She felt like her soul was being drained out of her.

 

Sinb didn’t know what it was, probably the tiring practices for the dance club, maybe the exams being just around the corner, perhaps it was the rain pouring down like some deity decided to empty the oceans over them.

 

Her friends noticed but didn’t think much of it. They even once in a while and she would join them but deep inside she knew she wasn’t in the mood for jokes.

 

But she didn’t want them to worry, so she acted like she was okay.

 

She was just not in the mood for anything. It wasn’t really a cause for concern. But apparently someone thought it was something serious.

 

Sinb was still standing by her desk that morning, eyeing the object on top of her desk in wonder. She had entered the classroom over 10 minutes ago and was met by the sight of a yellow lunchbox on top of her desk, with a yellow sticky note on it that read ‘Good morning Sinb-ssi! Cheer up! ’.

 

She was very sure that it was definitely not her lunchbox. The color was a bit too bright for her taste, but the gesture didn’t fail in putting a smile on her face as soon as she saw the note.

 

“Ooohhh~~ Ms. Hwang has a secret admirer.” Yewon remarked, looking over her shoulder at the note that Sinb was now holding between her fingers.

 

Sinb scoffed, taking her seat and placing the lunch box underneath her desk, “No way. This person’s probably just doing this to be nice.”

 

“Making lunch for you?” Yewon questioned, an eyebrow raised as she took the seat beside her, “I’d probably just buy you a sandwich and some juice if I wanted to be nice, but they went ahead and made you lunch. That’s… three levels above nice, Sinb.”

 

Knowing she had a point, Sinb conceded, “But maybe it’s just for today. Aish, he/she should have left a name though, this is really kind of them…”

 

“I’d probably broadcast it to the whole school!” Eunha interrupted, taking the seat in front of them then holding her phone in front of her like a microphone, “Mic test. To that admirer who left me a lunchbox, please show yourself, I want to thank you personally.”

 

“That sounds like a cringy cliché Cinderella type modern fairytale to me…” Sinb grumbled.

 

“Because it is!”

 

“Then I won’t do it.”

 

Yewon stared, “You were thinking of doing it?”

 

“O-of course not…”

 

“Do I hear a ‘yes’…?”

 

“No! Aish, this is probably just a one time thing anyway. Stop it.” Sinb grumbled, not really in the mood for teasing.

 

But she won’t deny it. The gesture really brought her mood up somewhat. The thought that someone actually went through the effort to make her something made her feel special in a way and she’s very thankful for that.

 

And she can be assured that it was for her since her name was mentioned.

 

She carefully, placed the note inside the back cover of her notebook, eager for lunchtime to arrive.

 

Now that she thinks about it, it’s been a while since she actually had a proper lunch meal. With the competition drawing close, the club was using all available time they had for practices so the most that Sinb had for lunch was just some bread she bought from the cafeteria and water.

 

Did this person know she’s been skipping her meals…?

 

---

 

The following day, Sinb was walking through the halls towards her classroom, the lunchbox inside her bag and thinking on how to return the said item.

 

The food was really delicious, she could almost say that whoever made it could be a professional and Sinb has never been more energetic during their practice right after eating it. She’s not much of an expert in cooking but she could easily tell the food was prepared with care. It made her feel slightly flattered that she was gifted something special.

 

It would have been nice if she knew who made it so she could thank the person personally but it was obvious there was no way of that happening anytime soon. The note didn’t even indicate any clue on who it was.

 

Reaching her classroom, she was met by the sight of her two friends currently standing around her desk, seemingly in a discussion over something. A closer look was all Sinb needed to understand why they were acting that way.

 

“No way.” Sinb gaped at the item on her desk.

 

“Oh, Sinb, y–” Eunha spoke, turning to her slightly shell-shocked friend, “Why are you looking like that?”

 

“She’s probably surprised her admirer left her something again.” Yewon remarked with a shrug.

 

“No!!!” Sinb dropped her bag on her seat in excitement and quickly grabbed the item off her desk, “Don’t you know what this is!? It’s a Gryffindor scarf! See? Wahhh~ the logo is here too.” she hugged the scarf tightly, squealing slightly in happiness, “Wait. Is this mine? If it’s not, can I have it?”

 

“It’s definitely yours.” Yewon held out a sticky note which Sinb took, a smile adorning her face the moment she read the content.

 

‘It’s cold out~ keep warm ^^’

 

“I therefore conclude, Sinb has an admirer.” Yewon said.

 

“I don’t understand…” Sinb mumbled, hugging her new scarf tightly like it was the most precious thing in the entire world, “Why do this…?”

 

“When you like someone, is there any explanation when you do the things you do?” Eunha asked back.

 

“I still don’t get it. Anyway, the least I can do is thank this person.” Sinb took a seat, still hugging the scarf tightly, “It’s the polite thing to do, but I don’t know how.”

 

“Just leave a post it here.” Yewon answerer matter-of-factly, “Since your admirer comes here to leave you the gifts, they’d see it if you leave something here.”

 

Sinb stared, then nodded, “You’re right. I should do that.”

 

Eunha giggled, pinching Yewon’s cheeks and cooed, “My Yewon’s so smart!”

 

“Hey, hey.” Sinb broke the two apart, “We have one rule remember? No cheesy stuff when I’m here.”

 

“You’re just jealous you don’t have someone.” Eunha stuck out her tongue at her while hugging the younger woman around the waist. Sinb just rolled her eyes at them.

 

“Am not. Remember, when we’re together it’s Eunha, Yewon, and me, not: The Smalls and the Third Wheel.”

 

Eunha was on her immediately, while the youngest tried to pull her back, “I thought we already talked about this ‘smalls’ business!”

 

Sinb just shrugged. It was fun teasing them about it especially when they react that way all the time, she couldn’t help it.

 

And besides, they were teasing her too. This is just payback.

 

“Anyway,” Yewon took the sticky note from Sinb’s hands, abruptly changing the subject, “Let’s think of a reply for your admirer.”

 

Sinb snatched the note back, “Not this.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You can’t write on this.”

 

“Why not? It’s already there anyway.”

 

“Just, no. Not this.” Sinb shook her head vehemently.

 

“You’re not planning to keep that are you?” Eunha asked suspiciously. Sinb dreaded the look on the woman’s face. Her eyes were sparkling, a sign that she was about to tease the hell out of her once again.

 

“No!” she replied loudly. Too loudly, “I mean, of course I’m keeping it instead of throwing it away. It’s–it’s also rude to use this. I’m expressing my gratitude remember? I should at least use a new sticky note to reply. Right.”

 

Sinb nodded to herself. She was doing this be nice. It’s rude to write on the already used sticky note for this. It’s not like she was collecting the messages for herself to look at when she was studying to motivate her like what she does with the first note. Not really.

 

Taking a seat and pulling out the yellow lunchbox, she took out a post it and a pen and was about to write on it when she paused.

 

She looked up at her two friends, “What do I write?”

 

The two stared at her blankly, “You write ‘Thank You’ like a normal person would.”

 

“Are you sure that’s enough? I mean-” she gestured to the lunchbox and scarf, “This is a big deal. Is thank you really enough? Maybe I should leave a gift too?”

 

“You’re thinking too much, just write it Sinb.” Yewon urged, “At least you’re recognizing the person’s efforts. Unless you want to write a letter of thanks then I have some stationery here in my bag–”

 

“Okay, fine, sheesh.” she grumbled.

 

Sinb wrote slowly, wanting to make sure that her handwriting was legible and won’t scare the person off. She added a small heart at the end and once satisfied, she stuck it on top of the lunchbox then placed it underneath her desk.

 

“…a heart.” Yewon snickered, seeing what the woman wrote.

 

“I don’t wanna hear it. Now shoo.”

 

“I’m your seatmate.”

 

“Shoo! Shoo!”

 

---

 

 

The following evening, Sinb lay on her bed, holding up and reading and rereading the content of the post it note that she got that morning.

 

She had gotten yet another gift from her… admirer. She still hasn’t gotten used to calling this person that. This time it was a tiny white furry dog plushie that she immediately fell in love with the moment she laid her eyes on it.

 

The yellow lunchbox that she left on her desk the previous day was gone, replaced by the plushie, a new yellow lunchbox this time and a post it saying ‘You’re welcome! I’m glad you liked it. I hope you like these too ^^’

 

She didn’t just like it. She loved it. The lunch was delicious. And she loved the plushie so much she wouldn’t let go of it the entire day and showed it off to Yewon and Eunha more times than she could count.

 

At the moment, she was cuddling the plushie while reading the note one more time.

 

She had left the empty and washed lunchbox and another note on her desk again when classes ended, thanking the person once again for the gifts and also asking why they were going through the effort and if it was possible for them to meet.

 

Of course Sinb was curious. Her friends even suggested that they get to school early so that they can catch whoever it was that was leaving the gifts.

 

“Don’t do that.” she told them with a small frown, “What if you scare the person away?”

 

“Aren’t you curious?”

 

“Of course I am. But they obviously don’t want to be known.” Sinb reasoned out, “It’s better if they come forward on their own, and without anyone forcing them to.”

 

Sinb did say that but in fact she was slightly fearful of the outcome when she finds out who it is. She liked someone at one point and turned out to be disastrous for her. After that, she kept her emotions at bay, almost promising to herself that she wouldn’t be attracted to anyone anymore. It worked too much that people thought she really wasn’t to humans completely.

 

She thinks that, if this person does indeed reveal themselves, will she be obligated to like them back just because they gave her gifts? She was sure it doesn’t work that way.

 

She was new to this and she didn’t exactly know how to go about it.

 

For now she settled with asking the person properly if they want to meet, then perhaps she can figure out how to go from there.

 

But what if the person wasn’t her type? She’d definitely feel bad if she rejected them. After all that effort they poured only for it to be wasted, she would be living with the guilt of causing that person pain.

 

She doesn’t mind being friends though…

 

She stared at the note again, then buried her face in the pillow, grumbling, “Why is this so hard?”

Sinb then shook her head. She can worry about this when she gets a response to the note.

 

---

 

 

She didn’t get a response, nor a post it the next morning.

 

But her friends came with news.

 

“We saw who it is!” Eunha told her excitedly.

 

Sinb just stared at them, face devoid of emotion as they told her they managed to catch a glimpse of their classmate, Yuna, leaving her gifts on the desk. They said she took the note and the lunchbox as well.

 

The gift for that day was a wand and some round specs. Specifically like the ones Harry Potter had and she was more than ecstatic to have them. But at the same time she felt bad just receiving them without doing anything for the person in return.

 

“I told you not to do it.” Sinb just said, unamused.

 

“We didn’t get caught. Don’t worry.”

 

Sinb wanted to retort. It wasn’t about them getting caught. It was about respecting the person’s choice whether to remain anonymous or not.

 

What was Sinb supposed to do with this information now? She can’t possibly just approach and tell her ‘Hey, I know you’re the one sending me gifts.’ and then?

 

Slumping against her desk, she just rested her head on her arms and kept silent, trying to sort out the inner turmoil going on inside her.

 

Yuna was a nice person. She helped her classmates when she could, she was slightly weird but not bothersome, in fact her antics amused the class and it made them like her more. But above all that, she was known as the choir club’s golden voice. Eunha was in the same club and could attest to that title.

Sinb would love to be friends with her. Just from group works and those rare times they’ve actually talked, she already knew the woman would be a great person to hang out with. But this information that Yewon and Eunha shared just made it harder for her to approach the woman without making it look awkward.

 

She’s thankful for her friends’ help, really. But sometimes…

 

She sighed.

 

“Hey,” she felt a hand on her shoulder and when she looked up, she saw it was Yewon, “You okay?”

 

“Huh? Yeah, I’m good.” she answered, managing to convince them somehow.

 

“Good, because I’m not done talking yet. We saw it was her.” Eunha continued narrating, “She took the lunchbox with your note on it and then left…”

 

Sinb furrowed her brows, “Wait, so it wasn’t Yuna-ssi?”

 

“Uh, no, let me finish.” Eunha held out a hand for her to stop talking, “And then she went to the library.”

 

“And?”

 

“That’s it.”

 

“What do you mean ‘that’s it’?”

 

“Exactly what it means. But she stayed there for quite a while and we can’t follow her there because it was still early and we would be too obvious. And when she came out, she didn’t have your note with her anymore and she came out with that.”

 

She gestured to the yellow lunchbox that came along with the gifts.

 

“So I told Eunha-unnie she might be making the delivery for someone else who couldn’t come here. Maybe a hoobae? Since they don’t really come over to the senior classrooms.”

 

Sinb just shook her head. It was all just innocent gift-giving that they were dealing with from a supposed admirer (that she still doesn’t believe she has) and now it became a complicated chain of characters involved and it was making her head hurt now.

 

“So what? We’re heading over to the library to check out who it might be?” Sinb meant that as a joke but Eunha took it seriously and almost yelled out in agreement excitedly. Too excitedly.

 

Sinb turned to Yewon, silently asking her same age friend for help but was only met with a shrug. Not even Yewon could control Eunha when the bunny got too excited, and that was saying a lot.

 

---

 

And that’s how they found themselves inside the library after classes. Sinb leaving the empty lunchbox back in her room and leaving a note again, hoping that she gets a reply this time. She was slightly thankful that it wasn’t Yuna. At least she could still be friends with her classmate without everything turning awkward for the both of them. But now she has to deal with this.

 

If anyone asked her, she really wouldn’t bother. But she convinced herself that she was only doing this to thank the person for the gifts. They were really special gifts that she will forever treasure and just a thank you from a small post it note wasn’t going to cut it. Definitely not.

 

She was determined to return the favor somehow. And she thought, maybe if she finds out who it is, she can think of a good way to thank the person without scaring them off.

 

The library was pretty much packed, what with exams just around the corner, a lot of students were trying their hardest to cram all information in their brain just so they could get good marks, especially for the seniors since this was their ticket to getting into good schools for college.

 

Sinb groaned, “Seeing all the seniors here makes me want to start cramming too.”

 

“You’re already doing well enough.” Yewon assured her.

 

“That’s only because you’re tutoring me.” she replied, which was the truth. Her friend was smart, and it’s only because of her that she and Eunha are able to make it through their classes.

 

Yewon is literally the two Eunbi’s savior.

 

They walked over to the front desk where a bunch of people were lined up to log in as what was required of them. They were supposed to record the time they came in and the time they left, though they didn’t know the purpose of it but perhaps it was for security purposes just in case stuff got lost.

 

When it was finally their turn, Sinb turned to the person behind the desk.

 

“Oh, Sinb-ssi.” the librarian greeted, pleasantly surprised to see her. Sinb returned the greeting, “I guess even the exams are making you come over despite your club practices.”

 

“The members need to pass their classes too.” Sinb answered amusedly as they both shared a laugh.

 

When Sinb was a freshman, she had volunteered to help out at the library just so she could escape doing any other required duties after school. It was the ideal place for her, no noise, no trouble, it allowed her to adjust properly to the new school and most of all, gave her plenty of time to rest. In the end, she stayed there for a whole year until she decided to try out for the dance club the following year. Nevertheless, she got close with all the people that worked there, especially the librarian.

 

Once in a while she would visit to see how they were doing and would help out whenever she had free time.

 

And it was because of that when she noticed something missing.

 

Looking around in wonder, she turned to the librarian and asked, “Where’s Yerin-unnie?”

 

“Yerin’s at the back room sorting out some new books that just arrived. “ she explained, gesturing behind her, “I told her to put it off at least when the library’s not full but she was really eager to get back there for some reason. It was weird. She was just lazing around a while ago.”

 

Sinb just nodded in understanding, “That’s a shame.”

 

“If you stay long enough you might bump into her. Yerin’s in charge of closing and opening the library for this month. You should get a glimpse of her sometime later.”

 

Sinb grinned at this information, eager to see her sunbae once more, “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.”

 

Jung Yerin was Sinb’s sunbae who showed her the ropes when she first stepped foot in the library. Turns out that she has been assistant librarian since her freshman days and knew the entire library like the back of her hand. Sinb found her to be a great person to hang out with and would share some stories with her when they had nothing to do.

 

Though she had already graduated, she found out Yerin would still come over to the library to help out before she headed to work and after she got off work, which was admirable, to say the least. She hasn’t seen hide nor hair of the woman recently and she was eager to be able to see her sunbae again.

 

“Don’t make too much noise.” the librarian reminded her, placing a finger on her lips which she mirrored for fun.

 

“I didn’t know you were close with the librarian.” Eunha remarked as the three of them walked over to a vacant table.

 

“I helped out here when I was a freshman.” she explained, “I still help out once in a while. The library’s a great place.”

 

“I agree. They let me sleep all I want here.” Eunha agreed.

 

“Of course that’s this place’s main purpose…” Sinb rolled her eyes, sarcasm dripping from her words, “Anyway, you should meet Yerin-unnie. I haven’t introduced you to her just yet. But maybe later when she isn’t so busy.”

 

“Are you talking about Yerin-sunbaenim?” Yewon stared, knowing about the senior during their freshman days, “I didn’t know you were close.”

 

“Not really too close.” Sinb replied, “She just showed me how things worked here and maybe we did sit and talk about things once in a while, but this place is our only hang out place.”

 

“But she does know about your likes and dislikes?” Yewon asked while Eunha gasped.

 

“Hey!”

 

“Shhh!” Sinb covered Eunha’s mouth to keep her from talking out loud again. They were in a library, which meant silence is the one rule they have to keep in mind at all times.

 

“Oh, sorry. But hey!” she whisper yelled this time, shoving Sinb’s hand off her lips and leaning forward so that they were the only ones who could hear her, “Maybe it’s her!” Eunha remarked, getting excited again.

 

“Hey, that actually might make sense. The library was still closed when Yuna-unnie entered. So maybe…”

 

Sinb frowned, disagreeing almost immediately, “…It can’t be her.”

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

“Yerin-unnie’s dating Sojung-sunbaenim.” Sinb told them, “It can’t be her.”

 

---

 

The following day Sinb finally received a note.

 

‘Maybe not just yet. But your thanks is more than enough. Don’t think too much about it, let me pamper you a bit more >_< ’

 

She still felt bad, she thought as she absentmindedly began eating from the lunchbox during breaktime. She was staring into space, ignoring the ramblings of her two friends sitting right across her.

 

In the end, they never really got to meet Yerin at the library which disheartened her slightly. She won’t deny she really looked forward to seeing her sunbae again. Maybe she did grow attracted to her at some point, being so caring and making sure that she didn’t feel too out of place. Yerin even fetched her to her classroom during her first day, made her feel welcome, took her to the nurse’s office when she ran a fever she didn’t realize until Yerin had pointed it out, helped her with her studies—okay, perhaps Yerin had a bigger impact on her than she initially thought. But that was years ago, during her freshman days.

 

She buried those feelings the moment she heard that her and Kim Sojung, another sunbaenim of theirs and Yerin’s classmate, were seeing each other. Sinb never really asked, but it was obvious with how they were stuck at the hip most of the time. Maybe that one sided love she experienced hurt her more than she expected it to if she was reliving all of it now.

 

But now that her two friends had pointed it out, those feelings were resurfacing even for just a little bit. First loves weren’t exactly that easy to forget. She started to notice things from the gifts that was making her hopeful and she hated it. She hated giving herself hope.

 

Yellow was definitely Yerin’s color.

 

Her sunbae knew about her Harry Potter obsession.

 

And she knew she liked puppies. Even introducing her to Angkko, the pup she got during second year.

 

She’s never really shared her likes and dislikes to anyone that wasn’t a close friend and the more that she thought about it, it really made sense if her secret gift giver was indeed Yerin.

 

Her chopsticks hit against the empty container, making her look down, seeing that she had finished her lunch without her knowing. Sighing silently, she closed it, planning to wash it later before leaving school. Sinb really couldn’t think of anyone else on who it could be…

 

Her curiosity was piqued.

 

Perhaps… Yerin was just doing this to take care of her just like how she did before. A simple gesture of friendship.

 

But the anonymity wasn’t really necessary, right?

 

Sinb closed her eyes, trying to will away the headache that was starting to form.

 

“If you’re so troubled over this.” Yewon finally spoke up, getting her attention, “Why not ask Yerin-sunbae about it?”

 

“I-I don’t know… what if we’re wrong?” she asked back in such a small voice that got her friends concerned almost immediately.

“Sinb, what’s wrong?” Eunha asked, the worry in her tone showing that she wasn’t settling for jokes this time and that they understood that there was something bothering her. Eunha could be a big tease sometimes, not taking most things seriously, but she can be serious when she needs to.

 

And so Sinb didn’t hesitate and explained her entire situation to them, earning understanding looks from the two once she was done.

 

“I don’t know… I just don’t want to get my hopes up but I can’t think of anyone else that could do this.” Sinb mumbled. No. She knew she can’t think of anyone else but Yerin. Deep inside she was hoping that it really was Yerin behind all of it.

 

Maybe it was better that she didn’t let her curiosity get the better of her.

 

---

 

“Sinb-ssi?”

 

Sinb looked up at the sound of an unfamiliar voice calling her name and saw her classmate Yuna standing before her desk, holding a lunchbox in one hand and a post it with the other.

 

“Yuna-ssi?”

 

Said singer just smiled, “No need for that, you can just call me Yuna.” she told her.

 

“You can just call me Sinb then.”

 

Yuna nodded, placing the items she was holding to on her desk, “Your friends managed to catch me that one time so I guess the cat’s out the bag. But, I hope you don’t think it’s me being the secret admirer or anything. I’m just doing a friend a favor.”

 

“Thank you… I won’t lie, I thought it was you when they told me.” they chuckled. Sinb stared at the items, then gasped, “Is this…?”

 

“It’s a limited edition Krystal photocard.” Yuna confirmed, watching in amusement as Sinb held up the said item like a jeweler examining a 24 carat diamond ring. The amazement on her face was one she would definitely tell her friend about when they meet again later, “My friend said you’ll like it.”

 

Sinb was out of words. It was extremely difficult to get one and to think that the person just went through such efforts to procure it… at this rate even a simple thank you could never be enough.

 

“Don’t stress yourself too much over the gifts.” Yuna told her, “My friend just has connections here and there, she thought you’d like them and sent them. I won’t lie, I’ve been the one telling her you’ve been looking down recently so she thought up of this.”

 

So it is a woman.

 

Sinb just nodded, swallowing lightly as she looked back at her classmate, “Do you know why she’s doing this?”

 

“She just likes you a lot. And she hates seeing you being tired and sad and ‘looking empty’.” Yuna quoted the air with her fingers, “And you’re not obligated to like her back because of this. Don’t think too much of it, she just wants to cheer you up and your happiness is more than enough of a reward for her.”

 

Yuna grumbled, to herself, “I can’t believe she’s making me say all this cheesy stuff…”

 

Sinb couldn’t help but laugh slightly at that before falling silent. A question was already bugging her ever since Yuna began telling her about the mystery woman, but she was hesitant to ask.

 

“Is she a good person?” she just found herself asking and mentally slapped herself in the head for asking such a thing. She literally sends her gifts just to cheer her up without expecting anything in return, and she’s asking if she’s a good person?

 

“I think you already know the answer to that question Sinb.” Yuna replied, smiling slightly, “I know what you really want to ask.”

 

“Y-you do?”

 

She nodded. The assuring smile that Yuna gave her managed to calm her down somewhat but she was still nervous.

 

“T-Then… can I know who she is?” Sinb finally said.

 

“That’s actually the other reason why I’m here.” she told her, handing her another post it, “She wants to meet you.”

 

Sinb took the note with shaky hands and stared down at the familiar handwriting. This time in a new light as her questions were finally going to be answered, if her suspicions were correct the entire time, or was she just hoping for nothing like what she initially thought.

 

“Don’t think too much about it.” Yuna told her, “I have to go and tell her you received the note. I’ll catch you later Sinb.”

 

Sinb didn’t answer, her entire focus being on the note and what’s written in it. Yuna seemed to understand, nevertheless and left her alone.

 

‘Right after classes, when everyone’s left, I’d like to meet you at the yard behind the school’

 

---

Sinb never told her friends about the meeting, nor the conversation that she had with Yuna. She needed some time to think about it herself, if she really wanted to meet this person or not. She couldn’t even understand what was making her hesitate in the first place. Perhaps, because she was expecting it to be Yerin, she wouldn’t be able to deal with the disappointment if ever it wasn’t.

 

Of course there was nothing wrong with heading there and seeing for herself, but just what if?

 

She won’t deny it. She was scared of what the outcome would be. It was frustrating her, to think that she thought she had already buried these feelings that she had for her sunbae a long time ago, but in the end it was just her forcing herself to forget the heartbreak that she didn’t know she suffered. And now that those feelings were resurfacing, she didn’t know how to deal with them, didn’t know how to take it if ever her gift giver turned out to be a different person than who she expected.

 

Yuna did tell her not to think too much about it but she couldn’t help her mind sometimes.

 

Hours passed and before she knew it classes have ended, everyone left, the school is empty besides the professors and the employees and so she found herself walking towards the yard with sluggish footsteps, her heart hammering in her chest and her nervousness soaring to new heights.

 

It was ridiculous. What she was feeling was ridiculous to her.

 

It was simple. She just meets up and they can be friends or something. Why was she acting this way?

 

Because you want the person to be Yerin-unnie. She heard a small voice at the back of her mind say, And you’re scared that you’re hoping for too much and end up disappointing yourself when it turns out to be someone else. You’ll be giving yourself a second heartbreak. That you will never be with Yerin-unnie no matter how much you hope and pray for it to be.

 

She halted in her footsteps.

 

This was why she buried her feelings in the first place. Why was she making herself go through this again…?

 

She was already outside the school, just a few more steps until she got to the yard. A few more steps to finding out who it is and now she was hesitating whether to take those steps or not.

 

Get a grip Sinb. Stop overthinking this and pull yourself together. Yerin-unnie or not, you still have to meet this person.

 

She saw movement from the corner of her eye. With the school almost empty it wasn’t that hard to miss, but she almost hoped that she did after realizing who it was.

 

It was their other sunbae, Kim Sojung.

 

And based from the direction she was walking to, she was heading towards the library.

 

Sinb stopped. If she was heading to the library that meant Yerin was there. And if Yerin was there, then the person at the yard was…?

 

Sinb felt her heart sink to her stomach. All energy drained from her almost immediately. She was already expecting it, but she was hoping it wouldn’t be the case, but getting slapped by the hard truth was almost too much for her to bear.

 

It wasn’t Yerin.

 

And so she turned away, running.

 

---

 

Yuna looked up from her notes containing lyrics of a song she has been working on the moment she heard the door to the library open, a smile adorning her face when she saw who it was.

 

“Did I interrupt anything?” Sojung asked, peeking over at her behind the door while Yuna shook her head.

 

“I was just going over it before I submit it to be approved.” Yuna replied, closing the notebook and beckoning Sojung over for a hug that she thinks was long overdue. She hasn’t seen the older woman in a week due to her modeling schedule and she missed her a lot.

 

Sojung returned the hug accompanied by a soft kiss on the cheek, “Sorry I took so long, the photographer was very keen on how she wanted the photos to turn out.”

“You’re here now.” she answered, “It’s fine. Are you sure you still want to go on a date? You must be tired.”

 

“Of course I want to go on a date, why do you think I came all the way from the other city just to see you?” Sojung raised a brow, then looked around, “This place is too quiet though, where’s Yerin?”

“Unnie’s out waiting for her crush at the school yard.”

 

“Ah, right, the gifts.” Sojung chuckled, “Well, she should be having her moment by now. Should we have ours too?”

 

Yuna smiled, hooking her arm with hers, “Let’s go.”

 

---

 

Sinb begrudgingly dragged her feet to school, not in the mood for anything. She just wanted to stay underneath her covers and sleep the day away, hoping that everything that happened the previous day was all just one big, realistic dream and that the guilt that she was feeling was all just in her head and wasn’t messing up her mind the way it did to her now.

 

And the worst part, she couldn’t blame anyone but herself. She did this to herself and now it was eating at her slowly. If she doesn’t do anything to amend it, she’ll be living with the guilt for a long time.

 

She just stood up someone, how would anyone feel? Of course they’d resent her.

 

With a heavy heart, she continued on to her classroom, the journey feeling like she was walking a thousand miles with no end in sight and when she did reach it, there was this dying urge to turn away and just leave again.

 

She was sure there wasn’t going to be a gift for her today. Not after what she did. She most likely hurt that person’s feelings too.

 

And when she saw the empty desk glaring back at her, mocking her that she got what she deserved, she felt the guilt coming at her in full force. Her heart felt like it just crashed and burned, a sickening feeling in her stomach made her want to rush to the nurse’s office and stay there.

 

“Hey Sinb.” Eunha greeted, seeing her friend approaching, but immediately grew alarmed at the state the younger woman was in, “Hey. Are you okay? Are you sick?”

 

Yewon held a hand to her forehead, seeing how pale she was getting, “You don’t have a fever.”

 

“I’m fine…” she managed to croak out, grimacing at how pathetic she sounded.

 

“You’re obviously not okay. Come on, let’s get you to the nurse’s office and see if we can get you home…”

 

“I’m fine—“

 

“Stop being stubborn.” Yewon glared, already standing up from her seat and urging Sinb to go with her. Sinb didn’t really have to energy to, she was okay physically but her head was a mess and it was draining her faster than a vampire her blood out. Her worry was evident on her face, perhaps that’s what her friends witnessed and she almost hated it that she let her guard down. The last thing she wanted was to worry them but—

 

“You.”

 

Sinb blinked, brows furrowed. That wasn’t Yewon nor Eunha, but the voice seemed oddly familiar and it was close by. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but felt that it was someone significant and that she really should respond to it.

 

So she looked up, only to feel like air was knocked out of her lungs.

 

Yerin stood before her desk, wearing a flowery dress reaching past her knees. Sinb thought she looked prettier than she last saw her with how her makeup was done to perfectly accentuate her defining features.

 

She simply looked ethereal.

 

Sinb couldn’t take her eyes off her. As if she was still determining whether the person before was real or merely an illusion conjured by her mind, but she was back into reality when she spoke again.

 

“Hwang Eunbi.”

 

She felt a chill run down her spine upon hearing Yerin speak her name. No one has called her that in a while except Yerin. She had a habit of calling people by their full name and she didn’t mind it. Sinb personally liked how it rolled off her tongue so naturally.

 

“You didn’t go yesterday.”

 

Sinb’s thoughts came to a screeching halt.

 

“What?” she stared back at the older woman dumbly.

 

Yerin sighed, shifting a little bit and it was only then that Sinb noticed the familiar yellow lunchbox and something else, a cat plushie, that she held in her hands. She completely forgot how to speak the moment said items were both placed on top of her desk.

 

“You didn’t receive my note?” Yerin asked, leaning forward and looking down at her, her palms resting against her desk, face expressionless but really, the only thing Sinb could think of was how pretty she was—

 

“I—the note… was from you…?” Sinb asked in a small voice, her mind still wrapping around the whole situation.

 

Yerin pulled out a post it, playfully sticking it on her forehead. Sinb didn’t seem to mind, but she really needed to get that post it off her forehead because Yerin just smiled at her and she wouldn’t want to miss seeing that smile for the world.

 

“Yerin-unnie!” the both of them looked up to see Yuna gesturing outside.

 

The older woman sighed again, “Same place later.” Yerin told Sinb as she stood straight, “Don’t run away this time. I’ll be waiting.”

 

And before she could comprehend what was going on, Yerin was already out the door the same time their professor entered the room, leaving her in a dazed state.

 

If earlier her face looked like that of a ghost, she was sure she was burning up this time as she felt heat rising up her cheeks.

 

Apparently her friends also were shocked at the turn of events as they were rooted to their seats, gaping at the door Yerin had just walked through when she left.

 

“Was that…?” Eunha squeaked, pointing at the door while Sinb didn’t pay attention. Her gaze was on the two gifts on her desk at that moment then at the note she didn’t realize she had been holding onto since earlier noticing there was another post it underneath.

 

‘You remind me of a cat sometimes. They run away when they sense something might go wrong, that’s why they’re said to have 9 lives in the first place.

 

Don’t run away. I’ll be waiting’

 

 

---

 

It took her a while to convince her friends that she’ll be fine and that she didn’t need any backup and also promising to update them on how the meeting will turn out. Though there was a part of her that was unsure, but most of her was more than relieved to know that it was Yerin.

 

But that left a lot of unanswered questions in her head. Questions that she was more than determined to have answers to and the only way she will get them was to show up.

 

She was excited, she couldn’t deny that, slightly nervous, but she was excited nevertheless.

 

“You came.”

 

She had arrived just like what Yerin asked her to and almost forgot to speak when she saw the woman for the second time that day. It was as if her sunbae was casting some sort of spell on her that she couldn’t help but just stand there and stare, appreciating the beauty before her.

 

She snapped out of her thoughts and nodded, trying her best to focus on the situation at hand, “Y-yes…” she cleared , “I’m sorry for not showing up yesterday.”

 

“It’s fine.” Yerin replied giving her a look of understanding, “I guess I was too abrupt with my actions. I want to say sorry for that. I felt like I suddenly put you in a spot so I wanted to talk, but turns out it was a bad decision on my part as well.”

 

“No! No, it’s not your fault unnie. I stood you up and that obviously is my fault…”

 

“Would you meet with someone who just suddenly came out of nowhere and began sending you gifts, without any clue of identity?” Yerin told her, “You were right to be careful. I just moved too fast, let’s leave it at that.”

 

Sinb wanted to deny that it wasn’t the main reason why she ran away. That she was scared that it won’t be her. But that was almost the same as her admitting that she did have feelings for the woman and she wasn’t about to get her hopes up like that. Not until she understands why Yerin was doing all this in the first place.

 

So she kept quiet, letting her sunbae speak first.

 

“Did you like the gifts?” Yerin asked, Sinb finding it adorable how she felt nervous all of a sudden, “I mean, Yuna already told me but I wanted to hear it—“

 

“I loved them unnie.” Sinb cut her off, feeling herself relax slightly when she saw the woman let out a relieved sigh, “You still remember everything I told you…”

 

“Of course, I remember everything we talked about.” Yerin felt proud saying that, evidenced by the wide smile on her face that almost left Sinb breathless for a moment before she slapped herself mentally, reminding herself to focus.

 

“You’re probably wondering why I’m doing it?” Yerin tilted her head slightly to the side, Sinb’s heart beating quickly the moment she heard the question, she’s been meaning to ask.

 

“Y-Yes…”

 

Yerin let out a breath and approached until she was merely a couple feet away from her, “Look, I’ll cut to the chase, okay?”

 

“Uh, okay?”

 

“I like you.”

 

Sinb felt herself blank out at that. Like a computer that just crashed and was unable to comprehend whatever it had seen, heard or felt in the last couple seconds. And Sinb was in the process of rebooting her own system before she managed to speak out words that actually made sense to human ears.

 

“I— wha—unnie you—“ Sinb opened and closed a couple times, like a broken record, unable to form a coherent sentence. It was only when she heard Yerin laugh that she got her bearings, “Huh?”

 

But still in the middle of comprehending the whole situation.

 

“I like you.” Yerin repeated, amused at the younger’s reaction, “Do you need me to repeat it one more time?”

 

“N-no, I got it. I got it.” Sinb fanned her face slightly, very sure that her face was burning red at the moment. She was completely taken off guard, what can she expect?

 

“You look like you need to hear it one more time.” she teased.

 

“I’m good!” Sinb showed her a thumbs up sign. Hearing it again would surely make her combust, “I mean… Wait…” she in a breath, “Like, like like kind of like?”

 

“What?”

 

“I mean!” Sinb swallowed, rambling, “You like me… in a romantic sense? Or just as friends? Or like how I like puppies and Harry Potter, and Krystal—“

 

“Of course I meant the romantic sense, would you prefer I tell you I love you?”

 

Sinb was really sure her face has gone red to the point it might as well explode and have steam coming out of her ears.

 

“Unnie!” she whined.

 

Yerin just chuckled, thinking that she had done enough teasing for that day, “But I’m serious Eunbi-yah. I really like you.”
 

“S-Since when?” Sinb asked in a small voice, looking up at her sunbae and noticing that there was no more hint of amusement in her expression.

 

“I’m not sure.” Yerin replied, humming in thought, “Before I knew it, I just do. It was a small crush first, honestly and when I graduated the only thing going through my mind was that I won’t be able to see you again. It’s why I decided to help out at the library before and after work, if only to get a glimpse once in a while. I’m glad you’re doing well by the way.”

 

“Then… why just now?” Sinb asked. If what Yerin said was true, then she literally had years to confess like what she was doing now, but she waited. Sinb wants to know why.

 

“You’re graduating.” Yerin answered, sighing, “If you graduate I won’t know where you’ll be heading next. Seeing you will completely be up to chance. Anyway, Yuna told me you’ve been looking under the weather and I just saw you a few days ago looking so down, I won’t settle for that you know? I didn’t like it so I thought of bringing you stuff that would cheer you up. But then it would be weird for me to just approach you out of nowhere especially since I’m already a graduate, so I asked for Yuna’s help to leave them on your desk.”

 

Sinb envied how Yerin could explain everything to her so naturally without hesitation and everything in between while she, on the other hand, couldn’t even form a proper word without wracking her brains for the correct spelling and pronunciation of it.

 

She was a mess.

 

And it was high time that she calmed herself down because if Yerin could confess things like this, then she could too. The only thing stopping her was her inability to express herself without getting embarrassed in the process.

 

There was still that one thing bothering her though.

 

“I’m not asking you to respond, by the way. I can wait for your answer.” Yerin told her, offering an assuring smile, “I just really needed to get that out of my chest. It’s been years.”

 

“What about Sojung-sunbaenim?” she asked before she could stop herself.

 

Yerin looked genuinely confused, “What about Sojung-unnie?”

 

“I- Aren’t you two dating?”

 

“No? We never got together in the first place. What brought this on?”

“Huh? But students back then were saying you were together…” Sinb blinked.

 

“What?” Yerin’s brows furrowed, “I’ve never heard of that. There was a rumor about me and her going around?”

 

“Y-yes… they said they heard Sojung-sunbae confessing to you—come to think of it, they saw the both of you here.”

 

Yerin suddenly had a look of realization as she clapped her hands together once, as if a memory had just surfaced and it explained the entire situation to her, “Unnie was practicing with me that time.”

“Practicing?” now it was Sinb’s turn to be confused.

 

“Unnie was planning to confess to Yuna, something about falling in love with her voice and just everything that hoobae has, and asked me for help. I was helping her out go through the words that time.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“Wait, so this was why you ran away? You thought me and Sojung were together? But wait, that means you knew that it was me the entire time…”

Sinb shook her head, “N-No, I wasn’t sure. It was just a suspicion when my friends pointed it out.” she mumbled, “I ran away because… I thought it wasn’t you.”

 

“…So you were expecting it to be me?”

“More like I wanted it to be you.” Sinb was fidgeting with her fingers, feeling the intensity of the stare Yerin was giving her even if she wasn’t looking at the older woman.

 

Silence followed. Neither of them spoke, Sinb not knowing what to think of the moment. Did Yerin manage to get the meaning behind her words?

 

“So…” Yerin finally spoke after a few grueling minutes, “If you wanted me to be your admirer then… you—well, you like me too? Unless, of course I’m reading into this wrong a—“

 

“Yes.”

 

“…Oh.”

 

Sinb took courage and looked up at the woman, seeing her genuinely surprised at the confession. The surprise on her face took Sinb slightly off-guard. Did that mean Yerin wanted to confess despite being unsure her feelings would be reciprocated? That was brave of her.

 

“I did not expect you to answer that quickly.” Yerin laughed slightly, “But… I guess I can ask you now that I know.”

 

Sinb tilted her head in confusion, curious about what else Yerin wanted to say.

“Asking you to be my girlfriend would be too much.” she mumbled, “But maybe we can go on a date sometime? Somewhere that’s not the library.”

 

Sinb laughed at that, finally feeling herself relax and nodded, “Sure, I’d like that… a date sounds nice.”

“Great!” Yerin grinned happily, her hands moving on their own and before SInb could comprehend what was happening, she was already jumping up and down with her sunbae. Surprisingly, she wasn’t bothered by it, Sinb found Yerin’s happiness contagious and before she knew it, she was grinning along with her.

 

Though the moment was cut short when Yerin seemed to have realized what she was doing and pulled away, chuckling nervously. Sinb almost whined at the loss of contact. She won’t settle for that. They’ve been apart for a long time.

 

“Unnie.” Sinb approached closer, “C-Can I hug you?”

 

Yerin chuckled lightly, opening her arms wide for the woman, “You don’t need to ask, silly. Come here.”

 

Sinb didn’t waste time and buried herself within the woman’s arms, her own wrapping around the woman’s petite frame tightly. No words could explain how happy she felt in that moment, how much she’s always dreamed of this, and how she was finally living that dream.

 

“How about walking home together?” Sinb suggested, still in the woman’s embrace.

 

Yerin pulled away slightly to look at the woman properly, “You know where I live?”

 

“You’re not the only one watching from a distance.” Sinb grinned, earning a small slap on the arm from the older woman.

 

---

 

“What? No gifts this time?” Eunha and Yewon asked as they took the seats adjacent to Sinb’s that following morning.

 

Sinb smiled at them, “I already got them.”

 

Her cheeks burned as she remembered the gifts that she received that morning.

 

Yerin’s hugs and kisses were better than the material things anyway.

 

---

 

and i am back from my grave XD

this fic isn't much tho but i just saw something on my tl and i won't settle for that ><

i gotchu bud, cheer up! ^^