I lost the moon while counting the stars [ oneshot ]

Description

She stood there, the breeze blowing her hair slightly... He walked off, feeling that something was wrong. Tears began to adorn her face, the pure feeling of rejection & happiness simultaneously. I finally told him...

Foreword

Um... Hi? I'm new around here, so please take care of me!! I want to start with an oneshot... So hope there are people who actually read my ff... (-'.'-) P.S. PLEASE COMMENT!!!!!! ______________________________________ this ff was reviewed by sususco123 from ☺♫ Saranghae Review Shop ♫☺ [OPEN]. Thank you! I added it as chapters
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Comments

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btalentless_J #1
Woah, that just ended like a bomb blasting!
NomightyCopYCaT #2
btw, cool pic of jUNSU-OPPA. is he your bias by any chance?
Ate_Fatality #3
Cool! You thought the concept was good? THANK YOU!!!
Well, i am starting my second ff, but need votes. So please response!!
NomightyCopYCaT #4
It's a short and tragic story, great job because the oneshot STAYED a oneshot... well kind of. I tried writing a oneshot too, but now I think that there is NO way i can finish it in less than at least 7 or 8 chapters. Anyways, it's nice but sad too, too bad Junsu-oppa loses his moon. Interesting name and interesting concept. GREAT JOB, write some more fics. Wanna read you ^-^ FIGHTING!
Ate_Fatality #5
Ummm, counting all the stars as in, being with minyoung XD
Its weird, i know.

Sorry! I didnt know oneshots shouldnt have so much twist! >__<

and kamsahamnida for commenting! Jeongmal kamsahamnida!! :)
Triple-Key #6
oh and also, is Junsu counting all the stars--a substitute for picking up all these little things that had went wrong with their relationship? :D i like analysing.
Triple-Key #7
The pace was real quick, but that makes me no expertise since my stories, as my readers would say, are kind of slow xD I think too much happened with this one-shot, and it's hard to absorb everything in. Jebin confesses, Junsu rejects her, he finds that his best friend and girlfriend are kissing, he realises that jebin's the one for her, the latter dies. I know you're trying to evoke great sympathy with Junsu (including the death of jebin) since he has lost two girls he had cared about. I reckon you should have not let Jebin die. You should have, maybe get Junsu to ask if she wanted coffee or something. But whatever floats your boat lols. But do know that not all love stories end in tragedy, it seems so iconic these days. Just wondering, what sort of significance does your title hold? Because I've inferred that the 'stars' are a symbolic representation of Minyoung, his girlfriend, while the 'moon' that he lost and didn't take realise his love for was jebin. Right? XD It's a nice story, though. :)
Ate_Fatality #8
Please comment! I wanna know what ppl think of this! TT~TT
in addition to that, i know my presentation's bad TT^TT
sorry!
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