ughhMM this was a fic i really wanted to write to cope with my own depression but i think- i just didn't bother finishing it because it made me feel like knowing they'd be back together at the end LMAO

 

made: apr 1, 2018 9:56:57

mainship: seulrene

 

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DESCRIPTION

 

 

"I want to live forever with you."

 

 

FOREWORD

 

 

so here's this

 

 

CHAPTER 1 -- Final.

 

 

I'd give up the universe if it meant I could be with you again.

----

----

 

Hours, days, weeks, months, and years have gone by.

The same lackluster and dull pattern.

The same bitter taste of coffee.

The same colors of clothes.

The same.

 

Honestly, she doesn't know when it all crumbled to this.

 

This repetitive schedule she had framed herself to be in.

 

It .

 

It really did .

 

"But am I going to do anything to change it..?" Lips perked upwards as she let out a scoff, lifting the mug off of the table to drink the lukewarm contents of what was once scalding the buds of her tongue due to her own stupidity. "No, definitely not."

 

She's not lazy; she just had no incentive to improve her lifestyle to what she wanted it to be. If there was no reason to actively change the now, why should she try when there's nothing wrong with it?

 

Sure, it --but that wasn't enough to change what she had been doing for the last few years. 

 

"Well, it is unhealthy..." 

 

She speaks to herself as she inhales and exasperately sighs, placing the mug back down as she slowly ridded her features from glasses. "Maybe, next time...then." 

 

She always tells herself this and it perks a familiar smile along her lips. 

 

Her fingers picked up the pen beside her journal and scribbled back into it as she comes to a path of remembrance.

 

And just like yesterday, she remembers everything.

--

She had stepped out from the bus with her umbrella open to avoid the late night's summer rain, walking a few paces south towards her residency before realizing the rain had ceased to nothing more than a few sprits of mist.

Slowly, she outstretched her hand to see if the rainfall was any more than what her vision sees and immediately does she let her umbrella down to collapse the canopy and (violently) shake off the rain from her umbrella.

However, in doing so, she hears a squeak and as she turned her head into the direction of the noise, her arm stings with a pain and her brows furrow together in confusion. What could have possibly hit her in the middle of the sidewalk like this? "Jerk! Are you listening to me!?" 

Then it occurs to her that this smaller human being had punched her. "...D....Did you just punch me?"

"Yeah! What are you gonna do about it? Put all your water on me again? Aish..." She was baffled by the outragous approach of this girl-- this ridiculously gorgeous girl. 

"..Ughm... ask for an apology..." Her meek voice rings out and the girl immediately shoots her a look that speaks for itself. Completely and utterly intimadating.

"An apology? From me? After you completely just--" A finger points to her umbrella, wagging it to exaggerate the shakings that lead to the droplets that landed on her attire. "Completely insensible."

Seulgi continued standing here, gazing at her in disbelief as she speaks slowly due to her unsureness and puzzlement. "..S..o.....what do you suppose I should do...."

"You're still talking to me? Wooooow." After flicking the last droplets off of her sleeves, her hands were placed onto her hips as her brows furrowed slightly together to effectively establish her seniority. "Give me your number. You're most definitely paying for my dry cleanings."

"I-" Her lips parted to speak again but there were growing flames in the other's eyes, to which she had immediately reached for her mobile and offering it with both hands. "Here."

The phone is swiped from her palms and her fingers were tapping in a number to ring her own cell. "See, there. I have your number, and you have mine."

"...Don't...you need my name?"

"No."

With a single word, the shorter girl proceeded to show what the contact name was.

"'Bastard Girl-'" It takes Seulgi a minute to realize such a vulgar name to what was her apparent soft nature. "Don't you think that's a little harsh?"

"It's only fitting for a bastard who decides to rid of water about on a stranger."

"But it...wasn't intentional... you are short and you hadn't appeared in my field of vision-"

"Are you really bringing physicality into this? You really are a bastard."

"But-"

"Don't."

--

"She was real cute..." Remembering the exact dominant position the older had placed herself, it was a trip.

 

It was upfront.

 

"I suppose that was just very admirable of her."

 

Seulgi was speaking to no one in particular, and if a person were to see this, they'd think she was quite odd.

 

No person would be sitting alone and talking to themselves with the biggest smile on their lips.

 

"I think after that... I had paid for her dry cleanings but still kept in contact."

 

That she did. 

 

Even though the older girl was extremely reluctant on speaking with her more again, and even dropping her own name, it was ridiculous and so she resorted to calling her 'Rude Girl.'

 

"Ahh, she was a hassle..." Her fingers carefully turns over a page, delicately pressing down as near toward the spine she could and flattens the paper. 

 

A hand outstretches to grasp onto a worn sharpener, twisting the utensil in to renew the point as it was getting duller. 

 

And so she resumes, scribbling back away into her journal.

--

"Yah, Rude Girl."

They were six months into a 'friendship' that still had names undisclosed and it was practically ridiculous that they had to continue calling each other by these names.

"Can't you call me something else?" To which Seulgi replies with a wave of a dismissive hand and motions her over.

Despite being on a undisclosed name basis, the two definitely know a lot more about each other. For instance, they've already established who was younger and who was older. It was a clear feat since the smaller girl already established her age the first time they met. But more over that, they know how to prod each other's buttons, they know what they like, and they most definitely know how to get on the other's nerves.

"Here." Seulgi pushes a bag forward, one striped with three lines of lilac purple and the base color white.

"What's this for?" A pair of smaller hands grasps onto the bag, receiving it and taking it cautiously as her eyes suscpiciously shifted around, narrowing as she continued to look at the taller. 

"You said your birthday was in March, so I decided to get you a gift. Like a nice friend would do." Her lips perked up cat-like as she nods to herself, praising herself silently at the good deed she did.

"Don't give yourself too much credit just yet, Bastard Girl." Seulgi rolled her eyes at the nickname, though intriguely anticipating the reaction of the older girl. 

And so, her hands had pulled apart the lengths of the gift bag, revealing two stuffed animals. A bear and a bunny. "Stuffed animals, really?" Seulgi nodded firmly and urged the other to check the stuffed animals further. 

With further inspection, the animals were wearing a tag. A name tag. "As you can see, since it's pretty obvious that we are similar to animals. I'm the bear and you're the bunny." The older girl flicks her vision back and forth between the tags and the taller before asking simply.

"And why's that?"

"Because! It's pretty obvious. I mean, for me-- I'm soft, intimidating in appearance apparently, curious about a lot of things, and whatever you try to insult me with but you're hyperactive and won't settle down, you're constantly hitting me, insanely easy to scare--" 

"Okay! I get it, I get it."

The girl's lips just brim with a genuine grin, watching the older continue to inspect the gift. "Seulgi-ah?"

For some reason, she feels a flutter happen in her chest. Her soft call out sends a mere blush on her cheeks as she nods, trying to direct the attention to her fervent nod instead of the growing redness. "Yeah! That's me!"

"And the bunny has a question mark on its tag? Why is that?"

"What are you, dumb now?" Seulgi receives a look in retort, followed by a smack on the arm. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I take it back, but yes. There is a question mark because I don't know your name."

"Do you think you're going to get my name today then, Seulgi-ah?" The same flutter happens in her chest and she immediately reacts with another dismissive hand.

"N-No. Like I said, I'm a nice friend, I might as well give you my name if we're going to continue talking and seeing each other." She sees the cheeky smile forming on the older's lips and she immediately reaches over to pinch onto her cheek. "Don't grin like that!"

"Psht! Whatever! Thanks for the gift, dweeb." An index finger comes to her lips to insinuate her continuation of keeping her name private, and thus Seulgi feels disappointed. 

It wasn't until then did the two have to part, waving their goodbyes and walking on back home. 

She catches herself thinking about if the older had made it home or if her lips were soft, or perhaps if her hands would fit perfectly in hers. "Ah, what..."

Seulgi whines out simply and knocks her head against the window of the train, nuzzling her head against the coldness to regain her footing on the ground she's on. 

"Aaaah, Seulgi. Remember, this whole time she's been completely mean to you. There's no reason to think she's cute at all or even the slightest bit of attractive. She's rude. And mean. And just a friend." 

She gives herself this mini-talk to her reflection that she can see on the glass. Her brows furrowing with determination to remind herself that she shouldn't be feeling this way; what kind of fool would that make her? 

Amidst her pep talk, her cell buzzes and her attention is brought to it.

[SMS: Rude Girl(?)]
 29/03/15 -- 20:45
-Bae Joohyun.
-That's my name.
-...Thank you for the gift and the birthday wish.
-They're cute.

[IMG ATTACHED]

Seulgi raises a brow at seeing an attachment, as this was a first they'd be sending a picture to each other. And once again, her curiosity gets the best of her.

Her thumb simply taps on the grayed and blurred image, proceeding to tap "OK" on the warning and is met with a picture of the two stuffed animals perched up on what seems to be the headboard of the older's.

And only then does she not tell herself to stop smiling upon seeing the name changed on the Bunny's tag.

"She's cute."

--

She finishes a line and places her pencil down, continuing the same pattern of flipping the page over and creasing as close as she could to the spine of the journal. Seulgi follows this with a slow exhale and plants her chin into her palm as her elbow is propped up onto the table, wondering what next to place into this journal of hers.

 

Her eyes drift toward the pane of the living space, staring at the colors adrift in the sky. Shades of blues and whites, to grey, and the streaks of airplain trails, it all complimented each other. With the calmness of the sky and the bustling of the city, no matter how contradictory everything was: it all felt like wamrth to her. Everything enveloping her and accepting her for how she is. 

 

"I suppose that's one way to put it."

 

Albeit all these feelings of feeling welcomed and loved, it just doesn't feel like home. 

 

Home is meant to be a place of safety.

A place where it holds dear to their heart.

Not just four-walls of captivity that provides her a place to sleep and live.

Home is ultimately where the heart can bloom and be at rest.

 

"But home to me..." She slowly starts, letting her eyes drift among the contemporary, and what seems like empty, house of hers. "Home..to me was a pair of arms.. whose body fit perfect with mine, and eyes as warm as ember." 

 

Her slender fingers picked up the pencil again, letting her free hand rest on the other side of the journal, and she scribbles back into its contents as her mind fades back into it once more.

 

She lets out a little scoff of air at her own words. Not because it was cliche of her to say, but because those words still remain true after all this time.

--

Her lips had trailed along a familar jawline, peppering it softly with kisses and showering her with soft giggles and 'I love yous', keeping herself close as her hand had cradled the aligned jawline carefully. "Keep telling me that and I might get sick of hearing it."

"As if." The older's fingers ghosts along the younger's side, paying attention to all details of her body. Every line, every bump, and every mark.

"Beautiful." Lips press together as soft as she could, mumbling her words against the other's as her hand moves towards her abdomen. "You're just simply beautiful and nothing less..."

"Says the most gorgeous woman in this universe..." Seulgi cheekily smiles against her lips, happy to