"Hey Baekhyun." Chanyeol called from the couch he was sitting in.
Baekhyun looked up from his phone and whipped his head towards Chanyeol, ready to listen to whatever he was about to say.
"Remember how you wanted to go on a trip throughout Europe?" Baekhyun eyes lit up at the those words.
"Yes?"
"You should go." Chanyeol didn't even spare him a glance, and it felt so off to Baekhyun. But he just shrugged off the weird feeling his lover was giving him.
"let's go! I've always wanted to go to Europe, especially with you." Baekhyun walked towards Chanyeol and sat down next him, wrapping his arms around his neck as he gives him a sweet smile.

"no. alone, without me." Chanyeol said coldly, and Baekhyun swore he could hear his hear his heart breaking a little. .


Only a week later, Baekhyun was standing in the hallway of their little apartment, clutching his suitcase in worry.
It all went so fast, as if Chanyeol wanted him out of the house as fast as possible. The same evening Chanyeol suggested the idea he was already looking up hotels and flights with him. When they packed Baekhyun's things last night, Chanyeol's pained expressions didn't go unnoticed to him. There was something wrong, terribly wrong. Baekhyun had been talking about traveling to Europe since they were in high school so he should be excited to leave for Paris today. But in his dreams, he didn't plan it like this. Chanyeol was supposed to go with him. Chanyeol was supposed to make sweet memories with him, eat delicious food with him in Italy, kiss under the Eiffel Tower with him, ride those tourist buses in London with him. How was he gonna do that when Chanyeol stayed at home, and he was all on his own? 


"you'll still be here when i come back right?" It was a stupid question. No one should ask their boyfriend if he would still be there when they come back. But Baekhyun couldn't help it. He had to calm himself down. He desperately wanted to hear Chanyeol's soothing words, shutting down his fears. But when Chanyeol gave him an answer, he wished he never asked in the first place.

"of course, you'll always have my arms to run into." His answer was perfect, normally it would make a blush creep up on his cheeks and give him butterflies in his stomach. Make him feel like the happiest person on earth. But it wasn't the answer that made him worry. It was the fact that Chanyeol couldn't even look him in the eyes while saying it.

Liar.

Baekhyun took a deep breath and smiled at him as Chanyeol returned it with a weak smile.

"enjoy yourself Baekhyun, it's what you deserve." Were the last words he heard from his sweet lover before he turned around and walked away.



Chanyeol closed the door and slid down against it until he was sitting on the cold wooden floor. His legs had given out due to the pain he was feeling in his chest. His heart was mad at him, telling him he was making the wrong choice. It was thumping loudly in his ribcage, feeling like it could jump out any second. Wanting to run back to Baekhyun, the boy who owned it in the first place.
He would never see his beautiful boyfriend again after this.
His plan had worked, sending Baekhyun away for a month, so he could pack all his things and disappear out of his life forever. But it felt wrong, so wrong. It might sound cruel, but it was the easiest option for him. Because he could never say goodbye to Baekhyun in his face and break things off. Never in his life would he be able to live with the broken look on Baekhyun's face. He was sure it would haunt him for the rest of his life.
Saying Chanyeol loves Baekhyun would be an understatement, Baekhyun was simply his everything. Baehyun was his best friend, his lover, his shoulder to cry on, his soft plushie to cuddle with at night,...

Chanyeol would have sacrificed everything for Baekhyun a couple months ago, but now, he didn't feel the same anymore.


Chanyeol looked around, not even being able to identify which items were his since they bought almost everything together. They had moved in here 6 years ago when both of them went to university. Deciding to live together wasn't weird at all to them since they had been friends since high school.
Chanyeol met Baekhyun when they were both just seventeen. From the moment he laid his eyes on the charming boy he know he was a goner, and what started out as a friendship soon blossomed into a relationship that they both cherished so much. Their parents were against it first. Living together was a really big step into their relationship and they were only 19 after all. But when they both explained that it would be the same as living in a dorm and that they would pay for mostly everything their parents gave in. They both thanked themself for working part time jobs in highschool and saving up for this moment so they didn't have to worry about money too much. Chanyeol unfolded the boxes and placed them in the middle of the livingroom. He had a lot of time to pack but for some reason he just wanted to get over with it and leave already. Every second he stayed here troubled him. But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't do it. "stupid Baekhyun" Chanyeol kicked one of the boxes with his left foot away in anger. "even when you're gone you're causing me trouble."


A week without Baekhyun had passed already. Chanyeol had been so caught up in work he didn't even realise time had went by that fast. Packing didn't quite work out either. He had put away some of his jeans and sweaters but that was it. The morning sun was shining through their window blinding his vision as he sat up straight and blinked to get the sleep out his eyes. Chanyeol rolled out of bed and strided towards the kitchen while holding his head in his hands. His head was throbbing from working late yesterday and he knew not even medicines could soothe the pain he was feeling. He made himself some coffee and walked towards his mailbox to check if there were any newspapers to read. What he didn't expect though was a small little postcard laying at the bottom.


                                                                                       

 to: My Love

Hi Chanyeol!

I safely arrived in Paris after the horrible lonely plane ride.
My hotel is beautiful, I just stood on the balcony and the view is breathtaking.
When I checked in I saw there was a double bed and it made my heart ache a little.
Imagine us sleeping here together in Paris, admiring the night sky from our bed while you sing me to sleep.
To be honest, I'm a bit scared to be here alone. I didn't tell you so I wouldn't worry you, but I guess I'll survive.
I already miss you, B

Chanyeol traced his finger over the letter, flipping it to the front again where a picture of the Louvre was printed on. He hated the postcard, wished he hadn't noticed it in the first place. He never knew his habit of checking the mail every day was going to harm him this much. Just when he was about to leave Baekhyun had to do this to him.
Had to get in his head and mess with his brain again.

Their first kiss might not sound special to others, but to them it was the most magical moment of their life. it was the first day of springbreak and Chanyeol was sitting under a cherry blossom tree with Baekhyun between his legs. Chanyeol had to write a song for their music class and had been working on it non stop. Other students just scrabbled something down and called it a day. But chanyeol was pretty serious about this assignment. Yes, the fact that music was his passion had something to do with it. But the boy who was nibbling on a strawberry right in front of him played a bigger role in this. From the second he had heard they had to write a song the idea of writing one for Baekhyun popped up in his head and never left. His mind went crazy from all the ideas he was getting and in the end he had settled for a sweet love song. Nothing sad or tragic. The love they shared between each other was nothing like that. Chanyeol was sick of all those depressing love songs about breaking up and losing each other.

"Not every couple ends up parting ways." Chanyeol thought to himself. He and Baekhyun were gonna stay together for an enternity, he just knew it. His love for Baekhyun woud go on until the day he dies.
"can i see what you're working on now?" Baekhyun turned around and stared up at him. His lips coloured a soft pink due to the strawberries he had been eating earlier. " it's a secret, i promise i'll show you soon." Chanyeol stated and watched Baekhyun's lips turning into a pout. The answer didn't satisfy him and only made him more curious. Baekhyun had been missing Chanyeol so much the last few days since Chanyeol had locked himself up in his room working on this assignment. "just show me already!" Baekhyun whined and nudged Chanyeol on the chest with his elbow. "are you writing a poem for meeee?." Baekhyun's hand crept towards his notebook trying to snatch it out of his hand, but before he could Chanyeol retracted his arm causing Baekhyun to fall on top of him. The two suddenly found each other in a intimate position that they didn't mind. They were used to being close to each other, sharing body heat here and there in the winter became a habit that never left. But this was something else. Baekhyun was practically laying on top of Chanyeol with their faces only an inch apart from each other. Baekhyun felt Chanyeol's breath on his cheek. "If you keep asking me i'll have to shut you up in one way or another Baek." Chanyeol moved his head up making the tips of their noses touch. "i dare you." Baekhyun said in a teasing tone but before he could let out a laugh his lips were sealed by the boy under him. It was a sweet short kiss, nothing more nothing less. But the feeling it gave him was something he had never experienced before. His body was on fire, his fingers were tingling and the butterflies in his stomach were going crazy. It was that moment Chanyeol and Baekhyun both realised they were in love with each other. And that that kiss wouldn't be their last.


 

To: My Love

Hi Chanyeol!
i just arrived in Germany and took so many pictures that i can't wait to show you.
I met a puppy on my way to a cafe and it reminded me of you.                                                                                                                                    Remember when you once tripped over a stone and fell on your face?
the puppy did the exact same thing!!
I must admit you're cuter tho. I can't help it, you're the only one in my heart.                 
When i get home we could adopt a puppy, you always wanted one right? I love and miss you.

Ps: Are my text messages coming through? Because you're not answering them.
Please let me know, B

My phone isn't broken you stupid Baekhyun.

Chanyeol thought and ran his fingers through his hair. These postcards were killing him. Baekhyun sounded so in love with him it made Chanyeol go crazy. He was gonna leave Baekhyun while the boy was still completely in love with him. He wasn't just gonna break his heart, he was gonna break his soul too. He was going to leave a scar on Baekhyun's heart that would never heal.

"i'm sorry for falling out of love with you." Chanyeol whispered.

He felt a tear rolling down his cheek as he flipped the postcard and saw a cute corgi puppy photo printed on the front. Chanyeol had always wanted a puppy, but whenever he brought up the idea Baekhyun would tell him they were too busy to raise one. That they would get one in the future when they were ready. Chanyeol grew tired of asking and just settled with the fact that he would never get a fluffly dog in his life.
But now Baekhyun was ready? When it was too late?


The next days were spent sleeping in his cold bed with no one filling up the space next to him. Waking up drinking coffee at the table with no one to speak to. Everything happened in silence. No laughter filled the room when he came out of the bathroom with his shirt on backwards. No one called out his name when he left the apartment forgetting his jacket. Chanyeol had been wishing for silence, for distance. But now that he got it, he didn't know if he actually enjoyed it. If he was being honest if more felt like a curse than a blessing. Chanyeol had always been surrounded by people in his life. When he was a kid he had his sister and his parents around him all the time. When he entered highschool he made a dozen of friends who made sure he never slept alone. And from the moment he met Baekhyun he had never left his side. So now he was seeking for freedom, space. He wanted to be able to breathe for once. But this felt more like drowning. He felt like he was suffocating without Baekhyun, like the boy was his oxygen.

 

To: My Love

hi Chanyeol,
Is your phone broken? I'm kind of getting worried about you, are you doing well?
I'm in Italy now. But i can't help but think about you.
Should i call your parents? Seriously Yeol i don't know what i would do if something happens to you.
Please talk to me, B
 

He remembers the night they first made love so vividly. Those soft feathery touches are burned into his skin as a memory that he will never forget. The kisses Baekhyun left behind on his neck are printed on his body. He held Baekhyun so thight that night, scared the boy would slip out of his hold any second. But he didnt. Baekhyun stayed right by his side and never left. He remembers kissing the top of his head while whispering "i love you." for the first time. The moon light that was shining through their window made Baekhyun look like an angel. The whole scene didn't feel real to him, but then Baekhyun digged his fingernails in his back as he ed upwards and yes, this was definitly reality. They both ended up with their legs tangled together under the covers as Chanyeol traced the word 'love' on Baekhyun's back. Call him cheesy, he doesn't care. Chanyeol felt so in love back then. His head filled with Baekhyun, his heart full with Baekhyun. He wanted Baekhyun everywhere, he could never get enough of the boy.

Crazy how things can turn around so fast.


 

To: My Love

Chanyeol,
I called your parents and they said they are gonna help you move some stuff this week?
What does this mean Chanyeol. Are you getting rid of some stuff without asking me?
I swear if you get rid of our red couch im going to beat your .
You're not...moving out right?
Sorry for saying that.                                           
My mind is just going crazy from not talking to you for weeks.
I want to be with you so bad. I'm coming back soon okay?
Wait for me, B
 

It was a week after they moved in that they realised they didn't buy a couch yet. Chanyeol hopped in the car with Baekhyun as they speeded off to a thrift store 30 minutes away from them. Music was blasting loudly through the radio and the wind brushing Chanyeol's hair out of his face felt so refreshing. Chanyeol thought that moving in with Baekhyun was one of the best decisions he had ever made. Being able to see his lover's face 24/7 was a dream coming true.

After looking around in the store for half an hour the couple had started to give up. Nothing sparked their interest. Or the couches were too big. Or they were too expensive, too old, too brown, too yellow, too smelly. But then their eyes fell on a bright red couch standing at the back of the store and they both ran towards it as if they had planned it. The material was soft as they both sank down in it, feeling so comfortable and so content. Chanyeol layed his head down on the armrest and let out a long sigh. "great things are gonna happen on this couch Baekhyun." Chanyeol said and looked up at his lover chuckling at his remark.

And indeed a lot of things happened on that bright red couch.
Baekhyun announced he got his first job on the couch on a cold winter night. He had caught a cold but despite that he still went to his job interview, eager to make Chanyeol proud.
They had their first big fight on the couch over money. Chanyeol just got fired from his job and Baekhyun couldn't afford the rent on his own anymore. Chanyeol just wanted support from Baekhyun, but all he got was scoff as he watched him walk away to the bedroom.
It was on that exact couch that Chanyeol realised Baekhyun didn't make him smile like he used to anymore. That their conversations weren't the same anymore. They only talked about money these days. Who was gonna pay what. It angered him so much. All he wanted was to go back to the day they bought the hidious furniture, when everything seemed like a fairytail.
It was on the bright red couch that Chanyeol had sent Baekhyun away, so he never had to face him anymore.

 

 To: My Love

I'm coming home.
I've been trying to wrap my head around what the hell you are up to but i just can't find a reason for your actions.
I've called you a million times Chanyeol, are you ignoring me?
I know things haven't been the best between us lately, but every couple goes through that.
I'll be better to you, i'll love you more.
Just please, please. Don't give up on us, B
 

Chanyeol placed the postcard on the kitchen counter while muttering a quiet "i'm sorry."
And he was. He was sorry for wasting the boy's time when in the end he was going to leave him.
All those years together, for nothing.
Baekhyun could have been married by now if he didn't meet Chanyeol. Could have travelled the world with someone who enjoyed exploring places as much as he does. He regretted being so selfish, wanting Baekhyun all for himself 6 years ago. If only he studied for that stupid test. Then he wouldn't have asked for the boy's notes in math class. He wouldn't have noticed those beautiful eyes staring up at him as if they were admiring a painting in a gallery. He wouldn't have embraced Baekhyun in a tight hug after passing that test, feeling their heartbeats becoming one right there on the spot. But he did, and he felt so stupid.

Chanyeol handed his dad the last box that was standing in their livingroom.
"Is that it?" His dad asked and Chanyeol nodded.
"i'm coming in a second." He shouted after his dad and heard a faint "okay" echoing through the hallway.

Their apartment was as empty az the first day the couple had entered it. But at least back then he had Baekhyun by his side. Now it felt even emptier. all the warm traces Baekhyun left behind were gone and the place turned into a cold and horrible memory to Chanyeol. It felt like someone shot a bullet through his heart when he realised these were gonna be the last couple of seconds of being in this apartment, the place he once called home. He checked every room, making sure he collected everything that belonged to him. Only Baekhyun's stuff remained, Chanyeol had removed all of his traces. Truly dissapearing from Baekhyun's life as if he was never in it.
His fingers traced over the kitchen counter, falling on the chairs and the table they used to eat at.
"Please eat well even when i'm gone Baekhyunnie."
Chanyeol said out loud and made his way out. As he heard the soft click of the front door closing behind him he also felt his heart closing. This chapter of his life had ended and Baekhyun would become a painful memory that would haunt him for the rest of his life. But it was over now, he could finally find peace.
He walked past their mailbox missing the little post card sticking out of it, screaming to be noticed.
But chanyeol didn't, and joined his parents in their car to drive away from here.

 

To: My Love

Dear Chanyeol,

When did you fall out of love with me?

                                            B.