(Listen to "Truth Untold" while reading.)

“Are you sure you won’t get caught being on a date with me?” Soomin questioned. I looked at her with a confident smile, “We will be fine, trust me,” I told her. She sighed leaving a slight smile on her face. I held her hands tightly in my hands. She squeezed back and came forward to peck a small kiss on my lips.

 

“What was that for?”

“Just to let you know how I much I love you.”

 

I chuckled and took a spoonful of my food. When we finished eating, we stepped out of the restaurant and held hands together. I looked at her admiring how beautiful she looked from the side. Her hair was flowing with the cool breeze revealing her beautiful smile. As she turned to look at me, she blushed as she realized I was staring at her.

 

“Can you not stare at me like that please?” I laughed. “Why can’t I look at my pretty girlfriend?” She blushed again. She playfully hit my arm and I ached in pain. She got worried and stopped in our footsteps.

 

“Oh my! Are you okay? I don’t think I hit you that hard.”

“You did. I probably have a big bruise now because of you. Why are you so strong?”

 

I said holding onto my arm and trying so hard to hold in my laughter. She looked at me with a worried look and when I realized she wasn’t taking it as a joke. I straightened up and cleared my throat while she was staring at me. That’s when she realized I was joking around with her. She crossed her arms across her chest and turned away from me.

 

“Soomin-ah, look at me.” I said. But she wouldn’t turn around. I laughed softly. I hugged her from the back, “Are you that upset with me?” But there was no response from her. I hugged her tighter but she didn’t say anything and so I went in front of her face.

 

“Soomin-ah, are you really that mad? I’m sorry.”

She was moving at all. She didn’t even look at me in the eyes. I sighed and decided I had to do something to make her laugh again. “Wait here, I’ll be back.” And I ran to a nearby ice cream shop to get an ice cream.

 

When I came back, she was sitting at the curb. I sat next to her and put the ice cream cone in front of her hoping she would grab it, but she didn’t. I looked at her and she looked sad. An emotion I’ve never seen from her before. I know she gets sad and mad, but this expression was different from those.

 

“What’s wrong? Tell me.” I said.

 

“Can you be honest with me, Taehyung?”

“Of course. I’ll always be honest with you.”

 

Tears ran down her cheeks and dropped onto the dry pavement of the street. She sniffed and inhaled and then exhaled. She reached for my hand and held it tightly in hers. Soomin smiled a little and chuckled.

 

“The you, you’ve been showing me all this time- is it the real Kim Taehyung?”

 

I was shocked to hear those words come out of her lips. I swallowed and got worried. Did she find out I wasn’t being my true self around her? Did she realize I wasn’t be honest with myself and with her? I sighed and gave her a small smile.

 

“Soomin-”

“It’s okay. You can be honest with me. I just want the truth.”

 

How can I tell her honestly without hurting her? The last thing that I want to do is hurt her. And I didn’t want to see her get hurt especially by me, her boyfriend. I looked into her eyes trying to read her mind. She was hurt already. It’s like she knew what I was hiding. She knew I was hiding from her.

 

“Maybe it’s too sudden, right? You can tell me another time. For now, let’s just cherish our moments together for now, yea?”

 

I nodded, “I agree,” and we got up. She reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. I looked at her who didn’t bother to look back at me.

 

A few weeks later, I didn’t dare to contact Soomin. I didn’t want to continue to lie to her more than I already am. I’m only going to hurt her more than I already have. If I contact her, lies will continue to spill out. I stared at my phone for so long deciding if I should call her. If she picks up, what am I supposed to say? She wouldn’t want to hear words like ‘I love you’ or ‘ I miss you’ right now.

 

I sighed and softly tossed my phone to the side of me. I groaned in frustration and ran my fingers through my hair. At that moment, my phone rang. I looked at the ID and it was Soomin calling. Her picture shows up and it’s a photo of her smiling right at me. I sighed and picked up acting as if nothing was wrong.

 

“Hey, Soomin.” I said as happily as I could. “Taehyung, what are you doing right now?”

 

“I’m not doing anything. Did you have something in mind?”

“I actually do! How did you know?”

 

I laughed softly, “I know you always do. So, tell me what’s your plan.” She sighed, “Do you remember where and when we first met?” I thought about it for awhile and of course I remember. We met two years ago at the flower garden. I smiled and opened my lips.

 

“Of course. How can I forget such a beautiful day?”

“Can you meet me there at two in the afternoon?”

“Yes, I can. I’ll pick you up at one thirty then.”

“Mm, no, you don’t have to. I’ll take a taxi there.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you at two then.”

“Okay, bye.”

 

After getting off the phone, I went into my bedroom to get dressed. I put on a nice collared shirt, a gray cardigan, and black pants with tennis shoes. I walked out of my house and got into my car to drive off. I got to the garden within ten minutes despite the traffic on the streets. I parked and went to find the water fountain where we first bumped into each other.

 

As I arrived at the fountain, there wasn’t anyone around. It was empty. I walked toward the fountain and admired it for awhile. Soomin didn’t arrive yet and so I sat at the edge of the fountain looking at my phone. I texted her I was already here and she responded she’ll be here in two minutes.

 

Soomin’s POV

 

I told him I’ll be there in two minutes but the truth was I was there by one twenty already. As I was waiting for him to arrive, I decided to hide until he arrived. He arrived right at two on the dot. But I didn’t want to show my appearance right away just yet. I sighed and continued to watch him from a distance with a heavy heart.

 

I turned around and walked back to my best friend’s brother and said, “Are you ready?”

 

“Are you sure you want to do this, Soomin?”

 

I sighed, “Yes, Hyunjae. There’s no turning back now.” I told him. “Think about it though. Who will get more hurt after this? You or him?”

 

Hyunjae made a good point. I didn’t think about that. Honestly, I would probably get more hurt by doing this more than Taehyung getting hurt. I smiled at Hyunjae, “Please stop asking questions. Let’s just get this over with. I’m doing this for him, not for me.”  Hyunjae said, “Okay. Let’s get going.”

 

Taehyung’s POV

 

As I looked up, I saw her walking toward me but she wasn’t alone. There was a guy who was with her. They were walking toward me together...hand in hand. Why did my heart start to hurt all of a sudden? As they got closer, they stopped in their footsteps. I smiled at Soomin and she smiled back at me.

 

“Soomin, what do you have plans for us today?”

 

She looked up at me while squinting her eyes, “Actually, there’s something I need to tell you,” she started speaking. I smiled and nodded for her to go on. She looked at the man besides her and took his hands into hers. Soomin then looked at me after looking at the man besides her.

 

“The truth is Taehyung-” she stopped. The man besides her stops her, “Soomin, can we talk again real quick?”  He pulled her to the side where I can’t hear their conversation. After they finished, they came back and she looked nervous than she did a few minutes ago.

 

“Taehyung,” she started. I looked at her patiently hearing what she needed to say.

 

“I can’t do this anymore. What I mean by that is seeing you suffer because of me. Suffering to hide yourself from me, from your fans, and most importantly from yourself. You can’t continue to lie to yourself, to me, to your friends and family. I can’t stand by your side seeing you suffer from who you really are deep inside. You used to be so opened, confident, raw, real, but the last year we’ve been together, you’ve been hiding your true self. I know you’re afraid to show the whole world the real you, afraid that everyone will judge you and leave you behind for knowing the real you. But Taehyung, how can you expect everyone you love to stand there and watch you suffer? I’m not saying I don’t love you; I love you so much. I just can’t bare to see you hide the real you inside. I want you to be confident, to be carefree and not care what others will think of you.”

 

She stopped to take a break and started speaking again.

 

“Taehyung, I love you, I do so much. But I’m going to let us go until you find yourself. I want you to take time for yourself and find you again. Not the you who everyone wants you to be, but the you who YOU want to be. And when you do find your real, true self again, you can come back to me. I won’t be going anywhere. I’ll be waiting here for you. I’ll be here to hold you in my arms again. I want you to be genuinely happy. Genuinely happy about who you are deep down inside. When you find that part within yourself again, I’ll be by your side again. I don’t want to lose the real you and I don’t want you to lose your real identity either.”

 

Tears began falling down her cheeks and my tears ran down my cheeks as well. She always knew the right words to say when I couldn’t. She stepped forward and pulled me into a tight hug. We stood like that for awhile until she broke the hug. She held my face in both of her palms and looked deeply into my eyes without saying anything.

 

“But how do I know where to find you?” I said with tears flowing down. She smiled still holding my face in her palms, “I’ll be right here in this garden when you’re ready to come find me. I won’t be going anywhere, I promise you Kim Taehyung.”

 

I nodded and held her hands tightly, “Now, go,” she said softly.

 

“Go explore, go find yourself. Go find peace within yourself. Find happiness for yourself and then come find me. I won’t be going anywhere far.” She said with tears flowing down her cheeks with a sweet smile on her face. I slowly turned around walking toward the exit of the garden with tears flowing down my cheeks knowing she’ll be there when I come back.