(Daehyun's Perspective)

January ninth. Not a day Daehyun had originally been looking forward to.

School was starting back today for his university, which meant it would've been back to the grind of suffering through medical school until the next break.

For the most part, he was still hesitant on the conclusion that he'd made. But Youngjae's words from the other day were stuck in his head. Those words opened up a path in his brain that had originally been blocked off by the wants of others, and Daehyun decided to take the advice and run with it.

It's either three years wasted, or a lifetime wasted. Which would you prefer? If it's not something that makes you happy, then it's not worth your time.

With that thought in mind, he'd officially dropped out. He breathed in that crisp winter air as he shoved his gloved hands into his pockets and made the walk back to his car. He was currently trying to figure out how to break the news to his parents. They'd be disappointed for certain, but he couldn't just hide it from them. They were paying for the tuition, after all!

Perhaps bringing up that they'd no longer need to worry about supporting it? Appealing to frugality could work, but medical school had been their idea in the first place...

Once he had the car heater running, he pulled up his umma's contact information and stared at it. He could already imagine that tone of voice she'd get without even having to physically hear it. It was a tone that seeped into your brain, made you feel like an idiot for saying something she didn't like. Sunhwa had been able to perfect that tone within a few hours of knowing his umma.

“It's now or never,” Daehyun mumbled to himself. With that, he clicked to call.

After a few rings, she answered curtly, “You should be in classes, Daehyun.”

'Well, looks like we're getting right to the punch...' With a nervous gulp, Daehyun responded in a soft voice, “Um... About that... I um... I dropped out...”

“What was that? I can't hear you when you mumble, speak louder.”

“I dropped out, Umma!” he loudly declared, immediately regretting the volume as soon as his umma began to speak.

“Don't you raise your voice at me, Jung Daehyun!” she chastised. His stomach knotted up tensely as she spoke, and his breath caught in his throat. “I'm afraid with that outburst that I must've misheard you because I thought I heard you say you dropped out.”

“Y-you heard correctly,” he stammered, biting his lip nervously. There was an uncomfortable silence on the line, one that had him squirming in his seat. To fill the stuffy lack of noise, he decided to explain himself. “It's... It's just, I don't want to be a doctor? I-I never did, and uh... it'll save you money, um, not having to pay for-”

“Daehyun, be quiet.”

“Yes ma'am,” he sighed dejectedly, eyes drooping as they stared down at the hand he'd clenched tightly in his lap. 'I hate feeling like this...'

“We were paying your way through medical school so you could get a good paying job and pay us back for our generosity,” she explained, as if it should have been obvious from the get go.

“I didn't ask for this, though?”

“Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to you, Daehyun.”

“Yes ma'am...”

From the other side of the line, Daehyun heard an exasperated groan. “First your paranoia with Sunhwa, now this. Haven't you thought about the consequences of your actions, Daehyun? Seeing you throw away your life like this hurts us, you know. Sunhwa loved you, and you ruined your chances with her because you were being selfish! And now you're throwing your career away, too!”

Daehyun despised this tone with every fiber of his being, but if he was going to start doing things his way, he had to get better about speaking up for himself. He couldn't keep on shrinking away at the slightest bit of intimidation, or he'd never be able to live his life the way he wanted to. “If by loved me you meant cheated on me for four years-”

“Not this again, Daehyun,” his umma groaned, and he could picture her rubbing her temple in disappointment. “You were just being paranoid! She'd never hurt you like that, and even if she did, you'd-”

He wasn't going to let his umma get that last thought out, even though he already knew what the words he was interrupting were. 'You'd be the one to blame.' She'd said them before, and he wasn't going to let her say them again. “There's no point in talking to you about it. You've never listened to my side of things.” Daehyun interrupted, already bracing himself for the biting discipline that was sure to come from it.

“Didn't I just tell you not to interrupt me when I'm talking to you? I think it's you who's not listening, Daehyun,” she commented in a matter of fact kind of way. “Listen to me well. If you're so insistent on ruining your life, then there's nothing we can do to stop you. But I can assure you that you'll learn your lesson one day. Whenever your appa gets home from work, I'll discuss with him just how much you owe us.”

“How much I owe you?”

“I already told you we weren't sending you through medical school for free earlier, but of course you weren't listening,” she sighed. “We expect you to pay us back for your tuition charges. It would've been easier on you if you hadn't dropped out, but I suppose this is just the first step in you learning your lesson. Now, we'll get the total so far for you-”

“You expect me to pay you back for sending me to get an education I didn't want?” he wondered incredulously, mouth drying. His eyes threatened to let out his frustration in the form of tears, but he held himself back as best he could. 'Not now, not while I'm on the phone with Umma...'

“You need to learn to pay your debts-”

“I didn't want this!”

Immediately, she snapped back with a resounding yell that had Daehyun shrinking deep into himself, “Well, we didn't want a disappointment for a son, but we can't all get what we want, Jung Daehyun!” He harshly bit the inside of his cheek to prevent the sob in his lungs from surfacing. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes as she continued, “We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Now, I'll ask you this once and once only. Which way will you choose? Because I will not hesitate to go hard.”

Daehyun really didn't want to know what the hard way was. “Easy way...”

“Good. We'll get back to you.” Then she hung up without so much as a goodbye.

He steadied his breath as best he could as he set his phone to the side and let out the tears he'd tried so hard to keep in earlier. How tightly he clenched his fists was enough to blanch his knuckles, and he allowed himself to let out a few sobs before wiping at his eyes and leaning back in his seat.

University wasn't cheap, so it'd probably take him years to pay his parents back on his current salary. He'd need to start hoarding his money, take more hours, budget his paycheck. Cheap groceries, no splurging on anything, necessities included...

Except toilet paper. Toilet paper is something you don't skimp out on.

'Would it be better to take out a loan from the bank to pay them in full, then pay back the bank? Or should I set up some sort of payment plan with my parents?' Daehyun shakily sighed and rubbed the wetness on his cheeks away.

He decided his first course of action should be to get more hours. Since he was supposed to be back in school, Hyosung had scheduled him less to accommodate for that. Daehyun made sure his breathing was steady and no more tears were coming out before psyching himself up to dial up Hyosung.

She answered the phone instantaneously and with pep, as was usual for her. “Hey buddy, how's it going? I thought your classes started back today?”

“I um...” Daehyun cleared his throat and gave himself one more mental nudge. “I uh... I dropped out, noona.”

“You sound surprisingly bummed out about this,” she commented. “I figured you'd be happy that you'd finally be getting away from medical school. I could tell how much you hated the classes whenever it was brought up.”

Was he really that transparent when it came to this? “It's... not that. I'm glad to be out of it, I just...” Daehyun paused, not sure whether he should mention about his now upstanding debt with his parents.

“You just...?”

Ultimately, he probably shouldn't air that kind of personal business, especially when he was still in the process of figuring things out. “I'd like more hours if possible?”

“Of course, let me just pull out this month's schedule real quick...” After some shuffling from the other side of the line, she asked, “How much do you want to be scheduled for? I can fit you in tomorrow 11 to 5... I've got an opening this weekend, 11 to 5 on the fourteenth... Also a 4 to 10 slot is open on the nineteenth, and an 11 to 5 on the twenty-fourth. Any of those appeal to you?”

“All of them.”

“What?”

“Please schedule me for all the openings you just listed,” Daehyun requested politely.

She was silent for a few moments, time he guessed she was using to write him onto the schedule. “Alright, buddy. I've got you penned in. Does this mean I can start scheduling you more in general? Or do you have plans to pursue something else?”

Daehyun hummed in thought. He'd never actually considered what he'd like to do with his life. He just accepted his fate of being stuck as a doctor when his parents told him he'd been accepted to a university they'd sent an application to for him. Not doing what someone else wanted of him was foreign...

Then there was the fact that college costs money, and he was going to be stripped of cash until he'd completely paid his parents back. At least that would give him time to figure out what he wanted to do?

“No plans like that, noona. So you can schedule me more if you need to.” Whatever he planned to do, he'd prefer to still do it while working at Shortstub's. His job had originally been an escape, a place for him to be out of the house and away from his negative thoughts. The friendly atmosphere uplifted him, and busying himself helped distract his brain.

Hopefully, it could continue to do that!

“Wonderful! I'll be glad to have you here more, Daehyun,” she declared. “Anything else I can do for you today?”

“No, that's everything. Thank you, noona.”

“Oh, you're welcome, buddy!” she responded cheerily. “I'll see you tomorrow morning then! Take care of yourself, okay?”

While Daehyun still felt massive anxiety from the conversation with his umma and for how things would end up proceeding, Hyosung's words melted some of the panic away enough that he could smile a tiny bit. “I'll do my best to, noona.”

--

Daehyun got back to his apartment around noon. He hung his winter gear by the door and decided he should eat some lunch. Nothing crazy, just a bowl of ramen and the last bit of tea from the batch he'd made for Youngjae the other day. His dinnerware screamed for something fancier, though.

After work a few nights ago, Hyosung had let her employees take some of the old dishes and cookware from Shortstub's since Corporate had ordered and sent in new versions. Given that Daehyun had been using paper plates and plastic silverware and cups with a few trusty tupperware bowls that had been packed with his things, it was a good opportunity to stock his cabinets for free. The old things were just going to be thrown out otherwise, and that would just be a waste.

That was Hyosung's logic, at least, and it made sense to him. No sense in letting perfectly fine tableware be trashed when it could find a home elsewhere.

He'd taken four plates, four bowls, four sets of silverware, four cups, three pots of varying sizes, a frying pan, various cooking tools, and a pitcher. Hyosung urged him to take more, but he was only one guy who lived alone. It wouldn't make sense for him to take more.

Daehyun overheard one of the other apartments on this floor argue something about dishes from lunch while he was washing his own. He did his best to tune them out, especially since they yelled at each other about things at least once a day. 'Maybe if I wasn't such a pushover, that's how me and Sunhwa would've ended up?'

He paused and shook his head. 'Not a pleasant thought, shove that away...'

Having this kind of time to himself was strange, and he didn't like it. It let his mind wander to things he didn't want to think about. Right as he was going to turn on the tiny television that came with the apartment, he heard clambering from upstairs. He stared up at the ceiling, initially frustrated at the noise. Then he recalled Zelo and Jongup had the apartment above this one. 'I could go spend my free time with them!'

He decided that was a better alternative to straining to watch something on the world's tiniest television.

Daehyun left his winter gear on the coat rack since he didn't plan on leaving the building, and then made the short journey up to Zelo's apartment. Right as he was about to knock, he heard a loud whine from Zelo. “Jongup, please! I need to practice this look before the test tomorrow, and I can't be my own ing model!” he begged, the clacking of his heels loud as he paced.

“I can't, makeup makes my skin itch, Zelo!” Jongup complained back.

“I'll wash it off as soon as I'm done, I promise! Please, just let me practice on you!”

“But my skin, Zelo!”

“But my dreams, Jongup!”

“You'll be fine! You've passed everything so far, what makes you think you won't pass this one?”

“I'm going to be ing timed on it! I don't do these things quickly, so I need to practice!”

On second thought, Daehyun figured he was probably better off staying down in his apartment. If Zelo was in a mood like this, Daehyun would only want to shrink away, and he didn't want to feel like that around his friend. 'I guess there's a tiny television calling my name...'

Unfortunately, he wasn't able to get this option because as he was turning away from the door, it flew open with Jongup storming out and nearly running into him. He was fuming, but came to a stop when he noticed Daehyun. “Oh, Daehyun hyung. Hello,” he greeted quietly with a slight bow of his head.

“Um, hi?” He offered a slight head bow himself and nervously his lips. “I was just... you guys sound like you're busy, so I was just leaving?”

Jongup mumbled something under his breath before he muttered, “Probably for the better. I wouldn't wish anybody to be around Zelo when he's in panic mode about school. Although...” He paused and tapped his chin. “You're his friend, so maybe you could calm him down?” His voice tapered off at the end, rising a bit in pitch at his hopeful question.

Daehyun fiddled with his fingers awkwardly. “I'm not his only friend... You're his friend, too, right?”

Dejectedly, Jongup sighed, “I'm his roommate, not his friend. There's a difference.”

'So... they aren't friends?' Daehyun furrowed his brows in confusion. He'd been under the impression that they were given how they acted towards each other...

Before Daehyun could comment anything, Zelo clacked into the living room and spoke with a surprisingly calm voice, “He's just saying that because he's mad at me, hyung. When did you get here?”

Jongup didn't give Daehyun the chance to answer for himself. “You would've heard him knock if you hadn't been yelling and stomping around,” he lied. “I'm going to go cool off. Be back in a while. Have fun, you two.” With that, he pulled Daehyun into the apartment, gave him a pat on the shoulder, then closed the door behind him.

Well, he was stuck here now. “Is... everything okay?” he wondered hesitantly, bracing himself for the tirade of emotion that Zelo was sure to let loose.

It didn't come.

Instead, Zelo plopped down onto the couch with a sigh. “No,” he pouted quietly, crossing his arms over his chest. Voice shaky, he began to ramble. “But... it'll be fine. It always turns out fine, so there's no need to worry. That's right! In a few hours, Jongup will be back, and he'll have bought some milkshakes! Strawberry for me and chocolate for him, and we'll drink them after apologizing to each other. Like always...”

Daehyun reluctantly took a seat next to his friend on the couch. “This... happens often?”

“More often than it should,” he sighed. “He's a saint for putting up with my , oppa-hyung. I'm loud and temperamental and opinionated and I don't often think before I ing speak and...” Zelo's shoulders drooped as he chewed at his bottom lip.

Comforting others had never been Daehyun's strong suit. The best he could do was listen or distract from the problem. He twiddled with his fingers and watched as Zelo began to bounce his knees while he moped. 'What can I do to help him...?'

Zelo spoke again before Daehyun was able to come up with anything, and his voice was strained. “Daehyun, have I hurt you?” he asked in a whisper.

Daehyun was too taken aback by the question to get out anything more than, “What?” He wasn't sure where Zelo had gotten the impression that he'd hurt Daehyun. Technically he had, but since Daehyun knew it wasn't his intention to degrade him, he decided it was just because he was too sensitive from years of putting up with words that were intentionally hurtful. That and the main thing that had hurt him in that conversation had nothing to do with Zelo...

“Have I hurt you somehow?” he repeated, a bit louder. “Since you've been back, you've been so distant, even when you're here? I... I can't help but think that I've done something to make you uncomfortable around me? We used to joke around all the ing time about the stupidest ... Now it's just me ing rambling and you just... taking it in with very few words if any.”

Daehyun's first instinct was to deny. But that would be a lie straight from his teeth. The way Zelo yelled sometimes scared him and had him wanting to shrivel away behind the wall in his brain he'd created to escape loud voices and constant degradations. For Zelo, loud was just a part of who he was. Back in school, that hadn't been a problem. Three years later, Zelo was still the same, but Daehyun was the one that was different.

“It's... not by fault of yours,” he answered carefully.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“It's-” Daehyun pressed his fingertips into his cheeks nervously. “Um, you have said things that hurt me, but that's- It's not your fault that it hurts... It's mine.”

Zelo blinked a few times before his brows scrunched together. “How is it your fault for me hurting you? That makes no ing sense.” He adjusted so he could face Daehyun without needing to keep his head turned.. “I've hurt you, so I'm at fault.”

“Zelo, you've done nothing wrong. You're just being you, the way you've always been,” Daehyun explained softly. “But me? I'm- I've changed, and... it's not good? I'm way more sensitive to, um... yelling... and that's my fault. It's something I'm trying to get over, it's just... very ingrained in me.”

“Oppa-hyung...”

Daehyun averted his gaze and kept his hands at his face, fingertips starting to twitch against his cheeks.

“The chicken did this to you, didn't she? It's her fault, right?” he seethed through clenched teeth. Daehyun flinched lightly at the hand Zelo laid on his shoulder. The way Zelo was clearly fuming at Sunhwa's existence had Daehyun feeling squirmy, so he sat on his hands to keep from scratching at his cheeks further.

If he was looking for a reason, then he wasn't entirely wrong. Years of exposure to no one but her and his parents was the exact reason he was so secluded in himself. The only reprieve he ever had was his waiter job...

“It wasn't just her, but yeah...” Just what went on and who did it wasn't something Daehyun wanted to offer further elaboration for. Instead, he elected to deflect the subject away from him. “How's Hyunsik doing? Is he still mad at you?”

Thankfully, Zelo didn't press for more information. “Haven't caught any red flags from talking and texting, so I guess he's fine,” he answered with a shrug. “I called and apologized even though I'm not actually sorry, and he apologized for ing slapping me. We're good now! I've been messaging him constantly. So much so that he's gotten to calling me a pest and to tone it down, but I won't let myself fail him like I did you, Daehyun.”

“You didn't fail me, Zelo?” 'Why in the world would he think he'd failed me? If anybody had failed here, it was me for not listening to him in the first place...'

“I did, though!” he contradicted. “I could've messaged you to make sure you were okay, but I ing didn't! I failed you by not reaching out to you, and I only feel worse about it knowing you were suffering alone and thinking you couldn't reach out to me,” he rambled. Then Zelo grabbed him by the shoulders, and Daehyun tried not to jump at that. “Look what it's turned you into! If I'd kept up with you, then maybe you would've gotten out sooner. You wouldn't have let yourself get so hurt and broken and...” He took a deep breath, then sighed. “Well, I'm beating a dead horse at this point, but do you get what I'm saying?”

With how he spoke, Daehyun knew there was nothing he could say to get his friend to not think that way. Zelo was very stubborn, after all! However, there was something light feeling about how much his friend cared.

So Daehyun nodded his understanding. “Yeah...” Then he let out a tired sigh. “I... I am trying to get back to who I used to be... Can you- Will you be patient with me while I'm doing that?”

“Of course!” he answered happily with a few pats to the shoulder. “I'll do whatever you need me to do to help you. So just let me know, yeah?”

--

The next few hours went by quickly. Zelo promised to watch his volume levels and tone around Daehyun, even though he told his friend not to worry about it so much. Afterwards, Daehyun offered to help Zelo with his makeup dilemma. After all, if he was going to get back to who he was before Sunhwa, getting back into styling with Zelo was a must!

Daehyun always had fun with it, and he decided that working on rekindling that would be beneficial for him. The more he familiarized himself with it, the more it would replace the hatred his brain felt on Sunhwa's and his parents' behalf.

Since Zelo's problem was with speed, Daehyun set a timer on his phone before letting him loose with the request to be gentle. If Zelo used spastic, hurried movements, there's no way Daehyun wouldn't jump. And that would ruin the look!

Every time Zelo washed off his work, Daehyun's brain struggled. It tried to bring him back to when Sunhwa was scrubbing it off his face with harsh movements, breaking the skin with how hard she scrubbed. When the cloth would touch his face, he'd tense briefly before reassuring himself that he was with Zelo. Even with Zelo being gentle with the cloth, that thought still rose up momentarily before Daehyun put his focus into willing it away.

He was frustrated by it, but the more he got used to the gentle, the easier it would be for him to forget the harsh.

Zelo was chatty while he worked. Daehyun wasn't able to respond more than hums, but he didn't seem to mind. He spoke of anything and everything. From figuring out there actually was another male in his class, to how he came to live here with Jongup, even to how he'd met and became friends with Youngjae. At one point, he lamented about taking Jongup for granted and resolved to treat his friend better by not hounding him about not helping. Especially since Jongup had sensitive skin, and Zelo declared he was going to be more mindful of that.

It took four different tries, but Zelo was finally able to beat the timer. He might've been able to do it sooner if he hadn't gotten so distracted with his ramblings, but Daehyun didn't mind terribly. They were in the middle of taking a celebratory selfie when Jongup came back, milkshakes in tow just as Zelo had predicted.

He'd even gotten Daehyun one, vanilla since that was a basic flavour and Jongup figured it was a safe bet!

Daehyun left after then, telling Zelo he'd wash it off at his place and also thanking Jongup for thinking of him.

He was in the middle of unlocking his door, sipping at his vanilla milkshake, when he heard the voice of the resident pianist coming from down the hall. “Daehyun! Glad I caught you,” he greeted as he walked up, the duffel bag that Daehyun had brought the soup down in hanging from his hand.

Daehyun took his hand off the knob, having been just about to open it when he'd been spoken to. “Youngjae, you're sounding way better,” he pointed out, turning so he could at least look Youngjae's direction. He was happy to know that Youngjae was recovering well!

Youngjae blinked at him, face unreadable as he let out a breathy, “Damn...”

“Is everything... okay?”

“Yes!” Youngjae said quickly, face lighting up with a bright smile and a nod. “You look really good!”

“Oh, um, thank you? Uh, Zelo did it...”

“That so, huh?” he wondered, clearing his throat a little before saying, “I knew the kid was good with makeup, but I didn't he realize he was a miracle worker.”

“...Miracle worker?”

Youngjae hummed in affirmation as he rocked slightly on his feet. “If he managed to make you look even more attractive than you already are, which I didn't think was possible, then yeah! He's some kind of miracle worker,” he explained confidently with a dimpled smile.

Daehyun felt his heart jump around in his chest. 'Why does my face feel so warm?' He swallowed nervously. “Th-thank you,” he squeaked out. “That's... very nice of you to say.” Before he could ramble his way to his own grave, Daehyun sipped at his milkshake in the hopes that it could cool down how warm he was suddenly feeling.

Youngjae chuckled lightly, smile still wide as he responded, “You're welcome, and I mean what I said. You look good, so you should own it!” Before Daehyun could register those words fully, Youngjae said, “Anyways, I came up to return this to you since I finished off the last of the chicken soup this morning.” He handled the duffel bag over to Daehyun. “I washed your dish, and... I made you a little something. Some cookies as thanks for taking care of me.”

“You didn't have to do that...”

“I didn't have to, but I wanted to.” His eyes beamed with pride as he declared, “Baking is one of my specialties, so I can guarantee the taste! There's a reason I'm the main baker at the coffee shop.”

A tiny grin found its way onto Daehyun's face. “I appreciate it. I'll be sure to... eat them well.” He wouldn't consider himself the kind of guy to have a sweet tooth, electing to eat less flavourful foods because of his sensitive taste buds. But Youngjae exuded such confidence in his abilities that Daehyun was looking forward to eating them!

Besides, Youngjae had gone out of his way to make them, so it'd be rude to do anything but...

“Great! Let me know how you like them,” he requested, and for a brief second, there was the teeniest bits of nervousness on his features. “I'll get out of your hair now. I just wanted to bring them up to you while they were fresh. Have a good rest of your day, Daehyun!” he waved and started to walk towards the stairs.

Daehyun started to walk into his apartment when he realized that he hadn't actually responded in kind. “Um, you too, Youngjae!” he called after him, leaning out of the doorway slightly.

Youngjae looked back and let out a cheery laugh before answering, “Of course!” Then he disappeared down the stair well.

Daehyun set the duffel bag on the counter after shutting the door and pulled out the tupperware bowl, which was filled with cookies. “How in the world am I supposed to eat all these on my own?” he mumbled to himself. His brain kept running over the encounter that had just happened as he cracked open the lid and let the smell of freshly baked cookies settle fill the apartment.

A pleasant scent, he noted, as he thought about how to possibly interpret what just happened. He took another another sip from his milkshake to cool the warmth that was settling in his chest, a bit worried at why his heart wouldn't stop racing. 'Youngjae's a nice guy. He probably just told me I looked good to be nice...'

That didn't explain away the conviction in his tone of voice, though.

Daehyun leaned his elbows onto the counter and sighed, not sure what to do with this train of contemplation. Instead of trying to figure that out further, he reached into the bowl to grab one of the cookies and took a bite from it.

'Warm and sweet. Just like how I'm feeling right now.'

--

A/N:

This just in: local gay flirts with resident shy guy, shy guy writes it off as him just being friendly. More details to come.

Firstly, this chapter ended up lengthier than I intended. Secondly, since I haven't slept since posting Chapter 6, this is technically a double update even though they were posted on different days. Thirdly, shoutout to this catastrophe that happened while I was writing.