This is bad. This is really bad.

I'm starting to crack for real, she's penetrating through my walls.

What if I end up blurting my secret next?

All that I've worked for, all that I risked and gambled--my money, my reputation--will go up in smoke.

Not to mention my looks.

I got back to the lab people right after I my lunch with her. They didn't have good news.

"We still have to tweak the formula and supplies are running low..."

Dang it, we're so close! I can feel it! If I only had half of their knowledge I'd get down on the task myself and I bet you I'd have the formula perfected before you could say Eureka.

But...I cannot...I have to rely on them.

I hate dependence.

And that's what I'm afraid will happen with Jisoo. I'm lapsing back into old familiarity.

I want her, badly.

Just imagining her silky skin brushing against my fingers sends pleasurable waves all along my body. My hand itches to touch her now.

Heh, I sound like some erted maniac huh?

When we had been dating, we had never gotten far enough to sleep together.

And now that want, that need, is surfacing once more and it's fraying my nerves. just isn't enough. And hook-ups are dangerous for the level-headed image I need to project for my company to prosper and build solid foundations. Unlike what my wretched excuse of a father did....

Things have changed too much to just claim her. And I'm sure she has her own secrets, which is why I have to be more careful.

It's just too much of a coincidence that she's suddenly made her way here and trying to be all friendly with me again. Too much of a coincidence.... and she keeps looking at me, as if dissecting me, analysing me, sizing me up.....

I don't even know why I even started telling her about my cancer. That was a thing of the past, and it will preferably stay there.

But she is the only one who could understand what I was going through, since she is the only one who shares the same beauty as me, much as I hate to admit. She would understand why I couldn't settle for ordinary treatment that would leave me scarred anyway.

I have carried the secret of my recovery for all this time and never told a single soul, not even those boffins in the labs...I guess I felt like boasting to someone.

I actually wanted to shout it to the whole world that I, Kim Seokjin, am a frigging walking miracle, and handsome to boot.

But if I do that....yeah.

It's complicated. I told you before.

You know, lately I'm getting tired of just talking at you and you don't say anything. Just staring back at me, mouth moving when I speak.

I think I prefer talking with Chu. Even though it's as if I'm treading on shattered glass around her....

I just want her back.

I just want her to go.

What do I really want?....

Her soft, milky skin. That smooth body. Freshly-dyed glossy black hair. Red kissable lips.

Everything.

Flawless goddess.

I imagine her body on mine, melting like warm clay against my skin, her supple s pressing against my chest...

I can almost taste her. I know she tastes perfect.

I feel like screaming. 

She's so close, yet so far.

God, what does she really want from me?

Why is she here to torment me with those eyes that pierce into my very soul? Those heart-shaped lips are slowly pushing me to the brink, no matter what I do to chase away her face from my mind.

I have to focus. I need to keep my eyes on what's important.

Nobody must know about my precious. That is more important than her....

Right?

SAY SOMETHING DAMN IT!