mouth to speak but you could feel that only a squeak would come out. 

“(Your name)...” The way he said your name was like bidding goodbye. 

And for the first time since he stepped inside of your shared apartment, you looked at him as tears flooded your eyes. “I’m--” You took a deep breath as you stood up, trying your best not to explode with the sudden wave of emotions. “I’m sorry,” was all you managed to say, at first. 

Namjoon looked at you and his eyes grew wide at the sight of your face, with tears starting to stream down your face. His opened his mouth to say something but you immediately spoke, “I’m sorry if I asked for a little bit of your time, Namjoon. I’m sorry if I wanted to spend even an hour with you on our 1-year anniversary.” Your voice cracked at the end, making you even more emotional. 

You sat on the couch once again, feeling your knees getting weak. “If I have an option not to feel bad, I would. I would, Namjoon. I really would.” You sighed, trying to calm yourself even just a bit. “I never thought I’d be with someone and I, most certainly, never thought  I’d be with you.”

You looked up at  him, tears started to flood his eyes as his lips trembled. Even after a year of being together, you never imagined that you would see him cry. He has always projected himself as the strong and immovable figure, that you never thought would show his vulnerable side but there he was…

“I’m not asking for the entire day because I do understand how busy you can be. Five minutes would have been enough, or even just a minute. If that was still impossible, a greeting would mean the world to me.”

Namjoon slightly swayed as he walked towards you only to drop on his knees in front of you, reaching for your hands that rested on your knee. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I forgot about it.”

And it all made sense. 

You pulled your right hand from his touch then reached for his tear-stained cheek. The two of you looked straight into each other’s eyes and you could see that he was also troubled. 

“I’ll make it up to you,” he said. He gave your left hand a squeeze as he leaned to kiss your forehead. “I’ll make time for you.”