Haseul has always considered herself a capable woman. Really, there isn’t much that she can’t do if she puts her mind to it. She’s never had too much trouble with school (although her dissertation is starting to challenge that) and she’s good at her job as a librarian, even if she didn’t major in research. She can almost always help when other students come to her with questions, and if she can’t help, she’ll get someone who can. She’s likable, makes friends quick, and adopts any younger friends even quicker. There’s only one thing that she isn’t good at: flirting. 

It isn’t like she’s never had any experience with flirting. She had a boyfriend or two in high school, and a girlfriend during her freshman year of college. But all three of them were people she’d known as friends before they started dating, and it had been a while since she’d been romantic with anyone at all, because going to school and having about ten adopted children tends to prevent that from happening.

“We aren’t kids, Haseul,” Sooyoung says when Haseul confides in her, narrowing her eyes. True, Sooyoung is actually a little bit older than her. But that doesn’t mean that she acts older.

“Just last week, you called me crying because you were drunk and dropped your sandwich while you were trying to get back to your laptop to write your essay. You’re a child, Sooyoung.”

“Whatever, that’s just called being a stressed out college student. Sometimes you just have to get drunk, drop your sandwich, and cry it out.”

“I’ve never done that,” Haseul points out, and the other girl shrugs.

“Maybe that’s just because you’re boring. How long has it been since you’ve been to a party?”

“A… while, but that’s not because I’m lame. I get invited to plenty of them, I just don’t have the time to go. Being a biology major isn’t easy, you know. Especially when you have an English minor and about twenty essays to write.”

Sooyoung at least has the decency to look a bit regretful of her accusation of Haseul’s lameness (although this is Sooyoung, she never feels sorry for long). “Okay, you have a point. But still. You just need to get out there more. Talk to some hot people. Flirt a little. Build your game. It’s not that hard.”

“Says the notorious flirt.”

“Hey! I’m not that bad anymore, I have a girlfriend!”

“Just the other day I saw you flirting with Jinsol.”

“It was a joke, Haseul.”

“If you girls are going to do nothing but talk, you might as well go on your break, Haseul.” Her boss Amber’s voice sounds from behind her, and she turns to give the older girl a sheepish smile, but Amber just waves it off. She never really gets mad (except for that one time a kid named Chan spilled coffee all over the periodicals, but that’s different) so Haseul knows she isn’t in trouble. “Just get me a coffee from the café on your way back, yeah? I’m bar-coding all the new books for the semester and my head hurts.”

“Will do, thanks Amber,” Haseul says, giving her a boss a thumbs-up before she turns back to Sooyoung. “I’ll be right back. Let me clock out.”

It isn’t until she’s back on the floor without her badge that she realizes: she’s going to have to go to the café. The thought makes her freeze a bit, and Sooyoung eyes her suspiciously.

“You good there, dude?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Sorry, just remembered something.”

“Okay cool. Let’s go because I want a coffee too.” She shifts her backpack on her shoulder as she turns away, oblivious to Haseul’s inner struggle. After a moment of psyching herself up, she swallows and catches up to her best friend, shoving her hands into her pockets and hoping that Kahei wasn’t working today.

Unfortunately, pale pink hair can be seen from behind the counter as soon as they walk in, and Haseul feels her stomach flip. She’s here today. Of course she is. Kahei works just as much as Haseul, and they seem to have the same schedule. Haseul has seen her there a hundred times, from passing to get to work, or coming in to grab Amber and herself some coffee. But somehow the butterflies never go away, and she can feel herself getting nervous as Sooyoung leads her up to the counter.

“Hello, what can I get started for you guys?” Kahei’s voice is soft as ever, barely audible over the music playing from behind the counter, and Haseul’s heart jumps.

“I’m going to have a caramel macchiato, please. Put as many shots in as you can, I have to study soon.” Sooyoung gives Kahei one of her playful smiles, and Kahei laughs.

“I get that, good luck with your studies.”

“Thank you! Good luck with yours too.” Sooyoung is smooth, even without realizing it, so it isn’t a surprise that Kahei likes her right away. Haseul still feels a pang of jealousy at how easy the two talk.

“And for you?” That soft voice is directed her way and she feels close up a bit, making her stutter for a moment.

“O-oh, um, just a cold brew, please.”

“Of course. Do you want your usual vanilla sweetener added?” Her eyes widen. Kahei has her order memorized?

“Yes, please.”

“And is Amber getting anything today?” Oh, yeah. Amber is here much more often than Haseul, since she usually does the coffee runs. She’s probably mentioned her a few times in passing.

“I’ll be back to get hers before my shift ends, if that’s okay.” She’s proud that she doesn’t stutter again, even if does feel a little dry.

“That’s okay! I’ll have your drinks ready in a moment.” As Kahei processes the payment and steps away from the counter, Haseul can feel Sooyoung’s eyes drilling holes into the side of her head.

“What was that?” She whispers when the other girl walks over. Haseul tries to act innocent.

“What was what?”

“Jo Haseul? Getting nervous? Stuttering? Who are you? Your face is even pink!”

Groaning, she shoves her friend and rolls her eyes. “Shut up, she might hear you.” That isn’t the right thing for her to say, because Sooyoung’s eyes light up and she looks from Kahei behind the counter to Haseul and then back again, before letting out a low and somehow quiet whistle.

“Wow. So that’s why you were talking about flirting earlier.”

Haseul elbows her as Kahei walks up to the counter, two drinks in hand. “Shut up.”

“Here’s your drinks, girls! I’ll see you again soon!” She gives them a little wave after they take their drinks, and belatedly, Haseul waves back, making Sooyoung snort out a laugh as they walk to a corner table far from the counter.

“I can’t believe what I just saw. This is so good. Wait until the rest of the girls hear about this.”

“I swear to god, Sooyoung, don’t you dare,” Haseul says, but she knows it’s already too late.

“Kahei’s cute. You have good taste. And she was looking at you a lot over her shoulder.”

“You don’t have to pity me,” Haseul mutters, taking a sip of her drink. This is why she never goes on break with her friends. There’s always consequences. “I’m too shy to really talk to her, like, outside of ordering and everything. She’s just too pretty.”

“I have literally never known you to be shy. This is crazy.”

“Surprise? I get shy around people I really like.”

“So you don’t actually like me?” Sooyoung’s voice is playful, but Haseul rolls her eyes again anyway.

“Romantically, dummy.”

“I was trying to make a joke, mom.”

“Whatever. I just. Haven’t had any experience with love or flirting recently and she makes me so nervous I think I’d mess up even if I tried.”

“You should try anyway. She might think it’s cute.”

“I’d rather not embarrass myself like that.” Haseul glances back at the counter, where the girl of her dreams is cleaning the coffee machine. The pink in her hair is fading back to a brown color, but she still looks gorgeous. Especially with her lips pursed in concentration as she scrubs at what must be a stubborn stain. How does she look so good in a polo shirt?

“Staring at her from afar is creepy,” Sooyoung says, kicking Haseul under the table. The younger girl whips her head around to glare at her best friend.

“You know what? I decided not to help you with your essay this weekend after all. Have fun with that.”

“What? No, Haseullie! Please! I can’t do it without you!”

Eventually, her break is almost over, and she steadies herself as she walks back up to the counter, giving Kahei a nervous smile. “I’m back for more.”

“Already?” She lets out a little giggle, and it’s like music to Haseul’s ears. So soft, yet melodic somehow. “Amber’s usual, I assume?” Haseul just nods, suddenly speechless as she watches Kahei key in the drink with those pretty fingers of hers. She’s wearing a new pink ring that Haseul has never seen before, and Haseul has never been the biggest fan of wearing jewelry at work herself (it gets in the way, okay) but it looks cute on her. “Will that be all?”

“Um, yeah, that’s all. Thanks, Kahei.” Maybe it’s just her imagination, but the older girl seems to perk up at the mention of her name.

“You’re welcome, I’ll have that drink up in no time, Haseul!”

Haseul returns to the desk with a slight flush to her cheeks, dropping the coffee off in front of Amber before rushing off to grab her badge, and Sooyoung leans against the counter, watching her go. “She’s so whipped for the girl in the café. It’s funny how red she got when the girl remembered her name.”

“I know, right? I’m trying to set them up right now, but neither of them will make a move,” Amber says, shaking her head with a little laugh. “It’s kind of cute, right?”

Sooyoung grins and holds out her fist to fist-bump the older girl. “I knew I liked you for a reason.”

As Haseul returns to the desk to see her best friend and boss grinning at each other, conspiracy written all over their faces, she sighs and buries her face in her hands, making a mental note to never trust either of them with anything again.

--

“Haseul likes the library café barista,” Sooyoung says as soon as she sits down at their usual study table, and Haseul resists the urge to throw something, because Haseul is a full-grown adult (and she doesn’t want to lose her job for throwing things in the library). At her revelation, the entire table lights up, and Haseul wonders if the kids would respect her if she was actually their mom.

“Wait, which one? The one with the pink hair?” Yeojin asks, leaning forward with wide eyes. “She’s an exchange student from China, right?”

Haseul raises her eyebrows, turning to look at the baby of the group. “She is?” She’s met with a look of disbelief.

“You have a crush on her and you didn’t know that?”

“The poor thing can hardly talk to her guys,” Sooyoung reveals, grinning like she’s just won the lottery. “You should have seen her. She stuttered, like, the whole time, and even blushed when Kahei called her by name. It was great.” Yerim lets out a little squeal, and Haseul immediately shushes her on instinct. They aren’t in the silent area, but still. It’s the library.

“I’m glad you all find my suffering amusing,” she says, shaking her head and going back to her laptop.

“Wait, you really like her?” Jiwoo asks, looking all too excited. “That’s so cute!”

“This is total romcom material,” Jungeun points out, looking up from her laptop and pushing her glasses back. “Mind if I steal your romance and turn it into a story?”

“There isn’t any romance, guys.” Haseul shakes her head. “Seriously, I just have a little crush.”

“It’s more than little,” Sooyoung says, and Jiwoo (bless her) reaches over to place her hand on Haseul’s shoulder.

“If you like her, I think you should do something about it. I’ll even help! We can all help!” Jiwoo’s suggestion makes Hyunjin and Hyejoo groan, and the rest of the group nod.

“Yeah, that would be fun!” Yeojin is bouncing in her seat as she speaks, and Haseul has flashbacks to the last time her friends tried to “help” with her love life.

“No. Absolutely not. I’m happy being a single mom.”

“You aren’t even a mom!”

“Moms deserve to be happy too!”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind that you already have ten kids.”

“We won’t blow anything up this time, because it’s a library, not a biology classroom.” Yerim says it like it’s comforting or something, and Haseul once again has a flashback to poor Saerom blinking at her in confusion, both of their clothes drenched in some unknown pink substance and their hair standing on end from the blast that had sent both of them reeling towards the emergency showers. Thankfully, nothing got in their eyes and Saerom is still her friend despite the most botched confession in history, but the memory still stands stark in her mind.

“Dating isn’t a bad thing.” Sooyoung wraps her arm around Jiwoo’s shoulders and leans into her. “Seriously, I would highly recommend it.” The rest of the girls (other than Yeojin and Yerim) look at each other and nod. With a sigh, Haseul runs her fingers through her hair and closes her eyes. Kahei’s smile dances behind her eyelids, and she knows that the kids are right.

“I’m terrible at flirting, though. What if I make it uncomfortable?”

“I’ll teach you how to flirt,” Sooyoung offers.

“Also, I know someone who works at the café too. I can have her ask about you,” Heejin says, “her name is Mimi, you might have seen her?”

Sooyoung chuckles and shakes her head. “Trust me, the only person Haseul’s paying attention to in there is Kahei.” Haseul isn’t going to admit it, but it’s true. She can barely remember the faces of the other girls working there.

“I think I remember her,” she lies, “but isn’t that a little bit embarrassing?”

“I could always just tell her to ask if Kahei likes anyone. Apparently they’re pretty close.”

It isn’t her favorite idea, but Haseul doesn’t have any others, so she sighs, giving in to the girls. “Fine. Have Mimi ask Kahei.”

Sooyoung grins, celebrating her victory with a fist pump. “There you go! Now we just have flirting class to get to!”

“Mom’s getting a girlfriend,” Chaewon sings softly, and Haseul lets her head fall onto the table, wondering if being concussed will help her feel less embarrassed by her friends. It doesn’t help, because Heejin and Hyunjin join in with Chaewon, and Yeojin hums a dramatic, made up tune as Yerim giggles in the background, and all Haseul can do is hope that this doesn’t end like last time.

--

Just like she has so many times before, Haseul catches herself watching Kahei work through the café window. Every time, she tells herself that it isn’t creepy, because her eyes just move on their own. Even when she’s helping students or organizing books, as long as she’s on the first floor, she’ll catch her eyes wandering back to the familiar pink hair. Today, though, there isn’t much for her to do, so Haseul settles on watching the other girl work through the window.

Kahei moves and works smoothly, always with a smile on her lips as her fingers hover over the register or her skilled hands put together sandwiches or coffees of all types. Haseul has never seen her flustered, either, no matter how busy it gets, she never seemed to be phased. Even on the days when Haseul goes in after a big rush, Kahei seems just as beautiful and calm as ever, not a single hair out of place. It’s a skill that Haseul envies.

As she watches, a tall girl walks up to the register and earns a bright smile from Kahei as the barista reaches across to fix the girl’s bangs. The girl seems young, like she’s hardly a freshman, but Kahei seems to know her well, and it makes Haseul’s heart pang as she watches the two talk. The girl is a better fit for Kahei anyway. They’re both beautiful in that angelic type of way that Haseul strove for in high school, only to give up on once she reached college. The girl is probably an angel on earth, and Haseul is, well, a mom, and a librarian with thick-rimmed glasses and a bob haircut because it’s easier to take care of with her busy schedule. The girl blows Kahei a kiss, and Haseul watches the girl of her dreams giggle and shake her head as she turns around to make a drink.

She begins biting at her bottom lip, lost in thought as she watches Kahei go through the now-familiar process of making a latte. Do pretty girls like Kahei even date girls like her?

“Hey, Haseul?” A familiar voice breaks her out of her thoughts and she turns around to see Jinsol standing there with a stack of books in her arms. “Can you check these out for me?”

“Oh, sure!” Haseul hopes her lips aren’t too chapped as she takes the books from the younger girl’s arms and places them down on the desk, quickly logging in to the system.

“Slow day?” Jinsol asks, looking around as she fishes through her backpack for her student ID.

“Yeah, pretty slow. Midterms are mostly over.”

“I wish. My poetry professor is so behind that we’re only just starting our midterm essay.”

“That explains all the books on Gertrude Stein,” Haseul says, raising her eyebrows as she slips the receipt into the top book and hands the stack back to her friend. “Good luck with that.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” Jinsol’s eyes dart over to the café and she clears . “Um, I saw you looking when I came up and I just want to say that you should follow your heart. I was really nervous to ask Jungeun out because she seemed so cool and calculated but it turned out that she was just too nervous to talk to me. It really paid off for me, you know?”

Haseul smiles at her. “I know. I’m the one who encouraged you to confess, remember?”

“Oh. Yeah. But I’m just saying that if you really like her you should let her know. Or something. Sorry, my brain is kind of dead right now.” She picks up her books and sends Haseul a grin. “Thanks for everything, mom.”

“No problem,” Haseul replies, waving as she walks away despite her slight confusion at the other girl’s words. Is she really that obvious?

Her eyes move back to the café, and she notices that the tall girl has gone, leaving Kahei alone once again behind the counter. For a moment, Haseul thinks their eyes might meet, as the older girl turns around and glances through the glass. But it’s too far away to tell, and she turns back around almost immediately, leaving Haseul watching the back of her head again.

“You know, you could just go and talk to her,” Amber says from behind her, making her jump and spin around, putting her hand on her chest.

“Boss! Don’t scare me like that!”

“Sorry,” Amber says, but she’s grinning like she doesn’t mean it. “But I mean what I said. You should go in there, you’ve been staring all day.”

“Am I that obvious?” Haseul says it out loud this time, and Amber nods.

“To anyone who knows you? Yes. You get this dreamy look on your face. It’s cute, actually.”

Haseul can feel her face getting red as she looks down at her desk. “That’s gross.” Her voice wavers a bit, and Amber reaches over to put her hand on her head, messing up her hair in the process and making her whine.

“You shouldn’t deny your feelings, dude. You know, my girlfriend is a singer.”

“Wait, really?” Suddenly intrigued, Haseul forgets her red face and looks up at her boss.

“Really. Have you heard of Luna?”

“Of course I’ve heard of Luna. She’s the most famous graduate from this school. She’s gone on to have tons of hit singles.” Haseul squints at the older girl and sits down on the stool behind the desk, crossing her arms. “You’re telling me that you’re dating her? How?”

“My charm and good looks,” Amber says, making Haseul laugh as she pulls out her phone and hands it over. Sure enough, the lockscreen photo is of her and Luna, with Luna kissing her on the cheek. “I thought she was so out of my league, because I was a research major. But I was also on the basketball team, and turns out, she used to come to all of my games. One day after a good game I looked up and she was right there and I just had to shoot my shot. I was all gross and sweaty but I asked her on a date and she said yes. And the rest is history.”

Haseul stares down at the photo on the screen as Amber talks, feeling something turn in her chest. They both look so happy together, and it makes Haseul realize that she wants that: she wants to take cute photos with Kahei and kiss her cheek and laugh about stupid things with her. Her feelings for Kahei go further than a crush now, and her hand shakes slightly at the revelation as she hands Amber her phone.

“You two are really cute,” she says, like her entire world didn’t just shift.

“Thank you! What I’m saying is that you should shoot your shot no matter how out of your league you think Kahei is. You’ll regret it later if you don’t, take it from your old boss.”

“You aren’t old.” Haseul feels a bit dizzy as she glances back towards the café and spots Kahei’s familiar pink hair. “Don’t say that.”

“Just think about what I said, okay?”

Haseul is pretty sure she won’t be able to stop thinking about it now, but she just nods, trying to ignore the way her heart picks up in her chest. “Okay.”

-

As it turns out, Haseul doesn’t have to think about Amber’s words for long, because the next day, she looks up to see a familiar girl standing at the desk. She fumbles with the books in her hands, mouth going dry as she tries not to make a fool of herself.

“Kahei! H-hey, what brings you over to our side of the library?” She asks, carefully putting down the books and smiling her best smile as she walks over to the desk. It’s hard not to get distracted by the sparkle in Kahei’s eyes, but she notices that the girl isn’t in her uniform today, and that she has her backpack perched on her shoulders.

“Haseul, hey! I actually needed your help with an essay, if that’s okay?”

Haseul blinks. Kahei is asking her for help, and she can help, because it’s her job. She just needs to get her heart to stop doing back-flips first. “That’s what I’m here for. What do you need help with?”

Kahei beams at her and puts her notebook on the desk, quickly flipping through it. “I just need help finding the right sources. I’m still a bit rusty at writing in another language, you know?”

A pang shoots through Haseul’s chest at her words, and she bites her lip, resolving to put away her own nervousness and help her any way she could. “Let’s get to work, then. I’ll help you write the best possible essay.” She’s still nervous, of course, but Kahei’s bright smile helps sooth all the thoughts running through her brain and makes it so, so worth it.

Kahei is easy to like, especially because she seems to have a lot in common with Haseul. She talks soft and has a sweet laugh and covers to make sure she isn’t too loud for the library, but she’s also serious about her schoolwork, listening closely to everything Haseul says while she nods her head in understanding. She isn’t afraid to ask questions if she has an idea or needs clarification, and Haseul likes that. It’s obvious that she’s a good student, and her quiet dedication makes the process seem to fly by. When Haseul checks her watch, she realizes that they’ve already been at this for more than an hour, but she’s not tired like she’d usually be. Talking to Kahei has been... fun.

“Can I ask you a question?” Kahei asks from over her laptop, and Haseul turns to look at the girl beside her, nodding her head. “Why did you become a librarian?” Her question makes Haseul stop and think. Why did she become a librarian?

“Well, I’ve always loved books and helping people, and I was already doing tutoring, so this just seemed like the next step.”

Kahei smiles, and Haseul feels her heart skip. “You’re a good librarian. Thanks so much for all your help.”

“It’s no problem.” She knows her face is flushed, but Haseul doesn’t look away this time. “I-I couldn’t do it without you supplying me with coffee, though.” The statement makes Kahei laugh, and a few other tables turn to look at them, but Haseul can’t bring herself to care right now.

“Anyone can make coffee, though.”

“I like yours the best.”

Kahei’s face flushes and she tucks her hair behind her ear, looking down at her laptop with a smile. “I’m glad to be able to help, then.” 

Haseul’s heart goes crazy, but she tries not to show it, clearing and looking down at one of the books on the table. “I’m glad to be able to help you too.”

Later, after Kahei has gone (turning to give Haseul a little wave and a smile that makes her feel a little faint before she goes) Haseul sits behind the desk, staring down at the pile of returned books underneath. Her thoughts are full of Kahei and her smile, and Amber’s words from the day before play in her head, mixing with Kahei’s laugh and her own doubts. A copy of The Scarlet Letter blinks up at her from inside the box, and she knows what its saying, even if she’s afraid to listen.

“Tell her, or you’ll regret it.”