0700

 

Hankyung woke up with the piercing sound of his alarm clock situated on the nightstand beside his bed. The male groaned at the loud noise as he flailed his arm around until it landed on the annoying piece of metal. Yawning, he pushed himself up and ruffled his own hair, his eyes roamed all over his dimly lit bedroom.

 

He sighed.

 

It’s a lonely morning like always.

 

He knew form the day he took the decision leaving his friends – family – behind, he had to face the loneliness, sadness and heartbrokenness, but he still missed Donghae hugging him to wake him up, Heechul ordering him to make him breakfast, Sungmin and Ryeowook would help him in the kitchen, Leeteuk, Kangin and Shindong would be the first to arrive on the table waiting for their breakfast (Beijing Fried Rice, as always), Siwon, (sometimes with Zhoumi and Henry) would follow suit and whined when the three members poked their tongue out, “We’re here first, so we get the big plate!”, Eunhyuk and Kibum jumping into the kitchen with a loud, cheerful-in-English ‘Good morning everyone’, Yesung stumbling into the kitchen, telling the members the weird dream he dreamt last night (of course, Donghae would be the most excited one when the older male mentioned ‘aliens’) and lastly, the maknae, Kyuhyun would come in, with a soft smile on his face as he sat down, “Good morning, hyungs.”

 

He knew it from the day he took the decision leaving his friends – family (lover) – behind, he would have to face with the broken state of his lover, the one who he had promised to love (and marry one day) and be together forever. He would have to break the younger’s heart and make his lover cry (when he had vowed to himself that he wouldn’t make the younger one cry, ever).

 

He knew all the consequences, but he still took the decision.

 

He still left.

 

“I hate you. I hate you so much… You liar….”

 

Hankyung closed his eyes as his lover’s words rang in his head, making him felt dizzy and nauseous because the image of his lover (crying, sobbing, begging) is vivid, real and it’s playing in his head over and over again like a broken record.

 

“I’m sorry…” Hankyung’s voice cracked, eyes filled with tears he tried so hard to hold. To prevent them from falling because if he cry, it’ll make it harder for him to turn around and leave.

 

Hankyung stirred the black coffee in slow movement. His eyes darted to the black liquid as he counted the stir, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty.

 

And he stopped before sipping the bitter coffee.

 

“No, don’t talk to me!! It’s bull!! BULL!! You promised me, dammit!!!” his lover screamed, Hankyung never heard his love scream before. The younger one voice’s is smooth, velvetyand Hankyung loves it very much, that’s why he had told his lover to never scream and to take care of the voice well (even during the time they were making love). He wanted to remind the younger one to stop screaming and take care of your voice, sweetheart, but that doesn’t seem to be important right now. Because he’s leaving.

 

--

 

1045

 

“Happy birthday, gege.”

 

Hankyung grinned though the caller couldn’t see it, “Thanks Henry, Zhoumi.”

 

Henry hummed in response, “We’re good dongsaengs right?” He grinned wider when he heard Zhoumi laughed on the other line.

 

“Yeah, you guys are very great dongsaengs.” Always wish me for my birthday even though I act like a jerk and left, Hankyung added in his mind.

 

“Of course we are,” Henry answered smugly, he must’ve been hanging out with Heechul a lot, Hankyung thought. “Because we have great hyung.”

 

Hankyung stayed silent for a moment with a pained smile on his lips and he’s glad the other couldn’t see it, “Thanks.” Am I? I’m not even sure if I’m good enough to be your hyung anymore.

 

“I’m sure he felt the same way too, gege,” Zhoumi added after a brief silence between them and Hankyung laughed bitterly.

 

No, I’m sure he didn’t.

 

--

 

“Why do you like me?” his lover asked one day. They were having a secret picnic (a secret because it would be a scandal if fans found out about it and the members would whine and cling on them all day if they found out the two went to a picnic without them. “You guys broke my motherly heart~!”Leeteuk would add melodramatically) and Hankyung was resting on his lover’s lap, relaxing under the younger one’s feathery touch on his hair.

 

“Correction,” Hankyung said seriously and the younger male frowned a bit. “Why I love you,” the Chinese male added with a grin.

 

The younger male rolled his eyes and smacked his head lightly, “Cheesy hyung. Very cheesy.”

 

Hankyung laughed loudly and took the younger one’s right hand, playing with the couple ring he had bought for him last month while the younger male’s left hand continued playing with his hair. “So, why?” his lover asked softly.

 

Hankyung looked up from the ring to his lover’s face and he smiled softly at the younger one as he caressed his cheek, “No reason. I love you because I just love you. We don’t need a reason to fall in love, right?”

 

His heart skipped a beat when his young lover blushed slightly, “Very cheesy, hyung.”

 

Hankyung grinned, “I’m just telling the truth.” He continued playing with his lover’s fingers, admiring the silver ring, I chose the perfect ring.“What about you?” he asked suddenly, locking gaze with his lover.

 

His lover’s eyes widen slightly before blushing furiously and averted his gaze somewhere else. He smiled and turned his lover’s chin so that he could see the younger male’s face clearly, “Hmm?”

 

His lover stuttered, “Uh… I-I….”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I….” Hankyung cuts him off by kissing him fully on the lips. The younger male froze for a second before he relaxed and returned the kiss and Hankyung gets up from his position and he pushed the younger male lightly so that he’s the one on top of the younger one. He gently nipped the younger male’s bottom lip, asking for entrance which was granted immediately. The kiss was deep and passionate, but still gentle, sweet and loving.

 

They pulled away from lack of oxygen and Hankyung rested his forehead on top of his blushing lover’s as the two of them trying to catch their breath.

 

“…..I…” his lover started, looking at him with his soft eyes. “I love you because I just do.”

 

Hankyung grinned and he felt butterflies in his tummy, felt like he’s falling in love for the first time again, and he pressed his lips against the younger male’s lips for a chaste kiss.

 

“I love you, Kyuhyun-ah.”

 

--

 

1405

 

Heechul sent him a video message with Kangin.

 

“Yah, happy birthday. Aish… This is so annoying, you’re not 5-years-old anymore why should I give you a birthday gift anyway? Jeez….”

 

Hankyung grinned because he knew deep down Heechul do care about him and the other members. He just knew.

 

“Hyung, happy birthday! I’m sorry we can’t celebrate with you,”Kangin smiled.

 

Why should you be sorry? I’m the one who left, not you.

 

“We hope you’ll be healthy and happy forever.”

 

“Also, if anyone bully you in China, call me and I’ll make sure Kangin kick their asses,”Heechul added with a smirk and Kangin laughed and nodded in agreement. Hankyung smiled softly, Heechul told him the same thing every time he calls him.

 

“Oh, and hyung,”Kangin smiled and surprisingly, Heechul too. “I’m sure this year would be different.”

 

Hankyung stared as the video message ended.

 

No, it won’t.

 

--

 

“Hyung, what’s this?” Kyuhyun asked, rising his brows.

 

Hankyung smiled as he spread his arms, “Happy 3 month anniversary, Kyu.”

 

Kyuhyun looked around the dorm that was now filled with lighted candles and roses petals scattered all over the floor. The dorm was dimly lit by the candles, making everything looked more romantic.

 

“So… Thisis the reason I got the call from Leeteuk hyung, crying and flailing, telling me to watch out for some at the dormand always keep my ity until I get married,” Kyuhyun quirked an eyebrow, crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorframe.

 

Hankyung laughed and nodded, “Well pretty much.”

 

Kyuhyun’s eyes soften and he pushed himself from the doorframe and went towards Hankyung and wrapped his hands around the older male’s neck, “Thanks hyung. I love it.”

 

Hankyung smiled, feeling his heart flutter at Kyuhyun’s compliment and his head dizzy smelling Kyuhyun’s cologne.

 

“Although… I think this is a bit too cheesy…” Kyuhyun muttered and Hankyung could feel his lover scowling at the red rose’s petals he had arranged into a word.

 

사랑해.

 

Hankyung laughed against Kyuhyun’s soft hair.

 

--

 

2200

 

“Hyung, hyung!! Happy birthdaaaaaayyyy~!!!!”

 

“Yah, Lee Donghae! Don’t scream like that! It’s not like he couldn’t hear it!”

 

“But he’s in China and we’re in Korea, Leeteuk hyung.”

 

“Yah, Lee Hyukjae! Stop defending him!”

 

“Yeah, and beside, we’re video chatting, pabo.”

 

“Sungmin, don’t call me pabo!”

 

“Yah!!! I want to wish Hankyung hyung too!”

 

“Just say it, Wookie.”

 

“Uh, happy birthday Hankyung hyuuuuuungg!!!”

 

“Yah, stop waving like that!!!”

 

“I wanted to wave too!!”

 

“Let’s wave together, Shindong hyung!”

 

“Aish!! Stop it you two!! You guys are blocking the view!”

 

“Calm down guys….”

 

“Yeah, Siwon’s right. Calm down!”

 

“You’re the one who started it first, pabo.”

 

“Happy birthday, Hankyung.”

 

“Look, Yesung can say it normally, why couldn’t you!?”

 

“You’re too noisy, Leeteuk hyung.”

 

“Yah, Kim Kibum!!”

 

“Kibummie is right, Leeteuk hyung sounded like my umma because she always call me by my full name when she’s angry.”

 

“Lee Donghae--”

 

“See?”

 

“Uh… Guys?” Hankyung interrupted the brawl between the Super Junior members, and all eyes darted to him. Donghae clapped his hands to gain the members intention and he counted to three.

 

“Happy birthday Hankyung~!!”

 

Hankyung grinned, “Thanks guys. It meant so much to me.”

 

“So, did you get any gift today?”

 

Hankyung shrugged, “Well… I get some from the fans and my friends here.”

 

“Oooh! Can we see it!?” Eunhyuk clapped and Donghae nodded in agreement. Hankyung laughed at the two cute actions and he lifted his laptop and brings it to the pile of gifts he gets for his birthday. He chuckled as the members ‘wow’-ed at the amount of gifts he gets.

 

“You seemed to be having a great birthday this year too,” Leeteuk muses and Hankyung smiled bitterly. No, not really. Something is still missing…

 

Something like Kyuhyun.

 

Ever since his departure from the group, Kyuhyun had turned cold towards him. The younger male had cut all ties with him and he had never wished him during his birthdays. The members were still wishing him during his birthdays, but Hankyung noticed that the members were talking loud and doing big gestures so that Hankyung won’t notice Kyuhyun was missing.

 

But Hankyung did notice, because Kyuhyun was the first person he searched for.

 

Hankyung still wished for Kyuhyun’s birthday, but it was always ignored by his lover – or ex-lover, Hankyung didn’t know. Their relationship was unlabeled. The day he left, Kyuhyun had cried and begged and screamed and cursed at him for being such a selfish, liar bastard, but he still left.

 

--

 

Books scattered, clothes all over the floor, glasses breaking,Kyuhyun crying, Hankyung standing.

 

“Kyu…”

 

“You’re leaving…. Why do you have to leave!!?? WHY!!????”

 

Hankyung’s heart ached, “I have to. You said you understand!”

 

“I do understand, dammit!!! What I don’t understand is why you’re leaving me!!??” Kyuhyun screamed, throwing another of his thing nearest but his missed his target who’s standing motionless, because of the tears had blurred his vision.

 

“I’m not leaving you, Kyu--”

 

“You’re leaving to China, dammit!! You broke your promises, I hate you!! I HATE YOU, LIAR!!” Kyuhyun screamed and threw his pillow towards Hankyung, white feathers flew all over the room and Hankyung could only stare desperately.

 

“Kyu… I’m sorry….”

 

“No, shut up!! I don’t want to hear it!! It’s all bull!! Everything you said is bull!! BULL!!” the maknae screamed on top of his lungs before lunged towards the Chinese male and started hitting his chest repeatedly, making Hankyung stumbled backward.

 

“I hate you so much!! I hate you!!! Don’t you ever show your face in front of me again!!!”

 

--

 

2354

 

Hankyung stared at his phone, waiting for a certain someone to call him.

 

Like ha had always done every night.

 

Except for this night, he’s going to make it right.

 

“Hello?” Kyuhyun’s hoarse voice answered and Hankyung knew instantly that the younger one had been crying. So, it’s true… Hankyung thought silently. You’ve been crying every night on my birthday…

 

“….Hankyung hyung?” Hankyung lets out a shuddering breathe when he heard Kyuhyun called him. Oh, how he had missed the younger one’s voice calling him.

 

“…..You called….”

 

Yes, I did…. Hankyung stared at the silver ring on his finger.

 

“Why won’t you say anything…?”

 

Hankyung stayed silent for a moment before he sighed, “I missed you.”

 

It’s Kyuhyun who went silent this time and Hankyung nervously counted the seconds in his head, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen—

 

“Did you?”

 

“Yes….”

 

Kyuhyun lets out a bitter laugh and it cuts Hankyung’s heart, deep, “You missed me after two years disappearing?”

 

Hankyung frowned, “Hey, I called on your birthdays. You’re the one who’s ignoring me.”

 

“Yeah, whose fault is that?”

 

Hankyung’s heart stopped.

 

“You’re the one who left me, you’re the one who turned your back and stepped out of the door and you expect me to be fine with it?”

 

Sometimes, Hankyung wondered how Kyuhyun could sound so calm and compose when he could feel anger in the younger’s voice. Kyuhyun snapped, yelled and cursed at him on that time and Hankyung was scared at how compose the younger one was now. It could be that Kyuhyun didn’t care anymore.

 

“I’m sorry, Kyu…. But… I really, really missed you. My life was empty without you….” Hankyung choked out, tears suddenly poured out of his eyes as he clutched the phone tighter.

 

“I-I love you…. I still do… So much…”

 

“You left, hyung. If you were me, what would you do?” Kyuhyun said, his voice slightly cracked.

 

“I love you hyung, but would this work out? This long-distance relationship? I’m afraid hyung, I need assurance, I need something that is solid and real.”

 

There was silence between them and Hankyung finally stopped fiddling with the silver ring on his finger as he averted his gaze towards the picture of him and Kyuhyun, set as the desktop background of his laptop.

 

“Marry me, Kyu.”

 

He could hear it, Kyuhyun’s gasp in surprise and the younger one’s fast-beating heart.

 

“Wh—Hyung--”

 

“You want something solid and real, right? So, marry me. Be with me, be mine and you won’t have to be afraid anymore.”

 

“Hyung… I--”

 

“I don’t care anymore, Kyu. You know it’s ing hurt to stay away from you like this? I don’t even know what we are right now,” Hankyung said, his voice wavered as he clenched his fist.

 

“Hyung…”

 

“Answer me, Kyu… Will you marry me?”

 

.

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 2400

 

“You’re such a jerk. Asking me on Siwon hyung’s birthday…. Yes, I do, you idiot, selfish bastard.”

 

 

 

 

A/N: I SWEAR!! This is supposed to be a drabble…. A fluffy, happy one. But I got carried away and end up making it a bit angsty… aigoo…. I was kinda sleepy when I was writing the ending, so it’s a bit crappy… (sorry hannie oppa! I promise I’ll make a better birthday fic for you!!)

 

It’s too late isn’t it? *sigh* I need to learn how to post a birthday fic on time….

 

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