Light enters the dark room from the small slit of the curtain making him grunt in his sleep, opening his heavy eye lids. The fatigue that settled on every part of his body made it hard it for him to even move as well as the pain of sore muscle from practicing day and night for his upcoming comeback. He open his eyes wishing it will be a good day even though he's sure that it won't end good.

He pushed himself to sit up on his bed still feeling sleepy and tired. His face showed grimace as his feet touches the cold floor. He always liked the quiet environment but these days the silence is deafening. Sometimes he misses the loud noise of s talking in the morning. He used to get mad at them for disturbing his sleep but now he's longing for them. But this is his choice to move out of the dorm because it is one of his bucket list.

He didn't feel much different at first but these days he just feel lonely. He barely step out of his house except for schedule or practice. Every time one of his friends ask for a outing he always decline saying that he's busy even though he's not.

It is as if he doesn't want to be alone at the same time he's just feeding his emotions. He doesn't have the energy to do his work. He's not enthusiastic as before. Where did it go, his enthusiasm? The youngers always joke about it saying it was because of age but no. It was never because of age. All he could do is laugh and pretend too be mad at them but they don't understand what he's feeling.

All he feel is empty as if he doesn't have a purpose to live anymore. Sometimes he just wants to cry but no tears come. Had he become cold hearted? He could feel himself slowly crumbling.

Sometimes he notices the worried look on his manager and friends but it kept on assuring that he's okay and kept on his mask. Most of the time his smile never reached them but they never bugged him asking what's wrong hoping that he will open up himself.

He practice from morning until night even after all his back up dancers went home. Even when his manager ask him to go home, he still reasons that he wanted to make it perfect for his fans. For him every second counts as he will jokingly say that ' sleep is for the weak'. It was all a lie. He was trying to run away from the reality. He want fill the void in his heart by getting himself busy. He was just lying to himself that he is happy and satisfied with his life.

He can't count how many time he spent his nights wide awake thinking when everything went wrong. To be honest, nothing went wrong but when did he loss his old self. What is left now is just an empty shell trying to live every day with almost no purpose.

He knows that the time is ticking. It won't be too long before he break down completely beyond recovery. Sometimes he just wants to hide. He's scared to show his weak side. All he do is lie and be deceitful when it only affects him. He was supposed to release his solo comeback next week but could he wait until then. He's working hard to at least hold himself until then. He hope the enthusiast the fans showing for the comeback will keep him grounded for the mean time. 

He feels bad for his fans who try to encourage and give all the love he doesn't deserve. He just wants peace but that means a lot of people will be hurt. Is he selfish? Are other people selfish? At the back of his mind something always tell him that it's just a matter of time for them to forget him. Will he leave scar on other people's heart because of his action?

He managed few more days before everything came crumbling down all of sudden. Distraction didn't work like before. He wanted a conclusion to his problem. He can't bare the pain.

He doesn't remember how he reached here. There's still few more days for his song to be released but now he's standing on the roof top of his company. Chilly autumn air hitting him making him shiver from the coldness. He's only wearing his shirt. Why is he even bare foot? Where did his shoes went? Oh! He left it in the practice room. What made him come up here? Here's scared of height but why is he not scared now? Life is scarier that just a mere heights.

His mind isn't working properly as he walked to the edge. Somewhat he felt calm, oddly very calm as he looked down from frightening height. For the first time in a while tears filled his eyes but he's smiling. He feels like a free bird as he opened he arms, closing his eyes. By now the cold didn't bother him. He whispered a quiet sorry before he leaned forward welcoming his fate.

He reminisce his parents, his siblings, s, his friends, his fans, his family. He hoped to feel some sort of impact but it never came as he was engulfed by darkness. He feels nothing but there's something else that he felt. The peace he was longing was there knowing everything's over. He no longer feel sore or tired as he opened his eyes to beautiful scenery. The fresh smell of green leaves just made him want to lie back down. He's happy at last. He got what he wanted and didn't regret even a bit.