Trigger warning : Mention of suicide

Another call has been ringing but instead of hanging it up, Song Mino just switches the phone to silent mode.

He puts the phone on the bedside table and packs his luggage with stuff he thinks he might need.

Seungyoon’s name’s blinking on the screen for several seconds more before it turns to black.

Seungyoon has been calling him relentlessly for probably hundreds of time within the past week. He can just block his number or even switch the sim but he doesn’t have the heart to do so. And maybe deep down, he’s also finding comfort in seeing Seungyoon’s name on his phone.

That means he’s there waiting for him.

He knows it’s selfish of him to want Seungyoon to wait for him when he can’t return to his side and when he knows he must stay away from him.

While he was at the hospital waiting for Seungyoon to regain consciousness, the doctors explained the possible reason of his episode. Because of what happened back then there, it seems like Seungyoon forced himself to forget everything concerned with the foster home as part of his coping mechanism. He should have realized something was wrong when Seungyoon couldn’t remember anything about him. And he should have stopped there and then.

It’s his selfishness and ego that hurts Seungyoon. He shouldn’t have wanted to make Seungyoon remember anything.

Mino puts the final piece of item into the bag and looks around the room, to see if he’s missing out to bring something. Most important thing is for him to leave as quickly as possible. He heard from Seunghoon that Seungyoon’s been discharged from hospital yesterday. He knows Seungyoon will come find him and it’s just a matter of time. That’s why he decides to leave.

He gets out of the house and locks the door. It’s a rushed decision but he really needs to run away and distant himself from Seungyoon physically.

Because he knows his heart can never do that.

He takes a final look at the house and leaves.

When Seungyoon arrives that evening, he’s only met with the locked door.

He doesn’t even leave him a goodbye note. And just like that, Song Mino leaves him and disappears from his life again.

A few months have gone by. Seungyoon spends each day thinking about him, missing him and ends up getting angry. Like a routine.

But at one point, he could stop himself from calling Mino’s number. Because he’s hurt with every second his calls have been neglected. He doesn’t want to be hurt anymore. So he does what he knows best. Ignores him and pretends as if he never exists.

He hands over all the arrangements on the collaboration exhibit with Mino to his assistance. He doesn’t even let his assistance discuss about the exhibit with him either. Mino seems to be doing the same, only communicating via another person.

Since his face darkens every time someone mentions Mino’s name, no one talks about Mino to him anymore. Everyone thought there was beef between the prideful gallery owner and the eccentric artist. No one knows what actually happened between them except Lee Seunghoon.

“You guys are not contacting each other anymore? Don’t you wanna know where he is? Maybe I can use my connection and help you find him.” Seunghoon asks him.

“Hyung stop it already. You know he chose to leave me. That’s his answer. Where he is or what he’s doing, is not my business. Not anymore.”

Seunghoon looks into his eyes and carefully questions_ “But at least, don’t you think he has his reason?”

“Whatever the reason is, I don’t care. If he thinks he can live fine without me, let him be then.”

“Then how about you? Can you live fine without him?”

Suddenly, words fail him. He cannot form a convincing answer that he’s doing fine. Even if he does, Seunghoon Hyung will know whether he’s speaking the truth or lying anyway. So he keeps his mouth shut and looks away, gazing at the blue sky outside the window pretending as if it is the most interesting thing on the world.

Seunghoon lets out a sigh and leaves the room.

Honestly, he knows he’s just ignoring the big elephant in the room. Pretending there’s no problem, will not make the problem go away. He has to face it and resolve it. He needs closure. He knows that too well. But he’s hurt and scared to do it. He’s scared of the truth.

What if the real reason Mino left him is because he realizes he’s not that into him? Or that Seungyoon did something wrong to him in the past that he suddenly decides he will not forgive him? He thinks he won’t be able to handle that kind of truth. So he chooses to ignore it altogether.

But then fate has its own way of handling it.

And fate comes in as a form of a part-time worker at a convenient store near his gallery.

It’s just one of those normal evening. He runs out of cigarette so he drops by the store nearby before he goes home. When he hands his credit card for payment and meets eyes with the cashier, the guy’s face glinted and greets him cheerfully. With a quizzical look, he just gives him a polite smile back.

He just thought_ “That’s one friendly part-timer.”

“Hyung! Is that you Hyung? Wow! Hyung you are even more handsome now.”

The greeting has him by surprise. The cashier seems so happy to see him. Seungyoon gives him an apologetic look, as he can’t remember who the boy is. The guy seems much younger than him. He’s probably a high schooler. And he never remembers being acquainted with a high schooler before.

He’s ready to respond that the guy got the wrong person. But the cashier asks_

“Hyung! Aren’t you Seungyoon Hyung?”

Now that really surprises him.

“Yes? Do you know me?”

The guy pouts and cutely complaints_ “Ah Hyung! I’m Jihoon. Jinhoonie! Don’t you remember me?”

“Jihoon?”

He feels like he has heard the name before. Then it strikes him that it’s the name of the little boy from Dream Home Mino told him before.

Although he doesn’t remember his face, something about him does seem familiar. Maybe because Mino mentioned his name a lot.

He looks at the guy again who’s smiling brightly at him.

“Hyung you didn’t even come visit Dream Home once since you left.” Jihoon puckers his lips like a spoiled child and confirms that his suspicion is correct. The boy is indeed the little Jihoon from Dream Home. Seungyoon can’t help but feels fond of him instantly. He ruffles the hair of the boy affectionately.

“Hyung’s sorry Jihoon-ah. Let me treat you something delicious. When’s your shift over?”

The boy beams at his offer.

“My shift’s already over. I’m just waiting for my friend who will take over. We can go when he comes.”

After handing over to another part-timer, they easily find an eatery nearby. He orders so many dishes as if to make up for his absence. The boy fills him in about those from Dream Home and who’s doing what. But he can’t keep on pretending he remembers them all. So he confesses about his memory loss eventually. As expected, Jihoon’s bewildered to learn that.

“You don’t remember anyone at all?”

He shakes his head in response.

“How about Mino Hyung?”

He shakes his head again and Jihoon seems really stunned at his answer.

“Really? Not even Mino Hyung?”

Seungyoon notices the astonishment in Jihoon’s response. How close they were that him forgetting Mino was such a big deal for Jihoon?

His chest tightens.

“If you forget Mino Hyung, then I can’t really blame you for not remembering me Hyung.”

He gives him a small smile to hide his sadness. He hasn’t talked about Mino for so long, at least not out loud.

Jihoon continues_

“So, how far do you remember Hyung? Do you remember anything before your mom committed suicide?”

His throat dries up that his voice cracks_ “What? What.. did you say?” His hand starts trembling that he drops the fork he’s holding. His heart constricts painfully. He chokes out_ “My mom committed suicide?”

Jihoon notices his condition and runs to his side of the table.

“Hyung! Hyung? I’m sorry. I thought.. I thought you knew. Are you Okay?”

He tries to calm himself down but fails miserably. His breathing gets faster like he can’t get enough air into his lungs, like someone just up all the air around him. And he sees images flashing in his head, his mom lying in a pool of blood, red stained shower curtain, people running and screaming.

He closes his ears with both hands trying to drown out the voices in his head. But to no avail, they get louder and louder. He tries to scream but nothing comes out. His throat tightens like something is blocking his airway.

Tears falling from his eyes as the pain in his chest becomes unbearable. Helplessly, he shuts his eyes about to give in to the pitch-black hole that is swallowing him.  

Just then, he feels it.

He feels a pair of hands wrapping him in a tender embrace, one of them soothingly rubbing his chest just above the heart.

He opens his eyes to meet to those familiar brown eyes looking down at him worriedly, those beautiful amber eyes owned by the one he has been missing like hell.

Light touches still tapping on a gentle rhythm and calming his heart,

One

Two..

Three..

He closes his eyes again, ready to face whatever is waiting for him in the darkness.