A hot, summer breeze flows into the shop, making the wrapping papers nearby wave, along with with the ribbons behind him that flutter around rapidly. The wind chimes outside are barely audible to Baekhyun, along with loud motorcycles and traffic. It feels nice. The shop is always so much more lively in the summer. More flowers are in season, the city is more alive, everything just feels more right.

 

The bright colored tulips wave to him from outside the shop window, along with the marigolds, then the sunflowers. He’s quietly t down an elegant bouquet of lily’s that would be picked up within the hour. The guy said it was a really important date, and he didn’t want to seem cliche by showing up at the girls door with roses. Not that there’s anything wrong with them, it just doesn’t suit her personality. Baekhyun gets it, he sees this a lot.

 

It’s meaningful for people to notice more in the person they admire than just a single or a dozen roses. Something that matches their personality to the point where Baekhyun almost feels like he knows the receiver while he goes around and picks out the right flowers, pulls out the right wrapping paper, and prints out their little personalized note.

 

He doesn’t hear anyone walk into the shop, he just watches the little card slip out of the printer with the customer’s note. He doesn’t hear them call for him, or ping the bell on the counter, but when them waving catches the corner of his eye, his attention turns to the striking man in front of him.

 

“Oh, hi!” Baekhyun sputters, “I’m sorry, I didn’t even hear you.” He can feel himself turning red from embarrassment. Out the dozens of times he’s done this, you’d think he’d learn by now that purposefully turning off the noise of the city will result in him being a sputtering mess who is trying very hard to control his speaking volume.

The man shakes his head and tells Baekhyun not to worry, says he has an order placed that he was here to pick up.

 

“Kim Junmyeon…” Baekhyun drags, looking through the list of orders he still has to get done tonight, “Oh, I just finished it. I didn’t realize you’d be here so early.” He stands up and hurries to the bouquet, taking the card and a small piece of tape and adhering it to the wrapping paper, being careful not to wrinkle anything.

 

The man’s eyes practically light up when he sees what Baekhyun had put together and he thanks him about three different times while he pays, and three more on the way out.

 

Baekhyun only responded to the first one, didn’t hear the rest, and just smiled and waved to the man as he walked out of the shop.

 

Then it back him unknowingly tuning himself out from the world. It’s an awful habit to have when he’s working, but any other time, a total blessing.

 

Baekhyun’s eardrum is ruptured. He’s completely deaf in his right ear and the hearing in his left isn’t all that great either. He’s spent his entire life mastering lip reading and getting his parents help to repeat things that he may not have heard in crowded situations.

 

He’s also learned how to completely tune out the noise of the world around him, and just focus on the task at hand. In this case, flowers. Lots of flowers. He pulls his phone out and checks the time, just a couple more hours and he’s out of here to go and meet Kyungsoo. Best friend slash roommate who is also is day to day savior.

 

Kyungsoo ended up taking summer classes at their university and wants Baekhyun to meet him at the library for reasons he did not explain. Deaf boy and libraries are an awful mix and Kyungsoo is not oblivious to such fact. He’s been witness to Baekhyun asking where a certain book is way too loudly more than once, and has seen Baekhyun get shushed by other students for ‘whispering’ way louder than what’s considered to be normal.

 

What Kyungsoo could possibly want to meet Baekhyun for in a library, he doesn’t know, and he’ll stay not knowing until he gets there. Baekhyun pauses from his work to look outside, it still looks the same as it did a an hour ago. Two hours ago. Yet somehow there’s a slight difference, big enough to Baekhyun that it says he’ll be leaving soon enough.

 

Perks of working at a place that closes at the golden hour, Baekhyun doesn’t have to worry about trying to get home at night. If someone were to run up on him, they could easily do so because chances are, he wouldn’t hear them until they had a knife to his throat. Plus, the added benefit of having enough people around to possibly save his from oncoming traffic is nice too.

 

A few bouquets later, another string of people coming to admire the set up out front while he brings everything inside, and the sun finally sets below the tops of the taller buildings, leaving a platform game of shade and sunlight. Baekhyun checks the time again, makes sure everything is where it should be, hangs up his apron, and slips out for the rest of the evening, locking the door behind him.

 

The air is still warm, the traffic is still noisy, and the people are still alive, as they make their way to and from. Baekhyun follows the crowds across the crosswalks to make sure he’ll make it across the road alive, he listens carefully to anyone that might say something directed towards him, and he walks. Simply admiring everything along the way. The cakes and baked goods in bakery windows, the outfits on mannequins all lined up in outlet stores, the samplers standing in big brand makeup shops, who he politely shakes his head to when they say something about some some product and hold it out to him.

 

He hates samplers, they talk too fast and never loud enough and he never knows what they’re saying, so much as to what they’re offering. Kyungsoo is really good at avoiding them, he hates running into them just as much.

 

He gets to the library at sunset, and tenses up a little when he makes eye contact with one of the shelvers that’s had to tell him to be quiet more than enough times. Baekhyun just smiles as he walks around blindly trying to locate Kyungsoo. He texts him, no response. Just keeps walking, looking, not really paying much attention. He does that alot. The library is too quiet that Baekhyun can easily lose track of himself, even when there’s something he’s looking for, he always ends up distracted. It’s a quiet enough setting that he doesn’t have to worry about there being noise to drown out, it’s all just natural.

 

He jumps when a weight lands lightly on his shoulder. Kyungsoo’s chin is perched on Baekhyun’s shoulder, he has a warm smile on his face as he looks up at Baekhyun.

 

Somewhere in between him almost losing all of his art projects because someone on a skateboard almost ran him over, and them laughing over the way the watercolor smeared in the rain, making a portrait look a little funny, they became friends.

 

Baekhyun relied on his parents for a long time as being his only way of getting around and socializing properly, once he moved out and started college, adjusting was incredibly hard. He couldn’t keep up with lectures and group conversations, people didn’t understand that he needed them to speak up otherwise he would look almost clueless, and had no one to direct him out of the way from motor vehicles or accidents. It was a stressful year for Baekhyun. He hated it, he hated himself, and then Kyungsoo stumbled into the picture, and slowly, he started to feel like himself again.

By their second year of college, Baekhyun wondered where the Kyungsoo had been his entire life. He made life a million times easier for Baekhyun, saved him the embarrassment of being treated like a child when the employees at Subway try and ask what kind of bread he wants, knows when to pull him out of the way from motor vehicles, and repeats things in loud conversations that he might have missed. All he has to do is look at Kyungsoo, and everything he missed is repeated back to him in seconds flat, no hassle. It’s the little things, and that second year was when they decided to become roommates, because Kyungsoo was sick of Baekhyun never answering his phone and not knowing if it was because he dead or just because he didn’t know where his phone was. Also because Baekhyun just likes the idea of having someone to answer the door when packages come.

 

He sits Baekhyun down at a table, notebooks all laid out along with textbooks and gel pens. Everything organized and with a place. Kyungsoo rushes to shove everything into his backpack, making sure his places are marked and in order as he puts everything away one by one.

 

Baekhyun wants to ask, but decides against it. Assuming that they’re leaving, he’ll wait until they get outside to ask what the hell Kyungsoo made him walk all the way here for.

 

Kyungsoo tilts his head towards the door, signalling Baekhyun to follow, and when they finally get outside, Baekhyun is the first to speak, asking exactly what’s on his mind, “Mind explaining why you made me walk all the way here?” He asks, “You know how awkward it is to make eye contact with that shelver now? He hates me.”

 

“I wanted to get some food, but if you’re gonna complain…” Kyungsoo shoulders him gently, Baekhyun has bad balance because of the hearing loss so knocking him over is cake, Kyungsoo didn’t know that when they first met and nearly made Baekhyun fall down a flight of stairs. They still laugh about that.

 

“You could’ve just told me you were hungry. Now you made me get they eye from that scary shelver.” Baekhyun shudders, rolling his eyes as Kyungsoo snickers beside him.

 

“Minseok-hyung is nice though.” He whines. Baekhyun scoffs in return, “You guys are on a first name basis?”

 

Kyungsoo chuckles at the response, “I had a lot to finish today,” He says, changing the subject, “Besides, the only fresh air you get is between our place and the flower shop. You needed this.”

 

“Mmm,” Baekhyun hums, taking a deep inhale, “Yes, I love inhaling pollution. So fresh.”

 

Baekhyun is good at this. Pulling Kyungsoo’s strings just right. He’s managed to observe him for long enough that he knows how to mess with him and get a reaction. All in good fun, of course. Baekhyun likes playing around with Kyungsoo like this.

 

And he jokes like that the further they get into the bustling of city nightlife. Kyungsoo takes it, occasionally throws up a threatening hand to Baekhyun to make him flinch, but Baekhyun just pushes and Kyungsoo pulls.

Baekhyun can joke loudly like this because judging by the amount of people, it’s busy, which means it’s loud, which means he can be just as loud, and he loves it.

 

It’s a lot of walking and deciding, Baekhyun being too picky and Kyungsoo trying to go literally anywhere that was open and finally they settle on a place with a menu that Baekhyun can just pick and choose from. No going down a line asking for this or that. Fast food, Baekhyun’s other saving grace. Not so much Kyungsoo’s, though.

 

Even though the sun has set, everything is still so much alive, including Baekhyun’s energy to annoy Kyungsoo all the way home. He threw two french fries at Kyungsoo while they were eating because the other man resurfaced that he needed to get out more instead of stay hunched over his computer all day. Baekhyun tried to argue it was a lifestyle and technically, he’s doing something he’s passionate about.

 

It’s when they’re walking home that Kyungsoo finally brings up Baekhyun’s side work. His major, technically.

 

“Speaking of,” Kyungsoo speaks up on Baekhyun’s good side, “How’s your game coming?”

 

Baekhyun scowls, shrugs, “Alright. Slow progress.”

 

“Some progress is better than none though, right?” Kyungsoo glances over at Baekhyun, who sips quietly at the soda he’s still holding onto. His eyes are looking between all the neon signs and the people performing and the people that pass by them.

 

He didn’t hear Kyungsoo. It happens sometimes (a lot). Kyungsoo is naturally soft spoken and doesn’t always speak loud enough for Baekhyun to hear him. Between Baekhyun not hearing well and Kyungsoo not always speaking loud enough, they tend to make some honest mistakes, but Kyungsoo confidently repeats himself louder, earning a smile and nod from Baekhyun.

 

Their walk home is mostly them walking side by side quietly, but comfortably. Baekhyun likes that even though he can mess around and throw salty french fries at Kyungsoo while they’re eating, they can also sit in silence and do their own thing without it being considered awkward.

 

They follow a group of people across a crosswalk, trying to beat the countdown before the light changes. Baekhyun is a few steps ahead, steps off the curb, and Kyungsoo is right behind him.

 

His deaf ear was facing it, so the only reaction he got was the light of a motor scooter hurling around the corner and straight into him. Neither of them have enough time to react, the motorcycle swerves to the side but the gap between Baekhyun and the waiting line of traffic is too slim, the distance isn’t enough.

 

It was slow motion, then someone pressed the play button and suddenly he was covered in sticky, brown liquid and was sitting on the sidewalk.

 

“ing bastard! Learn how to drive!”

 

Baekhyun blinks, looks down at his scraped palms, then looks up at Kyungsoo, who is busy cursing out the now empty road, as if the driver is somehow going to listen. He turns back, crouches down next to Baekhyun, and asks if he’s okay, if he got hit, or run over, if he’s bleeding.

 

“I’m okay, I’m fine.” He says, grabbing onto the hand Kyungsoo offered and pulls himself up. His shirt is stained and wet with soda now, that will be fun to try and wash later.

 

Baekhyun brushes the ruble off of his palms against his jeans, which are also unpleasantly wet, and follows Kyungsoo all the way back home instead of being in front. He hates when Kyungsoo has to do that, has to jump in and make sure he doesn’t get plummeted by stupid food delivery drivers. Kyungsoo insists it’s okay, that he doesn’t mind, which is why he always lets Baekhyun cross the street first. So he can pull him back to safety in the instance that some impatient drivers will decide when it’s their turn.

 

Baekhyun apologizes all the way back home, Kyungsoo smiles and tells him it wasn’t his fault.

 

--- --- ---

 

The only pro about being part deaf is that Baekhyun doesn’t always have to listen to people, or loud traffic that might wake him up in the middle of the night.

 

“People” referring specifically to people he doesn’t like.

 

There’s more cons than anything.

 

Cons that constantly make him feel like a burden. Particularly to Kyungsoo and his parents, but he doesn’t mention it.

He knows Kyungsoo is going to shake his head and tell him it’s really okay and that he likes knowing he can help make things easier for Baekhyun, but Baekhyun sometimes just wishes he could disappear into thin air and never have his existence known ever again.

 

He doesn’t want to imagine the response from his parents, if they had one.

 

Baekhyun keeps those worries to himself, as it should be. Complaining won’t do anything to make things better, it’ll just make him want to withdraw himself from the world even more than he already does. He’s gone through this before. Too many times.

 

He remembers when he first started to find out. In school the teachers had to call his parents because they thought there was something they didn’t mention, if he had any development issues, or social issues, because he was falling behind.

 

They said he looked like a stone in class. He sat there and watched but didn’t do what was instructed. When he played with other kids he just ended up running around by himself because he didn’t know that he was “it” in tag.

 

His parents started asking him at home if there was something wrong, why he wasn’t doing what he was told, why he was always a beat slower. WHen they finally took him to get checked, the pediatrician told them that he maybe he had a hearing issue, and so the tests began.

 

When they found out that there wasn’t really anything a hearing aid could do and that the school would have to work extra carefully with him, that’s where Baekhyun thinks he lost some part of them. Their perfect little boy wasn’t really so perfect and he needed a little extra help getting through conversations. He needed extra help in learning to speak, learning to keep his voice down, learning to try and be a somehow decent, functioning human being.

 

Kyungsoo is absolutely no different.

 

Sometimes Baekhyun tries to do things on his own to prove that he is somehow independent and can totally handle things on his own, but then someone asks him something and it sounds garbled, and then he gets embarrassed asking them to repeat it three times, each time turning his good ear closer and closer until he can make out what they said.

 

Then he has to apologize, and then he has to say “Sorry, I’m deaf in one ear. Can you speak up a little”

 

Then they just get this look on their face, they apologize, then “Why didn’t you just say so?”

 

Because he doesn’t want to be treated like a child. He just needs people to speak up, not talk slower. He just doesn’t want to be treated differently.

 

His parents always treated him like that. That’s where he knows he lost a part of them.

 

Sometimes, he finds himself in circumstances where he isn’t the first to say anything at all. Sometimes things just happen.

 

Baekhyun had stopped by a friends house after work, said friend lives in a different part of the city and the fastest way to get there is by train. He told Kyungsoo he’d meet him back home and assured him that he’d be just fine getting there and back. Baekhyun is confident, and when he’s travelling alone he just needs to make sure that he finds himself in more less active settings.

 

Baekhyun had gone to show Sehun,\- friend who lives stupidly far but is the only person he trusts besides Kyungsoo, the recent tweaks and updates in the prototype of the video game he’s been slaving over for more than a year now. Sehun is his tester, also the person who he yells at over a headset during odd hours of the night because his Pub-G character needs healing.

 

It went well, there’s still some mechanical issues that Baekhyun needs to fix that Sehun had managed to stumble upon, the younger also gave him some storyline ideas for a few characters, Baekhyun took notes the whole time, and is already eager to go home and start on fixing them.

 

He texts Kyungsoo as he steps onto the train, slipping his headphones into both of his ears (even though he has the audio filtered to one side), and holds onto the grab rail above him since the other seats are occupied, minus the ones for the elderly and pregnant women, which he always likes to leave free just in case.

 

He scrolls through news, social media, taps around on games through the first few stops. A totally normal train routine. Some people file off, new ones get on, the rotation continues and Baekhyun is totally oblivious to his surroundings.

 

Sometimes things just happen, and Baekhyun wishes he could understand why it has to be him that it happens to.

 

Someone jostles him by the shoulder. Not a tap, or a light pat. Hard grip, thorough movements, heavy enough to make Baekhyun’s grip tighten around the handle and startle him completely. He can feel the earbud in his deaf side get yanked out, then he looks up.

 

A middle aged man stands in front of him. He looks angry, kind of frustrated. He’s saying something but Baekhyun can’t really tell. He can tell he’s speaking low as to not cause a scene, which just makes it harder to read his lips. Baekhyun takes other earbud he had his music playing in, and stares at the man (who looks infuriated) in confusion.

 

It’s times like this where Baekhyun tends to freeze up, and his brain goes on auto-pilot, making him lose all sense of being a semi-functioning human being, and just

 

A stone.

 

He wants Baekhyun to move, for some reason. Maybe just because he wants to sit, but that’s a reserved seat, andt this guy doesn’t look the type to give it up either. There isn’t anyone who needs it standing in here. What’s the issue?

Somehow, all Baekhyun can do is focus on is this angry man in front of him, and what he’s trying to say. The train is loud. Baekhyun can only hear the sound coming from the ruckus the train is making, he stares at the man like he’s never heard his own language before.

 

The man mutters something under his breath, Baekhyun can still only hear the noise of the train.

 

Baekhyun blinks. Does he respond honestly, or not? He’s about to finally move, let his sweaty hand release around the bar, but his phone is smacked out of his hand, and onto the ground, headphones along with it, a shoe comes into view and kicks it across the floor, letting it slide and drag his headphones pathetically behind it. Baekhyun’s hand tightens instinctively on the handle.

 

.

 

“Move, before I mdwhe uywu”

 

“Before you what?” Baekhyun’s voice is finally starting to work. His tone came off a little threatening, a little defensive. Too defensive.

 

The guy scoffs, shakes his head, and in a split second Baekhyun is hunched over with a fistful of his hair in this stranger’s hand. One smack to the side of his face, then one more, the man is yelling something into his bad ear, but suddenly the the grip is tugged free. Forcefully, not willingly.

 

Baekhyun looks up, there’s people with worried looks on their faces, some choosing to ignore it, but one tall figure that stands in between the two.

 

He has a loud voice, it carries, and it’s loud enough that Baekhyun can hear him telling the man to leave Baekhyun alone, that he probably didn’t mean it.

 

“Stupid kid is being selfish! No one ever pays attention to those seats.” The older man yells back, pointing to Baekhyun, who is slowly trying to migrate away from the chaos to try and retrieve his phone, still abandoned on the floor.

“I- I couldn’t hear you.” Baekhyun manages to sputter out, “I’m partially deaf, the train was too loud-”

 

“Bull! Lazy, bratty kids like you always try to bull your way through your problems.” The guys says. The taller man is still trying to cool him down, saying Baekhyun doesn’t look like he’s lying and that he should just leave him alone, and sit down now that Baekhyun’s moved.

 

He could cry, but he won’t.

 

He watches the tall man turn around. He’s young, maybe around his age. Baekhyun watches him stride over to pick up Baekhyun’s phone off the floor and wrap his headphones around it, then hands it back to Baekhyun who slowly reaches out to accept it, and then quietly thanks the man, who smiles brightly and tells him it’s no worries, then moves on to ask if Baekhyun was okay.

 

The train speaker pings, announces his stop and he tilts his good ear up to try and listen, then looks back at the man and nods, and thanks him again for stepping in.

 

The train finally comes to a stop and the doors open and Baekhyun dashes out, fumbling to tug his headphones off his phone so he can message Kyungsoo that he’s almost there, but he notices something come up beside him.

 

The tall man is walking next next to him, and he’s trying to ask Baekhyun something but the idiot is on the wrong ing side.

 

Baekhyun stops walking, THe stranger stops too. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his heart rate and finally says, in his too loud of a voice, “I’m deaf on my right side.”

 

Then he gets that look on his face. A mix of shock and apology and he steps over to Baekhyun’s otherside, and, as expected, the first words to leave his mouth are an apology which Baekhyun could care less for right now. He just wants to go home and forget any of this ever happened.

 

“I uhm...” The strangers hand reaches up nervously to rub at his neck, “I’m really sorry for not jumping in earlier back there I-”

 

“Seriously, don’t worry. That’s not the first time I’ve had something like that happen.” Baekhyun says, finally walking forward as the man walks alongside.

 

“If you want... I can walk you back home, assuming that’s where you’re going. I uh… Traffic at night can get a little scary sometimes, and if you can’t hear all that well-”

 

“It’s a deal if you don’t jump me. My voice is pretty loud ya know.” Baekhyun says, breathing in a breath of cool night air as they come up from the subway.

 

“Name’s Park Chanyeol, by the way.” The man smiles.

 

“Byun Baekhyun.”

 

The walk home felt safe. Chanyeol is nice, Baekhyun offered his number and they exchanged before Chanyeol left. Out of all the times he’s gotten scolded for ‘not listening’ by older strangers, this is one of the rare times a stranger has stepped in to help.

 

Baekhyun slumps against the door and lets out a sigh of relief as he slips off his shoes. He’s exhausted, emotionally drained-

 

“Hey,”

 

He looks up, Kyungsoo is standing in the living room, a look of concern on his face. Baekhyun straightens up, “Uh, hi.” He says, “You okay?”

 

“Me?” Kyungsoo points to himself, “What happened to your face?” He points to Baekhyun, watching his eyes grow. Kyungsoo is only going to blame himself if he tells him honestly, but what other excuse does he have?

 

“Baekhyun.”

 

. If he tells Kyungsoo, that’s only going to break him. He doesn’t want it seem like he needs Kyungsoo around him all the time, that Baekhyun is perfectly alright on his own. He can take care of himself. But the way Kyungsoo is looking at him so sincerely… It makes Baekhyun want to break down and tell him everything in detail.

 

“Sehun and I… We were messing around. His foot made direct contact with my face.” Baekhyun says with a half smile. Kyungsoo doesn’t look impressed, like he can see straight through Baekhyun’s lie, but he nods anyways.

 

“Are you hungry?” The other male changes the subject, and shuffles off into the kitchen, not even waiting for Baekhyun to respond.

 

Baekhyun blinks, walks into the house and follows Kyungsoo into the kitchen. It smells really good. Another reason to be thankful for his friend. Baekhyun would still be living off of takeout and fast food if it wasn’t for Kyungsoo.

 

“How’d things go with Sehun, by the way?” Baekhyun leans up against the counter and watches Kyungsoo, “Pretty good. I think after I fix all the current mechanical issues I’ll finally be a little closer. I’m really glad he notices the things he does.” Baekhyun says, watching Kyungsoo turn around and offer him a glass of water silently.

 

Baekhyun watches him, only taking small sips from the glass every now and then. He knows that Kyungsoo knows he’s hiding something, but there’s not a chance Baekhyun is going to tell him. Not right now, at least.

 

Kyungsoo moves around silently in the kitchen. Baekhyun keeps shifting his weight and trying to think of something to say to break the silence. It’s not the comfortable ones they usually share, this one feels different.

 

“So… Did class go alright today?” He asks quietly, watching Kyungsoo move back and forth in front of the stove.

 

“Boring.” Kyungsoo clips, “But it was alright.”

Baekhyun’s head falls, he checks his phone, does everything to try and distract himself from the weird atmosphere that’s started to rise between their shared space.

 

“Here,” Baekhyun glances up from his phone to see Kyungsoo holding a bowl out for him, already prepared with hot food for Baekhyun, “Let’s go watch something.”

 

Baekhyun has told Kyungsoo about what happened when he was a kid, how he realized he was a little different but how he didn’t let that stop him from trying to fit in and mess around and make jokes in school. He’s told Kyungsoo his struggles, he’s told him the times he’s gotten scolded and hit and slapped for being mistaken as inconsiderate when he really just couldn’t hear. He’s told Kyungsoo a lot of things about himself, and Kyungsoo has opened up a lot about his own life, too.

 

All the nights they shared sitting on the couch and playing rock, paper, scissors and everytime one of them lost, they had to tell the other a stupid fact about themselves. Kyungsoo told Baekhyun he could do a trick with his fingers and Baekhyun thought it was the absolute dumbest thing he’s ever seen, but that was the point of the game.

 

He learned that Kyungsoo’s ears get red when he gets nervous or embarrassed.

 

Kyungsoo learned that Baekhyun talks in his sleep… A lot.

 

Through the hours they spent eating ice cream on the steps of the library of their university and each of them going to shout their worries about school and the stress between working and studying and all the times Baekhyun has said he’s just going to drop out because he doesn’t need a degree to play games. He doesn’t need a degree to do a lot of things.

 

All the times Kyungsoo has stood up for Baekhyun when he was in the midst of nearly getting a hand across the back of his head. All the times Baekhyun has looked over to Kyungsoo who would crane his neck up to repeat a piece of a conversation he missed.

 

Hours upon hours that they have spent together.

 

Baekhyun is hanging onto a thread of consciousness as he lies on Kyungsoo’s lap and they watch a drama on TV.

 

He’ll end up telling Kyungsoo what happened tonight at some point. He always does. He can count on Kyungsoo like no one else. His best friend, his savior, he could even be the love of his life for all Baekhyun cares. He just hopes Kyungsoo will still be there even when Baekhyun doesn’t need him.

 

He likes playing games on the couch, and making faces, and flicking french fries at Kyungsoo.

 

He just likes being with Kyungsoo.

 

There’s a familiar weight that lands on Baekhyun’s head, then fingers start making their way through his hair. It makes him forget the scenario on the train that replays itself over and over. Baekhyun didn’t mean to. He never means to make anyone angry.

 

There’s a soft drag that trails up the side of his face, along his cheek, where he got his just a few hours earlier, then back into his hair, then Baekhyun falls asleep.

 

--- --- ---

 

When Baekhyun told Kyungsoo about what happened on the train that night, they were sitting next to each other on the steps of the flower shop. Baekhyun was on a lunch break and Kyungsoo stopped by on his way home from class with coffee. He left the shop to Jongin, his coworker, while he stepped out.

 

Kyungsoo sat quietly and sipped at his coffee while Baekhyun told him everything in detail, from start to finish. Baekhyun apologized for not telling him, that he just didn’t want to make Kyungsoo feel guilty, that he didn’t want to blow things out of proportion.

 

He’s had this happen before, it’s okay, he said.

 

“I could tell you lying. Your eyes were all glassy.” Kyungsoo glances over at Baekhyun, who has set his coffee aside and is lying back to feel the sun against his skin.

 

“I didn’t want to force it out of you though. You’re always honest even when you don’t wanna be.”  He finishes.

 

Baekhyun cracks an eye open to look at Kyungsoo, who shakes his cup to get the last remaining drops of coffee at the bottom.

 

“Thanks… I’m sorry if I made you worried.” Baekhyun closes his eyes again and turns his face back up towards the setting sun. This time of day always feels the best.

 

“You make me worried no matter what you’re doing.” Kyungsoo chuckles. Baekhyun hears him set his cup down onto the steps, the he sighs.

 

“What’s a good flower to show your frustration in someone?”

 

Baekhyun looks at Kyungsoo with a questioning look on his face. He’s silently admiring the flowers set up outside, “Yeah, I’m gonna give some to my instructor for making me want to throw myself into the Han River.”

 

Baekhyun chuckles, “Orange lilies symbolise hatred, or disdain.”

 

Kyungsoo picks up some daffodils and smells them, “You don’t sell those do you?” He says, tone almost disappointed as if he’d actually follow through with what he said.

 

“I’m sure if we sold flowers with negative symbolism we’d get a lot more business. What better way to say ‘ you’ passive-aggressively?”

 

Kyungsoo smiles into a display of daisies, “You get me.”

 

Kyungsoo sits back down next to Baekhyun, “Out of all of these, do you have a favorite?” He asks suddenly. Baekhyun glances over at him, “Hmm,” Baekhyun lets his eyes fall upon the assortment of shapes and colors and smells, then his eyes fall on Kyungsoo, “Do you count?” He smiles.

 

“No, try again.” Kyungsoo shakes his head and Baekhyun catches his ears starting to turn a light shade of pink.

 

“Hmm…” Baekhyun looks over the flowers again, “Depends. Are you asking in terms of symbolism or presentation?”

 

“Oh my god,” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and looks around, “Both.” He says after a few seconds of silence.

 

“They all have similar meanings to do with love. Whether it be at first sight or unrequited, a plea to return affection… I dunno.” Baekhyun shrugs, “I don’t really know that feeling, so I’m saying daisy because they can mean a lot of things besides love, and they’re cute.”

 

“What’s yours?” Baekhyun turns to Kyungsoo who hums quietly, “Those, whatever they are.” He points to a small display of the daffodils he picked up a few minutes ago, “They smell nice.”

 

“I literally wrote what they are on the sign. They’re daffodils, dummy.”

 

“Oh,” Kyungsoo breathes in realization, “Then what do they mean?”

 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes this time, and sits back, “New beginnings, a way of asking to return affection, respect.” Baekhyun lists it all off without a second to think about it. People ask stuff like this all the time.

 

“Do you mind wrap some up for me then, flower boy?”

 

“If you ask nicely.”

 

Kyungsoo leaves with a half dozen daffodils, wrapped by Baekhyun, as requested. Kyungsoo isn’t typically one to stop by here often, much less to get flowers, so the action was a bit endearing to Baekhyun. After all, he’s stopped by the bookstore Kyungsoo works at hundreds of times.

 

Baekhyun spends the rest of the night talking and joking with Jongin as they work through orders. Jongin stepping out occasionally to help customers that wander in, saving Baekhyun the trouble of having to make the poor people repeat themselves.

 

He gets a text from Kyungsoo before he leaves saying that he’s at a cafe nearby and that they can walk home together.

 

Baekhyun takes advantages of the nights he has, especially when he has the next day to himself. It’s constant hours of coding, programming, designing, making things work. He sits hunched in his computer chair until the sunrises and even then he doesn’t stop. He doesn’t want to stop. Even through the frustrations and errors, he has a feeling that the finished project of his game is going to be something he will always be proud of.

 

Sometimes Baekhyun gets a little carried away and ends up falling asleep at his desk, face smushed against the wood of his desk, a pencil dangling dangerously in his hand.

 

Sometimes it means Kyungsoo has to wake him up, rip off a stray drawing that got stuck to his face, and send him to sleep despite his protests.

 

But, up until recently, it’s been the opposite. Instead of Baekhyun leaving his light on at four in the morning, only a few hours before he has work, or class, it’s Kyungsoo leaving the light on in the living room and studying all night, books and all strewn across the coffee table.

 

The daffodils he bought from a week ago are sitting in the center of the table, still bright yellow and smelling as sweet as they did when he bought them. When Baekhyun shuffles out into the living room, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he finds Kyungsoo passed out on the couch. He’s laying on his stomach, head resting in his arms on top of what looks like a textbook.

 

He huffs, as he looks at all of the open notebooks and pencils and pens lying around and reaches down to push at Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

 

Of course he left his glasses on, too. Idiot.

 

Kyungsoo stirs some and groans as he turns his head, to the side, facing the living the living room. Baekhyun pushes him again, a little harder, and Kyungsoo makes some more frustrated, sleepy groans before he slowly raises his head and blinks up at Baekhyun.

 

“Wow,” Baekhyun breathes, “I can’t believe a week ago you were complaining about me staying up late.”

 

Kyungsoo groans and pushes himself up into his haunches slowly, taking his glasses off and rubbing at his eyes, not bothering to respond to Baekhyun’s sarcasm.

 

Baekhyun tries  to make use of whatever culinary knowledge he has and manages to make a simple breakfast for the two of them. Kyungsoo finally came around a little and keeps trying to throw his word in to try and keep Baekhyun from burning down their entire building.

 

They sit and talk about the projects they’ve each been working on, they watch some variety shows on TV, they spend their morning comfortably together, with Baekhyun only complaining once about Kyungsoo’s mess of school things on the table.

 

When Baekhyun is off and Kyungsoo doesn’t have class and they can lay around and drink coffee and 3 in the afternoon and talk about the instructors the like and don’t like, customers that get on their nerves, and share silence while Baekhyun sketches characters holding weapons two times their size and Kyungsoo finishes that novel he’s been reading in his downtime.

 

They forget time time exists as the sun slowly drifts across the sky and the wind and sounds of the traffic down below rise up and seep through the open window, filling their apartment with some white noise while they do their own thing. Baekhyun likes it. Even though he can’t hear it, even though he can’t hear Kyungsoo humming quietly while he scrolls through this phone, or the way the graphite in his pencil scratches across the paper of his sketchbook, he still appreciates the warmth. The feeling of it all. The domesticity. He could get used to this.

 

He could get used to keeping Kyungsoo around. He might not understand the feeling of love, maybe not the way in the same way as the characters on TV or in movies. But in a different way. Like flicking french fries across the table, or glancing over instead of having to actually say anything. A way of having someone finally understand, and not treating him like some foreign species, but also knowing when he needs help, even when Baekhyun says he can handle it.

 

He glances up at the daffodils on the coffee table. They’re waving at him, just the carnations and tulips at the shop.

 

New beginnings, he thinks.

 

Then he glances at Kyungsoo.

 

--- --- ---

 

"I don't mean this as a literal " you I hate you". I just mean this as a " you for being so cute and for somehow becoming a really important part of my life that I don’t want to live without".

I hope to God this goes through your head I don’t want to try and explain myself.

 

 

• Kyungsoo

 

 

Baekhyun reads the note over once, then again. Three times total, and then he glances back the the daisies and daffodils on his bedside table.

 

Earlier this morning, when Kyungsoo and Baekhyun walked to the flower shop together, Kyungsoo asked if it was possible to special order a “ You” bouquet, like they had discussed over a couple of weeks ago.

 

“No, unless I want to get fired.” Baekhyun laughed, slipping into the coffee shop while Kyungsoo followed behind.  

 

“. I need one.” Kyungsoo stepped up to the counter, Baekhyun stood behind him, hands resting on Kyungsoo’s shoulders as he looks over is options.

 

“You really hate your instructor that much?” He tries to keep his voice lower, almost to a whisper, but he can’t tell if he really nailed it. He doesn’t think he did, because Kyungsoo jumped when Baekhyun started speaking.

 

“No,” He shook his head, “It’s for someone else.”

 

“Huh?” Okay, too loud, but it’s partly because of shock. Baekhyun can’t think of anyone Kyungsoo truly hates.

 

“It’s for-”

 

“No, I heard you, but… Who?”

 

Kyungsoo shook his head again to dismiss the topic as someone walked up to the register for their order. Kyungsoo turned to ask what Baekhyun wanted but Baekhyun took it upon himself to order instead, jumping to say it before Kyungsoo could even ask him.

 

“Iced Americano, no cream or sugar.” He beamed.

 

“Whtsixke?”

 

“Sorry, what?” Baekhyun turns his head to hear one more time, trying to ignore the heat started  to spread across his neck.

 

“Medium, please.” Kyungsoo said, pulling his card out of his wallet and handing it over.

 

Baekhyun got no answer out of Kyungsoo about the spiteful bouquet on their way to the shop, but Jongin’s quiet demeanor and the bright bunch of daisies and daffodils should have been clear for him, but it wasn’t. All he said was, “That’s pretty.” and Jongin gave him a knowing smile and he tied them up.

 

Baekhyun looks at the flowers, and then the note, hand written by Kyungsoo, and walks out of his room to find Kyungsoo.

 

It’s a different way of showing it. But Baekhyun could definitely keep Kyungsoo around, as long as he doesn’t mind.