Chapter 4

October 2016 – 4 weeks later

The windows are fogging up from the warm cooking fumes spreading in the small kitchen. The only light source is the streetlight outside and the faint light of the gas stove. It was still dark outside and gloomy inside the apartment. She liked it this way. As long as she could see her fingers while chopping vegetables, she saw enough. It was 16 minutes past four in the morning. Her mother would come home from her nightshift soon and Soyeon felt obligated to support her in her hard work. Even if all she could do was to prepare a meal every morning, so her mother could eat something before going to sleep.

Humming to herself she refilled the rice cooker and threw the chopped vegetables in the pan. Then she took the left-over chicken from the day before out of the fridge and cut it in small pieces. After dumping half of the meat on her plate she threw the rest in the pan. Soyeon hated vegetables. She often tried to eat other vegetables or fruit than corn and tangerines, but it only led to her almost puking everything back out again. Which meant that her diet was somewhat restricted. But with meat, rice and whatever else she could find in the pantry she could survive.

After preparing both plates, she took her favourite hot sauce out of the cupboard and sat down on the windowsill with crossed legs. Soyeon polished the water vapor off the glass to look outside. She had always liked to watch the sunrise while eating her breakfast. There was something magical about the way the light slowly crept into the world and the birds started chirping in the trees.

Keys turned in the door lock and she heard her mother enter the hallway. The familiar sound of a bag being dropped on the floor, a jacket being hung on the clothes rack and feet shuffling towards the kitchen could be heard. Soyeon jumped off the window sill, her mother didn’t like her to sit on it, and placed a pair of chopsticks next to her mother’s plate.

“Good morning Soyeon”, her mother greeted her and pulled her into a loving hug. “Thanks for making breakfast.”

“No need to thank me mum”, she answered with a soft smile.

“You better hop under the shower now. You mustn’t miss the train!”

With a half amused, half annoyed scoff Soyeon dismisses her mother’s directions. “I already showered, and the train is coming in 30 minutes. I wanted to talk to you.”

Her mother looked up at her expectantly. “I’ll keep eating if that’s okay for you”, she announced and waited for Soyeon to start. “Uhm, so I thought about moving to the dorms. The train ride is so long, and I could use the time to improve and practice and being around other trainees would surely help in getting to know everyone and improve my social skills. And I could train whenever I want to. Also, it’d be less expensive. The costs for housing and food and all that would go towards my trainee debt.” Soyeon stopped her stream of words and tried to gauge her mother’s reaction with a worried expression.

“You want to move to the company?”

“Yes.”

“Well seems like you thought about it quite a bit. Okay.”

“Wait. That’s it? I can move into the dorms?”, Soyeon asked astonished. She expected her mother to show more resistance to the notion of her moving out.

“Yes. We let you pursue your dream of becoming an idol and up to now you have done well. There’s no reason to hold you back now. As long as you give it your all and really want to do this, we got your back”, came the heartfelt answer.

“Thank you!”, Soyeon felt a heavy weight fall off her shoulders. She brought her mum into another hug. “Time to hit the shower”, she said with an impish grin.

“I thought you showered already!”, her mother exclaimed in a playfully upset voice. Not showing any reaction to her mother’s outrage Soyeon fled to the bathroom.

Half an hour later she sat in the train on the way to central Seoul. She had been forced to run to the station with wet hair and it was unusually cold outside for the time of year. She could almost feel herself becoming sick as it happened. But the wet hair and running had been worth it. She had her big suitcase next to her and the paperwork with her mother’s signature in the pocket of her jacket. Finally, I can move to the company. No more hour-long train rides in the morning. And I’ll be around Yuqi all day long. Yuqi?! Urgh, get a grip Jeon Soyeon. This is getting ridiculous.

To distract herself from her thoughts she opened her notebook. The first thing she saw were 29 different acrostic poems with Yuqi’s name. She did those last night when she lay in bed waiting for sleep. Arguably they were good practice since she needed to improve her active vocabulary and have it easily accessible in case she had to make up lyrics on the spot. And in general, it was a very useful skill to have. So, in the end it was just practice. Nothing else.

As if. That was the renegade voice in her head. She had fought with it for the last weeks. But somehow couldn’t disregard it completely. And it was getting louder and louder. You have a huge crush on her. And you’re too much of a coward to even acknowledge it. Not even talking about doing something about it. You’re pathetic Jeon Soyeon.

With an irritated huff she threw the notebook into her backpack. Why? Just, why am I attracted to some girl I know for only a month. I mean she’s incredibly cute, good at dancing, her voice is amazing and now that the ice is broken, she can be really funny and down to earth. But other than that? And what’s the harm in getting to know her better. Everyone needs friends, right? I can live with an ordinary friendship. The pesky voice was back. That’s quitter talk and you know that you want a slight little bit more than just friendship. And when was the last time you quit on something anyways? If you want something you work for it. So, pull yourself up and call her!

Before she knew it, she already had her phone in hand and had typed out Yuqi’s number. Ironically enough she was usually bad with remembering numbers, but with this one she had no issue recalling it whatsoever. With a deep breath she gathered all the courage she could muster and hit the call button.

Yuqi picked up almost immediately: “Oh, hey Soyeon.”

“Hey.” Soyeon greeted her with uncertainty. “I am sitting on the train and I just felt like calling you. I hope I didn’t wake you up or anything”

“Oh, no. I am jogging with Elkie. We are just about to buy Yoghurt.”

“Yoghurt? Why are you buying Yoghurt?”

“It’s a long story. How are you?”

“I am great. My mum just agreed to let me move to the company. I’ll be moving in today.”

“Wow! Really? That’s awesome. So, we’ll be neighbours soon”, Yuqi chuckled. “Well, I have to go. Elkie is already getting impatient. Is there anything else you wanted?”

“No. No, I just wanted to hear your voice”, Soyeon said absentminded. Wait! Did I just really say that?

“Uhm… Okay. See you later then”, Yuqi said cheerily.

“Yeah. See you.”

Soyeon let herself sink deeper into the train seat. I am hopeless. What was I even saying? ‘I am great’? What kind of answer is that? ‘I just wanted to hear your voice’? That doesn’t sound creepy at all. Or worse like you have a crush on her. Urgh. She covered her face with her hands and tried hard to forget this phone call ever happened. She decided that it was probably better to pass the time with writing lyrics. And so, she grabbed her pen and buried her nose in the notebook, while the suburbs of Seoul passed by outside.

Soyeon couldn’t suppress her smile as she entered the lobby. With a triumphant grin she smacked the signed piece of paper on Chulmoo’s counter. “I can move in!”, she declared joyfully. Chulmoo laughed as Soyeon celebrated her success with a wiggling dance.

“I see, you came prepared”, he pointed at her big suitcase. He looked over the paperwork.  “Looks like everything is in order. The management has already nodded everything off. You know the way to the dorms. This is your room key. Your roommate is Miyeon. Try to get along with her, alright?”

“I get along with everyone!”, Soyeon answered in a bashful way. Chulmoo just gave her a doubtful smirk.

Whistling, she marched off towards the dorms. She was glad that her mother wouldn’t have to provide for her anymore. It was harsh enough on her with the nightshifts and looking after every won while having to feed and clothe both her and her sister. But right now, wasn’t the time to mull over her family’s financial situation.

Turning the key in the lock she opened the door. Miyeon sat at the table and was painting her nails. She seemed to be too focused on her precision work to realize that someone had entered the room. Soyeon cleared audibly to make herself known. Miyeon almost jumped off the chair as she was taken by surprise by the sudden sound behind her. With a high squeak she snapped around and painted a broad of nail polish over the back of her hand. With wide eyes she stared at Soyeon.
“Uhm, hi Miyeon. I guess they didn’t tell you I’d be your roommate?”, Soyeon greeted her.

“Oh! You scared me Soyeon! Phew”, taking a few deep breaths Miyeon tried to calm her nerves. “Oh no”, she sighed heavily and looked at the long stripe of nail-polish over her hand.

“Sorry. I should’ve knocked or something. That should go away with a bit of nail polish remover.”

Miyeon pouted and stood up to get her cosmetic bag. Soyeon stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, her suitcase and backpack behind her. I’ll just let her do her thing and move in and unpack. Alright, let’s see. Soyeon started pulling various clothes out of her suitcase and threw them into the wardrobe on her side.

“You should fold your clothes”, Miyeon interrupted her. “Otherwise they will get all crumpled.”

Looking at Soyeon’s less than impressed reaction to her suggestion she avoided eye contact and went back to removing the nail-polish without another comment. She seems nice and adorably clumsy. But I really hope she can leave people alone. If she’s going to crowd me all the time, I’ll go insane.

“Do you want to go to breakfast together?”, Miyeon asked her hesitantly. Alright Soyeon. Deep breaths now. Don’t let yourself be upset by her. She’s just trying to make friends and you should too.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll be ready in three minutes.”

“Great!”, Miyeon exclaimed joyfully. Soyeon couldn’t help but be infected by her enthusiasm. She seemed so happy and excited, while removing the nail-polish from the back of her hand. I can’t stay mad. She’s just too clumsy and goofy. With a soft chuckle Soyeon sorted the rest of her belongings into the wardrobe.

“I am ready now.”

“Coming. I guess I won’t get any more nail-polish off”, Miyeon commented and pouted at her hand. There was still a faint line of blue visible on the back of her hand.

“It’ll be gone in a day or two. Just leave it. That’s better than drenching your hand in this chemical stuff.”

“You’re probably right”, Miyeon nodded and smiled. “So! Let’s go. I am starving.”

I am not starving. But eating is always great. Also, I should find Soojin and tell her that I moved in. Wait. This is Yuqi and Minnie’s door. I wonder if they’re already over at breakfast.

“Wait a second. I’ll see if two friends of mine want to join us.”

“Sure”, came the immediate answer. Miyeon skipped and jumped ahead.

She is way too active for my taste. I doubt I’ll ever get a silent minute with her around. Anyways. Here goes nothing. She knocked on the door. “Hey! It’s me Soyeon”, she announced herself.

The door opened up and Minnie grinned at her. “Hey, Soyeon. What’s up?”

“I just came by to ask you guys, if you want to go to breakfast with Miyeon and me.”

“Miyeon?”

“Yeah, we’re roommates now.”

“Ah, Yuqi mentioned that you were moving in today. I’ll be right with you. But Yuqi is still under the shower. She’ll probably need a few minutes more.”

“Oh, alright”, Soyeon answered. “I’ll just wait for her then.”

Minnie looked at her with a slight frown.

“Hey Minnie!”, Miyeon greeted her from the hallway. “Are we going now?”, she asked expectantly.

“No. We’re waiting for Yuqi”, Soyeon answered.

“Come on inside”, Minnie said and held the door open. Soyeon and Miyeon entered and took a seat on the two wooden chairs. An awkward silence spread that was only interrupted when Yuqi arrived.

“Oh! Good morning Soyeon”, she greeted her friend. Soyeon just stared at her. Why is she only wearing a towel? This is not good. . Am I blushing? Soyeon slowly started to panic. She got caught more than once reacting in a less than ordinary way to Yuqi. Which she was trying her best to avoid. Not only was it embarrassing but really no one needed to know about her infatuation. Afterall she didn’t even know how to deal with it herself.

Yuqi was distracted by Miyeon and mustered her with a slightly puzzled look. “Uhm. Hey. I’m Yuqi.” She offered her hand in greeting.

“Nice to meet you! I’m Miyeon. We saw each other on the hallways, and I think we also have vocal lessons together from time to time”, Miyeon cheerfully greeted the younger trainee.

Can Yuqi please keep her hand on the towel!? This is too much. I have to get out of here. If this towel drops, I’ll turn redder than a tomato and stare at her until the last idiot gets that I like her way too much.

“We’ll wait outside”, she said loudly and grabbed Miyeon by the elbow. Dragging her out of the room she fled onto the hallway. Miyeon was clearly perplexed but didn’t resist.

Soyeon sat down on the heaters lining the windowed side of the building. I really need to decide what I want. This is nerve-wrecking. Being around her makes me super happy and anxious at the same time. But I also can’t just ask her out. I don’t even know if she likes girls. And it’s not an accepted kind of relationship in any way.

“Are you okay?”, Miyeon interrupted her thoughts. “You seem a bit upset.”

Soyeon stared out into the yard and avoided Miyeon’s worried look. “Yeah I’m fine.”

Soyeon put on a poker face and tried to forget her predicament for now. Miyeon sat down next to her and inspected her perfectly styled nails.

A moment later Yuqi came out of the room, Minnie just behind her. “Let’s get some breakfast”, she pulled Soyeon from the heater. She halted as she saw her blank face. “Hey. What’s wrong?”, she asked her in a soft voice.

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not”, Yuqi replied.

She mustered her for a few seconds, before she suddenly pulled her into a firm hug. Soyeon melted into her arms and hugged her back tenderly. She was utterly overwhelmed by her happy emotions. Oh god. I can smell her hair. This is the best. Damn all holding back.

And so they stood there, in the light filled hallway, for a few long moments and just enjoyed each other’s embrace.

______________________________________

At this point I'd like to thank everyone for the encouraging comments and praise. I read it all and greatly appreciate it. It really keeps me motivated and never fails to make me smile.

Also I most likely won't be able to write for the next month and a half since my real-life obligations are catching up to me. The next chapter will come late but I promise it will come.

As always feedback, grammar corrections and so on are appreciated.

Thanks for reading!

PS: Get hyped for the comeback at the 26th!!

PPS: https://gfycat.com/scratchydemandingkatydid  Have a gif in celebration :3