I.

It rained like crazy that same day they lost him.

In all aspects he excels, while she remained to be nothing but a wallflower. To everyone who looks at them, standing side by side, they would know who the real valuable gem is, and who still needs hundred times of polishing until it glistens, even just a bit.

Even their parents feel the same way, with him being a trophy child and her being a simple accessory, mindlessly thrown and forgotten. She hated them for not seeing the truth behind the deceitful lights of fame, for not listening when she needed them the most. Being invisible means no one is expecting anything from her, and he hates her for that. All the pressure, all the watchful stares, he hates them all but he can’t break his own self. He can’t break his own image, so he started destroying her. When he failed with his candidacy at school, he punched and kicked her and their parents heard it all, she knows, but they remained unfazed and indifferent toward the incident, constantly saying that it will be fine, that her brother is just going through some hardships and she just needs to understand.

But she can’t.

Why would she need to be the one punished every single time that his brother is hurt?

And wrong as it may sound, she has never felt that much relief when he disappeared without a trace, like a smoke wisp lost in the wind after rising.

That wish of a normal life once again didn’t happen though, as their loss just brought in more chaos. The abuse, now from her parents, just got worse every day. Her thoughts were all messed up that she even wanted to die but after seeing her mother break down in front of her brother’s room, she had lost all reasons to stop them from hurting her. It pains her more to see them suffering, and she hated herself for being thankful of not seeing him ever again.

After all, no matter what things they’ve done, they will remain to be her parents. They gave her a chance to be born and to feel alive. Even if it means losing her own sanity, and for her to bear that hundredfold pain they now feel, she’ll stay beside them.

“-young. Hey Chaeyoung! What the hell’s wrong with you? You’re spacing out again. Are you really that fascinated by the rain? It’s already a storm outside you know.”

“Ah, I’m sorry, I just thought of something.”

The classes have long ended but the two girls decided to stay to finish some of their requirements before getting their fill for lunch. They were protected inside, untouched by another storm that brewed outside and rain falling in torrents, hitting the glass windows harshly as if wanting to come in.

“Is it about your parents again?”

“No, I’m just thinking whether to add, another scene or not. Should I revise the whole script instead?”

“Oh, so this is about that monster senior of ours.”

--

“I don’t care even if you’re regarded by the other seniors here as a talented writer. You wrote short stories for the school paper? Well guess what, you’re now here in the theater guild, and if you’re simply aiming to use this as a training ground to pursue being a novelist, you might as well just scram. Don’t make me laugh. A novelist wanna-be trying to be a playright? Can you even differentiate those two? You can’t even write a decent script and you’re aiming to be that much in life? Stupid.”

After tearing the heap of papers, the older member threw it in front and stepped on it deliberately, while still throwing an irritated gaze towards Chaeyoung, now almost in tears due to the words thrown at her.

She remained to be standing at the center of the stage, until one of her club mates pulled her away and cajoled her into calming down. Though she knows she won’t be forgetting that scene in a while.

--

“Wait, rather than a monster, she might just be the devil incarnate.”

“Hayi, that’s not nice.”

“Dear Chae, stop being a saint, or you’ll be eaten by the monsters lurking out there in no time.”

I’m not a saint though.

“I’m just trying to finish college without being called by the discipline office, If I could maintain my current clean record.”

“You… aish! That is why you get abused by the seniors, you know.”

With a single word, she wanted to curl into a ball and disappear for a moment. Holding her arms in a light hug, she laughed in return to the pout shown to her and acted nonchalantly, as if she’s not affected at all. 

Their mirth died down and was replaced with sudden nervousness as they saw a girl with such a serious look on her face, long hair tied into a ponytail and black clothes, approached them out the blue. Trying to rake their brains for whatever situation they have encountered for them to anger a stranger, they flinched from their seats once she spoke before they could do so.

“I’m sorry for being so sudden but, are you Chaeyoung Park?”

“Uh, yes, I am, why?”

“I need to talk to you.”

Before the one called answer in return once again, the other stood between the two, hands on hip, glaring and leaning forward to the taller one.

“Sorry for intruding but, why? What do you need with my best friend?”

“Right, I’m Lalisa Manoban. But please just call me Lisa.”

“…Manoban… you’re the daughter of Mr. Jeff, the one who handled my brother’s case?”

“Yes, and thank you for remembering my father. Is that enough reason for us to talk?”

“Hayi, you can go first. Please save a seat for me at the cafeteria.”

“You sure? I could wait for you outside.”

“…I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

“Fine. Hey you, if you try anything with Chae you will go through me, understood?”

“Grow first before you try facing me.”

“You-!”

After pulling and assuring her, Hayi finally left the two before doing anything stupid and be called again due to her carelessness. She has always been quite hot-headed ever since she had known the bubbly lass, but it had saved her most of the time so she doesn’t mind this part of her character at all. Returning to the spot where she left Lisa, she caught her looking at her phone with an angered expression, before the other noticed her and quickly hid the gadget.

“..Um, why were you looking for me? And we don’t even have any class together. Is-”

“I need your help.”

“Huh? You need me, to help you? Are you sure you have the right person to do that?”

“You’re a weakling, a coward, always fearing disorder, but yes, I’m with the right person at the moment.”

“What do you really mean?”

Scooting closer towards her, she pulled her by the end of her white sweater towards the nearest glass window, their voices almost drowned by the heavy pattering of the rain outside.

“Why do we have to talk right here when it’s loud out-”

“This may sound like I’m crazy but I’m just trying to take measure to assure your safety.”

When she noticed the questioning look on Chaeyoung’s face, Lisa just sighed loudly before whispering closely to her left ear.

“I found a link between my father’s death and your brother’s disappearance.”

This made the one listening suddenly look at her directly, eyes showing disbelief before hurriedly getting her belongings and rushing outside the classroom, leaving the other that stomped in frustration.

“Just when I just have started. How great.”

--

“Jisoo, how many times did I tell you, you need to-”

“-get serious or become a good-for-nothing. I know Pops, you have told that to me for more than a hundred times already.”

“Then how come you’re still involved in that mess?!”

“Just when I wanted to help and everyone looks at me like I’m the one who started it.”

“Don’t try to talk smartly with me young lady. No matter who started that brawl, the fact is, you still joined and made the situation worse! Do you know what the next step is now? Those guys that you beat are sent to the hospital and you will be the one to pay for the fees or they’ll sue you!”

“I’ll report them for bullying first then.”

“Out of all the good traits you could inherit from your mother, it has to be that stupid righteousness of hers. You can’t even use it properly!”

“Add beauty to that please.”

“This kid-! If you still got that strength left then go to that hospital and ask for forgiveness!”

“Eeeey, my shoulders and legs still hurt you know. Can’t you do it for your pretty daughter?”

“No! Just go already!”

“Aish, fine, fine, I’ll go… not!”

Laughing loudly, playfully skipping as if there’s no problem at all, Jisoo then ran quickly, leaving her father behind in their family-owned flower shop.

It was supposed to be a normal day, but she ended up fighting again even before reaching school, blood staining her favorite black and red jacket as well as her red sneakers. It’s true though that she has done it to protect a frail-looking guy who was bullied while other people passed by without care, behaving as if nothing is happening, as if a person is not hurt.

She had grown up without meeting her mother who had died in an accident before she even had her first birthday. At times, her father blames his self for instilling the concept of being strong in her young mind back then, since rather than thinking things thoroughly, she had ended up letting her body act first, making most of the people who know about her history wary of her.

By middle school, even those who became close to her slowly moved away one by one, afraid of being involved with any of her fights, thus by the time that she reached high school, she decided not to be a close friend to anyone anymore, or be left again.

His train of thoughts was broken by the sound of their delivery truck arriving in front of the store, with the only other person that could bear his daughter’s willfulness getting off, a list of customers at hand.

“Hey Mr. Shin, you look scarier than usual. Is it Jisoo again?”

“Who else could it be? I don’t know how I could discipline her anymore. She’s got the face of an angel but she behaves like rouge, totally unfitting for a lady. Her mother is such a sweetheart and very feminine, but look at her! I wonder where she got that personality. Do you have any idea Youjin?”

Stopping his self from laughing loudly, he moved towards the counter and placed the clipboard with the deliveries done for the day

“I wonder too.”

--

Instead of going towards the hospital where the ones she had beat earlier were currently confined, she ended up killing time in an arcade near the college where she’s supposed to be if not for the incident. Being suspended the first day she returned to school due to act of violence, she hates that she can’t attend her lessons, but she doesn’t hate having the time for herself at all.

Many people might think of her as someone who doesn’t care about grades and just going with the flow but she’s quite different from her rebellious image. She loves going to school and making herself busy, whether it’s related to play or work, for it makes her forget of the loneliness, even just for awhile.

Her full attention is on getting the Pooh stuff toy using the claw machine, until she’s hit by a person who seems to be in a hurry.

“What the- I almost got the doll!”

“I’m sorry, I- I need to go.”

All the curse words that she’s about to spout died in after seeing the tear-stained cheeks of the stranger, who seemed to not belong in the place with her beige fur coat and overall impression shouting of ‘rich’.

“Wait, are you crying?”

Instead of answering though, the other just cried louder this time, making Jisoo jump towards her, hand pressed towards her lips to make her silent before speaking calmer this time.

“Hey, please stop crying, or the people here would think that I’m the one who did this to you. Please.”

Nodding slowly, she stood still and tried not to bawl like earlier, but she can’t stop herself from crying, the image of the person he likes on one knee and proposing to another woman ingrained in her memory. Sensing her distress, the other just smiled brightly and nudged her by the shoulder.

“Hey rich kid, how about a round of whack-a-mole in exchange of my loss here at the claw machine? Sounds good?”

“But-”

“Let’s go!”

Instead of the pity look or the fake concern she had expected, the other treated her casually, as if she did not saw her cry like a child just awhile ago. By this time, her crying had turned into soft sobs, and she can now clearly see the other girl who seemed to be uncaring about the world, just laughing at the weird looks thrown at their direction.

“Alright, should I go first? Do you even know how to play this?”

“Of course I do.”

“Good! Here, you play first then.”

“Wh- I thought you wanted to-”

“I think it’s better if you play first. You can imagine those moles as the thing that pained you, whatever that is, no one would mind, no one would care, throw out all your frustrations until you can break that machine. Don’t worry, I’ll be your accomplice.”

“You don’t need to help me you know.”

“Shut up rich kid, I’m doing this for myself. If I left you crying there, my conscience would not let me sleep so just play already. Go!”

She’s childish and rash, but she’s kinder that those children of the other clans connected to her family and are supposed to be her circle of friends. With this, she approached the game and forcefully lifted for the first hit.

Until she needs to wear her mask again, she’ll let herself lost in the moment.

--

Yup, it's Shindong from SuJu and Youjin from KNK, since I love the sounds of the said groups. And it felt like they fit the parts. Who are the kpop artists that you're looking forward to see in the next chapters? Again, I would be placing members from various groups so the decisions might seem random. Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoy the next chapters as well.

Lovelots, 

S.L.

thought for the day: 

when the pain fills you up, be thankful that you're still aware of being hurt and is capable of feeling, rather than not knowing the value of it at all