I woke up one day he’s gone and I’m alone. I hoped that I can turn back the time and go back when we were still happy and together.

I checked the clock beside my bed, it is just 1:05 am. I decided to plug in my earphones and listen to some music so that I can sleep easier. I clicked shuffle on my music player, and it played Comfort. The moment the song started, all the memories came back and I found myself crying.

I woke because of my alarm, I got up and checked my self in the mirror. My eyes are so puffy, probably because I cried going back to sleep. I went down to prepare myself a cup of coffee, but to my surprise somebody already prepared a breakfast for me. I thought maybe mom went here early and prepared the food. “Maybe she went to the grocery to buy some stuff”, I said to myself.

I grabbed the coffee and went to the living room to open the television and watch the news. Suddenly somebody hugged from behind. I turned around and saw him, my boyfriend, Yang Yoseob. I was startled because of it. “Why are you here?”, I asked in confusion. “Why wouldn’t I?, he answered smiling. “I wanted to surprise you”, he added. Before I was able to ask another question, he grabbed me and lead me to the table, “Eat.”, he said. I sat down but still confused with what is happening. “I have to go somewhere, I have a meeting.” I said, “What do you mean? Did you forget that we are going to the beach today? You said you needed to recharge because you are too stressed from work” he answered. I became more confused because of his answer. Then I remembered something, I hurriedly went to the living room and checked the calendar, it was June 23, 2018. I cannot believe this, it was a month before the accident happened, that took away Yoseob from me. I ran fast, going back to the dining area, and hugged him really tight. “I don’t know how this happened, but I won’t lose you again” I whispered.

We went to the beach and did stargazing. It was the best moment in myself. He caught me staring at him, “I know, I know, I’m too handsome”, he said. I laughed hard and held his face staring a little more, I was caught off-guard and he leaned in for a kiss. We spent a few more days in the beach, longer than what we originally planned.

The days passed by so quickly. He always fetched me from work, we would then have dinner at home, watch soccer games or even Marvel movies. Then the day finally came, July 23, 2018, it was encircled in my calendar with a red marker. He asked why is it seems like that it is a very important date, I gave a laugh for an answer.

We slept a little later than our usual routine. We talked about our future plans, while we are talking, I wasn’t able to help myself and I cried. He hugged me tight, “Don’t worry, I would never leave you. I love you.”, he said. I looked at him, “You’re the most important person in my life, I don’t want to lose you.”, I said. “That would never happen, I promise,”, he said. We slept soundly that night.

I woke up and started preparing for work. He was in the shower, I can hear him singing. I decided to prepare our breakfast. While we were eating breakfast, “Are you free later? Let’s watch Ant-man 2. We haven’t watched that yet”, he asked. I clearly remember him saying the exact same thing before. “Of course, it’s Marvel, we should definitely see it.”

The day passed by so quickly. I was bothered throughout the day. I kept on thinking if the accident will happen again. I asked my boss if I can leave early at work because of personal reasons. Fortunately, he said yes. I went to his office and waited for him there. “You’re here”, he said, “I wanted to surprise you”, I answered.

I told him I wanted to drive for tonight, he said no. After minutes of trying to convince him, he finally said yes, “But just for today”, he added. I said yes and we went on our way. I decided to pass through a different route, hoping that I can also change the ending of this day. But seems like fate doesn’t want to cooperate.

We were on a stoplight, we were waiting for the signal to be green when I heard a very loud thud. A car lost control and bumped to us, our car was pushed forward and was hit by bus coming through. I lost consciousness, I don’t know how long, but when I woke up, I looked at him. He was there by my side, he was holding may hand really tight. I tried waking him up, “Yoseob! Yang Yoseob!”, I heard him groan because of the pain but I was also relieved that he is still alive. I remember hearing some people’s voices, I think they were the rescuers. I prayed to God to save us this time. The both of us. I don’t want to leave alone anymore. I lost consciousness after uttering a prayer.

I woke up and felt like I was in the hospital. I wanted to get up but I can’t, my body felt really sore. I have bandages over my arms. Fortunately, a nurse went inside, she shouted and called the doctor after seeing me. “Thank goodness you’re awake now. You’ve been in a coma for a week already”, the nurse said. “Where is Yoseob? The guy I was with when the accident happened?”, I asked. The nurse wasn’t able to answer me quickly. I felt helpless and hopeless. I started crying and regretting everything. Suddenly I felt somebody hugged me, “Ya! You just woke up and you’re already crying?” somebody said. I looked and saw him, I cried more when I saw him. “You’re alive!”, I exclaimed. “I am, thanks to you. Because you insisted on driving on the night, I didn’t get any major injuries. But it was you who was in great danger. I was worried that you won’t never wake up. I thought you would leave me”, he answered. He started crying, I looked at him, tried to wipe his tears, “I would never leave you, I promise”.