There’s still a few hours left before New Year but his friends are already far from being sober. He shakes his head in amusement as he saw them on the dance floor dancing their night away. He’s been trying to look for his bestfriend who excused himself a while ago but never returned. He tried going outside the garden to check if he’s there and he smiled when he saw the back of the man, standing a few feet from the lake. Yeah, there’s a lake in their backyard. Choi Siwon is that great.

As he slowly approach the man, he could feel the sad emotion radiating from his body. His back was slouched and he was holding a glass that’s half empty on his one hand.

“Hey~ you okay?” he stride to his side trying to get the guy’s attention. “I’ve been looking for you. You told me you’ll just go to the restroom. We’ll it’s been long enough and this clearly isn’t a restroom” He chuckles, trying to lighten up the mood. However, the man still has his eyes on the lake. He waited for a response.

After a good minute, Hyukjae turned and faced him. His eyes showed emotions that Donghae has never seen before. He gulped. Hyukjae has never showed him this side of him. He looked sad and hopeless and Donghae does not know what to do.

Hyukjae is his bestfriend. They had been friends since highschool and everybody knows that they are inseparable. Where you can find Hyukjae, you’ll be sure Donghae is there as well or closeby. Although they did not take the same major, they still meet and hangout often during college days. It was not a surprise anymore when they happen to find a job in the same company.

Some people think something is going on between them, even their friends, but nobody dared to ask. They make sure to tease the two from time to time and even went as far as to pair them up in one of their university’s festival event.

The event requires couples to do activities that tests their compatibility and team work. The two merely shrugged before accepting the offer because they think it will be fun and boy, those two love fun and challenges. They had a great laugh on it because they actually won the event, much to the dismay of the other couples.

They are, as what their friends say, a perfect couple because they really match each other well. Where Donghae is shy and composed, Hyukjae is very outspoken and carefree. Donghae likes photography and composing songs while Hyukjae likes dancing and extreme sports. Donghae has his life planned already. He knows what he wants and how to get it. Meanwhile, Hyukjae wants to enjoy life as it is. He thinks we should live everyday like it’s our last. That’s why he got the shock of his life when one day he realized his feelings for his bestfriend.

He likes to think that Donghae is the brother he never has. They clicked from the very start. Even though they’re the exact opposite of each other, they understand each other very well. He thought they will be bestfriends for the rest of their lives until his feelings slowly started to change. One day, while they’re watching a movie together which they’ve done countless of times already, he found himself staring at Donghae finding him a little more attractive than usual. He always thinks that Donghae is very handsome. Everybody knows that. However, during that particular time, he found him extra gorgeous and he can’t take his eyes off him. He most certainly did not remember what the movie was about since he’s too busy staring at his bestfriend’s face. After that day, he started noticing things he never did before like how Donghae’s smile is like a sunshine that can light up your day even in your most awful day. How his eyes sparkle when he sees his kind and the ocean or when he eats tacos. He noticed that Donghae bits his lips when he’s nervous or scared and he tends to blink and pout when he’s unsure and lost. He realized he does not like it when Donghae cries and he swears to himself he will make sure to no one dares to make his Donghae cry. HIS(??).

He tried acting normal around Donghae after this revelation, but with each passing day, it became more and more difficult because Donghae just becomes more and more attractive and so his feelings escalated as well. He does not know what to do because he does not want their friendship to end because of him. He knows Donghae’s plan. He wants to have a family and become a father as soon as possible. He does not want to ruin Donghae’s future and it is not as if he stand a chance. For all he knows, Donghae is not even gay.

“Hey Hyuk, are you okay?” Donghae moved closer placing his hand softly on his shoulder, afraid he would hurt the other. Another thing Hyukjae loves about him. He’s so gentle and caring.

Hyukjae closed his eyes for a while and exhaled before raising his head again to tell him he’s fine. “I’m fine. I just needed some air so I went here.” He turned around to face the lake so Donghae won’t see his face. His afraid his reaction will give him away.

“You look troubled. Is there something wrong? Do you have a problem? Com’on, you know you can tell me anything, right?” Hyukjae chuckled as he heard the whine in Donghae’s voice. The younger tends to ask too many questions at the same time.

“I know Hae. It just… I don’t think you’ll be able to help me on this one.” Donghae’s eyes widened a little. Hyukjae failed to see the little hurt that flashed in those brown orbs. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. it’s nothing bad…I just think I’m in love with you, that’s all” He showed him his gummy smile to reassure him but he knows that Donghae knows he is not.

Donghae is sad. He wants to help Hyukjae but he did not know how. He’s mad at himself for not being able to help his bestfriend when Hyukjae always help him when he has a problem.

Hyukjae panicked as he saw Donghae’s reaction. He knows that face well enough. He sighed, then slowly reached out to grab both the younger’s shoulder. “Stop doing that Hae. I know what you’re thinking.” With that said, Donghae looked up to meet his eyes. His lips quivered as tears started to form in his eyes. “I’m sorry if I can’t help you. I really want to. But I guess I’m not good enough”

“No! Don’t think like that Hae. You’re nothing like that. Infact you’re… you’re…” He loosen his grip to his shoulder a little as he looked away. “You’re more than enough for me… too good that I don’t deserve you anymore” he mumbled.

“Then tell me. I want to know so I can help you.” Donghae demanded and Hyukjae is trying so hard not to give in. Donghae does not need to know because it will only make things worse. He can live with the fact that he’s been harboring a one sided love with his bestfriend but not without him.

“You can’t Hae. I know you want to help but let me handle this on my own, please” He tried again.

“How do you know that I can’t help when you did not even try to tell me?”

“I know because it is my problem! I will tell it to you if I know you can help me.” He raised his voice a little because he did not know what to do anymore. Donghae is pushing him

“Then tell me! You’re not one to decide for me. I just wanted to help. Why are you yelling at me?”

“Because you’re my problem!” Donghae widened his eyes, shocked. “You’re the problem Hae. I Love You! I’m in love with you!” Hyukjae continued, breathing heavily after dropping the bomb. He did not mean to say it but Donghae pushed him. He’s looking at the younger’s face waiting for his reaction but the latter is frozen from his spot, eyes wide from the confession he just heard.

Seconds turned to minutes. “Hyuk… I…”

“I know. That’s why I don’t want to tell you. I know you don’t feel the same. I just don’t want to burden you with this” Hyukjae lowered his head in defeat. He retracted his hands and slowly made his way inside the house.

Donghae was stoned to his place. The words he just heard were still being processed by his tiny brain. He’s lost.

After a while of staring into nothing, thinking of the words he just heard from his bestfriend, he decided to go back inside as well. He was welcomed by the sight of his friends doing another game of shots. He was dragged by Heechul and was forced to join the game as well. The rule is simple. There’s a roulette in the middle with different kinds of drinks and dares as well. If the roulette stops and pointed to a dare, you can either do the dare or drink a shot. Then they have a small fishbowl with their names on it. While Heechul is explaining the game, he could feel the penetrating gaze of the older and when he looks up to him, he saw a hint of disappointment and hurt in those orbs and he feels a slight tug at his heart. The older looked away just as when Heechul started the game. They made it to a few rounds with Hyukjae having to drink atleast 4 shots of different liquor which he thinks are too strong because he can see that the older is getting drunk. By the time the next round started, he was chosen and the roulette stopped where it says he has to kiss the one opposite him on the neck. The person happened to be Kibum and since the guy is a little drunk already, welcomed Hae with open arms, unaware of the deadly glare being sent to him by a certain brunette.

“Com’on Hae, do it! It’s just a game. No malice whatsoever” Heechul demanded as he was getting impatient and wants to see some action.

“It’s okay Donghae, I don’t mind” Kibum flashed him his killer smile.

Donghae hesitantly stood up and bring himself closer to kibum. Just enough to plant a soft light kiss on his neck. “Awww. What was that Hae, my darling? So innocent, my child” Heechul cried in despair as he failed to see some real hot action.

Hyukjae clenched his fist at the sight. He wants to punch both Kibum, for being kissed by his Hae, and Heechul, for being an . The next round started and Donghae was unfortunately picked again.

“Whoa, it seems like tonight is your lucky night, my darling” Heechul snickered as he started the roulette. It stopped where it says to drink a shot of whiskey.

Donghae was flustered. He does not know what to do as he does not drink alcohol. “Uhmm, Heechul hyung I think I’ll pass this round. You know I can’t drink”

“Eii~ Don’t be a sissy, my child. It’s just a shot. I promise you it tastes good” Heechul won’t have any of this so he encouraged Donghae. He handed him the shot glass and was ushering him to drink it already.

Hyukjae got enough of it and stood up. He walk behind Donghae and snatched the glass on his hand before gulping it down. Donghae stared at Hyukjae but the brunette did not spare him a glance. Everybody went silent until Kyuhyun cleared his throat saying he can’t wait for his turn anymore. Hyukjae plumped down on the seat beside the younger but never looked his way. The next round goes to Hyukjae and it’s a 2 shot drink of tequila. By the time it’s almost midnight, they managed to do 2 more rounds with Donghae being chosen again. He was supposed to drink a full shot of absinthe but Hyukjae is fast enough to snatch the glass again from his hand before gulping it in one go. Sneers and whistles can be heard as Hyukjae stood up declaring “No more drinks for Lee Donghae” before he left. His tone is with finality that even Heechul did not protest.

“Donghae, your boyfriend is really scary just now. I haven’t seen Hyukjae like that before” Kyuhyun started after they’re sure Hyukjae is out of sight

“He’s actually very hot and y when he did that” Sungmin chirped which earned a growl from his boyfriend “what? It’s true though” Sungmin feigned innocence, blinking and pouting.

“Boyfriend?” Donghae mumbled.

“Okay guys, it’s 5 minutes to midnight. Let’s all gather up to welcome the New Year!” They all stood up and went to the garden to get ready for the countdown and fireworks.

“Hey Donghae, go find your boyfriend. Leeteuk wants us all out in the garden” Kangin joked as they left for the garden.

Donghae looked around the house, trying to find Hyukjae for the second time tonight. He went up the second floor and look for him in each room. Finally, he saw the brunette knocked out, sprawled on the bed of one of the rooms at the end of the hallway. He approached the older, sitting on the side of the bed to try to wake him up. He nudged at his shoulder but no response.

“Hyukjae, wake up. It’ll be New Year in a few minutes and we’re starting the countdown. Leeteuk hyung wants everyone in the garden” He kept shaking the guy but to no avail, he’s still asleep.

He sighed. He could hear the soft snoring of the brunette. His chest rising and falling in a peaceful rhythm and his face so serene. He stared at the guy, watching his face as he stirred a little before falling into deep slumber once again. He chuckled. “Boyfriend?” He tried to think of what their friends called Hyukjae earlier.

Their friends always tease them about being a couple because they are inseparable. In the office, you will always see them together fooling around, bickering or just doing their job even though they work at different departments. It is just so natural to see them together even outside of work. Maybe it is because they share the same hobbies and interests. Even then, Donghae only thinks of them as bestfriends. Having romantic relationship with him is something that never crossed his mind even though Hyukjae sometimes treat him too nicely. Like how he always makes sure to get Donghae his Americano every morning or when he’s too protective when someone offers Donghae an alcohol just like what happened earlier. Donghae is grateful that the brunette knows him very well. He thinks Hyukjae does it because he’s just naturally sweet and caring.

He once again brush the back of his hand to the brunette’s cheek as he reminisces the sweet things Hyukjae did for him. “Is that you subtly showing me your feelings? Were you doing all those things for me because you like me and not just because you’re nice?” Thinking about it, he never saw Hyukjae doing those things to their other friends. He never buys them anything. That’s why they call him stingy. He chuckled at the thought because he remembers their friends complaining why Hyukjae always only bought things for me but none for them, to which the brunette will respond that it’s because Donghae is an angel who is nice to him but they are all evil who make fun of him. He actually doesn’t like it when their friends tease Hyukjae. They like to make fun of his appearance. Although it’s just a joke, Donghae knows he felt sad and thus, he thinks he’s ugly to which the younger highly disagree. For him, Hyukjae is handsome. He has very unique features and don’t even get him started with his jawline and plump lips.

“Do you really love me?” He mumbled. “I… I don’t want to hurt you. I’m not sure if I can return the feelings you have for me but…” He reached out and placed his hand on the other’s chest, feeling his heartbeat. “I guess I wouldn’t mind if it’s you. I am willing try for you because you are also special to me” His smile turned into a frown as the brunette shifted a little and saw dried tears on his face.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you. I really didn’t know what to say earlier. I… I guess I never expected it” He caressed the other’s cheek as he wiped off a tear stained on his face. “Don’t cry because of me. I don’t like seeing you cry”

He heard the others cheered as fireworks exploded in the sky and loud cries of Happy New Year were heard outside. He brought himself closer to the brunette before leaning in to place a chaste kiss on his cheek. “Happy New Year Lee Hyukjae. I’ll start this year by making it up to you.”

He tucked himself beside the older and snuggled real close. He close his eyes to sleep, a contented smile never leaving his face.

Hyukjae woke up a few hours later. He tried opening his eyes but was met by a pain in his head. “in’ headache” He tried sitting up but he felt a weight beside him. He look beside him and saw black strands almost touching his face. He scooted a little and the person beside him stirred a little. His eyes widened when he realized it was Donghae. All the pain in his head disappeared as he saw the face of an angel. His angel.

“What the… what happened? Why is he here?” He panicked a little as he tried remembering what happened last night. That’s when he remembered he told Donghae he loves him. He gawked again. He slowly stood up, careful enough not to wake the younger and walked out to the balcony.

“OMG! He knew?!?! What the Hyukjae. How can you be so stupid?” He pulled on his hair in an attempt to punish himself for being stupid.

“How can you tell him!? How can….” He suddenly stopped as realization hits him. “So he knew. If he knew, then what is he doing here? Why is he…?”

As Hyukjae was busy talking to himself, he failed to notice the younger waking up. The younger chuckled seeing Hyukjae in a mess. He pushed himself up and walked outside to stand beside the brunette. He stared at him with those eyes that could melt Lee Hyukjae in an instant and that only made him more confused. Donghae laughed as he can see the wheels spinning in Hyukjae’s head trying to figure out what exactly is happening. After a moment, the brunette sighed. He can’t help but be relieve because what happened last night, what’s important is that Donghae is happy. He was so scared the younger will ignore him after what happened.

Once Donghae stopped laughing, he stared at Hyukjae again, but this time he decided to talk. “Good Morning Hyukie” He beamed. “Did you sleep well? Are you okay? How about headache?” He slowly reached out to Hyukjae’s head to massage his temple and scalp which almost caused Hyukjae to let out a satisfied moan. “Hyukie?”

“I’m fine. I guess?” Donghae stopped what he’s doing and furrowed his eyebrows “I mean, I’m just confused. After what happened last night, I’m surprised you’re actually still here.” With that, Dongae retracted his hands and sighed.

“Well, about that. I actually wanted to apologize. I didn’t know what to say because it was too sudden. Though you should have waited for me to process it and let me talk instead of you going ahead of me” He pouted, then continue explaining “I never expected it to be honest. We have never talked about it before.” Hyukjae’s chest is so close to bursting because his heart is pounding too much. He’s so nervous about what he is about to hear. He thinks he won’t be able to handle the rejection well. Donghae see through him right now and he chuckled. “Relaxed Hyukjae, Let me finish first.”

“How can you expect me to relax when I’m practically here waiting for my sentence” Hyukjae retorted, his hands are shaking from nervousness. Donghae chuckled again before reaching out for Hyukjae’s hands, softly caressing them with his thumbs.

“Oksy, so let me continue now…” Hyukjae just nodded “Last night, after you told me about it I was left to think. Of course I’m confused. I mean, we’ve been friends for so long. I always thought of you as my bestfriend. I’m always comfortable around you and it’s very easy and fun to be with you. The thought of being romantically involved with you didn’t cross my mind. I didn’t even know that you swing that way.” With that, Donghae blushed a little “I mean, com’on. You always have girls around you” At that thought, he frowned. “So when you told me you love me I was really lost, but then I realized something after I found you lying here, passed out. You cried because of me and I didn’t like that. I realized you are also special to me.” Hyukjae was stunned. “I’m not sure if I can love you the way you want me to but I know that I like you and that I wouldn’t mind it if it’s you”

Hyukjae’s eyes literally went wide his eyeballs almost popped out. “Are you saying…?”

“Our friends keep calling you my boyfriend and when I think about it, it’s actually not that bad. I wouldn’t mind being your boyfriend because it’s you.” He smiled before he brought his hand to the right of Hyukjae’s cheeks and caress it.

“So what I’m saying is… You don’t have to hide your feelings anymore, Lee Hyukjae. I hate seeing you cry, especially if the reason me. I wanted to punch myself when I saw your tear-stained face earlier so… please don’t cry because of me.”

Donghae reached for his hand before asking, “Should we go on a date?” He smiled his gentle smile to show him he means it.

Hyukjae couldn’t believe what he’s hearing. He kept staring at the younger trying to process everything he heard.

A smile then broke on his face. He mimicked the other by brushing his thumbs on the younger’s hands. He squeezed them a little before hugging the younger and burying his face on the other’s neck. “Of course, you idiot. I’ve been dreaming of this day for so long” He tightened his hug while mumbling incoherent words to the younger. “Well, now I’m here to make all your dreams come true”

Behind them, the sun is slowly peeking from behind the clouds, illuminating the sky with a gorgeous hue of yellow and orange. Donghae turned his head to watch the sunrise “Whoa…it’s beautiful” he stated. Hyukjae pulled back just enough to let the younger turn his body towards the view.

“Yeah… indeed. Very beautiful” Hyukjae said, all the while still looking at the younger, eyes capturing every bit of the other’s face.

-- The End --