1.

You’re about to leave for your second job’s graveyard shift when your mom calls. The music pierces your ears, but you don’t process it until the third ring. You rub your temples and answer her, your eyes heavy.

“Merry Christmas!” she cheers. You raise an eyebrow,  turning to the clock on the kitchen wall. Its hands are raised towards the sky. You offer a small smile, thinking about how she was always on top of celebrations.

After wishing her a Merry Christmas, your mom talks through family visitations. “You don’t need to pick us up at the station,” she reminds you for the third time. “It’s too cold and I know you’ll get sick by the time we leave.”

“What if you get lost?” you ask and as she huffs, you imagine her physically waving her hand in dismissal.

“Uh—  hello! Everyone’s got GPS on their phones now!” You roll your eyes so far back that you think you see the back of your skull. Still, your smile doesn’t fade.

As she raves over the features in her phone, you glance at the clock once more. 12:05. You still have time before your shift starts.

“Are you alright by the way?” Her voice is coated with concern and you sigh.

“Yes mom, you don’t need to worry about me.” You pause and the apartment’s stillness rings in your ears. “I’m an adult now.”

Your mother makes a sound as if she understands, but then she says, “And that’s why I’m asking if you’re okay.”

You don’t have anything to say to that, so you kneel down to tie your shoes and tug on the straps of your purse.

“I’m sorry we can’t be with you today. We’ll make it up to you,” she insists.

“I already told you it’s fine.” You run your hands through your hair to check for any knots. “I’m busy anyway, so you coming after Christmas is perfect.”

Your mother asks you another question and you freeze. The silence in your apartment is heavy and you know you can’t tell her the truth.

“Mom, I have to go.” You open the door and the sharp wind hits your face. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

She tells you she loves you and you hang up. Your feet crunch against the snow and you’re in a hurry. You don’t think about how your eyes burn uncomfortably as you walk into the winter night.
 

2.

A positive about getting a roommate is that rent becomes easier; you even get the privilege of quitting your second job. A negative about getting a one is the mandatory social interaction you face every single day, but you saw that as a plus when you first made the decision to live with someone. A negative about getting Nayeon seems to often change, but at the moment it’s her dragging your to the shopping district because she needs help shopping for Christmas presents.

“Why didn’t you buy your mother a present earlier?” you ask. You could have used this time to get a good night sleep. You also could have used this time to put the finishing touches on the present you made for Nayeon.

Nayeon shivers and brings the worn-out scarf over her cheeks, her hand squeezing yours for warmth. “I was busy with school!” And partying, you think but don’t dare add. “Not everyone is on top of it like you, Jihyo.”

Out of habit, you want to argue, but your thoughts are cut short when a bell rings overhead. You both pause and face toward the sound, watching the bell swing side to side as the clock below points to twelve.

Turning to Nayeon, you find her already staring back at you. “Merry Christmas,” you say. Her smile is wide, bright. You don’t think about the warmth in your chest. “You’re officially buying your mother something the last minute.”

“Huh?” Her eyes shoot wide. “!” She’s running down the street and you’re forced to keep up with her as she refuses to let go of your hand.

A small store sandwiched between two large businesses catches Nayeon’s gaze and she pulls you inside.

You close your eyes and bask in the store’s heat, a pleasant break from the winter weather..

“Stop standing there and help me!” Nayeon hisses and you remember why you’re even there.

The shop you find yourselves in is filled with cute plushies and you wonder if her mom would even like that as a present. However, Nayeon doesn’t hesitate as she snatches a bunch and hurries to the counter. The cashier is an old lady and you know Nayeon feels guilty when she tells her to keep the large amount of change.

She groans when you start to make your way back to the apartment. “It’s finally over.”

“Not going to buy something for the rest of your family? Like your cousins or something?” you tilt your head at her and she snorts.

Nayeon loops her arm through yours. Your shoulders bump as you walk, but you don’t complain. “Why would I when I’ll be gifting them with my presence?”

You bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing. “Ridiculous.”

Nayeon doesn’t respond and thus you don’t either, simply enjoying the silence and warmth shared between the two of you.

 

3.

The first thing Jeongyeon does when she enters your apartment is place your books atop the fridge. “Jihyo, can you please relax for once?”

You quirk an eyebrow. “I…am relaxing? I wanted to finish reading before we go back to school.”

Jeongyeon gapes and slaps one of the books she took on the table. That sounded a lot heavier than you remember. “Who reads Dante’s Inferno for fun?!”

“I’m telling you Jihyo’s a masochist,” Nayeon calls from the couch. She’s snuggled up in the scarf you knitted for her even though you’re all inside, buried in sweaters and blankets. “Not even our lit professor would assign that to us.”

“And you enable her,” Jeongyeon narrows her eyes.

Nayeon shrugs, not seeming to care for her glare. “We don’t kinkshame in this household.”

“You two are gross. Besides, there’s nothing—” you contemplate your next words. “Vulgar about reading.”

You reach for one of the chairs, but Jeongyeon catches you and insists she’ll put the chairs on the refrigerator too. You know she can’t, but you also know she’ll do it anyway and scratch the ceiling. You sigh and decide to sit on the couch too. The last thing you want is the landlord asking if the Grudge paid you and Nayeon a visit.

“Hey.” You raise your head to see Nayeon wiggling your eyebrows from the opposite side of the couch. She lifts the blanket for you to lie down beside her. Staring at her for a moment, you tug forcefully on the blanket and curl into a ball as the cloth envelops you in warmth. “Wha-hey!”

Closing your eyes, you smile. “Is ‘hey’ the only word you know?”

Nayeon scoffs. “Jerk.” You let her take back some of the blanket and now the warmth of both the blanket and Nayeon’s body heat settles nicely. Almost perfect in fact.

“Here you go.” Jeongyeon approaches them with two steaming cups, slowly setting them on the table. You crane your neck and see marshmallows bobbing up and down. They were the small ones, the kind you loved.

You smile at Jeongyeon. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” She sits on the edge of your side and your back hugs the cushions to offer Jeongyeon the little space left. Jeongyeon doesn’t mind and lies down with you, making Nayeon sit up and bring her legs to her chest. Your eyes grow heavy, but you fight off sleep as Jeongyeon puts an arm under your head.

“This couch is cramped as hell now,” Nayeon mumbles.

Jeongyeon smirks. “You’re just jealous that I get to snuggle with someone and you don’t.”

“And what about it? Wait, you know what?” Nayeon begins to get off the couch. “Move over, I’m joining you two.”

“What do you mean move ove—“

Jeongyeon’s words turn into a wheeze and air rushes out of your body as Nayeon pounces, her crashing on your stomach.

 

6.

You’re trying to cook dinner with Jeongyeon, but you find the task difficult when Sana and Momo refuse to stop peppering your face with kisses. Momo because she found out you’re going to cook her favorite dish; Sana because she saw Momo doing it and was looking for an excuse to express her love towards her friend.

“I’m pretty sure you guys kissed every inch of her face,” Jeongyeon says while her eyes focus on the carrot she’s peeling. You look down on the potato you’re holding, catching the lack of progress you made in scraping off its skin.

Nayeon lets out a huff, her frown deepening as she desperately tries to knit a sweater. Mina watches sympathetically, her finished work resting on her lap. “Don’t you think—oh —” Nayeon’s hands fumble as she tries to tighten the linen with her needles. “Don’t you think you two should give her some space?”

“Jihyo doesn’t mind,” Momo insists. “Do you, Jihyo?”

You feel Jeongyeon’s eyes dig holes into your back. You do mind, but before you can say so you make eye contact with Sana and all your resolve mushes like mashed potatoes. Just like the mashed potatoes you should be making.

“No I don’t mind…” you mutter.

Jeongyeon snorts and your face burns as the girls in matching Christmas sweaters cheer and hug you tighter.

It isn’t until Mina approaches the kitchen and decides to help do Momo and Sana let you go. They gravitate towards Mina like magnets.

“Is Christmas always like this with you guys?” you ask.

Mina shakes her head, her attitude nonchalant even as Momo nuzzles into her neck. “For us, it’s usually being polite with family. What about you?”

You think about the silence of your apartment and how it echoed the steps from your previous job. “This is something I’m getting used to.” You pause. “I like it.”

Her laugh leaves warmth in your stomach. “I like it too.”

 

8.

“You want to get your Master’s degree?!” You have to snatch your cup of cocoa before Chaeyoung knocks it off the table. Beside Chaeyoung, Nayeon sips from her mug as her eyes close to revel in the flavor.

“Haven’t you heard, Chae?” Nayeon leans against the couch, one arm resting on the former’s side. “Jihyo and I are masochists.”

Dahyun shivers. “Isn’t getting your bachelor’s bad enough?”

“I guess I love music too much,” you offer. You’re about to imply that Chaeyoung and Dahyun might want to attend grad school later on to scare them, but you never get the chance when a shrill scream cuts the air.

You and everyone in the living room turns to Jeongyeon, who has her hands in her hair. “How can you like that disgusting milk punch?” Her voice is cracked, as if someone she loved declared treason towards her.

“Milk punch?” Momo makes a face. “It’s called eggnog.”

“I’m calling that weapon exactly what it is Momo,” Jeongyeon crosses her arms. “How can anyone enjoy drinking egg yolks?”

“Lots of drinks have egg yolks in them.” Sana hums, drinking what you assume is eggnog if Jeongyeon’s expression tells you anything. “Besides, this is super sweet!”

Mina frowns. “Don’t you find it too sweet?”

“You hate eggnog?!” Dahyun and Chaeyoung bellow simultaneously.

That Christmas is the first time your apartment ever received a noise complaint. That’s when you realize eight people, including yourself, were in your home. Having everyone in your apartment is a tight fit, but you don’t mind at all.

 

9.

Though Dahyun is the one to introduce Tzuyu to everyone, you’re the one that invites her to the annual Christmas party. It’s been held in you and Nayeon’s apartment every year and you don’t know why.

“Sit with me, Tzuyu!” Nayeon pats her legs repeatedly even though there’s plenty of room on the couch.

“No, sit with me!” Sana yells from the other side of the living room. She schooches down until she’s sitting on Mina’s lap, who sighs but continues to write a letter for her Secret Santa.

Tzuyu stands in the middle of it all, her expression nervous, before retreating to the kitchen counter with you. Sana and Nayeon wallow in their defeat while you laugh, hiding your smile behind your mug.

“Thank you for inviting me,” she murmurs. You turn to stare at her and catch her vibrant eyes, the way she tries to not take too much space. She reminds you of a girl you knew years ago.

“Of course. Merry Christmas Tzuyu.”

You watch red dusts her cheeks as she smiles. “Merry Christmas Jihyo.”