CHAPTER 13

Assuming Responsibility

October 2018

It was a quiet chilly night at the vacation house. The grass on the narrow garden and leaves from the potted plants rustled as a soft wind swooped down and detoured back up to form a slight whirlwind. The clouds were starting to clear overhead. Here and there tiny sparks of light gleamed down on the sleepless soul sitting on the bench of the vacation house’s side porch. Wendy brought up her legs onto the bench and rested her crossed arms on them as she continued looking up at the sky. It was the perfect time to contemplate life’s existence and the what-ifs that came along with it.

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” Soo-Young walked out of the open glass doors with a toothbrush and a toothpaste on hand. She sat beside Wendy on the wooden bench and shoved her toothbrush into . Her head seemed to have sobered up a bit.

“She’ll be fine,” Wendy said bringing her chin down to rest on her arms.

Seulgi had passed out on the floor after crying her heart out during dinner—too drunk and emotional to function for the rest of the night. With the help of Soo-Young’s bigger, more muscular frame and Wendy’s care-taking skills from volunteering in the ER, they had managed to get Seulgi to bed. They cleaned her face up and changed her clothes as well.

Soo-Young paused her brushing and uttered with her foamy toothbrush sitting between her molars, “Betcha she prolly won’ remembuh a thin’ next mo’nin’.”

“Maybe,” Wendy said in a soft, sleepy voice.

Soo-Young got up and went back into the house. After a while, she came back out looking like a figure model in expensive sleep clothes while patting moisturizer on her face. Watching Soo-Young as she sat down beside her made Wendy wonder how her rough brute of an old friend reached her glamorous “glow-up.”

“You think she was telling the truth? That she… saw…” Soo-Young hesitated to even finish her sentence.

“I don’t think drunk Seulgi is a liar,” Wendy said with a shrug. “It makes sense. She must have been so traumatized…”

Soo-Young fumbled with the hem of her satin pajama sleeve and sighed. “Are you okay though?”

“Hm?” Wendy lifted her head.

“I hate to admit it, but I may have been insensitive, as usual. I’m trying not to be the same stone-hearted , but I still have tendencies,” Soo-Young said with an embarrassed grin. “Seulgi hates this whole ordeal of bringing up the past, and for good reason that I apparently overlooked… I’d like for all of us to find the time capsule together, but if it bothers her that much, maybe well… what about you?”

“I…,” Wendy hesitated.

“Well?”

“It’s alright. I’ll look for it with you. I’ll be okay,” Wendy forced a smile. She and Seulgi were in the same boat though. She saw no true value in trying to look for a cookie jar buried in the middle of the woods, but if it helped Soo-Young sort out her own issues, she thought she might as well go along with it since she had nothing better to do when it came to dealing with her own issues.

“Ah… so you’re a faker.” Soo-Young cocked an eyebrow, looking very judgmental. She saw through Wendy so easily. “You don’t have to lie to me. I know you don’t think looking for it is a good idea either. It’s written all over your face.”

“I’m not—” Wendy got ready to defend herself, but Soo-Young immediately cut her off.

“It’s cool. We all are liars, fakers, and hypocrites—to some degree at least.” Soo-Young shrugged. “If I’m gonna be completely honest, I don’t remember a lot about the time capsule either.”

“You remember better than the rest of us.”

“Actually, I don’t know if I remember it correctly,” Soo-Young said, frustration resonating with her voice. “I think remember burying something in the woods. I don’t know what exactly. I also know that we placed some things in a cookie jar. I’m not sure what either. I also know we wrote letters to our future selves—”

A bewildered expression took over Wendy’s face. “Are you saying you could be making things up by combining random memories? Soo-Young that’s—”

“I know, I know, it’s completely ridiculous!” Soo-Young ran her fingers through her thick, long hair and held the crook of her slim neck as though she was having a magazine photoshoot. “I just don’t want our memories to go away. I don’t want to forget, but the more I try to remember the harder it is. Seulgi Unnie could be right, and I’m just kidding myself, but I thought maybe I’d remember better if I came back here…”

“Soo-Young…”

“I’ve wanted to come back here for a long time. I wanted to know if what I remember is true. You have no idea… Our memories together—they’re all I have. The only good memories I’ve ever had were with you guys. And Joohyun Unnie… she had always looked out for me. I don’t ever want to forget us from that time.”

“Why didn’t you tell us this earlier?” Wendy asked, feeling sympathy for her friend.

“Didn’t want either of you to doubt me and leave so I tried to be as convincing as possible. And after seeing you both so similar yet so different, I started doubting myself and my own memories for a second. Maybe the friends who used to stick around aren’t so willing to stick around anymore. I didn’t want to believe that. But people change, unfortunately. On the bright side, I did find you guys again, so it wasn’t all a waste. Honestly, that’s probably the only good thing that ever came out of this—seeing you guys again, no matter how much we all bickered within the past 24 hours.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I never stopped thinking about you and Seulgi and our friendship all these years either,” said Wendy. “I’m glad I found you both too.”

Soo-Young gave her a thankful smile. After all of Seulgi’s attempts at avoiding her and everything connected to their past, it was nice to know Wendy was still thankful to have her around.

 

 

Thirteen Years Ago: December 2005

As the cold spell of Christmas Eve continued to sting through skin and meat and bones, the voices continued to grow louder. They all said the same senseless noise: Santa… presents… dinners… Nothing could be more miserable for those who had utter distaste for those things.

“So, Miss Grinch, what’cha gonna do on Christmas day?”

11-year-old Soo-Young furiously glared at the smug-faced boy standing before her desk. Soon another shorter boy approached as he picked on his nose. Then a couple of snooty girls gathered close, holding their heads high as though they towered over Soo-Young, who was about half-a-head taller than almost everyone in class.

“Don’t even mention the ‘C’ word in front of her. She’ll punch the living daylights outta you,” said the snotty boy picking at his nose.

“What do you think? She’s been in the naughty list since she was born,” said one of the girls. “That’s why her Christmas wish never comes true.”

Every December in the grade school, the students get to write down their Christmas wishes on post-it notes and stick them on one of the cork boards on the walls of their classroom. The wishes usually are as simple and as trivial as grade schoolers’ wishes tend to be. Toys, sweets, world peace…

For the longest time, Soo-Young only had one wish every Christmas: that she would have a puppy. That was just an excuse to write something down though. She knew it would never come true.

 

She hated Christmas for a completely different reason, however. Soo-Young could still remember that one day about three years ago during Christmas—the last time she had seen her father…

“You think I wouldn’t find out?!” her father had yelled at her mother so loudly, that 8-year-old Soo-Young at the time could do nothing but cower behind the unhelpful protection of her bedroom door.

“If…! If you had just…!” her mother yelled back, but her voice was shaky. “If you had just been home!”

“Oh, so you admit to it? You admit to it, huh?”

Her mother sobbed miserably making sounds similar to that of a tortured stray cat. “I WAS LONELY, OKAY?!”

“I DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW!” Her father roared, utterly repulsed by the woman’s attempt at reasoning.

Soo-Young stayed on the corner behind her door with hands pressed to her ears to muffle their voices. They continued their fight at the top of their lungs outside the street. It was possible that the entire block had heard their curses at each other, but Soo-Young had tried her best to phase them out by pressing harder on her ears and closing her eyes tighter. Minutes later, Soo-Young heard a loud crash inside the house. When she peeked downstairs to see what was going on, she saw her mother weeping alone on the living room with a broken vase on the floor. Her father had not come home from Japan ever since.

Ever since the other kids noticed that nobody ever accompanied Soo-Young to the school’s family events, they all started picking on her and calling her a loner with no parents. It did not help that her Christmas wish never came true either.

 

“What’s wrong, Miss Grinch? Your rich Dad still won’t come home to you with a puppy? Maybe he just doesn’t want to be your dad anymore!” they teased.

She hated being told that more than anything, because it was somewhat true. At this point, her parents don’t even act like her parents anymore. She hated them. She hated them for the misery they put her through. Yet for some reason, she still wanted her father to come home and fix this mess. Maybe then even her mother would stop being so harsh to her for simply existing.

Trying her best not to give everyone in the classroom a black eye and be branded as a bully again, Soo-Young simply stood from her seat, swung her backpack onto her shoulder, and left the room.

Out on the cold, wet grounds she found Seulgi and Seungwan admiring the tall pine tree wrapped in lights.

“I can’t wait! It’s going to be so much fun!” Soo-Young heard Seulgi exclaim from a distance.

“That does sound fun, Seul,” Seungwan said with a giggle.

Soo-Young approached them, her mood growing even sourer as she approached the pine tree. “Hey.”

“Hey Soo-Young!” the two older girls greeted.

“You know, I’m going skiing with my family this Christmas! We’re all going to the ski resort and—”

“Great.” Soo-Young said it so sarcastically that Seulgi ended up not finishing her sentence.

“Everything okay?” Seungwan asked.

“Just fine. Whatever.”

“You know, I think I know just what would cheer you up,” Seulgi said with a mischievous glint in her eye.

“Nothing will cheer me up.” Soo-Young gave her an angry glare.

“Trust me, you will be cheered up. Now let’s go, we’ll miss the 3 o’clock bus!”

Seulgi and Seungwan managed to drag Soo-Young all the way downtown—to Sunshine Puppy Home. Technically, Seulgi and Seungwan was right that the dogs usually cheer her up. However, Soo-Young had stopped coming to the shelter ever since the beginning of December. She simply was not in the mood. December was never the kindest month to her.

“It’s been a while!” Seulgi exclaimed.

“The dog shelter? Look, I’m not in the mood today…,” Soo-Young grumbled and tried to resist and get away from her two shorter friends’ grip.

“Not in the mood? You’re always in the mood for puppies!” It sounded so incredulous Seulgi could not believe it herself. “Come on, Soo-Young. We have a surprise for you inside.”

Seungwan elbowed Seulgi sharply on the rib. “Seulgi, don’t spoil it.”

“What surprise?”

“You’ll see when you come in. Now come on!” Before Soo-Young could resist, Seulgi pushed her toward the heavy, glass door as Seungwan held it open.

The drab, run down office was slightly brighter than it used to be. Decorative Christmas lights of flashing blue, yellow, green, and red now lined the corner of the low ceiling, and a new 4-foot stereo had replaced the shelf that used to be under the box television set, playing an English pop song through the radio.

(All I Want for Christmas is You - Mariah Carey)

 

The chimes tinkled at the entrance of the three grade school kids, alerting the supervising desk clerk, who was snacking on some prawn crisps while crouched down directly in front of the electric heater.

“Hello, Soo-Young Unnie, good afternoon,” Seulgi and Seungwan greeted the older Choi Soo-Young, the lady in her mid-twenties who ran the Sunshine Puppy Home.

“Oh, hello kids! Don’t mind me, I’m not procrastinating or anything,” Choi Soo-Young awkwardly shuffled from her crouching position, stood to her full height, and held her hip with her free hand to slightly bend backward and stretch her lower back. Then she held out the bag of prawn crisps. “Prawn crisps, anyone?”

“Is she here?” Seungwan asked, raising suspicions in Park Soo-Young’s mind.

“Ah, yes, yes! I just gave her a nice warm bathing earlier. Such a doll! I’ll go fetch her now!” The shelter unnie squealed with every word, making kid Soo-Young even more suspicious.

“Who’s she?” Soo-Young asked as the older Soo-Young went off into narrow, gated corridor that led to the other room.

“You’ll see,” Seulgi said with a teasing smirk.

As they waited, Seungwan casually sang along to the song playing in the background.

 

 

After a while of Seulgi being in awe of Seungwan’s English singing skills and Soo-Young being completely indifferent about it, the shelter unnie came out of the corridor. And in her arms, she held a small, white fluffy creature, no longer than her arm. The white furry animal squirmed a bit and twisted around to greet them with the sweetest, friendliest round marble-like black eyes, and button-like black nose. Choi Soo-Young set her down on the office floorboards where it sat and observed the three girls curiously before attempting to come near and get a whiff of their scents.

“Aw, she’s so adorable!” the three girls swooned. The puppy went closer to Soo-Young who automatically stretched out her arm to give the fluff ball a pet.

“I’ve never seen this Maltese pup here before. Is she new?”

“Yes, I just got her two weeks ago. She was left in a small dog bag at our doorstep. I tried looking for the owner but no luck. But recently, I’ve been in talks with certain folks who are keen on adopting her.” The shelter lady winked at Seulgi and Seungwan. Soo-Young glanced at her two friends.

“Wannie and I thought of getting it for you!” Seulgi was so excited she could not help but exclaim it already.

“You what?” Soo-Young could not believe her ears. “But you know my mother would never—”

“Yes, and so we made a good deal with Soo-Young Unnie about it,” said Seungwan.

“A deal?”

From here on the shelter unnie explained their agreement. “Since your mother currently will not allow you to have a dog at your house, this puppy is allowed to stay here with me. While she’s here with me, I will feed her take good care of her to the best of my abilities, but it is your responsibility to come over every day and check up on her and give her walks and keep her happy, because she is yours. You can think of me as like a babysitter. You can name her and take her anywhere you want, and you can let your friends take her home, too, if you want. So, what do you think of that deal?”

“And how much is the adoption fee?” Soo-Young immediately inquired and she picked up the puppy and cradled it in her arms. Seulgi lightly tickled its furry neck.

“Fee? Pffffttt... Don’t worry about it, I’ll pay for it myself,” the shelter unnie said as casually as though she did not sound completely insane just now. “Just think of it as a Christmas gift from the three of us. Hope you can be happy this Christmas.”

“We also tried paying her—you know, go Dutch—but she wouldn’t take our money,” Seulgi mumbled in Soo-Young’s ear.

Choi Soo-Young was the only person Park Soo-Young truly confided about her frustrations with her parents, especially with her hatred for Christmas. If anyone knew about the disappointment and pain she felt about her parents’ treatment of each other and of their family, it was this dog shelter lady. She was the only adult figure who truly understood her and wanted what was best for her. It was not surprising at all that she would also financially support Seulgi and Seungwan’s idea out of pity for Soo-Young’s miserable situation.

“It was our idea. We did not know what gift to give you, so Soo-Young Unnie helped us. It’s got our love with it,” Seungwan said proudly. The dog gave a squeaky bark as to affirm Seungwan’s claim.

“Your love?” Soo-Young still could not believe it. She looked down into the sweet round eyes of this docile baby happily cuddled in her arms. The puppy wagged her tail. A feeling of warmth and joy spread all over Soo-Young. She tried to suppress it, eventually coming out on her face as a cringe and a crooked grin. Seulgi Unnie and Seungwan Unnie… are so annoying. In a good way.

“Yes,” Seungwan said firmly. Then she whispered, “You were the one who told me not to stop being nice to you, Joohyun Unnie, and others, so you get a gift this Christmas too.”

“I never said that,” Soo-Young muttered.

“In your own words, you did,” Seungwan said with a wink.

Soo-Young blushed madly as she rubbed the puppy’s belly. “Thanks a lot… for this. It’s the best gift ever.”

“So what are you naming her?” Seulgi asked as she hooked her arm over Soo-Young’s neck.

Soo-Young thought for a while. “What about… Haetnim? She’s… she’s such a ray of sunshine.” Just like Seulgi Unnie and Wendy Unnie… and this puppy home. I'll never abandon you, Haetnim. I'll be really good to you.

The shelter unnie prepared the adoption papers to make it official. Soo-Young signed her name as the owner and received an official certificate (the first official paper she had ever signed in her life). All afternoon the three girls played with Haetnim and took polaroid shots of her. Then they went off shopping at a pet store for pet toys and a suitable collar for Haetnim. For the first time in years, Soo-Young had a new Christmas wish. She wished so badly to take Haetnim home with her, but she knew very well how violently her mother would react against it. With great reluctance, she left Haetnim with the dog shelter, promising to come see her every single day. 

Later that night, Soo-Young came home to her cold bed room with Haetnim never leaving her mind. She lovingly looked through some of the photographs that Seulgi took, completely forgetting all her frustrations with the holidays. Today, on Christmas Eve, was probably the best day of her life so far. As she stuck some photographs they took on her wall with some masking tape, she caught a glimpse of the view outside her bedroom window.

“Wait a sec…” Soo-Young paused what she was doing and took a double take on her window.

Outside, the 6 p.m. sky had grown dark with slight remnants of light from the fading twilight. The lamppost between the flowerpot house and the creepy witch’s house beside it had lit up, illuminating the street. The flowerpot house where Seulgi lived was lit up inside, and as expected, Seulgi’s parents’ car had parked in front of it. Seulgi had mentioned her family would pick her up tonight for their ski trip tomorrow. Since Seulgi’s family visited the flowerpot house often, there was no surprise there at all, and Soo-Young tried her best not to care… However, tonight, she noticed that the windows of the house beside it was lit up too. Soo-Young crept closer to her windowsill and slid the outer glass open to get a clearer view. A burst of cold wind slapped her in the face. Looking down across the street, she saw it clearly—Joohyun and Yeri’s house is all lit up under the dark night sky.

 

 

October 2018

Lead lights upon detecting movement on the floor landing. Across the landing was a lone apartment door. Fingers with well-manicured black nails slid up the cover of the passcode-protected lock system, revealing a key pad. With a swift movement of agile fingers, the door unlocked with a beep. Pushing the door open, the young lady in an oversized purple sweater stepped inside.

She ped her black boots, careful not to clumsily trip over half a dozen other pairs of sneakers and slippers laying around right by the door as though the shoe rack that stretched the entire wall of the corridor did not exist. Down the corridor in a room on the left, she could hear sounds of television commercials, and farther down the corridor, she could hear the sounds of clanging pots and running water. Then she trotted into the living room (the first wide open room on the left) without saying a thing to the petite figure of her older cousin Taeyeon sitting down on the floor coddling a grey toy poodle.

“Hey! Kim Yerim!” Taeyeon set the poodle down called out to Yerim with a loud, demanding voice. “Where the hell did you come from?! I looked all over for you!”

Yeri ignored her older cousin Taeyeon and continued walking across the room into another corridor that led to her bedroom.

“Hey! Hey, Kim Yerim!”

Yerim went into her bedroom, but before she could slam the door behind her, her cousin had caught up with her already. Yeri turned around to the exasperated pale face of her cousin and raised a brow. If that did not signal how much she did not give any s about the upcoming storm of scolding, then maybe crossing her arms will…

“You think I wouldn’t find out about that flight you booked to London?! Seriously?!” Her cousin placed her hands on either side of her hips to subconsciously show superiority. Yerim eyed her up and down. All she could see was a small woman in her mid-thirties wearing pyjamas with puppy paw prints like a 12-year-old.

“No, I don’t think you’re that stupid.” Yerim was just as exasperated. “Unless of course, you never did find out, then that would be a problem.”

“Young lady, I—wha—what the bloody hell does that mean?!”

Yerim shrugged and threw her sling bag onto her bed before throwing herself on her cushions. She then raised her leg up onto her bed and leaned back on her stack of pillows. “What’cha here for then if you’re not going to cuss me out? Go on, get it over with. Sick and tired of telling me how sick and tired you are of me and my horrible attitude, are you?”

Forcing herself into a forced calm, Taeyeon said, “I just want to know why in the damn world did you book a flight to London. Planning on running away, huh?”

“Trust me, if I’ve always wanted to run off. You’ve known me for a long time. If I had any real guts, I’d have left a long time ago, but I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“If you were not going to use it in the first place, why book it? Just looking for a fight again?” Taeyeon was trying not to raise her voice but it was getting louder with every word.

“Cancel and get a damn refund for all I care.” Yerim rummaged her bag and pulled out a credit card which she tossed to the unsuspecting Taeyeon who caught it in a gawky fashion.

“Fine. Just fine.” Taeyeon tossed her hand up slashing the air with her credit card and turned to leave. “I hope this little incident has made you the slightest bit happier.” She then slammed Yerim’s door shut.

After a while of senseless scrolling through her phone, Yerim got up and sat in front of her wooden dresser. Pulling out some cotton pads from one of her drawers, she grabbed the bottle of make-up remover amongst the other beauty items on her dresser and poured it on the cotton pads. Bit by bit she wiped her face clean until she could see her bare skin in the mirror.

When she was done, she stared at her reflection for a while. Just like her cousin Taeyeon, she appeared to be so much younger without her makeup on. Her skin barely had blemishes, except for the light slash of discoloured scar tissue on her cheek. Every time she looked in the mirror, her eyes gravitated toward the barely visible scar mark. Usually, she hid it under a layer of foundation so it was undetectable by human eye when she was out and about. However, at the end of the day, she always found time to stare at it in the mirror.

“That’s Bae Yeri right there,” she whispered to her scarred reflection. Then she got up and left her room to wash her face in the bathroom.

 

***

 

Thirteen Years Ago: December 2005

“That’s Yeri right there,” little Yeri heard her sister say as she remained hidden behind the door partly concealed by a wooden cupboard—the same door to the cramped room where she and her sister usually slept. With one eye peeking through the slight opening, Yeri could see the lean figure of her teenage sister standing in their once dimly-lit living room that was now filled with a bright white light. Her face was tainted with the usual pitiful melancholy which seemed to have become more noticeable under the bright light. Despite that, her gaze toward Yeri was still gentle and warm as ever. “Yeri, don’t be afraid. Come out. It’s okay.”

Yeri remained behind the door clutching the knob tightly in her measly hands.

“She… she won’t come out,” said the weak, hoarse voice of an older man.

Joohyun was not alone out there. Her sister had hastily hidden her behind the door when they heard him coming. Someone else far older than either of them had come, and Joohyun spoke to him with a tone of worry, thought Yeri did not quite understand what they were talking about. They used a number of words too advanced for her. Before long, the lights in the house shined brightly for the first time ever. Yeri could not remember a time when the lights had not flickered, but he had magically fixed it.

Yeri knew him. She knew his face, at least before he had acquired a gruesome purplish, bluish bruise all over his eye. He was no stranger, yet he certainly acted like one. The sight of him scared Yeri more than anything else, despite the unexpectedly gentle way he spoke with her sister. Yeri had expected him to be an erratic and violent character (was it due to a wild imagination?), but his gestures and movements were heavily weighted as though his pathetically beat up body barely had strength to live. Yeri was never this timid with people, but she did not want to go out and show herself despite her sister insisting that it was alright.

“You need to rest,” Joohyun said to the middle-aged man. He then walked away from view with a heavy sigh. Yeri heard his weight fall down on the hardwood floor. Joohyun remained stationary and continued talking to him in a colder, more menacing voice, “Now don’t lie to me, Dad.”

“I told you I did not steal anything.”

“I’m talking about your blackeye.”

He sighed and mumbled something incoherent but Joohyun cut him off.

“It was Uncle, wasn’t it? He did this to you.” Joohyun’s voice was so steady as though she never had doubts about her intuition. 

“Joohyun… look…,” he pleaded. He seemed determined not to continue this conversation.

Joohyun glanced toward Yeri’s direction once more, and Yeri caught Joohyun’s glassy demeanour break down as her eyes suddenly brimmed with tears that she fought to hold back. Then she blinked for a split second and she was back to a poker face. She then said, “Is that why you’re sober?”

Yeri had not the slightest idea what “sober” meant. Joohyun had said that word number of times ever since this man had set foot into the house.

“Joohyun, please,” he begged. “Let it go. If anyone is at fault here it’s me.”

Joohyun moved from her spot. Yeri heard the sound of the refrigerator door creaking open and the thud that came the moment it had been closed. Then she saw her sister cross the room holding an ice pack. “This should help.”

“Thank you,” the man said in a wheezy whisper. For a while, Yeri could not hear anything. Then she heard him say, “Forgive me, Joohyun. I don’t deserve a daughter like you.”

“No, I should be the one sorry,” said Joohyun. “I should have been more careful...”

“You can’t keep blaming yourself like this!” Her father raised his voice. “I deserved every bit of the blame. It’s not your place to assume responsibility, do you understand me?”

“I completely understand whose responsibility it is!” Joohyun answered back, equally raising her voice suddenly fuelled with a bit of rage. “But how dare you talk about assuming responsibility to me! You know very well what would have happened had I not taken care of Yeri, had I not assumed responsibility and covered up your actions!”

There was cold silence for a few seconds.

“Forgive me,” he seemed to have breathed out. “I’ll be more responsible from now on.”

Yeri quickly ran toward the closet the moment she heard footsteps coming closer. Joohyun entered the small room and turned to lock the door. She was sniffling. She wiped her face with the back of her hand before turning around to face Yeri. Joohyun rarely ever cried. Although she barely understood what was going on, Yeri felt worried.

“Unnie… Did he make you cry?” Yeri asked her sister.

Joohyun sat down on the floor and dabbed her eyes with the lower edge of her palms.

“Unnie…” Yeri went closer and caressed her older sister’s head.

Joohyun gently gazed upon her with bloodshot eyes and held Yeri close, making her sit on her lap. “You don’t have to worry about me, Yeri. Just know that you’ll always be safe with me.”

 

The next day, Park Soo-Young got up early in the morning just like every other day. She was a bit fatigued today, however, due to the restless night she had spent after seeing the lights within Joohyun’s house. What could have happened? Did that witch finally earn enough money from that Chinese restaurant to get someone to fix the lights? Soo-Young could not help her curiosity. She tried convincing herself that she could care less, but she truly wanted to know what was going on in there.

All Christmas Day, Soo-Young avoided spending time inside the house for her mother was also at home taking the day off. Before Soo-Young left the house that morning, her mother had taken up a pile of parcels from Japan to her room as usual—with a side comment expressing her distaste for them. If they had anything in common other than their easily irritable temperament, they both equally shared their hatred for those parcels. Soo-Young could not stand the sight of all these gifts from her father that she never asked for, and neither the presence of her mother and brother making a ruckus in the usually deserted house. Thank goodness she had an excuse to leave the damned place to care for her newly christened puppy at the shelter.

Soo-Young went around downtown with Haetnim walking on a leash beside her. The puppy seemed to have enjoyed the smells, the sights, the snow… She often excitedly wagged her tail and bounced and skipped as they went along the paved streets. Soo-Young loved every minute with her and wished so much that Seulgi and Seungwan would have been there to witness all of Haetnim’s silly shenanigans. Unfortunately, Seulgi was off somewhere with her family in Gangwon Province sledding down man-made snow slopes while Seungwan was at home with her parents, eating home-baked pastry and watching some sappy Hallmark movie. Soo-Young tried not to think of how much fun they must be having by focusing on what they were missing out on… Haetnim’s cuteness… yeah, they’re missing out in this ray of sunshine…

But who am I kidding? Seulgi and Seungwan both have parents who care a lot about them… meanwhile my parents…

Soo-Young stared down at Haetnim, beaming at her ecstatically with open and her floppy tongue dangling down her chin. She bent down to scratch Haetnim’s neck affectionately and giggled at the adorable tail wagging that ensued.

I hate my parents. I don’t need them. I’ve got Haetnim.

As they continued walking down the block from Sunshine Puppy Home, they stopped by a small playground right behind the block of shops lining the street. Haetnim seemed to be quite fascinated by the snow-topped gravel and went on a digging spree right by the swings. Since Haetnim was quite busy roughing up the snow, sand, and gravel, Soo-Young sat on one of the swings for a break.

“You’ll need some cleaning up after this. You’re gonna dirty your fur,” Soo-Young said to Haetnim, who flatly ignored her.

“Unnie, look!” a small, squeaky voice exclaimed from a distance. When Soo-Young looked to the where the voice had come from, she saw a small girl with a thick knitted bonnet on her head and a face covered with a black mask. It was Yeri. And right behind her was the creep of a sister, Bae Joohyun, wrapped in a knitted cream scarf.

The hell are they doing here?

Yeri quickly ran toward Haetnim but stopped about a metre away, keeping her distance. “Joohyun Unnie, look! Soo-Young Unnie’s got a puppy!”

“Yeri, be careful,” Joohyun said catching up to her. She was hesitant to come close though. She quickly held Yeri shoulders and back-tracked a couple of steps. Haetnim, however, continued her digging.

“Unnie, can I pet her?” Yeri asked her sister.

“Um… that thing doesn’t bite, does it?” Joohyun’s eyes were dilated the whole time she was staring at the puppy as though Haetnim was some sort of horrifying monster. She also sounded oddly frantic over nothing.

“Does this thing look like she bites to you?” Soo-Young snapped back at Joohyun, irritated by Joohyun’s lack of respect for her dog. “She wouldn’t harm a soul.”

“Can I, Unnie?” Yeri asked once more.

“Okay… but be very careful.” Joohyun said that as though she distrusted Haetnim completely.

Yeri slowly crept closer until her mittens touched Haetnim’s furry head. Haetnim stopped digging to look up at her. Yeri quickly retracted her hand. “I touched it!”

“Are you two here just to bother my dog?” Soo-Young asked harshly. As much as Joohyun seemed to distrust Haetnim, Soo-Young distrusted Joohyun just the same.

“Xiah Dragon…” The Chinese restaurant was right at the end of the block.

“Right, how dumb of me to forget that you work there.” Soo-Young lightly kicked the thin layer of snow on the gravel.

Joohyun stepped aside and sat on the next swing, a bit farther from Haetnim. She clutched the metal chains and slightly rocked herself forward and backward. Other than the creaking chain, Joohyun made no other sound. Soo-Young felt uncomfortable having this girl sit within two metres of her. Then in the most awkward fashion, Joohyun took out a Ziplock bag from her pocket and asked, “Do you want a cookie?”

Mortified by the question as though she was offered poison, Soo-Young flatly refused. “Uh, no thanks.”

“I want one!” Yeri squealed and ran to her sister. Joohyun gave her one cookie the size of Yeri’s face. Yeri nibbled on the cookie in delight.

“Seungwan made it.” Joohyun seemed to be slightly embarrassed as she admitted this.

“So you apologized to her?”

Joohyun didn’t respond. She simply looked down at her worn-out sneakers and sighed with a puff of smoke rising into the cold air.

“I saw there were finally lights in your house. Finally got it fixed, huh?” Soo-Young smugly cocked a brow. She thought she finally got this unnie cornered, and maybe—just maybe—her curiosity about the light could finally be satisfied.

However, instead of directly answering Soo-Young’s jabs, Joohyun stood up from the swing and looked at her directly in the eye. “I know you don’t want to hear this especially from me, but you and I have a lot more in common than you think. And you know what I learned lately? I learned that forgiving is not easy, but you have to. Hatred never solves anything.” Then Joohyun tugged at Yeri and said, “Come on Yeri. They’re waiting for us. Merry Christmas, Park Soo-Young.”

What the… Soo-Young knew Joohyun made absolutely no sense but this was pushing it too far. As Joohyun and Yeri walked away, Soo-Young stood from the swing and called out, “How would you know what we have in common? You barely even know me! And what does that have to do with the stupid lights in your house?!”

Yeri walked with Joohyun, still looking back at Soo-Young who was lashing out at them from a distance. Joohyun kept walking down the block without once looking back. Yeri doubled up her steps to keep up with her. When they were a distance away from Soo-Young, she asked her sister, “Why are you always fighting with Soo-Young Unnie? Is she your enemy?”   

“No, Yeri. She’s not my enemy. Having enemies isn’t nice,” her sister said nonchalantly as they entered the back entrance of the Xiah Dragon Noodles building. Inside, they climbed up a flight of stairs that led to the second floor.

“But you two don’t get along,” Yeri said with a pout as she nibbled on her cookie.

“It’s true we don’t get along, but Unnie doesn’t hate her. Unnie feels… sorry for her.”

“Sorry? Why?”

“Enough questions, Yeri.”

When they arrived at the lone door on the second-floor landing, Joohyun rang the doorbell. Soon a teenage boy who looked exactly like their cousin Taeyeon opened the door for them. It was Taeyeon’s brother Kibum. “Hey guys. Welcome. We’re just about to serve lunch.”

“That’s great.” Joohyun forced a smile. Yeri easily could read her sister's emotions. Joohyun did not seem very happy to be here in their cousins' house today.

 

 

October 2018

24-year-old Park Soo-Young pressed the power button on her phone and the screen lit up, showing an image of herself holding a white hairy dog in her arms. The dog looked sluggish and tired, but Soo-Young smiled widely in the photo. Above their head was the time—1:43 a.m. Gotta get some sleep.

Wendy got a glimpse of Soo-Young’s wallpaper and leaned in closer to take a look at it. “Hey, isn’t that…?”

“Haetnim. She died last year. I wanted to take her with me back to Yeonsan, but she in her frail old age couldn’t make it. She had been a great companion all these years. Such an angel...”

“Sorry. That must have been devastating.”

With a sigh, Soo-Young got up and lifted her arms up for a stretch. “Let’s talk again tomorrow when Seulgi Unnie wakes up. Good night.”

---

Author's Note:

SM WATER TASTES....... LIKE WATER. #wolo :') (who else is excited???)

​​​Also I changed some of the chapter titles if anyone noticed or even cares

Leave your thoughts on this story so far. I'd love to know what you think. Cheers