Chaeyoung sighed as she entered the hotel room she had to herself. It was rare for a member of the nine piece girlgroup to have their own room but given the late arrival of one of their managers who was suppose to share a room with Chaeyoung, the idol had the room to herself for the night.

After slipping the hotel card into the card slot and watching the room light up, the idol closed the room door and walked across the room. She tossed her self-designed tote bag onto her designated bed before plopping herself down on the sofa by the window. It had been a long day. The group had just returned from a soundcheck for the concert they were having the following night.

Chaeyoung looked out the window and took in the beauty the city lights had provided. She was in another city witnessing another view from yet another hotel room. Twice's busy schedule was taxing to the young ladies in the group and there were times Chaeyoung had found herself being overwhelmed by it. 

Sensing the negative or rather, unwanted feeling beginning to sink in, Chaeyoung reached over to the backpack she had on the other end of the sofa. The backpack she was often seen with in airport shots when travelling. The JYPE artist rumaged through the bag and pulled out a black book which resembled a scrapbook in many ways. At the front of it read the world 'Miracles' written in cursive writings with her name underneath it. 

Chaeyoung allowed her fingers to trace over the gold ink. The words brought back memories. She remembered when she started the book. It was a year prior to SIXTEEN and Chaeyoung had felt a little bit overwhelmed by the pressure of being a girlgroup trainee. She wasn't the only one as she recalled seeing the older trainees go through countless amount of tear shedding moments due to the hardship they faced. Chaeyoung then decided that she had needed an outlet- a very good friend of hers suggested that she keep something to keep count of her blessings. Hence, Chaeyoung started the book. 

The black book contained of many stories written in the form of diary entries, cheesy poems her younger self had written through the years, verses which she had turned into songs, more verses which never seemed to be completed and also pictures, may it be printed on normal paper, photo paper or in form of polaroids, they were in there. Her entries through the years told a story leading up to who she had become. It was a book Chaeyoung often flipped through to remind her to stay humble, to remind her of her dreams and to keep the passion in her ignited. 

Chaeyoung flipped through the first few pages and chuckled at the doodles and drawings she had on it. She also skimmed her eyes over the photos she had pasted in it of her trainee days. Most were funny pictures which held stories behind them which were just as funny and she chuckled as she recalled the highlights of those moments. After the first few pages, the book then started her 'official', documented journey to fame. The following pages had contained her take on SIXTEEN with pictures of her and other trainees at the time, words of encouragements written boldly on the pages, her entries on the highs and lows of the whole survival program and random moments from it which she kept close to her heart.

The final page of the SIXTEEN chapter had contained a picture of nine girls embracing each other. Chaeyoung treasured that picture as well as the moment it had happened more than anything in the world. It was the start of it all- it was the very moment her life started changing and her dreams had turned into reality. Unconsciously, she found herself whispering 'Thank you' as her fingers traced the picture.

SIXTEEN was a sensitive era for the Twice members especially Momo who had been so close to not making the line up but all the girls had their fair share of hardships going through it as well. Not wanting to think too much about the hard times SIXTEEN had brought upon them, Chaeyoung shifted her attention back to the picture of nine girls wrapped up in a hug. However, her sharp eyes caught details that she would usually have overlooked. She caught a glimpse of the blurred out figures of the trainees who did not make it into the line up at the back of the embracing group and felt her heart drop. Chaeyoung shook her head and flipped the page quickly. 

What followed after were entries of the group's preperation for their official debut. Chaeyoung had talked about relocating from a trainee dorm to a dorm which was specially for Twice, she talked about the experience of working on an album, working on choreography to a song which she would be able to call hers and she also included many pictures of the process. She traced a picture of her, Dahyun and Tzuyu in the JYPE dance studio they had taken after their first ever full dance session for their first EP. She could still feel the sense of excitement and eagerness she had back when she had made these entries. Without knowing, a small smile formed on her lips.

Next following pages were her documented version of the group's debut- the Like Ooh Aah era. Chaeyoung recalled that even though they didn't break through as high as they would have now, she remembers how thankful and excited the members were. She recalled how Jihyo would take a moment to herself after every performance they had just to put her hands together and pace her forehead on them as she mumbled thank yous before rejoining the team again. She recalled watching the leader of the group do it every night too before she closed her eyes to sleep. 

Chaeyoung flipped further and saw that the era had changed into their Cheer Up era. It was considered THE era that changed it all. She read a page which had the date '160505' written in big, bold and underlined fonts. She remembered that day like it was yesterday. The girls stood on stage being the short-listed acts up for the #1 throphy. They had gone against Jung Eunji, an idol whom they had all admired and looked up to so dearly. She remembered the echoing sound of their group name being announced before confetti was shot to the air and Jihyo grabbing the mic to start the speech giving. She remembers crying, she remembers laughing, she remembers smiling so hard - she remembers everything. 

Chaeyoung traced the outline of the cut picture she had pasted on that entry. The girls were dressed in the white, black and pink Cheer Up costume and were a crying mess on stage. A few words followed which she decided to skip, it was probably the thank you speech she written for what she felt that moment. At the end of the paragraph, on the right side of the page was a picture of her and Somi with their arms wrapped around each other's shoulders. 

Somi had been promoting with I.O.I. at the time and was on stage when Twice received that win. Chaeyoung smiled as she recalled how Somi was the first person she had looked for after winning and it was as if Somi knew since she had appeared in sight just when Chaeyoung had tip toed to find her. Chaeyoung was thankful that she was given the chance to share that beautiful moment with one of the most beautiful people in her life other than the 8 sisters she made through Twice.

Chaeyoung flipped though the pages which contained more of the Cheer Up era wins but stopped when she came across a page that wasn't about Twice. It contained newspaper cuttings, pictures and quotes from Produce 101 which Somi had been in. The following pages also had the news updates on I.O.I.'s success and Chaeyoung had pasted a picture of Somi seated on the top of the Produce 101 pyramid with the quote, "In this together" accompanied with an arrow pointing to Somi. The overwhelming feeling came back, this time twice as hard and this time, for a whole different reason. 

Chaeyoung closed the book and leant back on the sofa. She covered her eyes with her arm and sighed. There was no escaping the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach so she decided to let herself feel instead. The words she wrote above Somi's head kept echoing in her mind as she thought about her best friend. Flashes of her time with Somi had played in her mind and she had to take deep breaths to ensure that she didn't get too overwhelmed by it all. Somi. Jeon Somi. Somi had been a big part of her life. Somi had been there at her best and worst. Somi was there through it all. The only problem about Somi was, she wasn't here now.

Somi gave her all in SIXTEEN that Chaeyoung found it almost unfair that the younger girl got cut from the final line up. Chaeyoung shut her eyes even tighter as she replayed the scene when Jeongyeon had said Somi's name as the eliminated member. Chaeyoung felt like her world came crashing down but she gave everything she had to keep her composure throughout the rest of the announcement. She felt a similar way towards Minyoung and Natty being eliminated too but with Somi, Chaeyoung was biased hence it intensified the whole injustice she felt. However, with time, Chaeyoung accepted and understood Park Jinyoung's decision on the final line up and why Somi wasn't included but it didn't lessen the pain. 

Following Somi's success in Produce 101 and also the success of I.O.I. which followed right after, Chaeyoung had accepted everything even more. Somi was in a good position and so was Twice. She felt at ease. Chaeyoung then felt her breaths evening out. However, her chest only tightened as more memories came rushing through her head. There was a conversation between them which had happened during Twice's Cheer Up era and Somi's I.O.I. domination days. A conversation which then comforted but now hurt the idol. 

It was in the JYPE cafeteria where Chaeyoung and Somi had hung out one day when they had time to spare. They caught up with each other and updated each other about their respective careers, both were busy and doing well.

"If it's like this then I'm glad." Chaeyoung had said.
Somi stopped knocking her water bottle on the table and tilted her head cutely, "What do you mean, unnie?"

"Even if you're not beside me on stage, I can accept it." Chaeyoung smiled a meaningful smile.

"Why is that?" Somi asked again, not moving from her head tilting posture. 

"We may not be part of the same constellation but as long as we shine as bright, I'm happy." Chaeyoung said.

She watched as tears gathered and glistened in Somi's eyes for a split second before the younger girl had blinked it away and started teasing Chaeyoung.

"Ayyy! Chaeyoung unnie is so cheesy!" Somi exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air.

The two burst out laughing before Chaeyoung reached across and smacked Somi's arm.

"Yah Jeon Somi! I'm serious. Let's live our lives well." Chaeyoung suggested holding her hand up, facing Somi for a high 5.

"Okay, call! We'll shine bright-" Somi said as she put her palm against Chaeyoung's before lacing their fingers together. "far in distance but close at heart."

Chaeyoung uncovered her eyes and lifted herself from the slouching position she was in. The girl sighed and didn't even bother to wipe her tear-stained eyes. The conversation which had happened two years back brought a form of comfort to Chaeyoung as she knew it was a promise from Somi that she wouldn't give up on her dreams. However, time had passed and Chaeyoung had realised along with the rest of the world that Somi was getting lost in the midst of finding a place to belong. After I.O.I. disbanded, though Somi had a few solo projects and schedules, the topic and management of her official debut was always in the air. Chaeyoung also was too busy with Twice's overly packed schedule that she didn't really have the time to check in on Somi's development. They started seeing each other next to never and all Chaeyoung knows of her is usually whatever she or the other members read online. 

Chaeyoung bit the insides of her cheek as she tried to keep her emotions in check. Four years ago, she was so sure that she'd be in a group with Somi, they would share the stage together, write songs together, help each other with the choreographies thrown their ways, get through each day together like they always had done and just... be by each other's sides always and forever. However, life has never been that simple. Chaeyoung couldn't help but think about how hard and frustrated the younger girl must have felt going through all she did. 

Chaeyoung thought that Somi would be okay. She was and still is destined for greatness. Chaeyoung was sure Somi could and would make it, she still is. However, Chaeyoung understood that in their industry, time was precious. Somi must have felt the pressure and begun to become desperate. Chaeyoung didn't blame her though. With all the work she had done and recognition she had gotten as a trainee alone, the girl had every right to feel the way she probably did. It wasn't until Somi's departure from the company did Chaeyoung realised how serious the problem was. She remembers the text message Somi had sent her explaning the whole situation. Somi said that perhaps it was time for her to seek opportunity elsewhere and that everything had ended on good terms. She didn't explicitly state the reason during the time and Chaeyoung had been too busy to really dig into it. Therefore, the older girl wished her the best of luck and promised to have her back no matter what. 

Upon the news of Somi signing with a new agency and an established one at that- Chaeyoung felt reassured again. Perhaps it was the best move for her. However, Somi recently received backlash for it as well. Netizens had accused her of many things that were speculated and not confirmed to be true. In the midst of it all, Chaeyoung can't lie and say she wasn't hurt that Twice was dragged into it too. Twice being used as a weapon against Somi was uncalled for and it saddened and disappointed Chaeyoung. 

Twice meant as much to Somi as it did to the Twice girls themselves. Twice was Somi's dream as it had been hers. Seeing people use Twice against Somi saying how it was no wonder or even a blessing that she wasn't included in Twice's final line up- was just a hit below the belt. As Somi had tearfully confessed in one episode of the variety show, Unnie's Slam Dunk, all she wanted was to be in Twice. With the aid of time, Chaeyoung knew that Somi grew to accept and understand the decisions made against her inclusion into the group. However, Chaeyoung also knew that it didn't lessen the hurt the younger girl felt nor did it change the fact that her heart was broken and a part of her dream did die with it.

Chaeyoung also read gossip tabloids of Somi's scandalous response and shady remarks directed to the company but paid no mind to it. At a young age and having gone through so much, any broken hearted soul would have done the same.

Although the situations they were in were never under their control, Chaeyoung can't help but feel guilty over not being around when Somi could have probably used her support. Her responsibilities to Twice were all just to heavy that all she finds herself doing is working almost every waking hour. The idol sighed again before shaking her head, trying not to let the tears fall again. Her eyes caught the blinking time flashing on the bedside alarm clock provided by the hotel and bit her lips. Chaeyoung slowly got up and walked to her bed where her tote bag was disposed earlier and grabbed her phone.

Chaeyoung scrolled through her contacts and landed on the ridiculous nickname Somi had saved herself under in Chaeyoung's phone book years ago. Chaeyoung also took time to admire the contact picture that appeared under Somi's details as well. It was a picture taken during their trainee days using an app where the two had dog ears on- looking cute while making funny faces to the camera. Chaeyoung took a breath and let it out before pressing the call button. 

"Chaeyoung unnieeeee!" Somi's signature loud and deep cheering voice came through the line.

Even just a simple line of greeting from the younger had Chaeyoung's spirits lifted. Chaeyong even felt the rush of emotions again when she realised how long it had been since she last heard that voice.

"Anneyong?" Somi called out again.

"Somi ah!" Chaeyoung had greeted back, trying to sound just as energetic.

"Chae Chae unnie!" Somi exclaimed excitedly as she ended it with a hearty laugh making Chaeyoung laugh along.

"What are you doing?" Chaeyoung asked the younger girl.

Somi hummed before groaning jokingly, "Still at work. You?"

"Same." Chaeyoung answered.

The line went quiet. As much as Chaeyoung wanted to talk to Somi, she couldn't think of the words to say. Just being with Somi had always been enough. Words were just a bonus. 

"Where are you now? Japan?" Somi's voice came through moments later. 

"Nae." Chaeyoung answered. "We have a concert tomorrow at Saitama."

"Wahh yahhh! Twice jjang!" Somi cheered, "All the best unnies!"

Chaeyoung could just imagine Somi waving her hands in the air as she cheered. Somi had always been hyping up all the people she cared about, be it Twice, be it the I.O.I. girls- even Evelyn, Somi is your resident Hype Girl.

"Thank you, Somi ah." Chaeyoung thanked the girl.

The line went quiet again and this time, Somi didn't seem to want to help diffuse the tension in the air. After a few more seconds of silence, Chaeyoung sighed. It was a sigh in a tone which Somi couldn't understand. 

"Why? Is something wrong?" The younger girl asked, voice laced with concern and worry.

"No, no." Chaeyoung replied as she shook her head along with it, "Why would anything be wrong?"

Chaeyoung heard Somi chuckle over the phone before replying, "I don't know. But I know you and you don't sound okay."

After spending a few seconds contemplating, Chaeyoung came clean.

"I... I miss you." The idol had confessed sincerely.

Chaeyoung swears she hears Somi's breath hitch before the younger girl composed herself again.

"I miss you too." Came her reply, just as sincere as the previous girl.

"How is everyone? Are you guys all well? Are you eating good?"

"We're good. We've been eating more than ever these days, actually."

Chaeyoung proceeded to talk about how the girls' eating habits had changed to more extreme eating. With Momo leading the pack in digging in and Tzuyu finishing it off by finishing the leftovers whenever they have any.

"Tzuyu unnie is so cute!" Somi exclaimed. Her adoration for the Taiwanese beauty had never been a secret, "Say hi to her for me!"

"Nae." Chaeyoung chuckled.

"Actually, say hi to everyone for me!" Somi corrected herself.

"Okay, Somi!" Chaeyoung said obediently.

"I'm watching you guys all the time. Do well like you have always done okay? You're all doing brilliant!" Somi cheered on.

Chaeyoung would always be thankful for Somi really. She had a big heart and always knew how to give and receive love. She and Sana had complimented each other well during the trainee days where both of them were goofy and affectionate.

Chaeyoung's heart pouded again as the line went silent before Chaeyoung took a breath. 

"Has it been hard?" Chaeyoung asked in a small and soft voice.

She heard Somi take a breath, probably to calm the nerves. Chaeyoung knew Somi well enough to know that the question alone must have triggered a million emotions in her. She heard Somi chuckle followed by a sigh.

"Ah unnie, when had it been easy for us?" Yes

"I'm sor-" Chaeyoung started only to be cut off by the younger girl.

"Unnie," Somi abruptly stopped Chaeyoung. From the sound of Somi's voice which was pain and discomfort disguised behind a sweet and carefree tone, Chaeyoung understood that it wasn't the time or the place but Somi appreciated her effort and thoughtfulness.

"I'll keep my promise. I'll work hard to shine as bright as you in the sky." Don't worry, I'll make it.

"You remember our promise right, unnie?" The younger girl probed again.

"Of course I do." Chaeyoung said as she begun to smile.

"Good. Hold me on to that okay?"

"You got it." Chaeyoung said, smiling even wider.

Another moment of silence followed before Somi cleared .

"Unnie, you should rest. You're gonna tear down the Saitama venue tomorrow!" Somi said hyping it up all over again. 

Chaeyoung giggled at the low hyping tone Somi always does. It was always good to hear. She was glad that their love for each other didn't change.

"Okay Somi ah. I guess I should go. You rest soon too, okay? Don't overwork yourself." Chaeyoung reminded.

Chaeyoung's heart thumped again too. Being on of the youngest members of the group, Chaeyoung had forgotten how it feels to be an unnie. Sure, she had a younger brother and the Twice girls often relied on each other but she missed being an unnie to Somi.

"Yes, boss." Somi mocked cheekily.

"Yah!" Chaeyoung exclaimed before laughing.

"Go, go! Bye unnie! Take care!" Somi shooed her off in between laughs. 

Chaeyoung was about to hang up the phone before she remembered something important. Something she wishes Somi will always remember.

"Somi ah-" she called back hastily.

"Nae?" Somi came back on the line.

"Saranghae."

After hearing Somi say it back, Chaeyoung hung up the phone and laid down on the bed. She stared up to the ceiling for a while before getting up and heading over to the window again. She looked up at the sky and smiled. Even though the city lights shone brightly, stars could still be seen shining just as brightly in the sky. Chaeyoung smiled and felt her spirits lift up even more.

"Let's shine together, Somi ah." Chaeyoung whispered.