Jimin woke up before everyone else.

His lashes fluttered open as he fanned the sleepiness away from his eyes. His shoulders rolled back, a small sigh of content escaping his lips as a warm breath spread on his neck. His body, still slightly cramped up from the position he had taken on the couch, huddled up in Seokjin’s arms, felt somewhat stiff. His ankles made sure to show their disapproval as well when, as soon as Jimin had managed to escape his hyung's hold and he stood up, both of his feet cracked loudly; thankfully, the one that was aching seemed to have healed on its own during the night -crazy what a good night of sleep can do to your body. Yet, he gritted his teeth, turning around swiftly to look at Seokjin's -thankfully- asleep features.

But then, Jimin was faced with a dilemma.

Should he bring his hyung back to his room, acting as if yesterday night's events had never happened? Had Seokjin wanted to show his affection to him or had he only tried to comfort the boy? Was there something more to his actions? Or had Jimin read him completely wrong last night?

But Jimin was too used to rejection, and the simple idea that the man he so-deeply wished to call his boyfriend had feelings for him too was overwhelming. And Jimin didn't like to be overwhelmed, to feel like he had no control over what was happening to him, or the ones he cares about. And he cared a whole lot for Seokjin.

With a newfound determination, the kind that could only be born of a resolute mind tangled in knotted-strings of sleep, Jimin made his way to the couch, somewhat gracefully lifting the long noodle-limbed male in his arms. He could not comprehend how Seokjin had not woken up yet, nor did he understand how Namjoon barely stirred in his sleep when he violently opened the door, sending it to collide with the wall as Seokjin’s weight in his arms was draining all of his energy. Jimin managed to waddle to the side of Seokjin’s bed in many short strides, laying his hyung’s body on the covers and taking a few short breaths to keep his breathing steady. Jimin dropped on one knee at his hyung’s bedside, sweeping Seokjin’s silvery fringe away from his dark brows. He let his fingers trace the side of his face, his thumb falling on his hyung’s jaw, caressing his skin until he reached his lips.

Those same lips which had been pressed against Jimin’s neck the night before. Those same lips which had left an invisible mark with their softness. Jimin jumped when he heard Namjoon move on the other side of the room, though it was only to turn in his sleep. Jimin’s hand, which had, with a mind of its own, placed itself on the spot where Seokjin’s lips had lied the previous night, retracted to the side of Seokjin’s bed to steady himself as he stood up. And as he made his way to the door, Jimin bit his bottom lip. Was he doing the right thing? Would Seokjin remember last night’s event or had he been too tired to register what had happened? Had he been too tired himself to control his hands and lips? What had last night meant to him?

But before he could come to a conclusion, reaching the kitchen quietly, a purple mane appeared in front of him. His dark shirt contrasted deeply with the pale skin of his arms as he busied himself with a glass of water.

At first, Jimin thought -hoped- that the rapper had not seen him as his back had been turned to him from the moment he had walked into the kitchen. But his presence in the room had most definitely not been unnoticed by the older male whom, by the sound of his raspy voice, made Jimin stop in his silent steps that he had taken back towards the hallway,

"You're cute."

Jimin paused.

What?

Yoongi waved a hand in the air, "I mean, you and Seokjin-hyung."

Feeling like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck, Jimin found himself unable to move, too afraid to move, knowing it would trigger his hyung's glare -even though he was prepared to plunge to the floor in the most athletic way he could to avoid whatever scold-inducing-look his hyung was about to give him; because Yoongi knew. Yoongi knew about Jimin’s attraction towards Seokjin, but Yoongi did not know about the older singer’s feelings, no one did; did they even exist? And Yoongi knew that if Seokjin had not made it clear to Jimin, or any of the other boys, then the latter would only end up getting hurt. Maybe more hurt than he already was as he lied in the unknown; ‘maybe, or not,’ Jimin had told him, ‘I am just waiting for some kind of closure here, and it’s killing me.’ Yoongi had obviously huffed and slapped the back of his dongsaeng’s head, telling him to ‘stop being so dramatic about it. You’re not going to die.’ But the fear still lingered, day after day, and the 95-liner could feel it eroding his insides, like sandpaper scrubbing his stomach.

Jimin waited, his breath slow and heavy.

"He tried to convince me you were leaving every night," Yoongi sighed, taking a sip of his water. "He looked so sure of himself but, well, he's always making a big deal out of the smallest things when it comes to us, you know..." Yoongi turned to Jimin, giving him a look-over, his stare lingering on the light-purple creases beneath his eyelids. "I guess I should have believed him from the start."

Jimin felt his eyes widen and his whole-body froze. At this point, Jimin was panicking fully. He opened his mouth three times, closing it each time as his tongue did not cooperate. He started shaking and the bile that had risen in his throat the night before made itself known again. Though, Yoongi saved him from his panic attack,

"I know, I won't say anything to the others. Promise."

Jimin swallowed, closed his eyes and breathed -panted- a few times before allowing the words to leave his mouth,

"Thank you, hyung."

Yoongi hummed, turning his back to Jimin, rinsing the glass he had just finished.

"You looked comfy on the couch. I would have joined you if I would have been sure to not ruin anything,” the older male shot a smug smirk at Jimin who felt his cheeks heat up. “But, I mean, why did he move back to his room? He could have at least made breakfast if he’s awake. I wouldn’t have had to eat Jungkook’s kid cereals for breakfast and prepare something for the others...” He mumbled the last part, though Jimin was not focused on what Yoongi’s stomach had been feeding on, his mind was somewhere else. Because Jimin was barely answering the questions he had had earlier. Because Jimin was only processing now that what he had just done was a mistake.

“Seokjin-hyung i-is n-not awake,” Jimin heard himself say.

He had most certainly not done the right thing.

“H-he’s still sleeping,” he added. “Hyung, I-I’m not sure he…”

“Park Jimin,” Yoongi called, his voice suddenly laced with an authoritative tone, “don’t tell me you’re going to turn a blind eye on whatever happened to the both of you last night.”

"I-I-" Jimin took a few seconds to register the expression on his hyung's features.

Because Jimin knew he had made a mistake, probably the biggest mistake of his life, but he would have all the time in the world to hate himself later.

Right now, his hyung's gaze was enough to tell him one thing.

One thing that Yoongi made sure he would hear from his mouth.

"Park Jimin, you are an idiot."

So he was.

 

 

*************

 

 

“Jungkook, give me that back.”

The maknae bit his bottom lip, undoubtedly failing at hiding the smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Taehyung’s nostrils flared as the younger singer held one of his hotteok in his slender fingers. Jungkook brought the pastry to his lips. Taehyung took a step towards him,

“Don’t you dare,” he growled.

A bite and a ‘yah’ later, the two youngest of the members were running around the dorm. Rushing up and down the hallway, jumping over the couch to catch up/dodge each other.

However, their little chase was cut short when Namjoon erupted from the hallway and into the kitchen, sharply dressed and his hair swept up from his forehead.

“Guys,” he spoke authoritatively, though his tone remained somewhat quiet. At this exact moment, Taehyung cornered Jungkook and pressed his body to his, trapping him near the counter where Jimin was monitoring the pastries so they did not overcook as he mindlessly washed the dishes. The latter placed the spoon he had been wiping dry aside. Jimin, Yoongi, Jungkook and even Taehyung -after whispering a small ‘caught you’ into the maknae’s ear- turned their heads to look at their leader. “Seokjin is not feeling well. If you could tone it down a bit, I’m sure he’d appreciate it.”

Jimin saw Yoongi’s eyes shift in his direction before looking back at Namjoon,

“Is it a somachache?” the rapper asked, looking back at the last batch of freshly baked hotteok he had cooked, gesturing at Jimin to turn the oven off.

“No, I think it’s just a headache. He says it will go away quickly but you know how our hyung is.”

A few nods followed his statement. Seokjin was always caring for others, he wasn’t one to ask for help, to ask for comfort, to ask for anything, really. Namjoon picked a pastry from the pile that rested on the kitchen aisle and bid goodbye to the others as he made his way towards the door, heading to a certain destination which Jimin couldn’t be bothered to remember the name of, where the leader was having an interview in a few hours. The oldest of the maknae line was brought out of his daydream when he saw Yoongi handing him a plate from the corner of his eyes. Surprised, Jimin turned to him, both of his hands extended towards the plate.

“Take this to Seokjin-hyung, he will need all the energy he can get to get rid of that headache,” Yoongi spoke matter-of-factly as to not draw the two youngest’s attention who had gone back to arguing, though, quietly now -or as quietly as the duo could get. But through the look he was giving Jimin, Yoongi’s intentions were as evident as could be. Jimin’s eyes widened as he stared at Yoongi, his gaze shifting from one eye to the other.

Both of them doubted that Seokjin would be as childish as to ‘call-in sick’ because of the events that had happened the night before, or in the morning, but even if he was, indeed, sick, Jimin still needed to explain his behaviour to the oldest. When the plate’s weight lowered his hands, Jimin shook his head to regain his composure. He balanced the plate on one of his hands, grabbing a glass on the counter where Taehyung and Jungkook were still pressed against one another. Unfortunately for Jimin, the glass took long enough to fill up with water for him to hear some of his dongsaengs’ conversation.

“Jungkook-” Taehyung started with a warning tone, only to be cut off by the maknae.

“Bite me,” he spat, leaning closer to Taehyung’s face in a challenging manner.

Taehyung growled, pressing his chest fully against Jungkook as he tilted his head towards the maknae’s neck,

“Be careful what you wish for, little bunny.”

Jimin turned off the water, gathering the plate and the glass in his arms before skipping away from his best friend and -what he knew to be- his love interest. The two of them had never made it official amongst the boys but their little games had always led to many suspicions from the other members. And even if Jimin wanted them to feel comfortable enough to share their -not so well- hidden relationship, the fact that Taehyung knew about his feelings for Seokjin prevented him from affirming his doubts out loud.

Jimin arrived in front of Namjoon and Seokjin’s door more quickly than he would have wished. The door was cracked open but no light seemed to sip through the gap. Sure enough, when Jimin’s foot pushed it gently -being unable to knock because of his obstructed hands- the younger singer was engulfed into pitch black darkness. The door, apparently not oiled as well as Yoongi and Jimin’s, cracked slightly as the gap between the door and the wall widened enough to let Jimin enter.

The mattress shifted and Seokjin’s voice was heard, muffled by the bedsheets,

“I'm fine. Go away,” he croaked weakly.

Jimin advanced towards the bed, placing the hotteok filled plate on his bedside table, keeping the glass of water tightly held between his fingers. Seokjin was turning his back to him, though he thought it was mostly to block the light emanating from the hallway.

“Hyung,” Jimin’s voice trembled.

Jimin saw his hyung's shoulders tense up under the covers. Seokjin sighed. He slowly dragged his body sideways to face his guest. Jimin’s hands shook at the way Seokjin’s eyes stared at him blankly, his eyebrows slightly knitted together.

“Why?”

It was as if Jimin had been unaware of his feelings filling up his corneas, because at this simple word, Jimin surprised himself as his eyes flood with tears, many of them escaping the barrier of lashes and lids of skin to continue their exodus down Jimin's cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” he whined in a whisper, looking back at Seokjin’s blurred form through his tears.

He had been so wrong to ever think that Seokjin would be okay with a decision made without him being consulted first, without his consent having been given when he was one of the people affected. And that, Jimin knew. Jimin knew his hyung had every right to be pissed off at him for his actions. It should have been his duty to make sure that Seokjin did indeed actually not want anything to do with Jimin. He had been so stupid, so, so stupid.

Jimin felt a hand caress his hair and another taking the glass of water he had, unconsciously so, started to crack from the tight grip he had on it, from him. He pressed his head into the mattress, his fists tightening in his lap.

“Jimin, it’s fine-” Seokjin started, his hand that was resting in Jimin’s hair gliding down to the top of the ear he had kissed the previous night.

“No, it’s not,” Jimin shook his head, wiping his tears away with the back of his jumper’s sleeves. “I hurt you!”

“Jimin, I-”

“All I’ve ever done is hurt you, hyung!” Seokjin closed his eyes, tucking at the back of Jimin’s hair, grazing his fingertips down his neck.

“Now that is just not true at all-”

“I have! And I will again because I’m just that much of an !”

Seokjin’s eyes opened, slightly hooded by his furrowed eyebrows.

“Jimin,” he spoke in a warning tone.

“I am, I’m just a failure and I’m sorry you had to witness that first-hand. I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry, hyung I-”

“Jimin, shut up.”

The curse word made Jimin’s head perk up, only realising now that Seokjin’s hand was massaging the spot where his lips had rested a few hours ago. He noticed how much louder his voice had gotten when the silence that followed Seokjin's interruption made a quiet beeping flow through his ears. Seokjin retracted his hand from Jimin's hair, the latter's head tilting effortlessly to follow his hyung's movement.

“Hearing you cry is making my headache worse,” Seokjin stated, before taking a sip from the glass of water.

Jimin pressed his lips together, scared that a sound may leave his lips at any moment, as if the man had no control over his body, as if he could not trust himself.

During the following minutes, Jimin watched his hyung chew bite after bite of hotteok until the plate was empty and so was the glass of water, leaving and coming back once after filling it up, bringing a headache pill as well. Seokjin let out a contented sigh with his stomach at-least-somewhat-filled and slipped back under the covers.

“You can tell Yoongi the food was good,” Seokjin murmured, slipping the covers over his body, “but I’m still better.”

Jimin nodded, taking the plate with him but leaving the half-empty, half-full glass of water on his hyung's bedside table, smiling slightly at Seokjin’s own grin. As Jimin was about to leave, a hand curled around the fabric of his pants, behind his knee.

“Thank you, Jimin.”

*************

The following night, the seven boys -even Seokjin who, according to Jungkook, had found enough strength to kick him away from Namjoon and his room when the maknae had come in to beg him, asking him to save his youngest dongsaeng from Yoongi's wrath whom had just been awaken in a most violent way- all settled down on the three couches facing the T.V, throwing blankets and pillows at each other across the room, readying themselves for their movie night.

Jimin placed two blankets on his left side as he sat at the end of the middle couch for Taehyung and Jungkook who were in front of the T.V., bickering about what movie to watch; though, Jimin couldn’t help but feel as if their entire demeanour, squeezing each other’s shoulders, applying a light caress down the other’s spine, nuzzling into the other’s cheek, was off. Or maybe not off, off is a strong word. It was surprising, for sure, seeing them get really touchy around their hyungs; but not weird or unnatural, just, intriguing.

Hoseok, already engulfed in his warm blanket, smiled as Yoongi made his way towards the younger rapper. Yoongi took one end of his blanket in his hands, lifting it up to try and make sense of the pile laying on the leather couch, but his attempt only seemed to tighten the knot of fleece. He grunted.

“Suga, need some help with that?”

Jimin thought for a second that his neck would suffer a whiplash injury with the speed at which his head pivoted to look at the left couch where Namjoon was already laying down fully, his head barely uncovered from the blanket lying on him.

“I’m fine,” Yoongi replied, obvious annoyance in his tone.

Jimin’s head was on the verge on turning back to look at his struggling hyung when a tall form appeared behind the left couch. His silver fringe fell on top of his eyebrows, his head dropped down, masking where his stare lingered on the ground. Before Namjoon was able to speak a -most probably- witty remark to a most frustrated hyung at his right, his legs were lifted off of the couch.

Jimin could not tear his eyes off of Seokjin as he sat, wrapping the blanket around his broad shoulders, -ah, how Jimin wished he could make space for his tiny form under the blanket, just to be close to him, just to enjoy his warmth, and scent, and steady heartbeat, and- don’t Jimin. You will only end up hurt.

Jimin blinked a few times, surprising himself with how aloof he had been for the past seconds. His gaze came back into focus, onto the man he had been thinking about, onto the man he so deeply adored, onto the man who was looking right back at him, a small smile curving his lips. His lips. Jimin’s hand found its way on his neck, on the spot where the man’s lips had invisibly marked him. The contact of his cold fingers on his warm skin made Jimin shiver, his senses now fully alert of everyone else in the room. To get himself out of his daydream, Jimin had, unthoughtfully, bit his bottom lip, jerking himself awake fully. But his gaze had stayed on Seokjin this whole time, and his hyung must have seen the way he had bitten his lips; and Jimin stared across the couch as Seokjin’s tongue travelled down his own bottom lip before in a breath, his cheeks creasing at the movement. Jimin felt his whole face catch on fire. Thankfully for him, Taehyung and Jungkook were calling for everybody’s attention in front of the T.V. screen. The oldest member of the maknae line jumped on the opportunity to turn his gaze away from Seokjin with an intense velocity, somehow, magically, not getting a whiplash injury, again.

Jimin’s eyes shifted to his hyungs on the right couch where both Yoongi and Hoseok now sat, the younger sitting cross-legged while the other had his legs beneath him, his body slightly tilted towards his friend.

“Hyungs, we have an important announcement to make,” Jungkook spoke, catching everybody -including Jimin- off guard.

They both sat cross-legged in front of them, both of Jungkook’s hands laid in his lap while only one of Taehyung’s tightly gripped at the hem of his pyjama pants, the other disappearing behind him. The younger of the ‘hyungs’ fixed his gaze on his dongsaengs, watching Taehyung’s behaviour as he was standing only an inch closer to the couches, a subconscious protective display of his.

“We…” Jungkook started, making Jimin shift the subject of his focus, scooting closer to Taehyung as one of the maknae’s hands reached for the one Taehyung had in his lap. “We are in a relationship.”

Jungkook intertwined his fingers between Taehyung’s, the latter’s previously hidden hand appearing on the waist of the maknae, rubbing his thumb on his side.

Namjoon was the first one to speak up,

“Taehyung-ah, Jungkook-ah,” the younger trembled at his hyung’s reprimanding tone, though Taehyung puffed his chest as if he was trying to swallow Jungkook’s form behind him with his shadow, “you are both aware that this is no topic to mess around with?” They both nodded. “You both know that this is going to bring some repercussions on our careers because of our bands’ popularity?” Again, they both nodded. “You are both conscious of the fact that, if you do decide to come out to our fans, the public eye will have a say in this as well? Especially ARMYs.”

“We know,” Taehyung spoke up, “that’s why we need your approval first. We do not want to act around you as if nothing was happening. I- we can't do this anymore." Taehyung stared at Namjoon, a somehow fierce kind of defiance breaking through his soft brown orbs. His gaze shifted from hyung to hyung as he added, "We are fine with not coming out publicly, for now, we just want you guys' approval."

The silence that settled once more was only broken by Namjoon's voice,

"Well, we were all, more or less, aware of your closeness," Namjoon spoke gently, almost carefully, as if he was trying to approach a scared animal -a metaphor which applied to Jungkook mostly-, "I think we can all agree on the fact that it was very brave of you to talk to us all about this," three nods and a breathy 'yeah' from Yoongi followed.

"Just don't get all touchy in front of us like this morning," the same voice added. Jimin and Hoseok laughed, one because he had been the witness of it all, the other because his imagination most definitely worked well. Jimin saw Namjoon shrug, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

The two younger males, still sat on the floor in front of the three couches, were now looking at each other. Their gazes bore so many sentences, like a waterfall, a waterfall narrowing into a river and only their lover’s passion-filled gaze could act as a bridge above the air-filled water, letting their feelings cross each other, greeting their partner's before flooding their eyes with love.

The connection was however, sooner than later, broken when Taehyung eyed Jungkook's lips, parting his own. Jimin watched as Jungkook smiled, closing his eyes and tilting his head to the side.

"Don't look, kids!"

Seokjin's sudden cry made everyone pause, even the couple whose eyes shifted to their oldest hyung's form as he struggled to keep his hand in front of Namjoon's eyes as the younger man struggled to get his arms out of his blanket and around Seokjin's wrist to push his hand away.

Hoseok's laugh was the first one to be heard but, soon enough, everyone joined in the fit. Taehyung jumped on the occasion to peck Jungkook's cheek and they both made their way towards the couch silently, the remote held between the maknae's fingers as he pushed the play button. Jimin sat straighter when they approached, grinning at them,

"Congrats, guys."

Taehyung patted his best friend's thigh, nodding, and then returned his attention back on his lover even though the movie was beginning.

Jimin’s gaze swiped the room, his gaze fondly appreciating Yoongi and Hoseok’s closeness even though the whole couch was available. He wondered for a second what it would look like if the pair of them made a similar confession. His gaze briefly took in Namjoon's half asleep form on the couch as his legs were still draped over Seokjin's lap. The broad-shouldered man had his gaze fixated on the T.V. screen, though he could have sworn it was not a few seconds ago. Biting the inside of his cheek, Jimin looked back at the screen, swallowing himself up in blankets.

And if he had looked longer, Jimin would have seen the longing in his hyung’s eyes. He would have seen how his eyes traced Jimin's dimly lit features, how his bottom lip was mistreated by the uneven chewing of his rosy skin. He would have seen it all.

But for now Jimin had yet to decide whether his feelings were to see the light of day and bloom with his hyung by his side or if they were to remain hidden from the world for the rest of his life.

 

*************

 

FrenchieAuthor's note:

Okay so, um, I feel like I may need to explain myself for this abrupt ending.

As I said in previous notes, I usually give a lot of myself in the personalities I attribute to the members in my fanfictions, and I feel like this has been both a blessing and a curse for me, as a writer.

And, to me, this may be the ending that makes the most sense to me but not to you, my readers, so allow me to let you have a sneak-peak of what's inside my mind.

When I first started writing Home, I had this whole plan about how each character was going to be involved with the creation of Seokmin, however, at the end of chapter 2, I just felt this urge to end this fanfiction sadly (?). It's not that sad if you care enough to imagine a happy ending where they both confess to each other and have a long and healthy relationship. Yet, there is an obvious pessimistic view of the future and, as the fanfiction is mostly written through Jimin's POV, and therefore relates to me in more ways than I can explain, a happy ending would not have felt right. By giving too much of my personality to this Jimin, I ended creating something that is way too similar to what I have lived through, not that I have cuddled with Seokjin, I would remember it, probably. Therefore, as my story/life has still a long (hopefully) way to go, it didn't feel write to elongate this Jimin's story and neither did I feel comfortable going too deeply into my own insecurities through a character yet.

Well, I feel like the explanation was longer than the actual fanfiction, ah.

I'm sorry for the readers who expected more but hey, I'm human, and moreover, a big fluff ball of angst so bare with me, please.

If any of you have inquiries or requests to make for future stories, feel free to contact me, both here and on Twitter @FrenchieAuthor !

Thank you all for reading, I wish you a very good night/day!