Once the plane lands, he won't need to see Minho anymore. He will run to take a taxi he barely can afford and be driven back home. Back to the safety of his own place, far away from this annoying distraction that is Minho talking to him for nine hours straight. By now, Jinwoo knows Minho’s taste, Minho’s hobbies, Minho’s friends and family, he has hummed his songs to him and rambled about how inconsiderate his bandmates are from not coming to Hawaii with him - and, at this point, Jinwoo has to agree; maybe then Minho wouldn’t be stuck next to him, maybe he would be able to watch his drama in peace and his heart wouldn't ache and itch at the same pace of Minho’s breathe.

Little Jinwoo knows, though, his head gently pressed against Minho’s shoulder, lips ghosting over his hair, eyes flushed shut and a warm, rich voice lulling him. He lets Minho thrown his arms around him, he lets him hold his hands while he slept, he allows his chit-chat to fall on him like rain, pitapatting against the window of the plane. He lets him be because this is his only chance, his last opportunity before stepping out of his life, out of this shared leap of time.

Perhaps Jinwoo has given up on catching up with IU’s last drama - the one starring with Pyo Jihoon, the one Minho had been butting in all afternoon the day before - but that doesn’t mean that he wants to hear Minho doodling all the ink he wants to get on his palm, his fingertips running up to his upper arm, tickling his flesh and his heart, telling him about all the patches of his body he has covered in flashes of shades. Up in the sky he can’t use wifi, but he has a good stock of dramas downloaded but, instead, he is constantly interrupted and he hasn’t the energy for being rude and edgy or to shut Minho up with a kiss as it might work better - it should work for a moment before Minho would be back at him, back at talking about feelings, confessing something that Jinwoo is too exhausted to notice. Kissing him wouldn’t be any good and he has no other option but to remain silent, listening to his babble. Because kissing Minho might be the one thing he wants to do more - to taste the metal ring on his lips, to put away the pout on his face whenever he isn’t paying him attention - but he is also sure that it would only be trouble - that Minho himself is a big nuisance.

When the flight is over and he is walking down Incheon, the casted shadow that is Minho has dissipated. He takes the bus back home and forgets about him in an instant that lasts more than a year.

Back home, he blocks his name and buries down all the memories shared - his hands on his skin, a voice that is too deep to skip, allowing his mind to swirl within his words to fall asleep on the plane, eyes that cracked creases whenever he laughed (and how easy he laughed and how pretty the sound of it was, like songs and bells ringing in the sky). He presses them out of his system but keeps Minho inside his pocket chest, just close enough for the recollection to be there but do not emerge, not to bloom into something fully, into a blue rose of magic and miracles he doesn’t need but that are so dear to him.

But it is all in vain because even when he is just sitting on his couch, Minho is with him - he is everywhere, on his favourite radio show, on the advertisement on the metro station, in every damn variety show. He is even on his phone, under the shape of texts and unanswered calls.

Because he has promised him a coffee and Minho hasn’t forgotten. Jinwoo is running out of excuses while Minho presses him, so persistent, so insistent. He asks even though Jinwoo won’t answer, he texted him despite knowing fully well that Jinwoo will ignore it - that the most he can expect is a lame excuse, not even himself can believe in. Somehow Minho can’t let him go.

Maybe it’s because he is exhausted, perhaps he has run out of pretexts, mayhaps it’s because he just can’t and so he gives in to Minho. He is listening to his songs when he picked up the phone. Even though it has been 4 months, Jinwoo can still imagine Minho’s smile, the texture and the colour of his voice beaming at his response.

Minho comes to his home with the excuse of a coffee - better indoor, people could suspect otherwise. He comes in with a USB filled with dramas and a whole bunch of pictures of IU and even a signed CD that Jihoon has managed to sneak and to ask her as a favour to Minho while they were out on holidays with the whole cast of Hotel del Luna.

It is supposed to be just a quick coffee but Minho brings in dramas to watch and Jinwoo can’t resist and the afternoon gives way to beers and dinner and lots of giggles. And Jinwoo finds out, the next morning, that waking up with Minho sleeping on his bed is not too bad - and his sheets smells like coffee and ginger and bergamot and it’s not unpleasant this time around. Breakfast sparks with joy and funny remarks and promises of seeing each other again because Jinwoo knows that Minho will come uninvited - and that he will be delighted with it.

It has been 44 weeks since they had met. Now Jinwoo knows all the ways Minho’s eyes wrinkle with his smile, all the octaves hid on his voice, all the stupid things he has done, all the tattoos engraved on his skin - his hands have danced over them, tracing them like soft petals, he has drawn on his flesh; a white notebook full of possibilities, open to everything. By now Jinwoo has been to Minho’s dorm, has met his friends and his managers and Jhonny loves him more than she likes her owner.

Seungyoon is 4 times cuter and sweeter than Minho; he likes to cling into him, he likes to pretend that he is his long-time friend, a big brother, someone who he looks up to even though Jinwoo is nowhere close to being a role model, he is only a teacher in a kindergarten school. Seunghoon is 44 times wiser and funnier than Minho, every time he meets with him, he treats his food and ends with tears in his eyes. He always has something to say, something to explain and Jinwoo enjoys his company very much. And, yet, he is already charmed by Minho - silly, stupid, caring, kind-hearted, lovable. And, somehow, Minho is totally enchanted by Jinwoo - has since the beginning, since the first time he saw him, sitting alone, trying to watch some dramas; the nice man who told him not to worry, the person who let him stuck with him despite not knowing each other. But they are nothing but good friends. Friends who have dinner together while crying over dramas, friends getting drunk together, stacking beer cans and soju bottles on the floor and singing perfectly in sync to all Winner’s songs, friends who dream about kissing each other, about holding hands without the guilty feeling.

Now, when Minho calls, Jinwoo rushes to pick up the phone. If Minho comes to his home, Jinwoo ensures that he cooks his favourite dishes, that he has notebooks ready for him to draw and write if inspiration hits him while he is not on his studio. Jinwoo goes to Minho’s studio if he doesn’t hear about him for more than a few days and drags him back to the daylight. Sometimes even Minho’s manager calls him to ask if Minho is around - sometimes to get a coffee and exchange opinions about Minho’s whereabouts.

After nearly a year, Minho’s fans know about Jinwoo - about the pretty boy who, sometimes hangs out with Winner, pops up on Minho’s VLives and goes to their concerts if he has the time. Some fans even ship them - which is crazy because it is not true but it’s neither a lie if Jinwoo is honest with his heart.

If Jinwoo has to be honest then he will have to split all the sentiments he has storage inside his chest, all the times he has whispered Minho’s name at the wind, mumbling it against his pillow, against the moon and the stars. If he has to tell the truth, he would have to admit that he loves Minho too. If he admits, if he faces it, if he grows the courage to explain to him… but he cannot. There are too many things to take into account and that he can’t ignore, that he can’t be greedy to disregard. He can’t tarnish Minho’s reputation, he can’t ruin his career, he can’t be the downfall for him, for his team - and he thinks of Seunghoon dancing in flashes of lights on the stage, and Seungyoon’s sweet, velvety voice, his fingertips strumming his guitar. No, he cannot do it and so he keeps his feelings alive, safe under layers of concealed indifference.

Because he loves Minho enough to know that he won’t be happy just with him, that he needs the stage, to perform, to give away his creativity, his talents. And Jinwoo is kind enough to be aware of it, of his limitations, of what would happen and it hurts. It hurt to be so close to the sun but unable to reach it, to touch it with his lips - to let it burn him alive, consume his soul and life.

How long has it been? Jinwoo can’t remember, he only knows that he doesn’t know a day without Minho by his side. How many days have they shared pointing out stupid lines out of cliché dramas? How many pre-shows have they been together too? Jihoon has invited them to so many he has lost track - in the end, Jihoon turned out to be a great actor. How many concerts has he assisted to? As many as Winner did - he has gone to every one of them just to cheer them with all his heart. How many kisses did Minho steal from him at the back-stage? Too many to recount, too little for Minho who, after all these years, still kisses him like the first time. Jinwoo feels like the first time, too, whenever their lips meet, trembling in excitement, like little kids.

Yes, nobody can know but it is worth the risk, it is worth the pain, the insecurities, the secrecy of it. Because some nights Minho sleeps next to him and Jinwoo can count the stars inside his orbs.
And maybe it’s not what he was waiting for but, with Minho pressed against his chest, he can pretend that everything is alright, perfect. Because life isn’t perfect after all but Minho makes it all worth all the troubles.

What it took was only another travel that was the beginning of their shared journey. Another bunch of hours to pass together on another plane back home from Hawaii. Hours with nothing else to do but to talk, and nothing else to talk but love - it took half the flight for Minho to convince Jinwoo that it was alright to give it a try. The other half was used for better things that required lips and hands and lights off.

Because Minho is annoying and a bother but Jinwoo doesn’t mind - he doesn’t because it’s what he likes about him the most.