Chapter 16
A Good PersonSo I will admit this chapter isn't dynamic. And I hope it is okay. Enjoy.
Momo had been thinking that she should apologize to Jihyo. She was still upset that she couldn't talk to Mina but she might've reacted exaggeratedly. Momo hoped that she would be able to talk with Mina that day, after Sana. She just wanted to be a good older sister. And she felt like she wasn't. There definitely were many situations where Momo couldn've done better. Though she probably would hear something else from Mina.
Momo decided to get up early that day. Even if it was Saturday. Mina and Jihyo should've been out with the kids and Gucci at that hour so she could have a little more time to prepare for an apology and hopefully talk with Mina. Though she wasn't given a chance to prepare. Mina was standing right in front of her room and Momo stopped. The two sisters just stared at each other for a few seconds before anyone said anything. And to Momo's surprise, Mina was the one that started the conversation.
"Good morning. How are you feeling?" Momo at first just stared at Mina but then she frowned and looked down. She didn't want to get straight to the topic, especially that Mina also didn't want to do it. But, on the other hand, she just wanted to be done with that. So she grabbed Mina's arm and pulled her into the room. She closed the door. She needed to pick her words carefully. She didn't want to make Mina feel guilty in any way. And it was very easy to make Mina feel that way. But she finally took a deep breath and turned to Mina, who was awkwardly standing in the middle of the room.
"I am upset." Mina didn't look shocked one bit. Momo could've guessed that Mina figured out everything. Or at least a big part of what happened the day before. And she didn't like Mina's silence. It could only mean she was overthinking the situation. So Momo had to say more. Explain well why she was upset. Even if Mina would think it was silly. "They didn't let me talk to you yesterday." And Momo wanted to say more but Mina had actually cut her off.
"They didn't let you talk to me? What do you mean? Momo you can always talk to me." Why was it always so hard to read Mina? Mina could've been pretending not to understand. And Momo really hoped that Mina wasn't pretending. Either way, she still had to explain because Mina wouldn't say anything else.
"About your troubles. I wanted to be helpful for once. Because I never did enough." Momo decided to sit on her bed then and play with the cushion lying close to her. Mina followed Momo and sat next to her. She didn't want Momo to feel that way. But it was her fault. She should've let Momo know that she was incredible with words. Mina made every relationship complicated. And she hoped she could minimize that in the future.
"That's nonsense, Momo. You are very helpful. I wouldn't have achieved so much if it wasn't for you. You are incredible." Momo glanced at Mina. She was a little surprised by the words though after the previous day it wasn't as weird to hear words like that from Mina. But Momo wondered if it was that great. What Mina meant was caused by hurtful things and that Momo couldn't take care of herself well. And it was really like that since they first became family. Momo couldn't even scare the kids that were mean to Mina back when they started attending the same school as kids. But Mina always said that it was fine. And Momo always had a feeling of doubt in her. Also every time Mina didn't do as well in a ballet competition she said that she didn't mind. But Momo didn't like losing in dance competitions. So shouldn't Mina feel the same? Didn't Mina feel sad whenever she did the work for everyone and she didn't even get a thank you from them? Momo noticed how easy it was for other teens to use Mina's kindness and helpfulness. But then again, Mina always said it was fine. Because she felt good when she helped someone. Then the hardest things came into Momo's mind. When their dad died mom was with them. So even if Mina tried to stay strong for Momo, their mom would be there to comfort Mina. But when their mom died. It felt like Mina didn't have the time to grieve because she was taking care of Momo. She couldn't remember when she had seen Mina cry last time. Even though Momo was sure Mina was crying from time to time. And that she definitely cried a lot after their parents' deaths. Mina suddenly moved a little and Momo immediately started replying. She realized she must've been silent for quite a while.
"Did we ever talked honestly? About our childhood, teen years, our parents' deaths, my pregnancy. I mean, I know we did but I think was rather one-sided. I just think like you had to choke everything inside for years because of fear. And I hate this." Momo prayed that Sana was able to somehow help Mina get rid of that toxic mindset. It didn't matter how much Mina would tell her. She just wanted to hear something honest from Mina. Momo decided then that she will try to ask about a certain topic. Because it could've been easier to reply. So she started at the earliest moment. "Like what about the mean kids in elementary school?" Mina bit her lower lip. And again Momo didn't know what to expect. Mina scratched her cheek and faced Momo.
"They were just mean. It wasn't your fault that they continued for a while." There they go again. Momo really had to spell everything for Mina. Or she would never get an answer.
"Yeah. But did you really didn't mind that? Those things weren't directed towards me but I felt awful hearing them." Mina nodded slowly and looked at the floor. There was no reason for her not to tell Momo. But she didn't want her sister to feel guilty about something that happened so many years ago.
"It made me sad. I admit that constantly getting asked why I never speak or cling to you so much like a little cry baby wasn't my favorite thing to hear. Also, I hated when they would ask me why my biological parents didn't want me. But I had you all the time and our parents. So it was fine." Momo was glad Mina actually told her that but hearing what the kids were saying to Mina back then made her angry all over again. But they were having a type of conversation that would bring all those hurtful things. Momo grasped Mina's hand and decided not to let go until they were done.
"I always wanted to punch them but I couldn't because it wasn't nice." Mina giggled softly at Momo's remark. She didn't have a doubt that it was how Momo felt. She could always see the glare Momo would shot those kids. "And what about all those times something didn't go like you wanted? Whenever you lost you were saying it was nothing." Mina figured Momo would ask a lot. And perhaps it was the best thing for them.
"It was a little disappointing. But you and our parents would always compliment me non-stop and get me any food I want and buy me games. So I still won." Momo shook her head because it was very true. But it was the best way to cheer someone up. Whenever Momo lost it worked the same way. They just switched the games for plushies. And the loss wasn't so bad then.
"I get it. But you could've always said you were disappointed. There were also those guys using you for their gain. Ugh, I always wanted to tell them off." Momo tried to make the talk a little easier for Mina by saying how she felt as well. And Mina talked so she must've been doing a good job.
"Yeah. I just wanted to help them. Because well, I was just scared to hurt their feelings by refusing. I didn't want our classmates to be mean to me again. I know I shouldn't do that. And I am trying not to do that now. I only help people and kids that really need it. And I always get the best reward for it." Momo ruffled Mina's hair a little with a smile. She was glad Mina was happy doing what she was doing. Momo knew some moments were very hard. So seeing that Mina didn't lose her passion for that was reassuring.
"I know. I am proud of you. You are the strongest person in the universe. And this is a scientific fact. No one can argue with this." Mina smiled back at Momo with gratitude. This talking wasn't as bad as Mina thought. But perhaps it was because they didn't touch on the most serious topics. And they had to be brought up. And when the atmosphere suddenly became heavy Mina knew that it was coming.
"When dad died, why didn't you showed your hurt to me? I know that mom was most likely always taking care of you when you and she weren't taking care of me. And then when we weren't taking care of mom. But then mom died and it was just us. And I remember seeing you cry only a few times. I am sure you did cry a lot though." Momo patiently waited for Mina to gather her thoughts and respond. It wasn't as easy as the previous topics. It's been years but it wasn't that long ago. Mina kept fighting with her thoughts. She didn't want to tell Momo about that. She really didn't. But she couldn't just ignore all of that. And Mina knew about everything that Momo went through. That should've been mutual.
"I just didn't want to be weak. To be a disappointment. I had to be strong. I needed to support you. If I had succumbed to the grieve then it would've been worse for us. We would have been more miserable. I was suffering just as much as you but I couldn't let you see it. It would've made you feel worse. Mom always told me to rely on you. And I did but you just didn't see. I just felt better when I was able to make you smile a little during those days. When I thought that I would see you when I get back home made it all better. You helped me a lot. Even by showing me a dumb video on the internet. I understand that I should have shown something. But I was just giving in to the anxiety. To the fear that then I wouldn't support you well enough and would lose you as well. And I know you will ask about pregnancy. I admit I had never expected it to happen so fast. But I could see how overjoyed you were. So it was fine. I didn't mind that I had to work more than usual and study as well. I mean, it was obviously hard. I cried myself to sleep many times. But I always woke up thinking that soon it will be different. That we would be happy. And it happened." After finishing, Mina glanced at Momo and felt her stomach drop. Momo was sobbing with her head on her knees. Mina didn't want that to happen. It wasn't supposed to make Momo cry. Mina did something she didn't do often. She pulled Momo into a hug. Momo immediately circled her arms tight around Mina. It wasn't a typical thing with Mina. Hugging people. She really could only do it with Momo, Sana, and Jihyo. She didn't have a problem with children though. It was very easy to receive hugs or give them to the little kids. And she wished it was as easy with adults. Because it was an important thing. But then Mina didn't even mind when Momo informed her she dirtied her shirt. And she also didn't feel like she regretted telling all of that. Which was a big relief. They had resumed the conversation after Momo calmed down and let go of Mina.
"You are just something else, Mina. I understand your way of thinking. And maybe you were right to not show me anything. But I am strong as well. I just hate to hear you were crying yourself to sleep. You know, no matter how much people say I need to be taken care of, you are the one that needs it the most. Just let me be an older sister for once." Mina was sure that Momo was whining. But she didn't comment to avoid getting grumpy Momo. If Sana was there though, she would have made fun of Momo and that would start a fight between them that resembles a kids bickering than anything else.
"I am sorry. I will do my best to be more open and honest. And I know you are strong. You faced so many things and never gave up. Can you define what you mean by being an older sister?" Momo pushed Mina playfully after the last remark. She was offended. But also she could tell why it sounded funny. She wasn't a baby anymore though.
"Don't apologize. You don't have anything to be sorry for. At least about that. Apologize for doubting my position as an older sister. This is really offensive." Mina could only smile at Momo. She wondered where would she be without her? She was glad she didn't have to find out. Momo was waiting for her apology with closed eyes and raised chin. And Mina thought she looked exactly how Tzuyu looked when she didn't get a puppy for her birthday. Every year.
"I am sorry. You are an older sister." Momo whispered something and Mina leaned in to hear it better.
"Please, take care of me, Momoring." Mina cringed after hearing that sentence. She remembered it. She really said embarrassing things as a child. Momo looked very much amused though. She waited for Mina to say it and Momo wouldn't accept if she didn't. It was very difficult for Mina to say that. But she managed to in the tiniest voice and covering her face after to hide from the utter embarrassment. Momo burst out laughing after hearing what she wanted and she embraced Mina to make her comfortable again.
"Please, don't make me say things like that." The suffering could be heard in Mina's voice. And it made it even more hilarious to Momo. She patted Mina's head before answering.
"I could tell you to say I love you, Momoring. You should be thankful I had mercy on you." Mina groaned and cringed even more. Momo didn't mind Mina had a problem with saying those words. She didn't have any doubt Mina loved her. If she didn't would Mina always buy Momo's favorite snacks so they would always be at home? Exactly. Obviously, Mina showed her love in so many ways that it didn't leave any doubt. Though it was nice to hear it from time to time.
"This is not mercy. Also, stop suffocating me." Momo laughed again and pushed even harder on Mina so she was trapped between her and the bed. She wouldn't stop until Mina would laugh just as much as her. There was no way they would be ending that conversation with heavy hearts.
"Come on. Just once, Minari. Or I will tickle you. What is better?" Mina couldn't believe it. She shared somethings with Momo and she is trying to embarrass her. But she also knew that Momo was just trying to make her laugh. And Momo always did that. Since the beginning. Making Mina laugh and never letting her be sad for long. Even if Momo actually wasn't even aware that Mina was upset. But that time she really didn't want to suffer through tickling.
"I love you, Momoring." Mina's voice was already really soft but it was muffled by Momo's body. She wanted to disappear from there. But Momo squealed and squeezed Mina even more. And actually cheating a little. She tickled Mina on the sides a little and it resulted in Mina giggling a little. But laughing Momo got pushed away quickly after. Mina tried to escape but Momo caught her again and started tickling her until Mina was just as much of a laughing mess as her. And after just laughing together for several minutes, until their stomachs hurt, Momo stopped and with the warmest smile responded to Mina's last words.
"I love you too, Minari." Mina stopped laughing as well and got up from the bed. Momo thought that Mina would leave then. And Momo would be left alone until Nayeon comes by and probably taking her out to many places. But it didn't happen.
"Let's go for a walk with the kids and Gucci. I told Jihyo to get back to bed and rest for once. And I think Sana won't get up until noon. I think she stayed up late again. Jeongyeon actually brought Chaeyoung here because she has a few clients today. So?" Momo didn't hesitate. She got up and nodded.
"I will just take a shower and dress up. Oh! And let's go to some food stalls. I am starving." Mina giggled behind her hand and just observed Momo. She was trying to pick an outfit at first but gave up and took a tracksuit with her. Then she moved to the door and went out when Mina opened the door for her.
"We will be waiting in the living room." Momo had one last question though.
"Where are the kids?" Sana would've pretended that she didn't know where the kids are but Mina wasn't a big prankster. She put her hand on Momo's shoulder and turned her towards the bathroom.
"They are with Sana. They think they are trying to hear her snore to have a reason to ." Momo had a moment of thought and she stopped before entering the bathroom.
"Good. Tell them that even if she didn't snore we should still as if she did." Mina rolled her eyes and pushed Momo inside the bathroom. She could still hear Momo's hearty laugh from behind the closed doors. Momo and Sana really couldn't miss a chance to tease each other. What for? Mina couldn't tell. Maybe they just had a sibling-like relationship. Because she was sure they would support each other with everything. They could also support each other and clean the house for once. She opened the door to the room slowly and saw the kids sitting, in the same way, they were when she left them. Which was very shocking. They were so focused on Sana that neither of them heard Mina walk in. She stood right behind them and also watched Sana. Or her silhouette under the duvet.
"Hey. We will go out soon. You guys should get ready." All three turned their heads to Mina and looked slightly disappointed. Mina found it endearing in a way. She wasn't sure why everyone enjoyed teasing Sana so much but she couldn't stop them. No matter how much she would try to.
"But what if auntie Sana snores?" Tzuyu whined and Dahyun and Chaeyoung nodded along to her complaint. It was rather comical. But she couldn't let them stay in there for a few hours just observing Sana. Though they would've probably grown bored of it at some point.
"I will tell you then. She does snore." The three kids' faces lit up and they all high-fived before getting off the bed and going downstairs. Mina shot Sana one last look before following them.
"I am sorry. They will forget soon." Surely, Sana wouldn't be mad at Mina for it.
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