who said i no longer need you?

who said i’m alright after what had happened to us?

did you know how bad my heart hurts?

did you know how much i miss you?

did you know how much i want us to try everything again?

..............

Jaehyun was looking at you. You was his 4 years girlfriend.

 was,

Now you're just his ex, even Jaehyun doesn’t know why.

Jaehyun was speechlesss when you returned your promise ring back and asked for break up.

With an emotionless face, and keep asking for a break up

Jaehyun can’t even form any coherent word as he was shocked since the break up was unexpected.

You put the ring on his palm. A unique design of flower and leaf silver ring. The ring opened at the bottom and has space on top with flower and leaf embedded with diamonds. Jaehyun got it for you last year. When he was sure that both of you were meant to be together. At that time you agreed with that. But not now. Not anymore. 

You smiled just like you always did, and you walked away.

Jaehyun just thought that you no longer need him. He slumped back on his seat. Memories came flashing through his mind. Thinking what had he done wrong to you that had lead to this break up. 

Yesterday everything were just fine. Nothing was wrong with their relationship.

They were still cuddling and watching their favourites movie yesterday.

But why

“Why..”

Jaehyun asked, you stopped walking. 

Without turning to look at him. You said

“There’s too many things if you wanted to know” your voice were monotonous. Jaehyun can't even detect your feeling or emotion at that time.

But he doesn't want to lose you. 

“If it’s about me.. can we.. can i fix it?”he gathered his strength to said that after a while. Afraid of your response. Afraid what are you going to say about him. 

“that's gonna take a whole day for me to explain everything to you. So I have nothing to say. " you continue walking. Leaving him. 

The autumn breeze blows moving your hair, tousling it into buoyant curls. It carries with it the fragrance of earth, soft after the washing of the rain. And as it dances with the canopies of flame, it alights both eyes and soul, yet more as the feeling of a mother's lullaby, a comforting delight.

But nothing could comfort your heart at that moment

All you could feel is cold breeze continously hitting you. As if punishing you of what you did to Jaehyun. 

The man that had devoted to love you with his whole heart. 

Your hands get cold easily and didn't wear your glove today. You never wear it actually. Because jaehyun always keep your hands warm by holding your hands and keep it in his pocket. 

Now you just let your hands freezing. You don't make any effort to make it warm. At this point you don't even know which one is colder. Your heart or yiur hands. 

There’s nothing wrong with Jaehyun.

There’s nothing wrong with your relationship.

It’s you. 

When you're sure you're far from Jaehyun. 

You stopped walking. Your legs started to woblle

Suddenly they became weak. 

You slowly sat on the ground and letting down your guard. The tears you have been holding flows freely. 

It stings your face to cry in the cold weather. But you don't have any intention to stop crying. You just want it out. 

“I can't give you the future you want. I’m sorry”

.................

You went to class as usual. Rocking resting face look as if nothing happens to you. 

Sometimes you bumped into jaehyun at the hallway but you never spare a glance at him although you miss him so much. 

Jaehyun thought you had move on. That you doesn't need him in your life anymore. So he tried to move on as well. Though it hurts him to see you smile with other guys. To see you're happy without him. 

Until one day Jaehyun decided to skip class. For one day he don't want to see you. It's AP Calculus and both of you usually sit together in class. 

It stings him to see you sit alone without him. He knows you doesn't want anything to do with him anymore. 

Jaehyun went to the rooftop. He still has an hour before his next class. 

Little did he know you were there too. Sobbing softly on the bench. 

Jaehyun was confused. He doesn't know what's the reason you're crying. 

He approached you slowly. Calling out your name. 

You turned to look at him startled at the fact he had saw you're crying. 

You hate yourself for crying. You had promised not to cry anymore after that day. 

You promised to yourself that what happened back then won't affect you in future. But you're wrong. It affected your life badly. 

And that bastard Lee Taeyong still live happily. 

"what's wrong? I know we're over but you still can tell me anything that's bothering you. I'm still your friend right." 

You grimace at the word friend. You still love him more than a friend. So to be friend is something you hate. 

You wiped your tears harshly. Putting up with your emotionless face back again. 

" nothing."

Jaehyun knew better than to trust your lies. He knows you're not the type of a person who cries easily unless there's something that makes you really upset.

"i know something is wrong. Tell me!" jaehyun hold you and force you to look at him. This is the first time he raised his voice at you. He never snapped at you before this. He's always calm. But not now. Not now when he knows something is bothering you. 

"I'm broken! Long ago before you even met me. I have been a broken person. You don't deserve me" you trembled trying to suppress your emotions. 

Jaehyun loosen his grip on you. 

"what do you mean?" he's confused.

He thought he knows everything about you. Yes you tell him everything. But not every little thing that happened during your teenage life. 

So you told him everything. Your darkest moments in life. Your family and how you have to pick yourself up just to move on with life and forget everything. 

Jaehyun listened to everything you says and said nothing in response. He left right after you finished telling him everything. 

You had expected his reaction to be this way. 

But you felt relieved. At least he nows knows that it's not his fault that this relationship doesn't work

......

You never expected this. 

Jaehyun appears at your front door the next day. 

With a ring in his hands.

"I love you no matter what. No matter how many time you pushed me away. The past doesn't define you. You define yourself. And I love you unconditionally. Marry me" 

You opens and closed your mouth a few times to say something but you can't form any words to response to his proposal. 

" if you feel the same about me just say yes. If it's going to be a no then just remember that I will lose a girl who never loved me, but you will lose a guy who loved you with all his heart

You were touched by his words. Tears started to form on your eyes. It's been days and you re emotional these past few days 

Jaehyun reached for you and pulled you to a hug.. 

You cried in his embrace. 

"yes.. I do"