On the day that we arrived at the dorm, a girl happened to live right across our room and decided to help us with moving the packages.

“Let me help you with that.” a feminine figure said.

“Oh, thank you very much.” Umji replied back

When I saw the girl, I knew immediately that we would become best of friends. She is slightly taller than my sister. Has a red hair with full bangs. Has an extremely good choice in clothing and appears to have that genuine smile that would capture your eyes.

“I am Yuju by the way.” she said while offering her hand.

“I am Umji and this is my sister, Yerin.” Umji said while shaking her hand.

“Hi!” I said while I wave my hand to give a friendlier impression of me to her. Just like the famous saying first impression lasts and I am believing that quote, just because.

Thank you for helping us unpacked. If you would like, would you stay over here to have something to eat.” Umji continued.

At first she declined the offer but Umji said that this is to show appreciation for what she had done to us.

And so Yuju and I waited for Umji to finish cooking. We exchanged stories of what our life had been like, from the moment we are born to the present. But of course it would take forever if we shared it all, so we summarized it from only the most important events.

Yuju pointed out that her life has been always boring and that she is always alone at the dorm. Although, her parents visits her sometime in between the month in order to see her. 

Now I know, why we will become best friends. It’s the similarity or if not almost the same situation that we are put in. 

She said that even though she is well known in the school due to her singing capabilities. She always felt that she’s alone and that only a song can be her friend. But when she saw us, she had a sudden urge to befriend us. It somehow odd or maybe she’s the one that is a little bit weird but I know she’s super nice.

That’s how I first met with Yuju…

~~~~~

It was early in the month of August, when my first year in Korea started. I was born in Korea but was raised by my parents in States. This was due to their work that kept us alive barely for years. But after my father had passed away, my mother sent us back here because she can’t afford the cost to sustain our daily needs and she remained there to work. She sorted the things that Umji and I needed to. She rented a small dorm, which is near to our school but not nearly enough to walk to. She provided us enough money to buy our daily necessities such as school supplies, food supplies, water bills and electricity bills. More than that, then we’ll have to sacrifice food in order to buy something.  

“It was a pretty tragic life.” I told to myself. But I have to live my life regardless of what situation it puts me on to. I will stand whenever I fall, I will believe the impossible even if there’s even a slightly chance of happening, and I will always end up smiling after overcoming hardships. Maybe this mindset of mine is where I got my stubbornness and decided to just go with the flow in my life.

It was the start of the academic year, when this mindset of mine, caused my life to change the course of this so called flow...

~~~~~

The sound of the chirping birds, as they glide along the breezy winds. Under the glistening grass and leafy trees. The hair-like strands of sunlight that escapes from the tiny holes between the cluster of clouds.  

It was the mark of the beginning of the autumn season which meant that it was the start of the school season. I prepared everything from my bag, which included the things that I’ll need to in school, to my school uniform, and I rehearsed multiple times for the seemingly cliche introduce yourself section at start of every school year. I also memorized on which ways to go to my school and if ever I needed to have a back up route , I also memorized that. I took note of some important landmarks and necessary stores which I might visit with my new friends or just with Umji or Yuju.

I arrived at my school. Everything was lively. Everyone is walking to their own destinations while talking with their friends. Of course I am with Yuju. But one moment that enthralled me is the arrival of this certain girl. 

She was just walking like everyone else but my eyes focused on her figure. Like the time itself stop just for me to be bewitched by her beauty. From her head to toe, I memorized every detail that I can. Her eyes, her waist, and even the slimness of her legs. I memorized it all. I know for sure that it was what you called love at first sight.

Yuju interrupted my bizarre thoughts as she noticed that my eyes were fixed at the girl.

“It was rumored that whoever’s she with, he or she will have a hard time for the rest that he’s or she’s with her. So just stay away from her, from Hwang Eunbi or so called the Ice Queen.

“The Ice Queen?” I asked.

“Because of her appearance, in which she gives this creepy stare to everyone. Like she will plan on killing them if ever they make a wrong move to her. That makes everyone stay away from her due to the coldness that they feel. The vibe that she shows off that makes her isolated from others. That’s how she got her nickname. It was also believed that some of her friends or acquaintances. Have gone faraway after spending some time with her.” Yuju said. “It’s been like that for years. The Ice Queen or so called Hwang Eunbi.

“I see. Thank you for the warning.” I said while my eyes following the steps of the Queen.

Guess my first crush ended up being a disaster.

~~~~~

“I am Jung Yerin. My hobbies are watching series and cooking. I came from the States and just transferred here this month. I hope that we can have a nice year together.” I said proudly as I managed to deliver my rehearsed speech without stuttering.

“Glad you didn’t make a fool of yourself out there.” Yuju said jokingly.

“Of course, I wouldn’t I am Jung Yerin.”

“Yeah, right.” she said leaving a sound that you can infer as she was not having a good time with what a said. We’ll in my case I had fun, so still a win.

After those seemingly long hours of classes that felt like days, it was time for lunch. Yuju is still with me because she is afraid that I might get lost around the campus. She joined me for lunch and suggested the toast that the cafeteria sells is the best around the town. 

The crowd in front the store is so rowdy but I managed to get two and returned to Yuju. Yuju said that I should experience buying in there because it’s the highlight of lunch time. I can’t believe I got tricked by her. She just doesn’t want to get pushed by the other students. I am on the way back to our table. Suddenly, someone bumped into me knocking over the pieces of breads on the floor.

I crouched down to get the fallen items and when I looked at who did it. I saw those eyes. The very cold eyes that stared with the intent of something bad happening to someone. She did nothing and just stood there, staring at me. Then I stood up, but just as I was about to say a word she left. She left like nothing happened. Gossips can be heard around the hall.

“Ice Queen is really cold.” 

“She really is that mean.”

“Damn, she didn’t even helped her.”

“Unfortunate being. Now She’ll remember you.”

“She’ll remember me?” I internally asked myself. “But... how, is she that smart? I mean is she that into people bumping into her?”.

That’s when Yuju came and picked me up. Then, we left in order to eat at the school field where benches can be seen around the area.

“Don’t worry it’s just rumors. But, she really did just stare into you, huh?” Yuju said while looking at the guys playing soccer.

“Yeah, I do hope so. I don’t want to experience it again. It was so scary.” I said while opening the pack of toast.

But, I can’t help but think of the interaction I’ve had earlier. It was just a slim moment when I saw those eyes. It was those eyes that can be warm by other people. For sure, it’s not that cold for it to not to be unfrozen. I looked into it, I even stared with it. I am sure that I can do it. But, it’s too risky to risk it. With the rumors spreading around. Guess, I’ll really have to let go of my first crush.

After eating the toast that I’ve bought, it was time for the afternoon class. I have to say one thing, math is not really my forte. Every time I hear or see number, my mind just shuts down. Even though, I try my hardest to learn it will took me, maybe a night of self-studying to learn it.

But, I’m glad that school already finished without humiliating myself. Except when people talked about me and the Ice Queen. When she bumped into me earlier. That was the only unusual thing that happened today.

It was time for us to go home, when I heard a cat crying. I suggested that Yuju should go home earlier because I have something to check out first, which is the cat. I ensured her that I can go back safely and that if ever something happened I’ll call her. 

I looked for it around the campus. I followed the sound of it’s cry and when I arrived at the scene. I saw her again. The Ice Queen.

I saw her helping a stray kitten that was stuck between the tree. She was climbing it just to save the cat. I knew it. She was not that bad of a person. I wonder why she acted like one though? Due to this sudden turn of events, I just stood in awe watching her climb the tree and admired her. After acquiring the kitten, on her way down she miscalculated her footing and slipped down. I don’t know what exactly happened but she turn around her body in order to act like a cushion for the cat to avoid crushing it. She did it so elegantly that anyone watching it might mistake it like a movie scene except that it was real. Then, it sink unto me that it was not scripted nor planned but it was real.

“Hey, are you okay?” I screamed while rushing to her direction and offering my hand. 

“Since when did you arrived? Either ways you have to keep quiet on what happened here or else.” She said while shoving the hand that I offered into, looking at me with those cold eyes.

meow…

It was at that moment. I knew that, I really do have a crush with this girl in front of me. Her smile, that very smile of hers is just enough to make everyone’s heart be hers. It was endearing to watch. The way she held and open , to make a sound like a cat, to comfort the little creature. The way her eyes are fixed on the little one. The way her blood runs through her shoulders.

Wait, Blood!?!

My unconscious self immediately picked up the girl and carried her across my back. I know for myself that she was startled by my actions. But, she can’t do anything with the way I locked her feet across my arms. I am carrying her like a piggy back ride and she has no other option but to cling onto me and held for her dear life.

She kept on resisting. She kept on hitting my back like I am kidnapping her. Well I am, sort of because I don’t have her consent, except that this was for a good cause. When suddenly she stopped hitting me and I can feel something wet on my back. I can feel the shortness of her breathe. 

“Hey. Can you please put me down. I need to at least check if the cat is already okay.” she said in a very low shaky voice which makes it hard to understand.

Is she that soft for animals, that she is willing to risk everything for them. How I wish to be just like a cat. Wait, why am I thinking of these things? Am I that whipped for you?”

“No, we need to get you treated first. I will return later to check if the cat is okay.”.

She did not respond and the crying had stopped. I can feel that she rested her face along my back and that she might have fallen asleep. Well, it’s understandable because the sun is already fading along the horizon and she must have exhausted herself after climbing the tree that it took toll on herself.

We arrived at the nurse’s office. I put the girl behind me on a vacant bed. I introduced myself to the nurse and told her what happened. I watched Eunbi get patched up first before I left to check on the cat. 

I took my time walking back to the place contemplating on the foreign emotions that I am feeling. I wondered to myself, it was the first time meeting that girl but something feels different. Something feels off about her. Something that makes me want to know more about her. I know there are bad rumors but not until I’ve seen it with my own two eyes. I am not believing those words.

I reached the place where I last saw the cat and to my shock. I saw Yuju and the cat’s supposedly mother. Yuju sat beside the cats and just watched me approach them.

“I guess you’ve fallen in love to the Hwang Eunbi.” she said teasingly.

“N-no, I-I’m not and will never will.” I said stutteringly as I am not prepared for her sudden question. 

“You know, I’ve been trailing you ever since we got separated. You carried her all the way to the clinic right. I also, saw her save this little kitty.”

“You know, maybe those rumors are false and whatever happened here. I just carried her because she was in pain. Nothing more, nothing less. What are you talking about love. You must be joking?”

“Oh, okay, I believe you then.” 

“Want to go home?”

But before we left, I took a picture of the kitten and it’s mom, then headed home. I don’t even know why I did this. Maybe I want to show it to Hwang Eunbi. Maybe I want to see that smile again…

~~~~~

The following day, I tried to find her around the school grounds. No, cross that. I didn’t try to find her, but I am finding her. Maybe that rumors are true. I thought to myself. Instead of them running away from her, but maybe, just maybe she was the one who is running away from them. But, why would she do that? I asked myself knowing that I won’t be able to know the answer. After all, I can’t find her.

It continued for the rest of the week. No sign of the girl attending the school. I asked Yuju about her section. I asked her classmates their schedule. I don’t want to ask directly what happened to her because of her image, being the Ice Queen. Surely they’ll just say something that might not even be true.

It was lunch time of the following week. I am eating alone on our school cafeteria. The boisterous crowd, the pleasant smell of the foods, the clashing of metal spoon and fork are the things that I am stuck with right now. However this routine was ruined when someone sat in front of me.

“Thank you for what you have done for me.” Eunbi said while fixing herself on the sit.

“It was no big deal.”

“I am Hwang Eunbi.”

“Oh… and I’m…”

“You are Jung Yerin right. Yes, I know. I am just here to say thank you to you formally but know that I am not indebted to you because I am perfectly capable of handling my own in that situation. Also, do not speak of what happened and I am serious about that.”

Then she left…

What I mean by left, is not just her physical body that seated in front of me left but also the Eunbi that I knew last week. The girl that was vulnerable. The girl that looks so soft. The girl that you can be around with and have a good time. The girl that had a unique smile that melts your heart, is now gone.

I tried having an interaction with her even just a tiny bit. From PE class, to the lockers, lunch times, dismissal, and free time. But nothing, she just wouldn’t want to be caught off guard. It’s like she is avoiding my presence.

This continued for months but I stopped midway October and now it’s the month of December. It was the last day before we have our winter break. I was staying late at school due to my teacher’s request which involves some documents regarding my tuition fee. 

After fixing that matter, I decided to go home already. I imagined myself fixed in the couch with Umji watching our favourite series together. With matching chips and hot choco with it. But before I leave, I left the printed picture of the cats that she saved and left a cat stuff toy with it. I also left a letter with it saying:

Dear Hwang Eunbi,

I know you might not even remember me.

But I just want to say that I want to be friends with you.

Hope you had tons of fun during the holiday break.

Your Friend,

Jung Yerin

~~~~~

The sound of the doorbell woke me up. It annoyed me because the sun has not risen yet but someone is interrupting my sleep. I checked on my sister if she has any visitors but I can see in her face that she is not expecting anyone. 

It was just past one am who could have been ringing the door bell. At first, I thought it was Yuju. I was prepared to scold her for ruining our beauty sleep but it was Hwang Eunbi. 

“H-hey, C-can I stay over?” 

I knew immediately that it was her another side. The side where she rescued the cat. The side that I’ve been meaning to see all the time. 

“Of course, come in.” 

Just as I was about to let her sit in the sofa. She collapsed pinning me down in it. I can feel it in her body that she was cold. She was only wearing a hoodie and a leggings despite this cold weather. Not knowing what to do. I just hugged her, hoping that I can somehow lower her body temperature. 

My heart beat is beating so fast for that the presence I’ve been longing for months, is now right in front of me. What’s better is that I am hugging her. I can’t fall asleep. But after running my thought on questions like why is she here, or how could she have known I live here, I have fallen asleep.

When I woke up, I heard giggles. Must have been Umji basing on the tone of it. I got up seeing that my younger sister and Eunbi is in the kitchen making something. 

“Oh, you are already awake.” my sister said to me.

“Hi, sorry for what happened.” Eunbi said.

“It’s okay.” I replied back to her. “What are you guys making?”

“Just wait there.” Umji demanded.

After waiting for quite a while. Eunbi handed me down an omelette fried rice with ketchup placed in a certain manner saying “Would you be my girlfriend?”