w h a t  i s  l o v e ; 

“How is everything, Eunji? Are your friends treating you well?” Donghae asks as he pops a few items—strawberries, bananas, chia seeds and kale, his favourite combination—into a blender and turns it on. The loud whirring sound that comes from it makes him take a step back, his phone resting on one ear and his hand covering the other.

Eunji sighs. “Yes, appa. For the millionth time, my friends are the best, and no they haven’t been bullying me. School’s great. I do miss home, though. I wish I could spend Hyukkie appa’s birthday with both of you.”

Donghae flips the switch and in an instant, the room is quiet again. He uncaps the blender and empties its contents into a large glass before the remnants of his smoothie off the tip of the container.

“I’m just worried, y’know, as dads are. You’re my only daughter and you’re out there in Canada, living and studying alone.” He frowns. He can hear Eunji whine softly, but he chooses to ignore it, placing the empty container in the sink. Kids will never understand their parents’ worries.

“I’m 19, appa. I can take care of myself. Don’t worry, okay?” Eunji reassures. “And besides, at least this gives you some alone time with Hyukkie appa on his birthday! Speaking of which, I left something at the bottom of my wardrobe for you. I want you to use it when you celebrate his birthday later.”

Donghae freezes mid-smoothie drinking. His mind runs wild. What on earth could his daughter be insinuating at? What did she leave behind for him to use with Hyukjae?

“I…” He struggles to find words without sounding awkward, setting his glass onto a coaster. “W-what is it, Eunji?”

“You’ll see! I’m not going to tell you anything. I want you to find out for yourself.”

“I gotta be honest, Eunji, I am not liking the sound of this.”

“Oh c’mon, appa. It’ll be fun! Trust me.”

Donghae is cautious at first, but then he can’t help but to smile at the fact that he could hear the excitement in his daughter’s voice. He stares blankly at his glass and tries not to think too much into it.

“Anyway, appa. I have to go to sleep now. I’ve got class early in the morning and if I don’t sleep now, I’ll be late.” Eunji starts to pack her books in time for bed.

Donghae narrows his brows. “I told you to bring The Little Prince with you. That book knocks you out like a charm.”

“You seem to be forgetting I’m no longer 5, appa.”

“Well regardless how old you are, you’re still my baby girl.” Donghae says softly. He glances at the clock; it’s 3:10 PM in Seoul, which means it’s approximately 10 at night in Vancouver. He waits for Eunji to say something.

Eunji laughs, partly out of embarrassment. “I know, appa. You never let me forget that. I’ll call Hyukkie appa when I’m awake to wish him happy birthday, okay? I’m going to head to bed. Goodnight, appa! I love and miss you both so, so much. Help me wish Hyukkie appa happy birthday, okay?”

“I will. Goodnight, sweetheart. I love and miss you too.” The line cuts. Donghae places his phone on the table and continues drinking his smoothie, smiling to himself.

Just then, the sound of a door getting unlocked echoes through the hallway and out of the bedroom bursts Hyukjae, dressed in a white dress shirt and khaki brown chinos. He pulls his sleeves over his palms and makes his way to the kitchen silently, smiling back at the man hunched over the table that is already smiling at him.

“You look good,” Donghae compliments, sizing his husband up. “Ready for our date?”

Hyukjae nods, beaming. “Mm. Don’t know why but I feel kinda nervous not having Eunji with us this time. Did you just get off the phone with her?”

“Yes, jagiya.” Donghae answers simply, placing his glass in the sink next to the empty container. He wipes his hands on a towel hanging next to the sink and turns. “She says she loves and misses you. Oh and she says happy birthday. She’ll call you later.”

Hyukjae sighs. “Our daughter is all grown up.”

“Indeed,” Donghae agrees, inching towards him. He wraps his arms around Hyukjae’s waist and pulls him in, pressing their bodies taut against each other before stealing a soft, loving kiss. Hyukjae gasps, surprised at first before melting into Donghae’s arms like silly putty. He breaks away gently and smiles, staring deeply into the eyes of his husband of ten years. Donghae grins.

“Happy birthday, my love.” He wishes, planting a kiss on Hyukjae’s cheek. He watches contentedly as the apples of Hyukjae’s cheek turn a soft glow of pink. Even after fourteen years, Hyukjae still blushes around him, and he finds that incredibly endearing.

They leave the house soon after, making their way towards a little cafe tucked away in the corner of the Dongdaemun district.

Thankfully, the weather is very cooperative today. The sun seems to be shining brighter than it has been the past week, painting everything under its glow a bright shade of yellow. The sky is equally as bright and as picturesque as the paintings you’d see in a museum. It’s almost as if the sun and sky know it’s Hyukjae’s birthday and are here to celebrate it with them.

Hyukjae and Donghae enter the cafe hand in hand, exchanging looks of comfort and happiness between them. Hyukjae nearly settles for a table near the window, but a tall burly man with a surprisingly high-pitched voice stands in his way.

“Donghae-ssi!” The man chirps, smiling and nodding at Donghae, and then at Hyukjae. “I’m happy you’re here. Let me show you to your special room. Oh and Hyukjae-ssi; happy birthday!”

Hyukjae looks at the man quizzically before turning to Donghae for answers, but Donghae only winks, offering no explanation.

They follow the man to the back of the cafe, up a flight of stairs and onto the second floor, where the man opens a secret door that camouflages with the floral wallpapers of the cafe. They enter the secret room.

“Omo,” Hyukjae gasps, covering his mouth. The room is beautiful; its walls are of an off-white shade unlike the rest of the cafe, and adorned with hundreds of flowers hanging from artificial vines surrounding a window and wooden planters nailed into the wall. In the middle of the room, there is a mahogany table for two, with a fancy candle in the centre. The man ushers them to sit down before lighting the candle and pouring water into two glasses. As he leaves, he dims the lighting and smiles.

“Your food is on its way!” He says brightly before closing the door behind him.

Hyukjae blinks at Donghae, puzzled.

“What’s all this about?” He asks, tilting his head. Donghae fiddles with a napkin on the table and smiles, avoiding his husband’s eyes. He knows it’s been more than a decade, but just like Hyukjae, his cheeks still burn up under Hyukjae’s gaze.

“It’s your birthday,” he says gently, unable to hide the grin that stretches his lips wide. “I want today to be amazing.”

Hyukjae pouts a little. “Today would be amazing even if we were at home cooking and spending the day lazing around, Hae. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on me for my birthday to be great. Being with you is enough.”

Donghae finally looks up, rolling his eyes. He isn’t surprised Hyukjae had said that of course; Hyukjae has always been the more frugal one between them, but today is special. Money means nothing today.

“It’s our tenth wedding anniversary today too, Hyuk. I can’t spend today making you eat my terrible cooking.”

Hyukjae laughs. “Your cooking isn’t terrible. I’ve been eating it for over a decade and I’m still alive, so it can’t be that bad. Also—” Hyukjae pauses, distracted by the flicker of the candle flame, “—I almost forgot it’s been ten years. You’ve spent an entire decade married to me, Hae. Any regrets?”

Donghae’s mouth falls open.

“Regrets?” He repeats, slack-jawed, offended even. “My only regret is not marrying you sooner. Apart from that, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Hyukjae almost pretends to choke, embarrassed at his husband’s cheesy words, but as soon as he begins his act, the door swings open. A waiter approaches the table with two plates of food, a mouth-watering fragrance wafting through the air.

“Spaghetti con le vongole for Donghae-ssi, and our classic lasagna for the birthday boy,” the waiter says as he sets their plates down in front of them. “Enjoy your meal!” He twirls dramatically, exiting the room.

Hyukjae folds his arms. “You orchestrated all of this, huh.” He shakes his head and places a napkin on his lap. “You even ordered my favourite dish because you know I’d stop grumbling once I take a bite.”

“I know you like the back of my hand,” Donghae winks, picking up his utensils. They dig into their food, and Donghae steals a glance at his husband who is shimmying delightfully in his seat upon his first bite of lasagna. It’s things like these that remind Donghae how much he adores the man in front of him.

Donghae swallows his food and sets his fork down gently, striking conversation. “Do you remember how we first met?”

“Of course,” Hyukjae answers, his voice muffled by the load of lasagna he’d stuffed into his mouth. “How could I forget? That Choi Siwon and his conniving tricks.”

“It’s one of his conniving tricks that led us to where we are now,” Donghae reminds. “I still remember how I felt when I first saw you. The moment you opened the door, I knew you’d be someone special.”

Hyukjae chokes, for real this time. He picks up his glass and takes a sip before reaching out to touch Donghae’s hand.

“Why are—” he coughs, “—you being so sweet today?”

Donghae raises Hyukjae’s hand to his lips and kisses it tenderly. “You deserve it. You deserve all of it.”

“But why?”

“Because,” Donghae begins, “fourteen years ago I walked into your life not knowing what to expect, and fourteen years ago, you let me into your house—and heart—not knowing what to expect either, but you ended up making me the happiest man in the world.”

Hyukjae bites his lip. “I could say the same for you.”

“That’s not all.” Donghae drinks some water and continues. “When I turned up at your house in a magician’s outfit and my heart on my sleeve, little Eunji—small, sweet five-year-old Eunji came to me after the magic show and whispered some things into my ear.”

Hyukjae leans forward. “What did she say?”

“She said, and I quote: 'Appa has no friends. He only has Uncle Siwon, but Uncle Siwon is busy. He’s lonely. Will you be appa’s friend?'” Donghae pauses and clears his throat. “When I told her I’d be glad to, she said, 'I think you will make appa happy. You make me happy too.' Right at that moment I looked up, and you were already looking at me. And I just knew I had to do something.”

There is a brief silence. Hyukjae chews his food as quietly as possible, deep in thought.

“What are you thinking about?” Donghae asks.

“I’m thinking about how worried I was all those years, that Eunji would grow up wanting a mother and not understanding that I can’t give her that. Siwon was right all along though; she’s always been a smart girl. She knew you’d be her father before I did.”

“Well I’m glad you agreed to go out with me. I can’t imagine how awkward it would’ve been if you’d let me read a book to Eunji and then stay over for the night, only to reject my advances. Lady Luck was with me that night.”

“Lady Luck was a tall man named Choi Siwon,” Hyukjae jokes.

Another brief silence envelopes them as they finish up their food. It’s a very comfortable silence; a silence so familiar and filled with warmth that it draws them together through invisible strings that connect their hearts, even when they aren’t speaking. As soon as Donghae finishes his food, he excuses himself.

“I’ll be right back,” he says, picking up a paper bag that he’d brought from home before leaving for the washroom.

Hyukjae sits in silence, caught in a repetition of chewing and swallowing until he’d completely devoured his lasagna. He his fork and contemplates the plate—the lasagna is that amazing—but decides against it on grounds that this isn’t home. He picks up his phone and presses the home button. When the screen lights up, he stares lovingly at his lockscreen, a picture of Donghae beaming at the camera from when they first stepped into this cafe fourteen years ago. He counts his lucky stars that this cafe is still up and running, because it serves not only a heavenly plate of lasagna, but memories of their love.

The door opens nearly fifteen to twenty minutes later, and Hyukjae’s eyes widen the size of the moon. He erupts in belly laughter, folding over slightly.

“Oh my god, Hae!” Hyukjae chortles, covering his gummy smile with the back of his hand. “What on earth are you doing?!”

Standing in the doorway clad in a top hat, a black blazer and matching pants with a white undershirt and boots is Donghae. His teeth are gritted, biting a rose, and the paper bag he’d carried out earlier is nowhere to be seen. Instead, nestled in the palm of his hands is a blue, velvet box; a rather long, rectangular one, though. He closes the door behind him and takes slow and steady steps towards Hyukjae, kneeling on one knee next to him.

“My sweet, sweet husband, Lee Hyukjae,” he says dotingly, dropping the rose from his lips, “will you—” he pries the box open, revealing some sort of paper, “go to Vancouver to see our daughter with me?”

Hyukjae looks at the contents of the box, only just realising that the “papers” in it are actually some sort of boarding passes, probably to Canada. He smiles.

“Stupid question,” Hyukjae tuts, rolling his eyes playfully. “Of course I’ll go with you, .”

Donghae heaves a sigh of relief. “Phew. After we visit Eunji, let’s travel for a bit; I already called your boss to ask him to let you take the next three weeks off. He approves.”

“Oh my goodness, Hae,” Hyukjae gets off his chair and kneels in front of Donghae, pulling him up. “How can I not love you?”

Donghae puts his top hat on the table and touches Hyukjae’s face gingerly, pursing his lips together. “You can’t not love me. You aren’t allowed to. You have to love me for all of eterni—”

Hyukjae silences him with a kiss, eyes shut, opening his mouth gently to invite Donghae’s tongue, to which Donghae gladly obliges. Donghae smiles against Hyukjae’s lips, opening his eyes slowly before pulling away.

“I love you,” he says for probably the hundredth time that day. “I love you so much. Also, I can taste your lasagna.”

“Shut up.” Hyukjae scolds. His shoulders tense up for a brief moment, before falling. “I love you too, Hae.”

They look over at the table next to them.

“Can we…” Hyukjae trails off and bites his lip, hesitant. Donghae scrunches his face quizzically.

“Can we order dessert?”

Donghae stifles a laugh. “Of course, Hyuk. Anything for you.”

“Good, ‘cause if you said no I’d call off the visit to Vancouver. I want strawberry cake.”

They resume the rest of their intimate date in the fancy room in the little cafe tucked in the corner of the Dongdaemun district, making more memories.

That night, they decide to spend their evening wrapped around each other, making up for every second they’d spent away from each other because of work. They plant fervernt kisses all over each other’s bodies and share special memories in between each kiss, reminiscing and teasing each other over how silly and naive their young selves had been. They look through photos of their journey together and smile—there couldn’t have been a better way for them to spend Hyukjae’s birthday and their tenth wedding anniversary together, really.

Just then, Hyukjae’s phone rings.

“Appa! Happy birthday!” Eunji chirps over the loudspeaker. Hyukjae doesn’t even try to conceal his happiness, grinning so wide the pink of his gums show like dancers behind a stage curtain. “I’m sorry I couldn’t have called you sooner.”

“It’s okay, Eunji. I understand,” Hyukjae turns to look at Donghae, who is now combing his fingers through Hyukjae’s hair. “Thank you for the little surprise, Eunji. Your father looked good in that magician’s outfit. Felt like a blast to the past. Reminds me why I loved your father in the first place.”

Eunji is smiling from the other side of the world. “I knew you’d love it! Hae appa was hesitant about it at first. I could hear it in his voice!”

Donghae tenses slightly at the mention of his name before burying his face in Hyukjae’s shoulder.

“Anyway appa, I’m on my way to class right now. I’m so sorry I have to cut the call short, but I’ll make it up to you when you arrive in Vancouver in, what, t-2 days? I love you both!”

“We love you too, Eunji.” Donghae says aloud. “Have a good day in school. Can’t wait to see you on Wednesday.”

“Bye, appa!”

“Bye, Eunji.”

Hyukjae places his phone on the bedside table and returns to Donghae’s side, snaking his arms around his husband. “Where were we?”

They continue to kiss and nuzzle at every corner of each other’s bodies gently, each touch sending small shocks of electric through each other’s veins. Donghae pulls away suddenly and stares at Hyukjae.

“You know, before I met you, I was a very confused man. I didn’t know what love was.” He nuzzles Hyukjae’s cheek with his nose and then pecks him. Hyukjae doesn’t take his eyes off Donghae, not even for a splitsecond. He waits for Donghae to continue, which he does.

“I’d had my heart broken so many times I thought I’d wind up alone for the rest of my life. I sealed myself off, but somehow.. When I saw you for the first time, my walls fell. I saw you, the father of the birthday girl, and almost instantly knew I wanted to love you and be loved by you. And here we are.”

Hyukjae kisses Donghae’s ear.

“You erased the loneliness I felt the moment I saw you reading The Little Prince to Eunji,” he whispered. “When I saw that, I knew I wanted to love you and be loved by you, too. And it worked out. It all worked out.”

“So I guess neither of us have to worry about it, ever again, huh.”

Hyukjae scrunches his nose. “Worry about what?”

Donghae rubs his nose against Hyukjae’s. “About love. What is love?”

“I swear to god if you ruin the moment and say baby don't hurt me I’ll—”

Donghae bites Hyukjae’s lower lip and smiles.

“No, Hyuk,” he says softly. “I’m serious. What is love?”

Hyukjae smiles back.

“This,” he kisses Donghae on the lips, hard. Then he breaks the kiss gently, and the two of them are staring into each other’s souls; souls that they’d learnt to bare to each other slowly but surely over the past fourteen years. Hyukjae traces a finger over Donghae’s chest, near his heart.

“This is love.”

THIS FIC IS PART OF A 2-PART SERIES:

Magic | What is Love? (Sequel)