Being gay in South Korea wasn't easy. Being openly lesbian was even worse. But even more so was being openly lesbian and the leader of one of the most popular girl groups in Korea.

Granted, it wasn't until less than a year before 2NE1’s disbandment that Chaerin came out as lesbian to the rest of the world. Still, the reaction from the public wasn't exactly the best. International fans went berserk and most were insanely supportive. Those were the comments Chaerin loved to see. However, the people of her home country weren't exactly the kindest. The homophobic slurs thrown at Chaerin constantly over social media were enough to tear down her self-esteem, despite being able to keep a strong external image. She had to, after all.

The only person who could make her feel better about herself was none other than her bandmate, Sandara. For years, fans had shipped them together, dubbing them Chaera, and always finding evidence that their relationship was more than just friendly. The two idols always laughed at how indiscreet they really were, but it was fun to drop hints occasionally for the fans.

“You were way too obvious in those award shows, Chae.”

Yes, for most of their time as 2NE1, Chaerin and Sandara had been together as a couple. They had to stay hidden for years, because of the rampant homophobia around them and also because of the infamous YG dating ban. Bom and Minzy found out eventually, coming to accept it after a few weeks of awkward interactions, but other than that, nobody else knew.

“I know that the church tells you this is wrong, but we still love and care about you guys all the same. Can you let us love each other, too?”

Minzy leaving the group was the first blow to Chaerin's fragile walls. She knew that Minzy had been planning to leave for quite a while, and that she wanted to pursue her own solo career. Chaerin was sad, yes, but she couldn't have been more proud of their maknae, as she told Minzy many times as she held her in a hug on the day she moved out. She had always felt like an older sister, or even a mother to the youngest member. Now that Minzy was growing as an artist on her own, 2NE1 would slowly crumble.

“Minzy, you're going to do amazing things. You've grown into such a beautiful woman, inside and out.”

Bom's drug scandal didn't help either. The night that the story had surfaced in 2014, all three of the girls kept Bom in a group hug as she cried. They all knew she suffered from anxiety, and that the medication she took was a prescription from the States, but that wasn't enough to keep the netizens from attacking Bom to pieces. The girls never questioned her, they just helped her through the moments when she would feel as if she couldn't breathe because of unwelcome memories. She really needed that comfort the day YG announced why 2NE1 had disbanded. Those two incidents were the next blows to Chaerin.

“Bom did nothing wrong, why are so many people attacking her?”

Years come and go. Dara remains the most active out of all the former 2NE1 members, acting in variety shows, television programs, and even landing a lead role in a feature-length comedy film. All of the girls congratulated Dara for that great achievement. Chaerin swelled with pride for her girlfriend, and she couldn't stop gushing over how wonderful she was when she had gotten the role.

“I'm so proud of you! I told you you could do it, ma chérie.”

Of course, Chaerin wished that she could debut as a solo artist, but YG holding her back was causing frustration. She had written, produced, and recorded over two hundred songs, and they would probably never see the light. The nights that Chaerin came home and immediately poured herself a glass of soju were the nights that Dara knew Chaerin needed comfort and reassurance the most. Dara was always happy to give it to her favorite person in the entire world.

“You have so many people waiting for you because they love you, Chae.”

Chaerin made sure that her contract was not renewed with YG when it ended, and moved to another agency that actually treated her right and allowed her to finally debut as a solo artist. Both Bom and Minzy congratulated her online as well as in-person, but nobody gave her more praise than her precious Dara.

“I told you that they would still be here for you! Your GZBs won't ever leave your side.”

Chaerin truly had all she wanted. She still had her family, both her blood family and her 2NE1 sisters, she had her GZBs, and most importantly, she had Dara. She had her amazing girlfriend who was always there for her when she needed her the most. Chaerin didn’t know what she would do without Dara. For eight years she had been Chaerin’s support system - someone she could count on, someone who was always willing to lend her a shoulder to cry on. Someone who never failed to make her smile. Bom had once said that Dara could make Chaerin laugh like nobody else could. It was true.

Their schedules were busy, of course, but in the past few weeks they had both started to clear them up more and more. They weren’t leaving their careers in the idol scene, they were just taking hiatuses so they could focus on themselves. A few months after 2NE1 disbanded, the two bought themselves a house outside of Seoul, just far enough away from the excess attention. It had felt like home in the three years following the disbandment.

Dara yawns as she pushes the front door open, pocketing her keys as she glances to the living room. Chaerin was laying on the couch watching a movie, seeming intrigued. She sits up as she hears the door open, a smile breaking on her face when she sees Dara. “You’re home,” she greets, watching as Dara sets her bag on the dining room table then comes and sits by Chaerin, leaning into her embrace. “How are you?” Chaerin asks, her voice soft.

“Tired,” Dara responds, laughing a bit. “Very tired.” She pushes herself up and faces Chaerin, planting a quick kiss to her lips before moving to stand up again. “I’m gonna go shower.”

Chaerin wraps her arms around Dara’s waist and pulls her back down, eliciting a small yelp from the older woman. “No, lay with me for a bit,” Chaerin whines, pressing her lips to Dara’s jaw. “You’ve been gone all day.”

Dara grins and angles her chin up to expose more of her neck to Chaerin out of habit. “I know, but I feel gross.” She says, smiling.

“Please?” Chaerin chimes, laughing softly as Dara turns around to face her, sitting on her lap.

“Hm~ fine.” Dara says, feigning hesitation as she drapes her arms around Chaerin’s neck and rests her head against Chaerin’s shoulder. “It’s so nice to be home. I’m free for the next few days.”

Chaerin pulls her close, keeping her arms wrapped around Dara's waist. “It’s about time. We’ll get to spend some time together.” She says.

“Finally,” Dara murmurs. “It seems like it’s been forever since neither of us had nothing to do.”

Chaerin smiles and nods, pushing stray strands of hair behind Dara’s ear. She remains silent for a moment, holding her girlfriend close as the movie continues to play on in the background. “Hey,” she says after a few moments, causing Dara to look back up at her with a questioning hum. “There’s something I want to run by you.”

“What is it?” Dara asks, moving off of Chaerin’s lap and sitting beside her as Chaerin lifts her off gently. She gives the younger woman a curious gaze as Chaerin readjusts herself to face Dara.

Chaerin reaches for her hands, intertwining their fingers together. After a few moments, she sighs and smiles. “I want to go public. If you want to.”

Dara blinks, processing what Chaerin had said for a moment as her eyebrows furrow in thought. “Chae, are you sure?” She asks, gripping her hands. “The things people said to you when you came out were… horrible.”

“I know,” Chaerin says, glancing down for a moment. “But it’s been long enough, hasn’t it? Hiding away from the world?”

Dara bites her lip as she thinks before sighing. “I would love to stop hiding… but I don’t want it to hurt our careers.” She says.

“There will always be the intolerant people,” Chaerin says, letting go of one of her hands and lifting up Dara’s chin so she would look at her. “But the real people will stick around. It might be bad for a while… but it will pass.” She says, then smiles. “Besides, people are already suspicious about us. They have been for years.”

Dara can’t help but laugh a bit. Even to this day, they were still paired together. “You’re right…” She mutters, pulling all of her hair behind her shoulders. “If… if that’s what you want,” Dara starts. “Then we can.”

Chaerin seems taken aback for a moment, surprised by Dara's agreement, then smiles. “Are you sure?” She asks, confirming more for her sake than Dara’s. When the older woman nods, Chaerin pulls her into a tight embrace. “Thank you.”

Dara smiles, running her fingers through Chaerin’s hair. “I love you,” she murmurs, lips close to Chaerin’s ear.

Chaerin lifts her head up and presses her lips to Dara’s. She returns the kiss, keeping her fingers tangled in Chaerin’s hair. The two move closer to each other, their bodies pressing together. “Marry me.” Chaerin mutters, pulling away for a second as she meets Dara’s wide eyes.

Before Dara can form a word from her stuttering, Chaerin presses another kiss to her lips before saying, “I mean it. I love you more than anything. There’s nothing I want more than to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Tears form in Dara’s eyes as the implication of Chaerin’s words finally hits her. Marry her? It had always seemed like a dream, a fantasy. With their lives and careers, Dara wouldn’t have ever thought marriage possible. Managing to grin despite the tears beginning to drop down her cheeks, Dara nods. “Yes,” she says, her voice wavering. “I will.”

Chaerin pulls her close, embracing her now fiancée close to her as if she were going to disappear at any moment. “I love you,” she says again, repeating it until Dara kissed her again to shut her up.

“I love you too,” Dara says, smile remaining on her face as Chaerin wipes remnants of tears away with her thumbs. A smirk grows on Dara's face. “Now come shower with me.”

~*~

The next few days seem to go by in a blur. Both of them brought up to their managers going public, and it was a fight to get them to agree. Eventually, Dara won for the both of them with her negotiation skills. She had always been good at persuasion. The morning after she proposed, Chaerin presented the ring to Dara properly, renewing all of the emotions from the night before.

“Is this how we're going to tell everyone?” Dara questions as the two work on making a late breakfast together.

“Hm?” Chaerin hums in question, glancing back over her shoulder at her fiancée as she mixes the soup on the pot.

Dara smiles. “We're engaged now,” she says, setting the timer on the rice cooker before making her way to Chaerin's side. “We can use that to go public. People love engagement announcements.”

Chaerin places the lid on the pot as she turns to face Dara, the corners of her lips upturned. “I think it's perfect.” She says, planting a kiss on Dara's cheek. “When do you want to do it?”

Dara shrugs. “Sooner than later, maybe…” She says, then glances towards the timers they'd set. “We have the time now.”

Chaerin follows her gaze, taking note of the fifteen minutes they had until the food was ready. “Are you sure?” She asks.

“Yes, Chae,” Dara laughs, nodding. “Should we go live or just post something?”

Chaerin grins. “Why not both?”

With that, a few minutes later they were sitting at the counter together, Chaerin's phone out and ready to start an Instagram livestream. “Are you ready?” She asks Dara, smiling when she receives a nod. Chaerin leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead. “Whatever people say, know that they don't have a say in how they live.”

Dara nods once more. “Ignore them.” She says, then suddenly leans over to tap the 'start’ button.

The stream opens up to Chaerin's protests of “I wasn't ready!” and Dara's laughter. Chaerin playfully smacks her shoulder and shushes her as she keeps Dara hidden from the camera's view for a moment. “Hey GZBs!” She greets in English, watching as the viewer count climbs and the chat begins to speed up. “I know, I didn't announce this stream in advance or anything, but I have a very special someone here with me for an announcement.” She says, keeping the camera on her for a moment as she scans the chat. A few people were predicting right, but most of the guesses were off. “For everyone who guessed…” She turns the camera to landscape mode and pulls Dara into view, “Sandara Park, you're right! Say hi, Dara.”

Dara waves at the camera, grinning. “Hello everyone,” she greets in English, her Filipino accent strong. “What else should I say?” She says to Chaerin, slipping back into Korean.

Chaerin laughs, responding back in Korean, “Do you want to tell them, or should I?”

“You do it,” Dara responds, keeping her hands clasped in her lap, out of the camera's sight.

Chaerin nods, then turns back to the camera and slips back into English. “Well… you guys may hate us for keeping this secret for so long.” She starts out, keeping her eye on the chat. It was going so fast, so she wasn't sure if she was just imagining it, but someone pointed out Dara's ring. “As many of you know, I'm a lesbian. But what you don't know is that I've been in a relationship for the past eight years. Or, maybe you have.” She teases, reaching down and gripping Dara's left hand as the chat begins to catch on.

Lifting up their entwined hands, Chaerin exposes Dara's ring, making the older woman laugh and cover her face with her free hand to hide her growing blush.

The chat explodes as Chaerin continues. “Since 2011, I have been in a relationship with Sandara Park, and in a few months, she will be my wife.” She says, unable to hold back her wide smile at the chat. Most everything was supportive (some were even typing in all caps that they had known Chaera was real all along), but the chat was moving so fast that it was hard to really tell if there were any negative comments.

“You're embarrassing!” Dara jokes slowly in English, laughing as she too watches the chat and lays her head against Chaerin's shoulder. “You made that so long,” she chimes.

Chaerin grins as she puts her free arm around Dara's shoulders. One comment in the chat that goes by in just a flash catches her eye:

@blackjacks.are.eternal: PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN SMFKSLCKEKSKAK

The younger woman repeats the comment out loud as she looks down to see Dara's reaction. They both share the same amount of amusement as Chaerin moves forward and kisses Dara, making sure that it was fully visible to the camera.

Pulling away, Chaerin leans back in towards the camera as she finishes. “With that being said, you'll probably hear less of us for the next few months. Now if you don't mind, we have breakfast to eat. We love you guys, goodbye!” Both of the females wave at the camera, and Dara squeezes in a blown kiss towards the camera as Chaerin ends the livestream.

“That went a lot better than I expected,” Dara says, turning back to Chaerin as the younger opens up the camera app.

“I told you,” Chaerin says, a smile on her face. “International fans are pretty supportive. Here, take a picture to post.” She says, taking Dara's left hand in her own to show off both of their rings. Both get the pictures they need, then make a post to their own Instagram accounts. Chaerin, true to her nature, makes her message short and sweet, but when she sees Dara's long and sentimental caption later on that day, she feels a pang in her chest that reassures her this isn’t fantasy.

As you all know, I don't share much of my personal life online with you guys. Of course there are some bits I share, but bigger parts I keep hidden. However today is the day that I take a big step in showing you all more of who Sandara Park is.

I am biual, and I have been in a relationship with a woman for the past eight years. Because of this wonderful woman, I have been happier than ever before. She makes me feel as if life really has a purpose, and like I do truly have a place here. Lee Chaerin makes me feel as though I belong. Now, after eight years of dating, I will be marrying her.

Chaerin, I love you with everything I am. I am overjoyed to have the honor of calling you mine. Please take care of me.

I love all of you reading this message, and I hope you will accept me as I am. 💕

~ Dara